|
|
Post by Sedition: The Rev on Oct 18, 2010 21:34:37 GMT -6
 PRESENTS ________________ **The camera pans across a wind blown field, focusing in on the SWA Headquarters in the middle of a sheep paddock. The camera pans up the the length of the building, a small flock of sheep trot past the camera lens. Suddenly Got Milk? stumbles into the shot as the run around the grassy field. ** Cow #1: Mooooo!Cow #2: Mooooo!**The camera cuts to inside the SWA Headquarters and inside Rev and Gladiators office. Both men are standing side by side looking out the large window. They watch as Got Milk? runs around the field chasing sheep. Gladiator chucks as on of the members of Got Milk? tries to grab the sheep but misses and nearly falls over. Got Milk? splits up and try to corner a sheep, but end up running into each other. Rev face-palms and sighs. ** Rev: What the hell are we going to do those two?Gladiator: I dunno, just leave them out there in the field? They do think they are cows. Rev: No, No. We can't. You heard that lawyer last week. If we don't look after those two idiots there's going to be trouble; expensive-lawyery trouble. Gladiator: Hmm... that sounds expensive and lawyery. ** Both men think for a moment, a brief silence blanketing the room. ** Rev: I've got it! Aiello is always complaining that he's here against his will and we never let him see is family. Gladiator: Yea, so? We kill his family so he can't see them?Rev: Better, we make him Got Milk's babysitter. They're like children and I hear families have children. Gladiator: Families with children? Where did you hear that?Rev: The Internet.Gladiator: Ah, must be true then. Very well then, Joe Aiello is now the offical SWA babysitter. ** Rev and Gladiator turn back to the window to watch Got Milk? just as they managed to catch a sheep. One of the cow's holds the sheep tightly as it struggles to get free. ** Gladiator: You don't think he's going to ....** A look of fright and terror washes over Rev's face. ** Rev: Yep...______________ Live from
WINNIPEG, MANITOBA, CANADA _______________ **It cuts to the back parking lot where a half dozen large, burly Italian men in sunglasses bang on the door. Gladiator opens it a crack and sticks his head our suspiciously.**GLADIATOR: What's the secret password?VINNIE: No passwords. We've come to bring little cousin Joey home.GLADIATOR: Never heard of him.VINNIE: Joey Aiello. Open the door or there will be trouble.GLADIATOR: One second.**After a long pause Gladiator opens the door fully. Vinnie and the other cousins of Joe Aiello start to walk in, but Gladiator stops them.**GLADIATOR: You could come in and retrieve your long lost enslaved cousin............ ORRRRRRR.......... you can accept 6 free passes, courtesy of tonight's sponsors, to Thunder Rapids Fun Park, where you can enjoy Go-Karts, Bumper Boats, Mini Golf and unlimited refreshments at their fabulous concession stand!**Vinnie eyes Gladiator, then the tickets, then Gladiator, then the tickets, then Gladiator, then the tickets. He reaches out and grabs the free passes from Gladiator and puts them in his pocket.**VINNIE: Our business here is done, boys.__________________ **It cuts back to ringside, where Joe Aiello's lip quivers and a single tear rolls down his cheek.**SKIPPY: That's a shame your family deserted you, but you gotta admit, Bumper Boats sounds like a blast.JOE: I'm going to die in this place.SKIPPY: Please wait until the show is over.------------------------------
MAIN EVENT
TRIPLE THREAT – NON TITLE MATCH
IAN DETORNADO
-vs-
WAYLON HAWTHORNE
-vs-
CHIP PEKURNY
EXTREME COMBAT – NON TITLE MATCH
TEEN THROB
-vs-
BILL DUMAS
FANS CONTRIBUTE THE WEAPONS MATCH
BRANDEN HARVEY
-vs-
MIHAIL STELIO
------------------------------ JOE: Fans contribute the weapons match? Will someone toss a dagger my way so I can end my misery now?SKIPPY: There, there. Just remember, any daggers are for the use and pleasure of Branden Harvey and Mihail Stelio.Branden Harvey -vs- Mihail Stelio  "Fuel by Metallica hits the speakers. Suddenly, "Supersonic" Branden Harvey comes riding in on a cable. As he reaches the ring, he does a backflip off the cable and lands in the ring. VIRGIL: Holy Evil Knievel entrance! Introducing first, from Sacramento, California. Standing 5 feet and 8 inches, and weighing a near anorexic 140 pounds, this is “Supersonic” Branden Harvey!!!Thunder Kiss 65 intro starts to play. Smoke Screen goes off as the song starts out. Mihail Stelio enters