Me against all jokes and losers

[Ian DeTornado]

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ME AGAINST ALL JOKES AND LOSERS!!!

Detornado vs. Hawthorne vs. Chip?

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October 13, 2010 - Wood Acres Retirement Home



VOICEOVER:

9:00 am - The entire FCK radio squad arrived at the Wood Acres for their yearly “Early XMAS for the forgotten ones” program – it is a medical and social mission for the senior citizen that serves as FCK’s advocacy.



The Radio squad members are seen on the screen carrying some boxes that contains medicine and some stuffs to give away to the Retirement home’s residents. The old residents who were all in gray hairs are starting to fall in line for the medical mission. The Nurses are starting to do their job, like getting their blood pressure, sugar level and so on.



We see Ian DeTornado and Jeanna talking to the Retirement home’s personnel.



DeTornado: Hey man! How are the oldies doing?





Personnel: They are all on good condition!... except for the one you know… We’re good because of your full support! Thank you very much sir, madam!



Jeanna: Oh! It’s okay! No problem! Giving some little care to those folks is our advocacy, and we enjoy doing it!





DeTornado: Enjoy? How?





Jeanna pulled DeTornado’s hair and whispered on him



Jeanna: Shut up! Our station needs to have good publicity and not the bad one… so you better be nice!





DeTornado: But doing this things makes me some kind of boring! The old folks bored me to no end!





Jeanna: Stop being selfish Ian, look… you are the SWA Undisputed champ, and you represents the people as you said, so you better act like a champion and a good man!





DeTornado; okay… as you said! But wait… I thought that Mr. “Geriatric” Waylon Hawthorne is also one of the residents here… where the hell is he?





DeTornado starts rolling his eyes



Personnel: Oh Mr. DeTornado… Mr. Hawthrone was been in the bad mood lately… He doesn’t want to mingle with other people.





DeTornado shakes his shoulder, and said…





DeTornado: maybe because of arthritis is bothering him again?



The personnel smiles and reply…



Personnel: Oh yes! He’s been suffering a chronic arthritis lately! He can’t barely walk nor stand up from his bed!



DeTornado flashes some evil smirk



DeTornado: Oh man! I feel so pity at him! Oh shit! We are opponents on the next card of Fever! How could he fight on that condition? The SWA doesn’t have enough and trained medical personnel… I hate to see him on a tragic ending! He was my idol after all!



Wait!!! I got an idea! How about if I end the match early just to save his life, I have to pin him before 2 minutes mark!





DeTormado laughs like a devil, before being stopped by Jeanna’s word;





Jeanna: it will never happen!







DeTornado: Why not? He’s too old and slow, and I am too fast and young, I could beat him anytime I want!





Jeanna: Remember, It was scheduled as Triple Threat match and you still have the Sedition’s Financial advisor named CHIP as an opponent!





DeTornado: Who? Chip? Who cares about Chip? Nobody cares about Chip? He’s nothing but a lucky shit! Being pitted against a asshole like him is an insult for both of me and Grad Pa Hawthrone.. and even to everyone! That loser doesn’t deserve to be in the main event… He should be pitted against another loser named Bill Dumas on untelevised dark match, for nobody wants to see the both of them, they are just a waste of time, just like Teen Throb would waste his time on his next match against Bill! I and T-Throb might teach both Chip and Bill a lesson,for them to know where they are should be… they are not in our level!





Jeanna: okay as you said! I can see The sedition is just insulting you by booking you against Hawthrone and Chip… after beating Van Der Kamp and Gabriel Martin.. Who else could stop you? No one!





DeTornado: that’s true! Nobody could stop me, not even that masked idiot named Psycho Dragon… When the SWA Title is on the line, I always transformed into untouchable fighter!





Jeanna: As I can see, PsyDrag was no-show for a month now... maybe he’s doing his unusual useless training right now, while I still never saw you picking a gym bag with you!





DeTornado: For he need it just to have a chance against me, so I advice Hawthrone and Chip to train for some conditioning if they want to make our useless match longer…



Jeanna, actually, I am planning to visit Coach Freddie Roach at the Wild Card gym for my championship game plan after this stupid medical mission





Jeanna: Freddie Roach? are you sure? He’s not in the states right now; He’s in the Philippines, training with Manny Pacquiao for a match against Margarito on November!



DeTornado: Oh really? Maybe I should follow him to the Philippines; it would be my chance to train with the Pound for Pound King… training with the Pac-man would boost my fighting capabilities! Wait Jeanna, I am so excited about this… I think I should go now to pack my bag!





Jeanna: But you still have a match on Sunday!





DeTornado: Oh yes…. Okay I will pack my things up to be ready after my match on Sunday, you better prepare your passport for we are going Home at the Philippines after my match on Sunday midnight!





Jeanna: That’s sound great! I could see the white beaches of Boracay and underwater wonders of Palawan now!



DeTornado: If we will have a time, why not!



DeTornado hop in to his red Masda RX and drove away.

