Post by Sedition: Jimmy on Nov 6, 2010 22:06:03 GMT -6
Character Name: James Chambers
Picture Base: Quinton "Rampage" Jackson
post a picture if possible
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 240 lbs.
Background on Character: A former EwC Champion and member of the Sedition, Chambers is also the Owner, Operator and CEO of Chambers Reliable Auto Parts, abbreviated as C.R.A.P. Despite being a member of the Sedition, James maintains a rather contentious relationship with Gladiator, and during their time in EwC the two often engaged in childish, immature, and sometimes violent pranks that unwittingly involved other members of the group.
Personality:
Heel (villain) - Face (hero) Neutral (neutral)
A face with heel tendencies, more or less.
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Entrance Music: "On my way to the cage"- Rollins Band
Brief Entrance Description
"On my way to the cage" blares over tha PA as James makes way to the ring. He shakes a few hands and fondles a few women before entering the ring.
Fighting Style: Angry black man with a touch of incompetent businessman.
Trademark Finisher: "Get the fuck out of my office, NOW!"
Finisher Description: James screams "Get the fuck out of my office, NOW!" at the top of lungs, usually causing the victim to scuttling out of the office like a scalded dog. He usually follows this up by throwing a book, a picture of his son or one of the many items on his desk.
Varation include "Get your ass out, NOW!", "Get me some fucking toilet paper, NOW!"
Brief list of moves used by wrestler:
5 - 10 moves
Paralyzing Sarcasm
Questionable Parenting Skills
Random outbursts of Maniacal Laughter
Cheesy Pick-Up lines
Wearing way too much cologne
Thousand Yard Stare (Only when bored)
Excessive pointing of the fingers
Intimidating & Aggressive Hand Motions
Apathetic Demeanor
Idiosyncratic, Halting speaking manner
Sharp Tongued Insults (Cunt cookie, fudge pumper)
Severe overreaction to small problems
Excessive Swearing
Expletive laced tirades which include graphic threats of Violence
Horrible Dance Moves (specifically the tootsie roll, but James has been known to bust out a funky chicken on occasion)
Rancid Flatulence
Frequent use of outdated slang ("Jive Turkey", "Don't go there", "Oh no you didn't")
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***In Ring Moves****
Style: Dutch Muy Thai/Submission Wrestling
Judo Throw
Flying Knee
Impact Spinebuster
Various Punching combinations
Impact Spinebuster
Gorilla Press Slam (In No-Disqualification situations, victim may be thrown into the crowd, or through the announcer's table)
Axe Kick
Uppercut
High Kick
Impact Clothesline (think JBL's clothesline from hell)
Spear
Finishing Moves:
Beast Season: Think Marcus Cor Von's Pounce with a spear instead of a shoulder block. This is often used a setup to the Earthquake, but has been known finish weaker opponents.
Earthquake: High Impact frog splash. (Think RVD's Five Star Frog Splash)
How were you referred to SWA: Y'all know who i is.
Past e-fed experience: I said...Y'all know who i is.
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Supporting Characters in the C.R.A.P Enterprises universe
Biff Riboflavin
Born October 3rd, 1986 (Age 24)
Relationships: Protege of James Chambers and also works in the Mail Room along with Daniel Tan and Anderson Patel.
Info: Easily one of the most recognizable members of the Chambers entourage, Biff is the lovable, yet slightly retarded protégé of James Chambers. It was revealed when Biff was attempting to earn his GED that he had repeated the ninth grade six times. Biff is also frequent visitor of the Chambers household (sometimes unwanted) where he raids the fridge, breaks all of the fine china, and stops up all the toilets. Out of all of C.R.A.P’s employees, Biff is the highest paid due to his loyalty to James and genuine good heart. Though Biff is not the brightest, morally he’s the best friend anyone could have because of his willingness to help out a friend in need. In 2009 Biff unintentionally had himself committed when Sedition member Gladiator told him about a "place where he gets his own room,can play connect four and Chinese checkers whenever he wants, and also get Jello for dessert." Biff unaware that he was committing himself to a mental hospital, asked to be "signed up" and was subsequently confined to the facility. Due to his extremely low IQ and other mental handicaps, Biff was declared unable to live on his own, and thus detained against his will. He was recently broken out of the institution by his brother Kenny, who breached security disguised as Ryan Phillipe. Biff made his way back to James, where he was given a new job (he was formerly a cashier at a C.R.A.P store) in the mail room at C.R.A.P enterprises. As far as Biff's escape, James convinced Biff to turn himself into police. Biff faced assault charges after he and Kenny attacked a receptionist, but Kenny confessed to assaulting everyone and cleared Biff of all accusations. The charges were dropped against Biff, but Kenny wasn't so lucky. His fate is currently unknown, and is currently incarcerated at the Atlanta City Jail awaiting trial for numerous assault charges.
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Matthew Chambers
Born December 7th, 1950 (Age 59)
Relationships: Uncle of James, Martin, Charlie, Derek, and Willie Chambers. Great Uncle of Marcus Chambers. Boss of Noah Riboflavin. Record keeper at C.R.A.P enterprises.
Info: A staple in the Chambers family, Matthew has been involved in James's athletic career since he was five years old. He is also the boss of Noah Riboflavin. He despises Noah because he feels that he is a dumb kid who's never had to work for anyting. He takes any and every opportunity to verbally berate and emasculate him and makes no secret about his hatred for him. Matthew speaks rather incoherently in unintelligible, broken sentences, and is very short-tempered.
