Post by Prodigy on Sept 4, 2010 20:00:04 GMT -6
Birmingham, Alabama
September 4th, 2010
7:00 a.m.
*The scene opens much like an episode of cops with a shot of a cozy town in the early morning hours. The hum of a golf cart can be heard as a caption appears at the lower left of the screen, which reads: “Officer Doom, Mount Brook High School, Birmingham, Alabama.” The scene then transitions to the passenger seat of the cart with the camera aimed at the driver, Ultimo Doom. He is clad in a State Trooper’s uniform with a tan short sleeve shirt, black slacks, and black freshly polished dress shoes. Over the upper lip of his trademark mask is a thick brown mustache, which was most likely stuck to the fabric of the mask with a light adhesive. Ultimo Doom keeps his eyes on the road passing by several honking cars with drivers cursing at him furiously before he finally speaks*
Ultimo Doom
“Yeeeeah, this job…it can really change a man the longer he wears the badge. I’ve been at this for like five minutes and already I found a store that sells boxes of powered doughnuts two for a dollar!”
*Ultimo Doom pulls up his mask and to no surprise there is yet another fake mustache, but over his actual upper lip this time. He then reaches over and into a white box at his side pulling out a white powered doughnut and placing it into his mouth*
Ultimo Doom
“Two boxes for a dollar. How awesome is that? Being a Mask For Hire means you never know what tomorrow will bring and every once in a while you get a really sweet gig. Forget babysitting brats at a park, today I’m full on high school campus security son! The ad in the Mount Brooke Gazette asked for hall monitors, but Masks For Hire always do it big. People have no idea how much high school crime takes place outside of the hallways, which is why I’ve taken the liberty of extending my authority beyond the halls of Mount Brooke High School to make sure the campus is 100% crime free. Today, you are going to see firsthand that Psycho Dragon and Ultimo Doom are the ultimate team, when we take a bite out of the ass of crime like two escaped mental patients dressed as Scruff McGruff! The TLC tag main event is going to look like a cakewalk for the Masks For Hire when this day is over. You can bet on that.”
*The scene cuts to the front entrance of Mount Brooke High School with Ultimo Doom leaning up against the side of his golf cart, which is parked over the curb and onto the freshly cut green grass of the front lawn. Ultimo Doom has a bottle of chocolate milk in his hand and sips from a bendy straw that he placed inside the bottle earlier. He surveys the campus like a hawk as students avoid him like the plague. The occasional teen makes a face or waves at the camera, but for the most part they ignore both Ultimo Doom and the cameraman*
Ultimo Doom
"How has it been since forming the MFH? Oh, it’s been awesome. I’m accustom to being a lone wolf taking on a job, but having PsyDrag as my business partner has been great. The Amazing Spider-Man comic is going bi-weekly soon so it couldn’t have happened at a better time either. We’re now making twice the scratch than I ever could have on my own and that right there proves just how totally epic we are as a tag team. I mean we team-up on every job we get. Right now I’m surveying the front lawn for crime, and Psycho Dragon is patrolling the girl’s locker-room for peeping toms…totally tag teaming this place. Do you think Ian DeTornado and Teen Throb are friends? Well, PsyDrag and myself are B.F.Fs! We hang out all the time, camp out outside video game stores, stay up late, aaaaaannnnnnnnnduuuuuuhhhh…we’re blood brothers!”
*Ultimo Doom gives a thumbs up and the camera zooms in to show a pink Hello Kitty band-aid across his thumb*
Ultimo Doom
“This match is huge for us and we know it. Not only do we get a chance to prove that the MFH reek of awesomeness, but a win over SWA’s championships would put us both one step closer to the gold. PsyDrag’s aiming for the stars. He wants the SWA Championship. Me? I want the Extreme Combat Championship. Brawling on a sinking ship? Dude, I should have been there! I want the crazy matches! Better yet, I want to be the KING of the crazy matches! So Teen Throb, we comin’ for you ninja! You may be wondering where Ultimo Doom falls in the main event with SWA’s two champions and the latest sensation known as Psycho Dragon? I’m the madman of the group, the wild card, and you can bet your Aunt Jemima’s sweet maple ass that Ultimo Doom will be making a statement in Saturday Night Fever’s main event!”
*A bell rings in the distance and Ultimo Doom puts his chocolate milk in a coaster inside the golf cart. He then turns back to the camera*
Ultimo Doom
“And so it begins. Let’s go!”
