Post by Miss Mina on Dec 29, 2010 22:46:24 GMT -6
“Hello people! Welcome to the Ski Slopes. Today we have a wonderful race for you that will pit Sedition’s own Dr. Amy Rosen against Dutch Dutchman. Let’s take you to Nessa who has the two competitors with her.”
“Hey Tom, I’m here now with Dr. Amy Rosen and the Dutch guy. Dutch Guy, what do you think about this ski slope of doom race today?”
“I think that I defeated a great rival in my last race, and I am facing another great skier again today. But I think I will win because I have a bigger heart and love these slopes more than she does.”
“Dr. Rosen, your response to these words?”
“I’m sorry what?”
“Dutch Dutchman was just saying that…”
“Yeah! Yeah! Whatever! Listen, I am the queen of these slopes, and if he thinks he is going to make me look bad in my first race back since Little Miss Bethington Panda finished the race for me on those other mountains, he’s got another thing coming. For this is no normal race Nessa, this is like… no rules and stuff… if he even thinks about trying to pass me I’ll impale him with his own skis so hard he’ll start falling UP the mountain. So there!”
“Strong words from these competitors, Tom!”
“Pipe down Nessa, I’m not done here! Vancouver last saw an epic amount of falls on these very slopes back in the Olympics. Bitches were flopping all over the place! Which is why I decided to test out my lasted invention here today. Ski stabilizers!”
“Wait what!?”
“That’s right you Dutch bastard, while you are skidding through the barriers and off of cliffs on your way to your doom, I’ll be stable Dr Drew pretends to be. Muwhahahahahhahahahahahhha!”
“This…. This can’t be legal….”
“Oh you silly gentile. You see, while you Dutch have the super power of breaking even… my people have the super power of money and contract law. I found all the proper loopholes, so this is in fact, completely legal! KNEEL BEFORE ROSEN!!”
“Ok Tom, this race is about to get started, back to you!”
“Thank you Nessa, it certainly seems like Mr. Dutchman has his work cut out for him.”
Both Dutch and Amy get to the starting line.
Beep…
Beep…
Beep….
Beep….
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
“And there the go!“
Right away it appears as though Dutch has the advantage gaining speed and pulling ahead of Amy. Into the first turn, the people hold their breath… but he makes it through! Amy’s stabilizers however, seem to have the reverse effect, sending her into several different directions back and forth across the slope.
“Oh no! Dr. Rosen’s stabilizers have gone bonkers! She’s gone into a tailspin!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Amy Rosen screams as she flails around in a panic. Dutchman, in this time takes the sixth corner cleanly and prepares for his final turn. Back up near the top, Amy is finally able to get her stabilizers off her skis, unfortunately both of her skis flies off her feet into the air, as if propelled by rockets. Dutchman takes the final corner, looking to make it clean… until the two skis land in front of him, knocking him off course!
“Oh no! Dutch has fallen! He’s sliding through the barrier! No! No! NOOOO!!!! Ladies and gentlemen…. Dutch Dutchman has just slid off the edge of the mountain…. Oh the humanity….”
Meanwhile, Dr. Rosen slips and slides down the slope on her sneakers, stumbling across the finish line and crashing into the end barrier.
“And she’s done it! Dr Rosen has won her first race back on the slopes!”
Amy stands back up in a woozy dazes, before looking around and realizing what has just occurred. She leaps into the air, kicking up her feet behind her and arms high in the air.
“YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!”
The shot of this joy is captured forever in a freeze frame as “Eye of the Tiger” begins to play.
“Hey Tom, I’m here now with Dr. Amy Rosen and the Dutch guy. Dutch Guy, what do you think about this ski slope of doom race today?”
“I think that I defeated a great rival in my last race, and I am facing another great skier again today. But I think I will win because I have a bigger heart and love these slopes more than she does.”
“Dr. Rosen, your response to these words?”
“I’m sorry what?”
“Dutch Dutchman was just saying that…”
“Yeah! Yeah! Whatever! Listen, I am the queen of these slopes, and if he thinks he is going to make me look bad in my first race back since Little Miss Bethington Panda finished the race for me on those other mountains, he’s got another thing coming. For this is no normal race Nessa, this is like… no rules and stuff… if he even thinks about trying to pass me I’ll impale him with his own skis so hard he’ll start falling UP the mountain. So there!”
“Strong words from these competitors, Tom!”
“Pipe down Nessa, I’m not done here! Vancouver last saw an epic amount of falls on these very slopes back in the Olympics. Bitches were flopping all over the place! Which is why I decided to test out my lasted invention here today. Ski stabilizers!”
“Wait what!?”
“That’s right you Dutch bastard, while you are skidding through the barriers and off of cliffs on your way to your doom, I’ll be stable Dr Drew pretends to be. Muwhahahahahhahahahahahhha!”
“This…. This can’t be legal….”
“Oh you silly gentile. You see, while you Dutch have the super power of breaking even… my people have the super power of money and contract law. I found all the proper loopholes, so this is in fact, completely legal! KNEEL BEFORE ROSEN!!”
“Ok Tom, this race is about to get started, back to you!”
“Thank you Nessa, it certainly seems like Mr. Dutchman has his work cut out for him.”
Both Dutch and Amy get to the starting line.
Beep…
Beep…
Beep….
Beep….
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOP
“And there the go!“
Right away it appears as though Dutch has the advantage gaining speed and pulling ahead of Amy. Into the first turn, the people hold their breath… but he makes it through! Amy’s stabilizers however, seem to have the reverse effect, sending her into several different directions back and forth across the slope.
“Oh no! Dr. Rosen’s stabilizers have gone bonkers! She’s gone into a tailspin!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Amy Rosen screams as she flails around in a panic. Dutchman, in this time takes the sixth corner cleanly and prepares for his final turn. Back up near the top, Amy is finally able to get her stabilizers off her skis, unfortunately both of her skis flies off her feet into the air, as if propelled by rockets. Dutchman takes the final corner, looking to make it clean… until the two skis land in front of him, knocking him off course!
“Oh no! Dutch has fallen! He’s sliding through the barrier! No! No! NOOOO!!!! Ladies and gentlemen…. Dutch Dutchman has just slid off the edge of the mountain…. Oh the humanity….”
Meanwhile, Dr. Rosen slips and slides down the slope on her sneakers, stumbling across the finish line and crashing into the end barrier.
“And she’s done it! Dr Rosen has won her first race back on the slopes!”
Amy stands back up in a woozy dazes, before looking around and realizing what has just occurred. She leaps into the air, kicking up her feet behind her and arms high in the air.
“YYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!”
The shot of this joy is captured forever in a freeze frame as “Eye of the Tiger” begins to play.