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Martin Chambers
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Born July 7th, 1968 (Age 42)
Relationships: Brother of James, Willie, Charlie and Derek Chambers. Nephew of Matthew Chambers(Third Oldest). Uncle of Marcus Chambers. Head of security at C.R.A.P enterprises.
Info: James's older brother and head of security at C.R.A.P enterprises. Served 22 years in Georgia's Savannah State Prison from 1987 to 2009 for shooting a cop in the toe and then defecating on his chest. Despite claiming to be straight, he still harbors homosexual tendencies that he aquired in prison. He secretly has eyes for Noah Riboflavin (who is terrified of him), and is often seen hitting on him, much to Noah's discomfort. Martin is also a accomplished singer-songwriter, who wrote and recorded music while incarcerated. He scored a hit single in 1992 entitled "Butt Love" that peaked at #6 on the Billboard R&B charts. It was nominated for an MTV Music Award, but lost out to Pearl Jam. The band's frontman Eddie Vedder was quoted as saying "I can't believe we won. Butt Love is the most heartfelt ode to man on man anal congress that I've ever heard. After listening to it, I honestly feel like I've been sodomized." After his release, he was immediately appointed to head of security and has been doing such job ever since.
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Willie Chambers
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Born September 17th, 1964
Relationships: Brother of James, Charlie, Derek, and Martin Chambes. Nephew of Matthew Chambers, Father of Marcus Chambers. District manager of all C.R.A.P stores.
Info: Willie is the oldest of the Chambers brothers, and may quite possibly be the most level headed one. While James at times can be an overbearing hothead, Willie is cool, calm and collected. His easygoing persona is what led to him being hired as the C.R.A.P's district manager. Out of all of his employees, James appears to trust Willie the most. Willie has three children, one of them being Marcus Chambers, who is also an employee at C.R.A.P. Though he loves his son, his disapproves of his failing rap career, and treatment of Biff Riboflavin. Whenever he spots his son rapping vulgar rhymes around customers or cursing at Biff he forces him to take off his hat and du-rag, bend down, he then delivers a swift slap to the back of his head. Because of his position as district manager, Willie's presence at C.R.A.P enterprises is rare, as most of his working day is spent making rounds at all of C.R.A.P's stores.
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Derek Chambers
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Born May 25th, 1972 (Age 38)
Relationships: Brother James, Charlie, Willie, and Martin Chambers. Uncle of Marcus Chambers, nephew of Marcus Chambers. Runs the mail room at C.R.A.P enterprises.
Info: James's innovative, yet somewhat dimwitted older brother. He is a self-proclaimed entrepreneur, despite not having any way financially to invest in his projects. He received a nursing certification at the Louisiana Job Corps and has not furthered his education since. Though Derrick has good ideas, they ultimately turn out to go to the wind due to the fact that he has no finances to back them up. He currently heads up the Mail Room at C.R.A.P enterprises. Even still, He continues to shop his harebrained, get rich quick schemes to James, but nothing has yet to come to fruition.
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Kenny Riboflavin
Hometown: Detroit, Michigan (Currently incarcerated in Atlanta)
Born March 10th, 1974
Relationships: Brother of Kenny and Noah Riboflavin, former delivery driver for C.R.A.P stores.
Info: The oldest of the Riboflavin brothers, Kenny is a danger to society. He exhibits sociopathic tendencies, and it is speculated that he is a suspect in several unsolved homicides in the Midwestern United States. He was also jailed for several years after he was convicted on a 1997 aggravated assault charge after he was accused of stabbing a mall security guard with a pitchfork. He was released in 2007 after serving 9 ½ years, and briefly worked a as a delivery driver for C.R.A.P before being fired for assaulting a customer with an air hammer. Biff is completely oblivious to his brother’s wrongdoings, and idolizes Kenny more than James. Even during Kenny’s incarceration period, despite being told where his brother was, Biff was convinced that Kenny was doing missionary work in South Africa. Despite his violent tendencies and dark sense of humor, Kenny is shown to care deeply for his brothers, especially Biff, who he is very protective over. He once attempted to place a car bomb on Ashley Tumbleston's vehicle after she insulted Biff, but decided against it when his brother Noah entered the parking garage. Kenny is currently incarcerated following a botched escape attempt in which he tried to break his brother out of a Kenessaw mental hospital. Kenny took the fall, and is currently awaiting trial in an Atlanta City Jail.
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Noah Riboflavin
Born December 12th,1990 (Age 19)
Hometown: Detroit, Michigan
Relationships: Brother of Biff and Kenneth Riboflavin.(Youngest). Also an intern at C.R.A.P enterprises as a personal assistant for Matthew Chambers. Love interest of Martin Chambers. Frontman and Keyboardist of Colorblind, a multiracial Jazz cover band.
Info: Noah is the youngest of the Riboflavin brothers. Unlike Biff and Kenny, Noah is highly intelligent, and he was the valedictorian of his graduating class. Upon graduating high school, He began internship at C.R.A.P as the personal assistant for Matthew Chambers. Noah is subjected to verbal abuse from Matthew on a daily basis. He once attempted revenge on Matthew by urinating in his coffee pot, but the prank backfired when Matthew failed to detect that the coffee was tainted. In fact, he enjoyed it, and chalked the change in taste up to a new expensive roast. As a result of this, Noah must urinate in Matthew's coffee pot (without his knowledge) to keep his job. Noah's timid demeanor and unwillingness to stand up for himself often make him the target of pranks around the office. He is also the victim of sexual advances made by Martin Chambers. He has a complicated relationship with Amina Wallace stemming from an incident at a company picnic at which she drunkenly forced Noah into a nearby outdoor storage shed and performed oral sex on him. This causes Martin Chambers to be fiercely jealous of Amina, and it also causes Noah to go to great lengths to avoid Amina all together. Noah is the keyboardist and lead vocalist in a multiracial jazz band named Colorblind with security guards Flynt Cutler and Walter Rice. The band is his true passion, and appears to be the only outlet to happiness he has in his otherwise boring life.