*Ultimo walks quickly down the sidewalk as if knowing exactly where he is going. The cameraman tags along and as he does so Ultimo Doom picks up speed while pulling out a walkie talkie from his front shirt pocket*
Ultimo Doom
“Ultimo Doom in pursuit of possible delinquents at the front parking lot. Requesting back-up. Over.”
Psycho Dragon
“Roger that. Psycho Dragon here. I’m on my way to your location. Over.”
Ultimo Doom
“Roger that. Over.”
Psycho Dragon
“Over.”
Ultimo Doom
“Over.”
Psycho Dragon
“Over.”
Ultimo Doom
“Shenanigans.”
*Ultimo Doom puts the walkie talkie back in his pocket as he approaches a blue Camaro with a teenage boy and a teenage girl making out inside the vehicle. He strolls over to the driver’s side and taps on the window as the cameraman gets into position at his side. The teenage boy postpones the make out session and glares at Ultimo Doom and the cameraman before rolling his window down*
Boy #1
“Can I help you?”
Ultimo Doom
“Evening!”
*The young girl looks at the camera like a deer caught in a pair of headlights as her boyfriend stifles laughter at Ultimo Doom’s attire*
Ultimo Doom
“Do you know what time it is?”
Boy #1
“Do you?! It ain’t the evening mister!”
Ultimo Doom
“Nice grammar there junior, but I believe I asked the question first.”
*The young man glances at the clock on his cell phone and then looks back up at Ultimo Doom*
Boy #1
“It’s 8:06.”
Ultimo Doom
“What do you know? He tells jokes and can read a digital clock! Your girl sure picked a real winner! 8:06...which means you have four minutes to get to class.”
Boy #1
“Look, who gives a crap?!”
Ultimo Doom
“Ah ha! So you’re too hip to be on time are you? Well, dig this…say you’re out on the town with your girl and you’re driving along listening to Watch Out’s Greatest Hits-”
Boy #1
“Who?!”
Ultimo Doom
“Oh come on! You never heard of the band Watch Out?”
Boy #1
“Sounds like a lame boy band.”
Ultimo Doom
“Baby You Know You Want Me? Oh, it’s a classic. If you ever get a chance to hear it played on a trombone sinking in the water, it will change your life forever.”
*The hum of a golf cart quickly approaching can be heard as Psycho Dragon speeds into the passenger side of the Camaro. The young girl screams bloody murder as Psycho Dragon crawls out from the wreckage and on top of the hood of the car. He cups his hands and looks through the windshield at the stunned couple*
Psycho Dragon
“FREEZE! LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS! GET ON THE GROUND! GET ON THE GROUND!”
Boy: #1
“WHAT?!”
*Ultimo Doom climbs into the car through the rolled down window as the couple scream loudly*
Ultimo Doom
“LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS! STEP OUT OF THE CAR! STEP OUT OF THE CAR!”
Psycho Dragon
“GET ON THE GROUND!”
Ultimo Doom
“STEP OUT OF THE CAR!”
*The scene cuts to a shot of a hallway within the high school as Ultimo Doom is getting a drink from a nearby water fountain. With his hydration replenished, he looks over at the camera*
Ultimo Doom
“Jack told you Teen Throb said that about me?”
*Ultimo Doom rubs his chin for a moment and then bursts into obnoxious laughter that echoes throughout the hallway*
Ultimo Doom
“Oh! Oh ho! Oh…what a load of crap! The dude lists Lex Luthor and the frackin’ Kingpin as the best villains?! Two bald guys who sit around PLOTTING?! What about the Green Goblin or The Joker? Two villains that plotted a while and then went out and actually did something! Lexy and Kingpin?! *shudders* I’ll never amount to anything in the field of super villainy? Harsh bro, harsh…I’ll have you know that my evil costumes and props are on back order, and once Teen Throb Sr. gets his fat ass back on Ebay to confirm my purchase of all your childhood memories then I’ll really be cooking! In fact, I’m going to use YOUR stuff to form my own boy band called Masks For Her and our No. 1 hit is going to be called ‘Baby You Know You Want Me…To Crack A Window…Because You Broke Wind…And I Can Pretty Much Taste It…Which Is Really Bad…Because I’m Wearing A Mask…And I’m Frackin’ Tasting It…Right Now…Ew…Gross!’ So how do you like them apples Teen Throb? I don’t even know why I’m responding to your remarks when you’ve clearly ingested too much salt water! Ultimo Doom and PsyDrag the same person? Dude, we’ve been together on camera a bunch of times and this isn’t Disney’s The Parent Trap and I’m not Lindsay Lohan! Therefore, Ultimo Doom and PsyDrag being the same guy is impossible!”
