Off Air

[Ian DeTornado]

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Off Air :
“ Wasting time”
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August 30, 2010 – Fontainebleau Resort, Miami, Florida.

The Scene opens with a window, overlooking the beautiful view of The Miami beach.

The camera panned through the room, to a bed where Ian DeTornado lying with his championship belt and some bottles of liquor.
J
ust like a Dramatic TV series or movie scene, DeTornado suddenly whispered some monologue:

I must say that, my title defense with Larsen was been the hardest match in my career so far, a supposedly healthy processional bout turned into deadly personal war.

Then Jeanna just came out of the bathroom said:

Oh you’re talking to you self again, don’t say that you are losing your sanity too, just like the other member of SWA Roster?

DeTornado: No!It can't be.. I am just overwhelmed by my victory against Larsen and for this month-long vacation with you!... I think that my suspension in FCK radio were Blessing in Disguise!

Jeanna picked up the telephone

Jeanna: do you know what’s the number for room service? The toilet bowl is clogged

DeTornado: Try 1-800-MASK, I heard on the advertisement that they got the best toilet cleaning and unclogging duo. After all that’s the only expertise of their duo, talking shit, doing shit, and anything about shit.

Jeanna: oh wait! Speaking of mask…. Today is the special screening of, “The awful adventures of Masked Stupidos”!

DeTornado scratched his head…

DeTornado: … and so?

Jeanna: Let’s watch it!

DeTornado: You want to watch it? Oh my… watching it is just like mingling with the SWA’s retarded masked duo! Just like… smelling their garbage scent mouth and Indian curry flavored arm fit!

Jeanna: Yeah mingling with that two fools is really disgusting… but I want to watch that movie!!!


DeTornado: Okay… we will watch that movie!

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….After an hour - at the entrance of the theater.

DeTornado and Jeanna is about to enter the theater when one of the staff stopped DeTornado .

Staff: wait sir, you have to wear this for the screening!

The staff is handing a green super hero mask to him

DeTornado: what the hell! That’s so stupid! I wouldn’t wear that mask or any mask! I don’t wanna look like idiot, freak or loser, just like SHY-DRAG or U-DROLL!

Jeanna tried to convince him….

Jenna: hey please where it so we can watch the movie, just do it for me!

DeTornado: Okay…

Finally, they had entered the Theater and watched the movie. But just after the first five minutes of the movie, Detornado fell asleep…

Three hour later… The movie is over and the people are already going out of the theater, As they goes out an entertainment reporter block their way for an interview.

Reporter: Hey I know you! Ian DeTornado! Hey what can you say about the movie?

DeTornado: It was a super hero movie… I think!T

he reporter laughs a bit as she heard his answer…

Reporter: any comment on the movie?

DeTornado: The movie is a little bit boring, and so unoriginal just like Ultimo droll and ShyDrag, the two child molester masked individual! I am sorry, but I am not actually into Comic Super heroes or something, so I can’t really relate on this movie, but as I know, these comic thing are made for those weak and desperate people who we call as losers, people who put their hope in a piece of paper or this kinds of movie… sorry comic fans, but this is what I believe! Comics heroes are just for fools!

Reporter: eh?

DeTornado: I don’t know, may be because that I am a grown man in a good sanity, I think that these things are waste of time, well just likeThe MASKARADONG GAGO namely UDoom and Psydrag, they are just waste of time. Unlike other people, I wouldn’t spend my precious time in knowing the true identity behind those masks.

Jeanna: you are getting off topic!

DeTornado: I am sorry, but because I was suspended in my show, I would use this interview to counter attack these two fool’s tirade against me. Well after all this comics movie, is no different to those two. Okay we both waste time on this enterview, thanks.


Reporter: thanks too champ.


DeTornado and Jeanna headed to parking lot

Jeanna: I can see that you are too allergic on those masked roster of SWA…

DeTornado opens his bag and look to the championship belt inside it.

Took the voice recorder, pressed the record button and speak…

DeTornado: I must admit, Larsen was right, the roster is now beginning to fill with Joke, and among these are those two Sira ulong maskarado!

As The champ, I think that it is my duty to clean up the roster and take out those shameful individual, including UDoom and PsyDrag… the most shameful individual that they need to hide their faces on a mask.

At first, I have nothing against them, but as I heard how they dishonored the Philippine’s flag on mocking me, I bang usapan na ‘yon pare!

I can say that they want a world war 3! And I am ready to give what they want! the sounds of Tropical Depression? Huh? On Saturday, I’ll give you the real sounds of tropical depression…. Right down to your waxy ear!


Speaking of The Sounds of tropical….
Disguising as your opponent is an old load of garbage, many people had done that before, including me, PsyDrag… Can you have more original gimmick next time!
A
ll I can say is…. The two of them can dream of having my title all they want, as some says it is free to dream, but for me, I got special offer for them…. Dream now, Pay later.

For once you get into my way, you would pay the same way Larsen had paid….

U-Doom, do you think that your successful PPV debut against a jobber is enough to stop me? Tae ka pala eh! Kung hindi ka ba naman loko, tarantado!

PsyDrag, may have good winning streak, Larsen used to have that record too, but where he is now?
Baka gusto mong matulad sa kanya?... I may not speak good English, but at least, I am not as lame as you that even Teen Throb suspected you to be JJ because of lameness… If your costume saved you against bees, I doubt that it can save you too against tables, ladders ant chairs!

Once again, I’ll be teaming up with Teen Throb… to take you both out…

Wait… what do you call your tag team again? BFF? Boyfriends Forever? You can marry each other if you want; we got no problem with that!

DeTornado stopped the voice recorder and drove to the post office to send it to the MFH