to fireworks as fire works go off as he flexes. Mihail pound his Chest then he jogs to the ring slapping high fives to the fans as he slides in under the ropes raising his arm in the air. VIRGIL: And his opponent, from Athens, Greece. He towers at 6 feet and 6 inches and weights 276 pounds. Doing his best impression of a solid brick wall, this is Mihail Stelio!!!The bell rings and the ref dives for cover. Stelio and Harvey each run to a corner with their hands raised in the air waiting for a weapon to be thrown in from the fans. JOE: Remember this is fans contribute the weapons, so whatever these guys catch they can use.All over the arena fans are throwing foreign objects from their seats. Unfortunately most of them are nowhere near close enough to actually reach the wrestlers, so they just end up pelting other fans. Mihail Stelio reaches out and manages to catch a baseball bat thrown from a fan in the floor seats. He climbs off the turnbuckle and races tothe opposite corner to attack Branden Harvey. In his corner, Harvey catches something thrown to him too. Unfortunate for him it's nothing more than a fork. He jumps down and sees a much larger Stelio charging at him with a baseball bat. Harvey looks at his fork and prepares for impact. SKIPPY: I have a bad feeling about this.Stelio has the bat raised over his head and he brings it down toward Harvey. Harvey drops to his hands and knees and Stelio hits the corner post with enough force to crack the wooden bat in two pieces. Harvey somersaults out of the way as Stelio turns around with his broken. Bat. He turns around and takes another couple of swings at Harvey, who uses his agility to dodge each hit. As Harvey ducks one of Stelio's swings the bat brushes over his head fast enough for the “whoosh” sound to be heard all over the arena. JOE: Harvey had better think of something to do with that fork fast. He's at a huge size disadvantage here. Mihail Stelio is 10 inches taller than Harvey and just 4 pounds shy of doubling his weight.SKIPPY: It's like watching Bruce Banner battling The Incredible Hulk in there.As Stelio tries to bring the bat down on Harvey again, Harvey takes the fork and stabs it into Stelio's thigh. Stelio almost loses his balance with this. He steps back momentarily but then approaches Harvey again, with the fork still in his leg.[/color] JOE: Find a weapon, Branden.Branden climbs up to the top rope to flee his larger opponent. He calls out to the fans for a weapon, but they boo him and throw everything they have at Stelio.[/color] SKIPPY: I guess when the fans are in charge of providing the weapons, you're at a huge disadvantage for being the more unpopular guy.As Branden desperately tries to grab anything that comes his way, Stelio has ditched his bat and called for the fans to throw something else in the ring. Several weapons fly through the air and land on the mat. Steel chains, glass pitchers, butcher knives, an iPad. Mihail Stelio catches a lamp in his hands and run toward Harvey in the corner. Harvey is about to brace himself for being hit when suddenly Stelio stops in his tracks. A flying tricycle thrown from some fan hits him in the back of the head. Stelio's eyes roll back into his head and he falls face first on the mat. JOE: This is supposed to be fans contribute the weapons, not fans knock the wrestlers out by throwing tricycles.SKIPPY: It's interactive sports entertainment.Harvey steps down off the top rope and dodges tons of weapons being thrown at him now. Bricks, blenders, more iPads, even hypodermic needles litter the ring. Harvey is covering his head to protect himself. The barrage of weapons flying into the ring makes it hard for Harvey to make his way over to Stelio. Now Mihail Stelio is starting to stand up. He starts to come around. Harvey raises his hands in the air getting ready to grab anything that comes his way. A full coffee pot lands in both hands. JOE: Skippy! I was going to drink that!Harvey almost drops the full coffee pot as it's still boiling hot. He grabs it by the handle and cracks it open over Stelio's head. Stelio lets out a terrifying shriek as his face is burned by the hot coffee. Harvey reaches down and picks up an aerosol can of Lysol off the mat. Harvey points it at Stelio and sprays him directly in the eye with the lysol. Stelio shrieks some more and stumbles around blindly. Harvey then climbs to the top turnbuckle and waits for Stelio to stumble closer to him. Stelio slips on all the weapons scattered all over the mat and falls on his back. Harvey jumps off the top turnbuckle and executes a 630 Splash. He has Stelio covered. The ref slides back into the ring wearing a helmet and pads. He counts Stelio down. 1... 