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Crystal Mendoza
Born May 6th, 1986 (Age 24)
Hometown: Los Angeles, California
Relationships: Former secretary for James, current C.R.A.P project manager, possible love interest of Biff Riboflavin.
Info: Crystal is the quiet, sweet, yet bold secretary at C.R.A.P's offices. Crystal comes from a very poor neighborhood, but she never let that deter her in her pursuit of success. She graduated high school at the top of her class and hasn't looked back since. She is currently attending community college right now as well as working at C.R.A.P. Crystal is very organized, neat, and merry, but is known to put pompous employees in their place. In 2010, after four years of hard work as James's secretary, she was promoted to the position of Project Manager, where she sets up and organizes company functions. It is also well known that Biff Riboflavin has a crush on her, and often spreads rumors of them being an item. Since Crystal has never denied the rumors outright, it has been implied that she doesn't mind Biff crushing on her, and in fact likes him herself.
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Amina Wallace
Born June 3rd, 1982 (Age 28)
Hometown: Atlanta, Georgia
Relationships: Secretary for James Chambers at C.R.A.P enterprises (lower level)
Info: Amina is the latest addition to the C.R.A.P family. She was hired recently during James's hiatus from the wrestling industry. She is shown to be a smart, attentive and kind person who is dedicated to her job. It is also well known that she dislikes her co-worker Ashley Tumbleston, because of her prissy attitude and all-around incompetence. She tolerates her for the sake of being professional, but has been quoted as saying "I will cut that bitch if i see her in the streets." Amina is an alcoholic in her personal life, and has been known to drink heavily at company recreational functions. One famous incident occurred when she became severely intoxicated and forced fellatio on Noah Riboflavin at a company picnic. This causes awkwardness in their relationship, both professional and personal. James and the rest of the staff jokingly credit Amina with giving Noah his first taste of "chocolate", without her knowledge of course.
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Ashley Tumbleston
Born March 12th, 1986 (Age 24)
Hometown: Atlanta, Georgia
Relationships: , C.E.O of C.R.A.P enterprises, niece of Rusty Riley (James's retired former manager, boxing coach and longtime friend)
Info: A spoiled, stuck up, immature brat, the only reason Ashley has a job is because of her Uncle. She spends most of her time at work chatting and texting on her phone, and does little to no work. She is virtually disliked by everyone in the building, including James. She leaves early on Fridays without permission, and is rude to everyone she comes across. She is especially cruel to Biff Riboflavin, stemming from an incident at the company's 2008 Christmas party. Biff had become severely intoxicated after drinking an entire bottle of Jagermeister, which caused him to vomit on Ashley's breasts. This incident, combined with the general dislike she attracts, earned Ashley the crude nickname "Puke Tits". Their supposed "animosity" is seemingly one sided, as the infamously chipper Biff appears to have forgotten the incident, and happily greets Ashley everytime he sees her, to which she responds with insults.
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Flynt Cutler (pictured left) & Walter Rice (Pictured Right)
Hometown: Flynt (Chicago, Illinois), Walter (Cleveland, Ohio)
Born May 10, 1979 (Flynt,Age 31), October 12th, 1976 (Walter,Age 34)
Relationships: Lower level security guards at C.R.A.P enterprises. Members of "Colorblind" with Noah Riboflavin.
Info: Best friends since high school, they were both hired at the same time as well. They do sub par work as security guards, and despite their jobs being threatened, they make little effort to improve their performance. They spend most of their time in the break room playing cards and eating other worker's food out of the refrigerator, whether the item is marked or not. They are both talented musicians, who were discovered when Noah Riboflavin had returned to the building after work to retrieve his Ipod, and discovered them playing a Jazz cover of A-ha's "Take On Me". He subsequently recruited them join his multiracial jazz band Colorblind, where Flynt plays the saxophone, and Walter is the drummer.
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Jerry Patterson
Hometown: Gainesville, Georgia
Born January 12th, 1965 (Age 45)
Relationships: Janitor at C.R.A.P
Info: Wise and friendly, Jerry is one of the most trusted and respected employees of the C.R.A.P corporation. For the most part, Jerry is easygoing, but gets agitated when referred to as a Janitor. He considers himself the "Head of Facilities Maintenance " and will not hesitate to correct anyone (including James) who may refer to him as otherwise. Jerry one of the few employees who is kind to Biff Riboflavin (with the exception of his brother Noah) and is often seen reading to Biff and playing connect four with him on their respective lunch breaks. Jerry is known as a counselor of sorts, as many of his coworkers come to him for general advice and moral support. He is very obsessive when it comes to cleanliness and has been known to scold workers who do not clean up after themselves.
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Charlie Chambers
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Born April 6th, 1983 (Age 27)
Relationships: Manager of C.R.A.P's smallest store in Gwinnett County. Brother of James, Martin, Willie, and Derek Chambers. Nephew of Matthew Chambers.
