Post by Duke Wallace on Oct 31, 2010 22:17:57 GMT -6
A BRIEF COMMENTARY OF OPPONENTS
by Duke Wallace
by Duke Wallace
Today I want to talk about a curse. It's a curse that few men ever witness, but every man fears. This curse will be place dupon you when you least expect it, and stick with you for the rest of your days. Nothing can break you from it. It's called the Curse of the Cack-Under-Pressure. In the history of our world only two times has someone been stricken with this particular curse. First with the Ottawa Senators, and now with Larsen Van Der Kamp. Here's a man who can deliver a victory against every one of the SWAs brightest stars. Multiple victories over Ian DeTornado, but every time the gold is on the line, the curse hits him. I won't lie and brag and say that Van Der Kamp will be easy for me to beat, but I do want to save the man some embarrassment. Even if you win this battle royal, you already know you'll lose at Sadistic Rage. The gold will be on the line. Why not instead step down from the battle royal, take the night of Sadistic Rage off, and form a support group with the Ottawa Senators.
Bill Dumas. I've never been so happy for anyone else to join SWA. We've had a lot of great stars walk in the doors here. Ian DeTornado, Captain Insnaity, Gabreal Martin, Psycho Dragon, Ultimo Doom, Mr. Kiljoy. But then the great day came when Bill Dumas signed his contract with the SWA. Now I'm on top of the world. For ONCE, I'm not labeled the greatest pathelogical liar in SWA. Thanks for taking the crown my friend. Say hi to Undertaker, Snitsky, Loch Ness, Elvis' ghost and whoever else you beat before. I'm, a big mark for the legends.
Branden Harvey. You are correct. I am your most dangerous opponent. Thanks for recognizing. You showed some real strength taking out Mihail Stelio like you did. But that was one man that you scolded with a burning coffee pot. I've been burned by plenty of burning coffee pots in my days. I had a burning pot of coffee thrown into my face this morning. I had hot acid thrown in my face an hour ago. Not a mark left on me. I was lucky enough to be blessed with a regenerative gene or something like that. Another blessing of being Duke Wallace. And before you all call me a liar like you usually do, let me just ask you this question................ Heard of Bill Dumas' 300-5 career record?
And Hell's Reject. Another foreigner. I'd make the obvious joke about an Asian man training in the middle east obviously being a terrorist, but you admitted that. Only in SWA will a terrorist who thinks he's Spawn fit in. I've never seen you fight, nor have I seen you in person, but your menacing picture has me asking questions. I almost see a resemblance......
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Holy sex change, Reject. Didn't you used to be in Charlie's Angels? Anything to say in response? Anything? Anything?
**Cricket, Cricket, Cricket**
This is one Battle Royal that can make a nobody into a hero in one night. All it will take a few quick but gruesome eliminations, and I'm in a title match for the Extreme Combat Championship. I'm ready for Fever, and ready for Sadistic Rage.