2... 3!!! VIRGIL: Your winner, by the first ever spray of lysol to the eyes followed up by a 630 Splash, Branden Harvey!!!JOE: Big win for Harvey here. He just took down a man almost twice his size.SKIPPY: With a little help from yours truly.JOE: Yeah, thanks for that by the way. I haven't slept in days because I'm sharing living accommodations with Chip Pekurny's new pet Rottweiler. I needed that coffee to stay alert for the rest of the show.SKIPPY: There were plenty of hypodermic needles thrown this way. One of them is bound to have a shot of adrenaline.JOE: No thanks. That wasn't just a big win for Harvey, beating a much larger opponent, but he completely dominated Stelio. Next up we'll see if Bill Dumas can live up to his hype. He takes on Teen Throb after this break._______________________ |
|
|
|
Post by Sedition: The Rev on Oct 18, 2010 22:08:36 GMT -6
JOE: We are back, and if you've been watching SWA TV over the last couple of weeks.SKIPPY: I prefer the Playboy channel.JOE: Yes, but you aren't our fans.SKIPPY: Our fans prefer the Playboy channel.JOE: That may be so, but I'm talking about OUR show. Just shut up and let me talk. So if you've been watching SWA TV for the last couple of weeks, you'll know that "The American Crippler" Gen. Bill Dumas has been calling out the Extreme Combat Champion Teen Throb every chance he gets. Now Teen Throb has accepted his challenge, and this Non-Title match will prove once and for all if Dumas is in the same league as our pop star EC Champ.SKIPPY: Those two things generally don't go together.JOE: Nor do respected Italian broadcasters and retarded men in Cow suits, but here they sit again. I told you to get out of here! I'm busy!COW #1: Moooooooooo.COW #2: Moooooo???JOE: Go away! This is getting ridiculous. Lets get to the match.Teen Throb -vs- Bill Dumas  As the opening harmonies from Watch Out's song Babe You Know You Want Me begin, every man in the arena groans. The girls, at least those under the age of 30 all scream. Teen Throb's pretty ol' face flashes on the big screen and he dances down the aisle in traditional boy band fashion. Halfway down the aisle Bill Dumas appears at the entrance way and charges at Teen Throb, hitting him from behind. SKIPPY: What's Dumas doing there?JOE: Uh..... he's booked in the match you moron. He just wanted to get the jump on Teen Throb.Teen Throb stumbles to the bottom of the ramp before he gets his balance back. The referee calls for the bell. Teen Throb turns and catches Dumas with a right hook causing him to step back. Teen Throb kicks Dumas in the stomach and DDT's him to the concrete floor. Dumas starts to crawl towards the ring. He starts to reach under the ring but Teen Throb stomps on his hand and kicks him in the ribs. Teen Throb reaches under the ring and pulls out a trash can full of objects. He sets the can aside and reaches back under the ring, sliding out a table. SKIPPY: I wonder what's in the trash can?JOE: Everything our crew sweeped out of the ring after the last match.Before Teen Throb has a chance to setup the table Dumas is back to his feet and grabs Teen Throb. Dumas whips Teen Throb against the barricade and begins to root through the trash can of objects. Dumas pulls out a wrench and tosses it at Teen Throb. Teen Throb ducks and the wrench hits a fan in the head. JOE: As if enough of these fans weren't hurt by flying objects in the last match.JOE: This is SWA. Fans feel the same pain as the wrestlers. It's part of that new interactive sports entertainment thing I was talking about.Teen Throb spears Dumas to the floor and pummels him with a series of lefts and rights before getting up and sliding the table into the ring. Teen Throb dumps the contents of the garbage can onto the ground. Dumas starts to get back up, only to be hit over the head with the trash can. Teen Throb grabs Dumas and rolls him into the ring. Before getting in the ring Teen Throb picks up a street sign, cookie sheet and a golf putter from the ground. JOE: Because any logical person would show up to a wrestling event with a golf club.Dumas is prepared for Teen Throb and hits him with a clothesline as soon as he enters the ring. Dumas pulls Teen Throb to his feet and grapples with