Info: Charlie is the youngest of the Chambers clan. Standing at 5'3", Charlie has a severe little man's complex, which causes him to lash out at people who he feels are taking advantage of him because of his size. He has physically assaulted employees for the smallest infractions, such as forgetting to punch out, or moving his personal step ladder from the location he left it. Despite his violent temper , Charlie has shown very poor fighting skills, and has been physically bested by every employee he has attacked. James is fed up with Charlie, but is unable to bring himself to fire his own brother. Instead, he moved Kevin out to the Gwinnett County location which sees very little customer traffic and only has the need for a handful of employees. Kevin often leaves his lesser intelligent nephew Marcus Chambers (son of Willie) in charge to come down to C.R.A.P enterprises to complain to James about not having a better paying job there like the rest of his brothers.
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Daniel Tan
Hometown: Bayonne, New Jersey
Born February 25th, 1987
Relationships: Friend of Noah Riboflavin, Mail Room employee, bassist of Colorblind.
Info: Nicknamed Dan Tan, He is the bassist of Colorblind and also assists with songwriting. Dan often visits with Noah on his lunch break to discuss performances and plan rehearsals for the band. Dan works downstairs in the mail room with Colorblind's bassist Andy Patel, after being recommended for the job by Noah. He along with Noah, is a target of Martin Chamber's advances. Noah's overbearing boss Matthew Chambers is highly stereotypical when it come to Dan,(he is of Chinese descent) and fears him because he thinks that Dan knows Kung Fu and will assault him. As a result, he refrains from browbeating Noah when Dan is around.
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Anderson Patel
Hometown: Marietta, Georgia by way of Maharashtra, India
Born March 17th, 1988
Relationships: Friend of Noah Riboflavin, Mail Room employee, and Clarinetist of Colorblind.
Info: Anderson, Nicknamed Andy, is the clarinetist of the group. Andy was born in India, but moved to the united states in 1990. His parents signed him up for clarinet lessons in order to help him fit in with his peers. At the recommendation of Noah Riboflavin, Andy, along with Daniel Tan was hired to work in the mailroom at C.R.A.P enterprises. Andy is a bit of a womanizer, and often hits on receptionist Ashley Tumbleston whenever he goes upstairs to visit Noah. He is also very brash and arrogant, and leeches money and food off of Noah whenever he is able to. After learning that Noah received oral sex (albeit against his will) by an inebriated Amina Wallace, Anderson flirts with her heavily hoping for the same result, but is constantly rebuffed. He frequently expresses his love for illegal pharmaceuticals, with vicodin and percocet being among his favorites.
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Marcus Chambers
Born October 12th, 1983 (Age 27)
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Relationships: Nephew of James, Charlie, Martin, and Derek Chambers. Son of Willie Chambers. Great-nephew of Matthew Chambers. Cashier at C.R.A.P's Gwinnett County location.
Info: James’s nephew, a wannabe rapper under the stage name of Thug Nasty Marc who is constantly shopping his new songs to James. He also formerly worked with Biff Riboflavin, whom he often took advantage of at work by bossing him around and unloading the majority of the work on Biff by blowing off his job to smoke pot in the dumpster. After Biff was committed, he had nobody to fall back on, and his poor work performance was exposed. James is fed up both with Marcus and his Uncle Charlie's lack of effort,focus, and discipline, so he assigns them both to the Gwinett County C.R.A.P location where Marcus is a cashier and Charlie is the store manager. The store has very little customer traffic, and there only five other people (including Marcus and Patrick Franklin) who are employed there. As far his music career, Marcus has yet to get a deal, but he did make waves with an independently released album titled I’m Stabbin’ And Slappin’ Somebody tonight which spawned a local hit single titled “Where My Five Dollars At?” featuring the equally untalented Flavor Flav.The song appeared to be popular, once it was discovered that the man rapping on the song was Thug Nasty Marc (Marcus Chambers) and not Soulja Boy, angry fans swarmed to the flea markets where they purchased the CD’s, demanding refunds.
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Patrick Franklin
Born June 16th, 1985 (Age 25)
Hometown: Fresno, California
Relationships: Cashier at C.R.A.P's Gwinnett County location.
Info: A foul mouthed pothead, Patrick is the toadie of Marcus Chambers. Patrick is also very ignorant, obnoxious, and narcissistic. He happens to believe he's god's gift to women, and is known for rudely and loudly propositioning female customers. Along with Marcus and Charlie, he has been moved to the Gwinnett location as a last chance to straighten up and fly right. In his days at C.R.A.P's main stores, he earned the ire of all his coworkers (Except Marcus) for his obnoxious attitude. Even The otherwise easy going Willie Chambers despised him, and once described him as a "Bottom feeding, self absorbed, obnoxious piece of prehistoric frog shit that would easily be trumped by Biff Riboflavin in a battle of wits."
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Kenny "Fortune" Morton
Born October 25th, 1973 (Age 37)
Hometown: South Central, Los Angeles, California
Relationships: Lawyer for C.R.A.P enterprises, personal lawyer for James
Info: A new face on the scene, Kenny "Fortune" Morton is the newly appointed lawyer of all C.R.A.P's legalities, as well as James's personal attorney. Kenny is quick, resourceful,thinks smart and talks fast. Born and raised on the mean streets of South Central, Kenny was destined for greatness. Even at an early age, Kenny showed signs of resourcefulness, creating his own map of the neighborhood and using crayons to mark the most accessible routes to escape from bullies and crackheads when being chased after school.