*Ultimo Doom takes a moment to rub his eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh*
Ultimo Doom
“And to Ian DeTornado, comprehending Teen Throb’s comments has given me a teen throbbing headache so if you’re going to say something about MFH, it is my sincere hope that you are reading ‘The English Language For Dummies’ book right now because I’ve got cognitive overload as it is and your Incredible Hulk-like banter is going to make me want to drive nails into my temples! *Hulk voice* Me champ! Me crush Masks On Fire! Me make new hit single with Teeny Throbber called ‘Me Know Me Want Me!’ *end Hulk voice* Listen boys, one match does not a tag team make and just because you two had a one night stand as a tag team does not mean that you have the chemistry of a real tag team! Masks For Hire? We da real deal twenty-fo seven dawg! Too legit…too legit to quit, you know what I’m saying? PsyDrag already beat Teenie Bopper and with Ultimo Doom at his side, not even the SWA Champion can stop our combined awesomenss! It’s in the bag baby! The champs don’t know what they’re in for! Would you like to hear about dinner at Ultimo Doom’s house? I sit at a TABLE in a CHAIR and if sometime during the meal a light bulb goes out, I go get a LADDER, climb to the top, and change it! You hearing me man? I do this at dinner! TLC tag team main event against SWA’s champions? Ultimo Doom is ready!”
Psycho Dragon
“PsyDrag to Ultimo Doom. There are drugs on the premises. Over. Come to the science room. Over.”
Ultimo Doom
“I knew it!”
*Ultimo Doom takes off down the hallway with the cameraman right on his heels. He turns left and kicks a door in storming right into the science room as the students look at him wide-eyed. A small student stands at the front of the class showing off his science project; the solar system made of candy*
Ultimo Doom
“Oh the irony! Teen Throb be jealous! I’m going Galactus on that beach!”
*Ultimo Doom strolls over to the student and snatches his science project from him. The class watches in horror as Ultimo Doom munches away on the project*
Ultimo Doom
“Num, num, num…doubt Ultimo Doom now will you?”
*Psycho Dragon suddenly rushes into the room clenching a baseball bat in his hands*
Psycho Dragon
“THIS IS A RAID! GET ON THE GROUND!”
*The sound of glass shattering and loud screams can be heard as the camera focuses on Ultimo Doom putting the entire lemon drop sun into his mouth*
End Scene.
September 4th, 2010
7:00 a.m.
*The scene opens much like an episode of cops with a shot of a cozy town in the early morning hours. The hum of a golf cart can be heard as a caption appears at the lower left of the screen, which reads: “Officer Doom, Mount Brook High School, Birmingham, Alabama.” The scene then transitions to the passenger seat of the cart with the camera aimed at the driver, Ultimo Doom. He is clad in a State Trooper’s uniform with a tan short sleeve shirt, black slacks, and black freshly polished dress shoes. Over the upper lip of his trademark mask is a thick brown mustache, which was most likely stuck to the fabric of the mask with a light adhesive. Ultimo Doom keeps his eyes on the road passing by several honking cars with drivers cursing at him furiously before he finally speaks*
Ultimo Doom
“Yeeeeah, this job…it can really change a man the longer he wears the badge. I’ve been at this for like five minutes and already I found a store that sells boxes of powered doughnuts two for a dollar!”
*Ultimo Doom pulls up his mask and to no surprise there is yet another fake mustache, but over his actual upper lip this time. He then reaches over and into a white box at his side pulling out a white powered doughnut and placing it into his mouth*
Ultimo Doom
“Two boxes for a dollar. How awesome is that? Being a Mask For Hire means you never know what tomorrow will bring and every once in a while you get a really sweet gig. Forget babysitting brats at a park, today I’m full on high school campus security son! The ad in the Mount Brooke Gazette asked for hall monitors, but Masks For Hire always do it big. People have no idea how much high school crime takes place outside of the hallways, which is why I’ve taken the liberty of extending my authority beyond the halls of Mount Brooke High School to make sure the campus is 100% crime free. Today, you are going to see firsthand that Psycho Dragon and Ultimo Doom are the ultimate team, when we take a bite out of the ass of crime like two escaped mental patients dressed as Scruff McGruff! The TLC tag main event is going to look like a cakewalk for the Masks For Hire when this day is over. You can bet on that.”