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7:30 Pm – FCK Radio Station

"THE SOUNDS OF THE TROPICAL TORNADO”

season 2 epesode 2

Ianzky wore his headset, plugged his microphone and waited for the tech person’s cue…



… and finally…



He’s ON AIR…



“Wind of Change – emergency siren Remix” was played at the background, and then a familiar voice turned to talk and said…



DeTornado: Good Evening Hollywood, and Good evening world! Your radio is not defective.. it’s just me, I am Ian DeTornado and you’re tuning in to the best radio of all time… “THE SOUNDS OF THE TROPICAL TORNADO”



Yah Kumpadres! You hear it right…. This is the defective radio on its finest,

And I, as your defective DJ will serve you with fresh music, and fresh rumors regarding both music and Pro wrestling industry…



Last week’s episode of Sunday Night Fever, I faced and shut down one of the biggest Joke of SWA, the Sedition’s chosen parasite named as “Gay-briel Martin”…. I did beat him even before his gorgeous bitch interfere to screw me up… but I think the odd couple forgot that there are still eyes staring on them for revenge…. So we got the equalizer named as Larsen Ven der Kamp… I don’t need to thanks Larsen for lending me a hand, for I know and everybody knows that the said occasion served him well also… But I would wish him good luck for his possible quest for the Extreme Combat championship!... finally you had found the belt of yours!

Speaking of the Sedition… I heard that Rev and Gladiator re-signed their Lesbian wonder, Dr. Amy Rosen! I think that they were desperate enough to stop my meteoric rise to either legend’s league or hall of fame… So they got a legend? Whatever! I would turn that lesbian Doctora into real woman once he cross path with me… So I advice the sedition to better stop trying to stop and screw me, for they will fail and fail every time they will try… They better leave me alone with my Undisputed Title, for I’ll gonna hold this forever! Anyone who tried to stop me just turned into a loser!!



B-T-W… Our tonight’s episode is entitled as “Me against all JOKES and LOSERS”!!!



And guess what, after we utilized the twitter on our last episodes… Finally our fans from our Facebook fan page would have the time to be heard!!!



But before that let me play a special song for you…. Here’s the International Singing Sensation, The New Pop princess, the Philippines’ Pride!

Charice!

In her GLEE performance of the song “Listen”



DeTornado plays the said song on his audio bed, and followed it with some advertisements.



Just Like the song… My next opponents should be listening carefully right now, for them to have an idea on what would possibly happen to them after our match…. Yeah that’s why this radio show is so hit, even my enemies need to listen to it! ayt?



Speaking of the Title of our show “Me against all Jokes and Losers”…. I would face both of Joke and loser on the next card of Fever….



I would face the Unlegendary Old fart named Waylon Hawthorne…

And the Sedition’s Weapon of corruption… the Number one loser of SWA! Chip Pickurney!



So it is time to read some comments and question on our facebook page…. And this one is from Mike Smith and I quote:



“Hey champ! I heard that you will face a SWA Original, “Geriatric” Waylon Hawthorne! Now…How would you prepare against this legendary wrestler”





First of all, we Filipinos got special values for the old people, we since young are taught to honor and respect them…. But the question is, how you would respect a person like Mr. Hawthrone… This Old Dumb ass never act on his age, he looks like a 7 years old brat child! Okay let just said it is because of the so called Alzheimer’s disease! Fuck the what! What’s going on to the SWA, First I faced an Amnesiac, now a Alzheimer patient? Darn it! I need to put him back to retirement before everyone get laugh against the SWA! The roster is now filled by abnormal people!



Back to the question…. How would I prepare? Do I need to prepare? Look I just beat the top dogs of SWA, like Gaybriel martin, the person who Waylon can’t beat… I can see that he used to be one of the greatest on his prime, but Mr. Hawthrone? Welcome to the 21st century, and this is not your era anymore... this era is mine! I know that you been the SWA TV Champ sometimes ago... is that the Championship Belt made of cardboard? Yes that is right… you been a fighter for some decades, but the only achievement you can is to become a paper champ! How funny is that! That what an immature person can get!

I heard before that You wanted to teach me how to become a true champ… but guess what it will turned to be that I would be the one to teach you a lesson on how to act on your age!

How can you teach me a lesson, if you can’t even beat a dumb loser like Gabe Martin, you can’t even score a win against anyone? You are always left beaten with malfunctioning joints and cartilage… darn Arthritis!

Look people, how a worn out legend who is so very slow and fragile and suffering some sort of Parkinson’s disease could have a chance against me? On my speed… how can he land a strike against me? Or how can he dodge my speedy blows?

The only preparation I need is to learn how to defeat him while avoiding crashing his brittle bones… but that would be hard! Look, he calls himself as Geriatric one… Geriatric means needs of some special care, according to my Filipino – English Dictionary… I am sorry, for I can’t promise a special care for you, but I will try! I hope that his family had afforded him a memorial plan or something! For I can promise his wellness or his life! I know I shouldn’t take this fight seriously, but this is business… I earn for this! This is my source of income! And every fighter needs to make an impact every before a PPV championship match! I am sorry grand Pa for I need to put you on the shelves! You shouldn’t sign this match! You can do your funny jokes and antic until before fight, because on our match, there would be no joke anymore… I will kill all jokes!