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Picture Base: Quinton "Rampage" Jackson
post a picture if possible
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 240 lbs.
Background on Character: A former EwC Champion and member of the Sedition, Chambers is also the Owner, Operator and CEO of Chambers Reliable Auto Parts, abbreviated as C.R.A.P. Despite being a member of the Sedition, James maintains a rather contentious relationship with Gladiator, and during their time in EwC the two often engaged in childish, immature, and sometimes violent pranks that unwittingly involved other members of the group.
Personality:
Heel (villain) - Face (hero) Neutral (neutral)
A face with heel tendencies, more or less.
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Entrance Music: "On my way to the cage"- Rollins Band
Brief Entrance Description
"On my way to the cage" blares over tha PA as James makes way to the ring. He shakes a few hands and fondles a few women before entering the ring.
Fighting Style: Angry black man with a touch of incompetent businessman.
Trademark Finisher: "Get the fuck out of my office, NOW!"
Finisher Description: James screams "Get the fuck out of my office, NOW!" at the top of lungs, usually causing the victim to scuttling out of the office like a scalded dog. He usually follows this up by throwing a book, a picture of his son or one of the many items on his desk.
Varation include "Get your ass out, NOW!", "Get me some fucking toilet paper, NOW!"
Brief list of moves used by wrestler:
5 - 10 moves
Paralyzing Sarcasm
Questionable Parenting Skills
Random outbursts of Maniacal Laughter
Cheesy Pick-Up lines
Wearing way too much cologne
Thousand Yard Stare (Only when bored)
Excessive pointing of the fingers
Intimidating & Aggressive Hand Motions
Apathetic Demeanor
Idiosyncratic, Halting speaking manner
Sharp Tongued Insults (Cunt cookie, fudge pumper)
Severe overreaction to small problems
Excessive Swearing
Expletive laced tirades which include graphic threats of Violence
Horrible Dance Moves (specifically the tootsie roll, but James has been known to bust out a funky chicken on occasion)
Rancid Flatulence
Frequent use of outdated slang ("Jive Turkey", "Don't go there", "Oh no you didn't")
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***In Ring Moves****
Style: Dutch Muy Thai/Submission Wrestling
Judo Throw
Flying Knee
Impact Spinebuster
Various Punching combinations
Impact Spinebuster
Gorilla Press Slam (In No-Disqualification situations, victim may be thrown into the crowd, or through the announcer's table)
Axe Kick
Uppercut
High Kick
Impact Clothesline (think JBL's clothesline from hell)
Spear
Finishing Moves:
Beast Season: Think Marcus Cor Von's Pounce with a spear instead of a shoulder block. This is often used a setup to the Earthquake, but has been known finish weaker opponents.
Earthquake: High Impact frog splash. (Think RVD's Five Star Frog Splash)
How were you referred to SWA: Y'all know who i is.
Past e-fed experience: I said...Y'all know who i is.
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Supporting Characters in the C.R.A.P Enterprises universe
Biff Riboflavin
Born October 3rd, 1986 (Age 24)
Relationships: Protege of James Chambers and also works in the Mail Room along with Daniel Tan and Anderson Patel.
Info: Easily one of the most recognizable members of the Chambers entourage, Biff is the lovable, yet slightly retarded protégé of James Chambers. It was revealed when Biff was attempting to earn his GED that he had repeated the ninth grade six times. Biff is also frequent visitor of the Chambers household (sometimes unwanted) where he raids the fridge, breaks all of the fine china, and stops up all the toilets. Out of all of C.R.A.P’s employees, Biff is the highest paid due to his loyalty to James and genuine good heart. Though Biff is not the brightest, morally he’s the best friend anyone could have because of his willingness to help out a friend in need. In 2009 Biff unintentionally had himself committed when Sedition member Gladiator told him about a "place where he gets his own room,can play connect four and Chinese checkers whenever he wants, and also get Jello for dessert." Biff unaware that he was committing himself to a mental hospital, asked to be "signed up" and was subsequently confined to the facility. Due to his extremely low IQ and other mental handicaps, Biff was declared unable to live on his own, and thus detained against his will. He was recently broken out of the institution by his brother Kenny, who breached security disguised as Ryan Phillipe. Biff made his way back to James, where he was given a new job (he was formerly a cashier at a C.R.A.P store) in the mail room at C.R.A.P enterprises. As far as Biff's escape, James convinced Biff to turn himself into police. Biff faced assault charges after he and Kenny attacked a receptionist, but Kenny confessed to assaulting everyone and cleared Biff of all accusations. The charges were dropped against Biff, but Kenny wasn't so lucky. His fate is currently unknown, and is currently incarcerated at the Atlanta City Jail awaiting trial for numerous assault charges.
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Matthew Chambers
Born December 7th, 1950 (Age 59)
Relationships: Uncle of James, Martin, Charlie, Derek, and Willie Chambers. Great Uncle of Marcus Chambers. Boss of Noah Riboflavin. Record keeper at C.R.A.P enterprises.
Info: A staple in the Chambers family, Matthew has been involved in James's athletic career since he was five years old. He is also the boss of Noah Riboflavin. He despises Noah because he feels that he is a dumb kid who's never had to work for anyting. He takes any and every opportunity to verbally berate and emasculate him and makes no secret about his hatred for him. Matthew speaks rather incoherently in unintelligible, broken sentences, and is very short-tempered.