him but Teen Throb manages to gain the upper hand and delivers a belly-to-belly suplex. Dumas is quick to get back to his feet. Dumas charges at Teen Throb; Teen Throb grabs the cookie sheet and swings it with all his might, a loud thud as it connects with the head of Bill Dumas. Dumas stops and staggers backwards as Teen Throb drops the bent cookie sheet and picks up the putter. Teen Throb swings the club and hits Dumas in the back of the knee. Dumas drops to the mat on his knees. Teen Throb bounces off the ropes and hits Dumas with a drop kick. Once back on feet Teen Throb sets up the table in the corner. Dumas is slow to get to his feet. Teen Throb grabs him and Irish whips him into the corner, against the table. The table doesn't break as Dumas slams against it. Teen Throb bashes Dumas' face into the table repeatedly before turning him around and whipping him into the opposite corner. Dumas hits the turnbuckle and and staggers back. Teen Throb grabs him and suplexes him through the table. JOE: All I can say is, at least it wasn't the broadcast table for once.Dumas lays in the rubble of the table as Teen Throb picks up the putter again. He holds the putter like he's golfing, making little practice swings. He stands over Dumas, and pulls back the putter, swinging it hard, hitting Dumas in the groin. Dumas curls up into the fetal position. SKIPPY: Now that's not right. I mean seriously. I can't bare to watch.Teen Throb slides out of the ring and fishes under the ring for another table. Teen Throb extracts the table and slides it into the ring. He sets up the table in the middle of the ring and picks Dumas up, tossing him onto the table top. Teen Throb climbs to the top of the nearby turnbuckle and hits a Pretty Boy Splash through the table. Teen Throb makes the cover. The referee brushes some wood splinters out of the way and makes the count. 1... 2... 3. Winner: Teen Throb. JOE: Bill Dumas bit off more than he could chew this week. Teen Throb wins.SKIPPY: IS it really necessary to say that? I mean if anyone is watching they already saw the outcome themselves.COW #1: Moo mooo mooooooo.JOE: That's enough of that. I didn't ask for this babysitting job, and I don't want it. Is there nobody else to take these idiots?SKIPPY: Have a heart. These boys....... or cows lost their mentor and friend.JOE: Well someone resurrect Captain Insanity so they'll leave me alone.COW #2: Mooo moo moo!!!!JOE: Our main event will be up next.________________ (We open up backstage to see Michael Saint speaking to Larsen Van Der Kamp about something that we do not hear as Gabreal Martin walks up to them with an unhappy look on his face.) Gabe: So this is how it is going to be huh?Saint: Can I help you?Gabe: You sure can. How about not getting involved in my shit ever again.Saint: What?Gabe: You know what. My match with Ian last Fever you two must have had this going on for a while. You knew I would get my shot eventually and Saint you had Larsen cost me the match. I should be SWA Champion right now.
Larsen: Obviously you shouldn't, because you aren't. Gabe: And it is your fault you prick. You cost me that match and you Saint must have had something to do with it.Saint: Do you really think I would do that?Gabe: I have known you long enough to know what you are capable of. You do not want me to be champion, because it would prove that I can do what you never did win a belt in SWA.Saint: I will not deny that I hope you never hold a belt here, but I did not make Larsen do anything. I did not suggest he do anything either he acted on his own.
Gabe: Just shut up! You are both jealous of me and my skill.
Larsen: For what it is worth I did act on my own. Saint and I share a hatred for you, but I decided that I would give you the payback you deserved last show.Gabe: It is not my fault you are a choke artist Larsen. I am above you and that makes you jealous. You want what I have the support of The Sedition and the talent to get whatever I want in this federation. Larsen: You got jack shit. You say you are so much better, but I still do not see you willing to give me what I want and that is a match with you.Gabe: I should lay you out right now to teach you a lesson in respect.Larsen: You feel froggy jump, because I have waited a long time to get my hands on you Gabe.(Gabe gets nose to nose with Larsen and laughs.) Gabe: You know what. You are not even worth it. I have nothing to prove against either of you two.(Gabe walks away.)