But I got good news for yo! I got a kind heart for oldies like you, so I opened a hotline just for you… for those people who wants to help you after the tragic things that would happen to you after the match!



For those people who have good hearts like me, and wants to donate anything, like cash, blood, or wheel chair, or even casket, new or second hand… a piece of memorial lot… and so on,





Just dial 1908-1-GERIATRIC-BURIAL, that is 1908-1-4374282-287425…



send anything you can send here at FCK Radio station, Lost Angeles, California, and Mr Hawthrone would be happy to accept that! Rest In Peace “Geriatric” Waylon Hawthorne! We will miss you!... oh wait… he ain’t dead, he’s still alive sorry!



By the way, let me play the next track… we got Ke$ha here with her number on song… “Tic Toc”…



DeTornado Played the said song and usual follow up with some commercial break.



DeTornado: it is time to read our next comment… and it is form Daniel Maxwell and he said:“



Hey champ! I heard that you are booked against the Sedition’s Financial Adviser… now you finally have a chance to revenge against your unpaid salary issue! LOL”



Yeah Daniel… that is right… This would be revenge… I know that Chip Pickurny is not on my level, but I have to take this very seriously… he will pay for the corruption he is currently doing with The Rev and Gladiator! Chip has been doing the hocus focus thing on every SWA Employees’ pay slip… we suffered for those shit you did… but you’ll be paying it on Sunday… as I beat you down like your trouser dog that had been flatted by PsyDrag’s tires…



Finally, you would have the chance to have a little reunion with your worthless dog!



Just like your dog, you are nothing but a worthless clumsy kid… you don’t belong to the SWA roster… you are nothing but a rotten meat! I just can imagine how a guy like you that can’t even win any fight was booked against me… That’s stupid!



If you can't even win on the undercard match against other losers, how would you have a chance to stay long on our match? No chance at all! Not even 1 percent! This is stupid! This is insane! What the fuck that since I was been a champ, I’d been facing these stupid persons every time...





Look Chip… this wouldn’t be a easy fight for you… Here you wouldn’t analyze the stock market or the exchange rate… the SWA Ring is for the real Big Boys… for the real warrior, and it doesn’t have some space for a poser like you… for I’ll be taking it personal… for those dollar that you illegally took from my paycheck… for those 5 star hotel accommodations that supposedly gave to the rosters and not to your friends and family!





For On Sunday I’ll kill the crocodile inside you! I will destroy a theft, a swindler! First the advisor next would be the bosses!



You would need tons of luck to survive on this match… you would need rounds of prayer to get through this, that is if angel and saints would still listen to you after all of your sins…



I remind you that you'll be facing the undisputed champ, and not the another chicken-poser-loser named Payne... so it means that you won't have the "Give me Lucky count out win" on sunday... for I will not allow any jokes from you and mr Hawthrone anymore... If pitting you against me is another ScrewBlow Job tactics by our bosses - Sedition... well I am ready for that... Surely, that would be another epic fail that every kid of world will love to laugh as they surf in their internet and watching the Sedition Chanel at Youtube! that would be a hit! I wonder if you earn from these failures and humiliations!!!



I just can't get it... why did the sedition filled their stable with such kinds of losers and chicken jobber jokes just like you, Gay-briel Martin, Dr. Kazegawe~What?, the vanished Kid Can-a-Bitch, the Lesbian Mad scientist Amy rosen, and so on... that's why every time I heard the name of the stable Sedition, I can't help but to laugh... Sedition just represents Jokes and Losers... as Mr. Hawthrone always said... Darn it kid!!!!



So get ready to put another “L” on your SWA Record Chip, and not only that, there’s something more… I’ll give you the pain that you never felt before… I’ll put your skinny ass to a spin that will change everything in your life… that is if you still got some life after the match!

I’ll shutdown your stupidity… your glutton belly… I hope that your dollars would help you on our match!

I won't stop you on your mission to add another humiliation in the Sedition Business portfolio!!! That's your mission isn't it!!!

Happy bankruptcy Mr. Chip Pikurney! I hope you the worst in your businesses... This is no joke.. I mean it , rich kid?

Now, you would weep not for your dog anymore, but for your self! How would you like it boy? ahaha *Laugh



Match against these Losers and Jokes is not bad at all… I’ll take it as warm up for my upcoming title match! Thanks God I am blessed with not just one but two punching bag or training dummies!!!



So Mr. Hawthrone and Mr. Pekurny! I had said it before, and I'll say it again, but please take this as a warning but not a threat...



"Brace yourselves, for you'll be flying home butt naked " ahahaha *laugh

Oh my God My evil other self is awaking! Damn it!



Ladies and gentlemen, That all we got for tonight,

so until next time,

same time, same wrecked station…

I am the king of defective programming… Ianzky,

Saying goodnight and signing off…



Ianzky took his headset and microphone off before taking the can of beer at his table, he walked out of the DJ booth as the scene faded to black

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