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Martin Chambers
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Born July 7th, 1968 (Age 42)
Relationships: Brother of James, Willie, Charlie and Derek Chambers. Nephew of Matthew Chambers(Third Oldest). Uncle of Marcus Chambers. Head of security at C.R.A.P enterprises.
Info: James's older brother and head of security at C.R.A.P enterprises. Served 22 years in Georgia's Savannah State Prison from 1987 to 2009 for shooting a cop in the toe and then defecating on his chest. Despite claiming to be straight, he still harbors homosexual tendencies that he aquired in prison. He secretly has eyes for Noah Riboflavin (who is terrified of him), and is often seen hitting on him, much to Noah's discomfort. Martin is also a accomplished singer-songwriter, who wrote and recorded music while incarcerated. He scored a hit single in 1992 entitled "Butt Love" that peaked at #6 on the Billboard R&B charts. It was nominated for an MTV Music Award, but lost out to Pearl Jam. The band's frontman Eddie Vedder was quoted as saying "I can't believe we won. Butt Love is the most heartfelt ode to man on man anal congress that I've ever heard. After listening to it, I honestly feel like I've been sodomized." After his release, he was immediately appointed to head of security and has been doing such job ever since.
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Willie Chambers
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Born September 17th, 1964
Relationships: Brother of James, Charlie, Derek, and Martin Chambes. Nephew of Matthew Chambers, Father of Marcus Chambers. District manager of all C.R.A.P stores.
Info: Willie is the oldest of the Chambers brothers, and may quite possibly be the most level headed one. While James at times can be an overbearing hothead, Willie is cool, calm and collected. His easygoing persona is what led to him being hired as the C.R.A.P's district manager. Out of all of his employees, James appears to trust Willie the most. Willie has three children, one of them being Marcus Chambers, who is also an employee at C.R.A.P. Though he loves his son, his disapproves of his failing rap career, and treatment of Biff Riboflavin. Whenever he spots his son rapping vulgar rhymes around customers or cursing at Biff he forces him to take off his hat and du-rag, bend down, he then delivers a swift slap to the back of his head. Because of his position as district manager, Willie's presence at C.R.A.P enterprises is rare, as most of his working day is spent making rounds at all of C.R.A.P's stores.
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Derek Chambers
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Born May 25th, 1972 (Age 38)
Relationships: Brother James, Charlie, Willie, and Martin Chambers. Uncle of Marcus Chambers, nephew of Marcus Chambers. Runs the mail room at C.R.A.P enterprises.
Info: James's innovative, yet somewhat dimwitted older brother. He is a self-proclaimed entrepreneur, despite not having any way financially to invest in his projects. He received a nursing certification at the Louisiana Job Corps and has not furthered his education since. Though Derrick has good ideas, they ultimately turn out to go to the wind due to the fact that he has no finances to back them up. He currently heads up the Mail Room at C.R.A.P enterprises. Even still, He continues to shop his harebrained, get rich quick schemes to James, but nothing has yet to come to fruition.
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Kenny Riboflavin
Hometown: Detroit, Michigan (Currently incarcerated in Atlanta)
Born March 10th, 1974
Relationships: Brother of Kenny and Noah Riboflavin, former delivery driver for C.R.A.P stores.
Info: The oldest of the Riboflavin brothers, Kenny is a danger to society. He exhibits sociopathic tendencies, and it is speculated that he is a suspect in several unsolved homicides in the Midwestern United States. He was also jailed for several years after he was convicted on a 1997 aggravated assault charge after he was accused of stabbing a mall security guard with a pitchfork. He was released in 2007 after serving 9 ½ years, and briefly worked a as a delivery driver for C.R.A.P before being fired for assaulting a customer with an air hammer. Biff is completely oblivious to his brother’s wrongdoings, and idolizes Kenny more than James. Even during Kenny’s incarceration period, despite being told where his brother was, Biff was convinced that Kenny was doing missionary work in South Africa. Despite his violent tendencies and dark sense of humor, Kenny is shown to care deeply for his brothers, especially Biff, who he is very protective over. He once attempted to place a car bomb on Ashley Tumbleston's vehicle after she insulted Biff, but decided against it when his brother Noah entered the parking garage. Kenny is currently incarcerated following a botched escape attempt in which he tried to break his brother out of a Kenessaw mental hospital. Kenny took the fall, and is currently awaiting trial in an Atlanta City Jail.
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Noah Riboflavin
Born December 12th,1990 (Age 19)
Hometown: Detroit, Michigan
Relationships: Brother of Biff and Kenneth Riboflavin.(Youngest). Also an intern at C.R.A.P enterprises as a personal assistant for Matthew Chambers. Love interest of Martin Chambers. Frontman and Keyboardist of Colorblind, a multiracial Jazz cover band.
Info: Noah is the youngest of the Riboflavin brothers. Unlike Biff and Kenny, Noah is highly intelligent, and he was the valedictorian of his graduating class. Upon graduating high school, He began internship at C.R.A.P as the personal assistant for Matthew Chambers. Noah is subjected to verbal abuse from Matthew on a daily basis. He once attempted revenge on Matthew by urinating in his coffee pot, but the prank backfired when Matthew failed to detect that the coffee was tainted. In fact, he enjoyed it, and chalked the change in taste up to a new expensive roast. As a result of this, Noah must urinate in Matthew's coffee pot (without his knowledge) to keep his job. Noah's timid demeanor and unwillingness to stand up for himself often make him the target of pranks around the office. He is also the victim of sexual advances made by Martin Chambers. He has a complicated relationship with Amina Wallace stemming from an incident at a company picnic at which she drunkenly forced Noah into a nearby outdoor storage shed and performed oral sex on him. This causes Martin Chambers to be fiercely jealous of Amina, and it also causes Noah to go to great lengths to avoid Amina all together. Noah is the keyboardist and lead vocalist in a multiracial jazz band named Colorblind with security guards Flynt Cutler and Walter Rice. The band is his true passion, and appears to be the only outlet to happiness he has in his otherwise boring life.