Larsen: Thought he would actually do something.Saint: He is a coward and a blowhard. You acting on your own like that got under his skin, but he knows going after you is not the best idea.Larsen: I guess I will just have to take this a little further then.________________ JOE: For a second there I thought Gabreal would actually step up like a man and finally give Van Der Kamp the fight he's been begging for.SKIPPY: Gabreal doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. He should be the SWA Champion right now. We all saw how he got screwed last week.JOE: Yes.... and we all saw something totally different from you. Gabreal was no match for Ian DeTornado, and he'll be no match for Van Der Kamp either. I have a feeling Van Der Kamp will get his shot at The Chosen One very soon.SKIPPY: Only if Gabreal gets a return match against Tornado first.JOE: He's already had his shot. Multiple shots. It's time for him to move on. Speaking of Ian DeTornado, his belt may not be on the line, but his winning streak still is tonight. He's about to take on both crazy old man Waylon Hawthorne and financial advisor Chip Pekurny. This is our main event of the evening.___________________ TO BE CONTINUED....
|
|
|
|
Post by Sedition: Gladiator on Oct 19, 2010 14:32:26 GMT -6
"Geriatric" Waylon Hawthorne -vs- Ian De Tornado -vs CHIP PEKURNY!   The Theme music from Dallas plays and the crowd boos. CHIP PEKURNY walks down the aisle dressed in his usually wrestling gear, gym shorts and a sweater vest. CHIP hands out business cards on his way down to the ring. He rolls into the ring and tosses the remaining cards out to the crowd. VIRGIL: Introducing First, Hailing from New Haven, Connecticut, weighing in at 210 lbs, CHIP PEKURNY!!!“The Last Saskatchewan Pirate” begins to play. Waylon walks out onto the stage and flexes his saggy old man muscles. Waylon walks down the aisle. About halfway to the ring he seems to forget what he’s doing. He looks around and sees the ring and suddenly remembers what he’s supposed to do. He climbs up onto the apron and steps through the ropes. He stands in the middle of the ring and does a dopey old man dance. VIRGIL: Introducing next, hailing from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, weighing in at 245 lbs, "GERIATRIC" WAYLON HAWTHORNE!!!As the intro of his Theme song (The Man from Manila) plays through the P.A., Red and Blue smoke effects covers the entrance stage... Then from the middle of the smoke a (Philippine infamous) jeepney will drive from the entrance to the middle of the ramp. then upon reaching the middle of the ramp, ianzky will jump off from the driver's seat and will climb the ring post, point to the audience before doing a back flip towards the middle of the ring. VIRGIL: And their opponent, hailing from Manila, Philippines, weighing in at 180 lbs, He is the current SWA Champion, IAN DETORNADO!!!All three men step to the center of the ring and stare each other down. Hawthorne looks at Chip and slaps him across the face. Chip slaps him back. Hawthorne grabs Chip by the head and starts to headbutt him, but Tornado hits him in the back with a Front Dropkick. Hawthorne stumbles forward and falls on top of Tornado. As Hawthorne gets up on his feet runs at the ropes, he springboards back with a Moonsault. Hawthorne catches him and executes a Running Powerslam. Hawthorne goes for the early cover, 1... 2... Tornado gets his shoulder up. Chip picks Hawthorne up and whips him off the ropes. Chip ducks down for a Back Body Drop, but Hawthorne catches him with a knee to the face. Chip stumbles backwards into Tornado's arms. Tornado tosses Chip back with a Release German Suplex. Chip hits the mat hard and rolls out of the ring. Tornado goes to the ropes and prepares to go after him, but Hawthorne comes from behind and rolls him up with a Schoolboy pin attempt, 1... 2... Tornado kicks out. AIELLO: Old man Hawthorne seems determined to put Tornado away early.SKIPPY: Of course he wants the match done early. He's probably way over due to take his arthritis medication.As Chip regroups on the outside he notices a fan reading the stock section of the newspaper. Chip rips the paper out of the fans hands and begins to read. Hawthorne picks Tornado up and tosses him to the corner. Tornado hits the corner hard. Hawthorne charges towards him and hits him with a Charging Shoulder Block. Tornado nearly falls forward, but Hawthorne sets him back up in the corner. Hawthorne climbs up on the second rope and delivers a Monkey Flip. Tornado gets up on his feet dazed. He runs towards Hawthorne, but Hawthorne catches him with a Hip Toss. Tornado lands on his butt. Hawthorne runs at him from behind and catches him with a Snapmare. Hawthorne bounces off the ropes and drops down on Tornado's head with a Knee Drop. Hawthorne goes for the cover, 1... 