*The scene cuts to the front entrance of Mount Brooke High School with Ultimo Doom leaning up against the side of his golf cart, which is parked over the curb and onto the freshly cut green grass of the front lawn. Ultimo Doom has a bottle of chocolate milk in his hand and sips from a bendy straw that he placed inside the bottle earlier. He surveys the campus like a hawk as students avoid him like the plague. The occasional teen makes a face or waves at the camera, but for the most part they ignore both Ultimo Doom and the cameraman*
Ultimo Doom
"How has it been since forming the MFH? Oh, it’s been awesome. I’m accustom to being a lone wolf taking on a job, but having PsyDrag as my business partner has been great. The Amazing Spider-Man comic is going bi-weekly soon so it couldn’t have happened at a better time either. We’re now making twice the scratch than I ever could have on my own and that right there proves just how totally epic we are as a tag team. I mean we team-up on every job we get. Right now I’m surveying the front lawn for crime, and Psycho Dragon is patrolling the girl’s locker-room for peeping toms…totally tag teaming this place. Do you think Ian DeTornado and Teen Throb are friends? Well, PsyDrag and myself are B.F.Fs! We hang out all the time, camp out outside video game stores, stay up late, aaaaaannnnnnnnnduuuuuuhhhh…we’re blood brothers!”
*Ultimo Doom gives a thumbs up and the camera zooms in to show a pink Hello Kitty band-aid across his thumb*
Ultimo Doom
“This match is huge for us and we know it. Not only do we get a chance to prove that the MFH reek of awesomeness, but a win over SWA’s championships would put us both one step closer to the gold. PsyDrag’s aiming for the stars. He wants the SWA Championship. Me? I want the Extreme Combat Championship. Brawling on a sinking ship? Dude, I should have been there! I want the crazy matches! Better yet, I want to be the KING of the crazy matches! So Teen Throb, we comin’ for you ninja! You may be wondering where Ultimo Doom falls in the main event with SWA’s two champions and the latest sensation known as Psycho Dragon? I’m the madman of the group, the wild card, and you can bet your Aunt Jemima’s sweet maple ass that Ultimo Doom will be making a statement in Saturday Night Fever’s main event!”
*A bell rings in the distance and Ultimo Doom puts his chocolate milk in a coaster inside the golf cart. He then turns back to the camera*
Ultimo Doom
“And so it begins. Let’s go!”
*Ultimo walks quickly down the sidewalk as if knowing exactly where he is going. The cameraman tags along and as he does so Ultimo Doom picks up speed while pulling out a walkie talkie from his front shirt pocket*
Ultimo Doom
“Ultimo Doom in pursuit of possible delinquents at the front parking lot. Requesting back-up. Over.”
Psycho Dragon
“Roger that. Psycho Dragon here. I’m on my way to your location. Over.”
Ultimo Doom
“Roger that. Over.”
Psycho Dragon
“Over.”
Ultimo Doom
“Over.”
Psycho Dragon
“Over.”
Ultimo Doom
“Shenanigans.”
*Ultimo Doom puts the walkie talkie back in his pocket as he approaches a blue Camaro with a teenage boy and a teenage girl making out inside the vehicle. He strolls over to the driver’s side and taps on the window as the cameraman gets into position at his side. The teenage boy postpones the make out session and glares at Ultimo Doom and the cameraman before rolling his window down*
Boy #1
“Can I help you?”
Ultimo Doom
“Evening!”
*The young girl looks at the camera like a deer caught in a pair of headlights as her boyfriend stifles laughter at Ultimo Doom’s attire*
Ultimo Doom
“Do you know what time it is?”
Boy #1
“Do you?! It ain’t the evening mister!”
Ultimo Doom
“Nice grammar there junior, but I believe I asked the question first.”
*The young man glances at the clock on his cell phone and then looks back up at Ultimo Doom*
Boy #1
“It’s 8:06.”
Ultimo Doom
“What do you know? He tells jokes and can read a digital clock! Your girl sure picked a real winner! 8:06...which means you have four minutes to get to class.”
Boy #1
“Look, who gives a crap?!”
Ultimo Doom
“Ah ha! So you’re too hip to be on time are you? Well, dig this…say you’re out on the town with your girl and you’re driving along listening to Watch Out’s Greatest Hits-”
Boy #1
“Who?!”
Ultimo Doom
“Oh come on! You never heard of the band Watch Out?”
Boy #1
“Sounds like a lame boy band.”
Ultimo Doom
“Baby You Know You Want Me? Oh, it’s a classic. If you ever get a chance to hear it played on a trombone sinking in the water, it will change your life forever.”
*The hum of a golf cart quickly approaching can be heard as Psycho Dragon speeds into the passenger side of the Camaro. The young girl screams bloody murder as Psycho Dragon crawls out from the wreckage and on top of the hood of the car. He cups his hands and looks through the windshield at the stunned couple*
Psycho Dragon
“FREEZE! LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS! GET ON THE GROUND! GET ON THE GROUND!”