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Crystal Mendoza
Born May 6th, 1986 (Age 24)
Hometown: Los Angeles, California
Relationships: Former secretary for James, current C.R.A.P project manager, possible love interest of Biff Riboflavin.
Info: Crystal is the quiet, sweet, yet bold secretary at C.R.A.P's offices. Crystal comes from a very poor neighborhood, but she never let that deter her in her pursuit of success. She graduated high school at the top of her class and hasn't looked back since. She is currently attending community college right now as well as working at C.R.A.P. Crystal is very organized, neat, and merry, but is known to put pompous employees in their place. In 2010, after four years of hard work as James's secretary, she was promoted to the position of Project Manager, where she sets up and organizes company functions. It is also well known that Biff Riboflavin has a crush on her, and often spreads rumors of them being an item. Since Crystal has never denied the rumors outright, it has been implied that she doesn't mind Biff crushing on her, and in fact likes him herself.
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Amina Wallace
Born June 3rd, 1982 (Age 28)
Hometown: Atlanta, Georgia
Relationships: Secretary for James Chambers at C.R.A.P enterprises (lower level)
Info: Amina is the latest addition to the C.R.A.P family. She was hired recently during James's hiatus from the wrestling industry. She is shown to be a smart, attentive and kind person who is dedicated to her job. It is also well known that she dislikes her co-worker Ashley Tumbleston, because of her prissy attitude and all-around incompetence. She tolerates her for the sake of being professional, but has been quoted as saying "I will cut that bitch if i see her in the streets." Amina is an alcoholic in her personal life, and has been known to drink heavily at company recreational functions. One famous incident occurred when she became severely intoxicated and forced fellatio on Noah Riboflavin at a company picnic. This causes awkwardness in their relationship, both professional and personal. James and the rest of the staff jokingly credit Amina with giving Noah his first taste of "chocolate", without her knowledge of course.
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Ashley Tumbleston
Born March 12th, 1986 (Age 24)
Hometown: Atlanta, Georgia
Relationships: , C.E.O of C.R.A.P enterprises, niece of Rusty Riley (James's retired former manager, boxing coach and longtime friend)
Info: A spoiled, stuck up, immature brat, the only reason Ashley has a job is because of her Uncle. She spends most of her time at work chatting and texting on her phone, and does little to no work. She is virtually disliked by everyone in the building, including James. She leaves early on Fridays without permission, and is rude to everyone she comes across. She is especially cruel to Biff Riboflavin, stemming from an incident at the company's 2008 Christmas party. Biff had become severely intoxicated after drinking an entire bottle of Jagermeister, which caused him to vomit on Ashley's breasts. This incident, combined with the general dislike she attracts, earned Ashley the crude nickname "Puke Tits". Their supposed "animosity" is seemingly one sided, as the infamously chipper Biff appears to have forgotten the incident, and happily greets Ashley everytime he sees her, to which she responds with insults.
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Flynt Cutler (pictured left) & Walter Rice (Pictured Right)
Hometown: Flynt (Chicago, Illinois), Walter (Cleveland, Ohio)
Born May 10, 1979 (Flynt,Age 31), October 12th, 1976 (Walter,Age 34)
Relationships: Lower level security guards at C.R.A.P enterprises. Members of "Colorblind" with Noah Riboflavin.
Info: Best friends since high school, they were both hired at the same time as well. They do sub par work as security guards, and despite their jobs being threatened, they make little effort to improve their performance. They spend most of their time in the break room playing cards and eating other worker's food out of the refrigerator, whether the item is marked or not. They are both talented musicians, who were discovered when Noah Riboflavin had returned to the building after work to retrieve his Ipod, and discovered them playing a Jazz cover of A-ha's "Take On Me". He subsequently recruited them join his multiracial jazz band Colorblind, where Flynt plays the saxophone, and Walter is the drummer.
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Jerry Patterson
Hometown: Gainesville, Georgia
Born January 12th, 1965 (Age 45)
Relationships: Janitor at C.R.A.P
Info: Wise and friendly, Jerry is one of the most trusted and respected employees of the C.R.A.P corporation. For the most part, Jerry is easygoing, but gets agitated when referred to as a Janitor. He considers himself the "Head of Facilities Maintenance " and will not hesitate to correct anyone (including James) who may refer to him as otherwise. Jerry one of the few employees who is kind to Biff Riboflavin (with the exception of his brother Noah) and is often seen reading to Biff and playing connect four with him on their respective lunch breaks. Jerry is known as a counselor of sorts, as many of his coworkers come to him for general advice and moral support. He is very obsessive when it comes to cleanliness and has been known to scold workers who do not clean up after themselves.
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Charlie Chambers
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Born April 6th, 1983 (Age 27)
Relationships: Manager of C.R.A.P's smallest store in Gwinnett County. Brother of James, Martin, Willie, and Derek Chambers. Nephew of Matthew Chambers.