2... Tornado kicks out. AIELLO: You are witnessing old school wrestling at it's finest here.SKIPPY: That's right, nobody does old like Waylon Hawthorne.Hawthorne picks Tornado up and places him on the top turnbuckle. Hawthorne climbs up to the top and sets him up for a Superplex. As Hawthorne prepares to lift Tornado up he gets a back cramp. Hawthorne climbs off the top rope and clutches his back. Tornado stands up on the top rope and leaps off. He nails Hawthorne with a Corkscrew Cross Body Block. Tornado gets up on his feet and leaps up to the top rope again. He dives off and drops down on Hawthorne with a Moonsault. Tornado goes for the cover, 1... 2... Hawthorne kicks out. On the outside of the ring Chip gets excited about something he sees in the stock section of the newspaper. He swipes a cellphone from a young kid trying to take a picture and dials a number. He holds the phone to his ear and begins to talk. AIELLO: It's nice to see Chip Pekurny has the time to make a business call in the middle of a match he is supposed to be competing in.SKIPPY: Easy Joe, Chip makes the financial deals that pay your salary.AIELLO: I don't get a salary. I'm being held here against my will.SKIPPY: Fine, he makes the deals that pay my salary then.Tornado picks Hawthorne up and whips him off the ropes. Hawthorne rebounds off the ropes and Tornado prepares for a Clothesline, but Hawthorne ducks it. He rebounds off the ropes again and prepares for a Spear, but Tornado Leapfrogs over him. Hawthorne rebounds off the ropes one more time. Both men take the other out with a Clothesline. Both men lie on the mat and slowly get up on their feet. They raise their fists and prepare to fight, but they both notice Chip outside the ring talking on the phone. Tornado and Hawthorne exchange a look and a nod. Tornado and Hawthorne go out opposite sides of the ring and surround Chip, who is deeply immersed in his conversation. Tornado and Hawthorne close in on him and he notices them. Chip drops the phone and slides into the ring. Tornado and Hawthorne go after him. Chip tries to escape again, but Tornado grabs him by the hair. He hits Chip with a hard punch to the head. Chip spins around, but gets hit by a headbutt from Hawthorne. Chip spins around again and Tornado hits him with a chop to the chest. Chip spins around again and Hawthorne bites his nose. AIELLO: Well, there's nothing old school about that move.SKIPPY: I told you, he's probably just getting cranky cause he's overdue to take his meds.Chip pulls away from Hawthorne and is now bleeding from the nose. He stumbles into the arms of Tornado who delivers a Full Nelson Slam. Hawthorne picks Chip up and whips him off the ropes. Hawthorne and Tornado link arms and hit Chip with a Double Clothesline. Tornado jumps up to the top rope. He jumps off and drops down on Chip with the TORNADOSSAULT. Hawthorne bounces off the ropes and drops down on Chip with the OLD SCHOOL CRUNCH. Hawthorne looks at Tornado. He holds his hand up in the air for a high five. Tornado prepares to slap his hand, but instead he kicks Hawthorne in the gut. Tornado grabs Hawthorne by the head and launches him to the outside of the ring. Tornado covers Chip, 1... 2... 3!!! VIRGIL: Here is your winner, The SWA Champion IAN DETORNADO!!!AIELLO: Well there you have it fans. Ian DeTornado picks up the win in our main event this evening.SKIPPY: I think Chip Pekurny was cheated out of that match.AIELLO: How do you figure?SKIPPY: It is rude to interrupt a man as he's conducting business.AIELLO: It's rude to hide outside the ring reading a newspaper when you're supposed to be fighting.SKIPPY: That's it! Security, take Mr. Aiello back to his cage. Make sure to lock Got Milk in with him.AIELLO: Noooooooo! Tell my family I love them and I'll see them soon... I hope.**Security guards cuff Joe Aiello and drag him away kicking and screaming as Sunday Night Fever goes off the air.** Copyright: 2010 Sedition Production _________________________ Harvey vs Stelio written by RevDumas vs Teen Throb written by TaylorTornado vs Hawthorne vs Pekurny written by Gladiator |
|