Boy: #1
“WHAT?!”
*Ultimo Doom climbs into the car through the rolled down window as the couple scream loudly*
Ultimo Doom
“LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS! STEP OUT OF THE CAR! STEP OUT OF THE CAR!”
Psycho Dragon
“GET ON THE GROUND!”
Ultimo Doom
“STEP OUT OF THE CAR!”
*The scene cuts to a shot of a hallway within the high school as Ultimo Doom is getting a drink from a nearby water fountain. With his hydration replenished, he looks over at the camera*
Ultimo Doom
“Jack told you Teen Throb said that about me?”
*Ultimo Doom rubs his chin for a moment and then bursts into obnoxious laughter that echoes throughout the hallway*
Ultimo Doom
“Oh! Oh ho! Oh…what a load of crap! The dude lists Lex Luthor and the frackin’ Kingpin as the best villains?! Two bald guys who sit around PLOTTING?! What about the Green Goblin or The Joker? Two villains that plotted a while and then went out and actually did something! Lexy and Kingpin?! *shudders* I’ll never amount to anything in the field of super villainy? Harsh bro, harsh…I’ll have you know that my evil costumes and props are on back order, and once Teen Throb Sr. gets his fat ass back on Ebay to confirm my purchase of all your childhood memories then I’ll really be cooking! In fact, I’m going to use YOUR stuff to form my own boy band called Masks For Her and our No. 1 hit is going to be called ‘Baby You Know You Want Me…To Crack A Window…Because You Broke Wind…And I Can Pretty Much Taste It…Which Is Really Bad…Because I’m Wearing A Mask…And I’m Frackin’ Tasting It…Right Now…Ew…Gross!’ So how do you like them apples Teen Throb? I don’t even know why I’m responding to your remarks when you’ve clearly ingested too much salt water! Ultimo Doom and PsyDrag the same person? Dude, we’ve been together on camera a bunch of times and this isn’t Disney’s The Parent Trap and I’m not Lindsay Lohan! Therefore, Ultimo Doom and PsyDrag being the same guy is impossible!”
*Ultimo Doom takes a moment to rub his eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh*
Ultimo Doom
“And to Ian DeTornado, comprehending Teen Throb’s comments has given me a teen throbbing headache so if you’re going to say something about MFH, it is my sincere hope that you are reading ‘The English Language For Dummies’ book right now because I’ve got cognitive overload as it is and your Incredible Hulk-like banter is going to make me want to drive nails into my temples! *Hulk voice* Me champ! Me crush Masks On Fire! Me make new hit single with Teeny Throbber called ‘Me Know Me Want Me!’ *end Hulk voice* Listen boys, one match does not a tag team make and just because you two had a one night stand as a tag team does not mean that you have the chemistry of a real tag team! Masks For Hire? We da real deal twenty-fo seven dawg! Too legit…too legit to quit, you know what I’m saying? PsyDrag already beat Teenie Bopper and with Ultimo Doom at his side, not even the SWA Champion can stop our combined awesomenss! It’s in the bag baby! The champs don’t know what they’re in for! Would you like to hear about dinner at Ultimo Doom’s house? I sit at a TABLE in a CHAIR and if sometime during the meal a light bulb goes out, I go get a LADDER, climb to the top, and change it! You hearing me man? I do this at dinner! TLC tag team main event against SWA’s champions? Ultimo Doom is ready!”
Psycho Dragon
“PsyDrag to Ultimo Doom. There are drugs on the premises. Over. Come to the science room. Over.”
Ultimo Doom
“I knew it!”
*Ultimo Doom takes off down the hallway with the cameraman right on his heels. He turns left and kicks a door in storming right into the science room as the students look at him wide-eyed. A small student stands at the front of the class showing off his science project; the solar system made of candy*
Ultimo Doom
“Oh the irony! Teen Throb be jealous! I’m going Galactus on that beach!”
*Ultimo Doom strolls over to the student and snatches his science project from him. The class watches in horror as Ultimo Doom munches away on the project*
Ultimo Doom
“Num, num, num…doubt Ultimo Doom now will you?”
*Psycho Dragon suddenly rushes into the room clenching a baseball bat in his hands*
Psycho Dragon
“THIS IS A RAID! GET ON THE GROUND!”
*The sound of glass shattering and loud screams can be heard as the camera focuses on Ultimo Doom putting the entire lemon drop sun into his mouth*
End Scene.