Info: Charlie is the youngest of the Chambers clan. Standing at 5'3", Charlie has a severe little man's complex, which causes him to lash out at people who he feels are taking advantage of him because of his size. He has physically assaulted employees for the smallest infractions, such as forgetting to punch out, or moving his personal step ladder from the location he left it. Despite his violent temper , Charlie has shown very poor fighting skills, and has been physically bested by every employee he has attacked. James is fed up with Charlie, but is unable to bring himself to fire his own brother. Instead, he moved Kevin out to the Gwinnett County location which sees very little customer traffic and only has the need for a handful of employees. Kevin often leaves his lesser intelligent nephew Marcus Chambers (son of Willie) in charge to come down to C.R.A.P enterprises to complain to James about not having a better paying job there like the rest of his brothers.
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Daniel Tan
Hometown: Bayonne, New Jersey
Born February 25th, 1987
Relationships: Friend of Noah Riboflavin, Mail Room employee, bassist of Colorblind.
Info: Nicknamed Dan Tan, He is the bassist of Colorblind and also assists with songwriting. Dan often visits with Noah on his lunch break to discuss performances and plan rehearsals for the band. Dan works downstairs in the mail room with Colorblind's bassist Andy Patel, after being recommended for the job by Noah. He along with Noah, is a target of Martin Chamber's advances. Noah's overbearing boss Matthew Chambers is highly stereotypical when it come to Dan,(he is of Chinese descent) and fears him because he thinks that Dan knows Kung Fu and will assault him. As a result, he refrains from browbeating Noah when Dan is around.
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Anderson Patel
Hometown: Marietta, Georgia by way of Maharashtra, India
Born March 17th, 1988
Relationships: Friend of Noah Riboflavin, Mail Room employee, and Clarinetist of Colorblind.
Info: Anderson, Nicknamed Andy, is the clarinetist of the group. Andy was born in India, but moved to the united states in 1990. His parents signed him up for clarinet lessons in order to help him fit in with his peers. At the recommendation of Noah Riboflavin, Andy, along with Daniel Tan was hired to work in the mailroom at C.R.A.P enterprises. Andy is a bit of a womanizer, and often hits on receptionist Ashley Tumbleston whenever he goes upstairs to visit Noah. He is also very brash and arrogant, and leeches money and food off of Noah whenever he is able to. After learning that Noah received oral sex (albeit against his will) by an inebriated Amina Wallace, Anderson flirts with her heavily hoping for the same result, but is constantly rebuffed. He frequently expresses his love for illegal pharmaceuticals, with vicodin and percocet being among his favorites.
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Marcus Chambers
Born October 12th, 1983 (Age 27)
Hometown: Gadsen, Alabama
Relationships: Nephew of James, Charlie, Martin, and Derek Chambers. Son of Willie Chambers. Great-nephew of Matthew Chambers. Cashier at C.R.A.P's Gwinnett County location.
Info: James’s nephew, a wannabe rapper under the stage name of Thug Nasty Marc who is constantly shopping his new songs to James. He also formerly worked with Biff Riboflavin, whom he often took advantage of at work by bossing him around and unloading the majority of the work on Biff by blowing off his job to smoke pot in the dumpster. After Biff was committed, he had nobody to fall back on, and his poor work performance was exposed. James is fed up both with Marcus and his Uncle Charlie's lack of effort,focus, and discipline, so he assigns them both to the Gwinett County C.R.A.P location where Marcus is a cashier and Charlie is the store manager. The store has very little customer traffic, and there only five other people (including Marcus and Patrick Franklin) who are employed there. As far his music career, Marcus has yet to get a deal, but he did make waves with an independently released album titled I’m Stabbin’ And Slappin’ Somebody tonight which spawned a local hit single titled “Where My Five Dollars At?” featuring the equally untalented Flavor Flav.The song appeared to be popular, once it was discovered that the man rapping on the song was Thug Nasty Marc (Marcus Chambers) and not Soulja Boy, angry fans swarmed to the flea markets where they purchased the CD’s, demanding refunds.
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Patrick Franklin
Born June 16th, 1985 (Age 25)
Hometown: Fresno, California
Relationships: Cashier at C.R.A.P's Gwinnett County location.
Info: A foul mouthed pothead, Patrick is the toadie of Marcus Chambers. Patrick is also very ignorant, obnoxious, and narcissistic. He happens to believe he's god's gift to women, and is known for rudely and loudly propositioning female customers. Along with Marcus and Charlie, he has been moved to the Gwinnett location as a last chance to straighten up and fly right. In his days at C.R.A.P's main stores, he earned the ire of all his coworkers (Except Marcus) for his obnoxious attitude. Even The otherwise easy going Willie Chambers despised him, and once described him as a "Bottom feeding, self absorbed, obnoxious piece of prehistoric frog shit that would easily be trumped by Biff Riboflavin in a battle of wits."
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Kenny "Fortune" Morton
Born October 25th, 1973 (Age 37)
Hometown: South Central, Los Angeles, California
Relationships: Lawyer for C.R.A.P enterprises, personal lawyer for James
Info: A new face on the scene, Kenny "Fortune" Morton is the newly appointed lawyer of all C.R.A.P's legalities, as well as James's personal attorney. Kenny is quick, resourceful,thinks smart and talks fast. Born and raised on the mean streets of South Central, Kenny was destined for greatness. Even at an early age, Kenny showed signs of resourcefulness, creating his own map of the neighborhood and using crayons to mark the most accessible routes to escape from bullies and crackheads when being chased after school.
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