Apocalypse Now 2010

[Sedition: The Rev]

**Backstage at the arena in Miami, Florida, SWA owners and General Managers The Rev and Gladiator are approaching a large shipping container in the loading docks. Rev extracts a key from around his neck. There's a hand written sign taped to the storage container that reads “JOE AIELLO: Ugly Italian Sasquatch – Handle at your own risk”. Rev unlocks the padlock and opens up the storage container. It's pitch black on the inside.**

REV: It's show time.

GLADIATOR: Get up, Aiello. We're not paying you for nothing.

REV: Actually we're not paying him period.

GLADIATOR: Oh yeah, I guess that's true. Let me try something else. Get up Aiello, or we'll poison your wife.

**In the back of the storage container there's some noise of movement. A dark shadow moves. Rev pulls out a club and Gladiator pulls out a semi automatic rifle.**

REV: Why do you always have to show me up?

GLADIATOR: It's what I do best...... Hey Aiello, if you don't come out this second, I'll saw your head off with a round full of ammunition.......... and then Rev will club your dead body for fun or something.

REV: You see that's why we need to coordinate our weapons. Now I look like a total wiener for bringing this thing. Thanks a lot.

**No movement from the back. Breathing can be heard.**

GLADIATOR: That was your last chance. You're going to get it now.

**Rev and Gladiator move to the back of the storage container. They grab Joe Aiello by the back of the head and pull him into the light. What they find shocks them. It's not Joe Aiello at all. It's none other than........

Former Academy Award nominee, former Vice Presidential Candidate and currently homeless, unemployed and starving dumpster diver, Tom Berenger!**

GLADIATOR: Berenger, what are you doing here?

BERENGER: I'm not Tom Berenger. I'm Joe Aiello.

REV: Is this some kind of a joke?

BERENGER: Actually it's my latest challenging role. Joe offered me a chance to put something new on my resume. He paid me $5.00 to play him for the day while he makes his latest attempt to escape...... Oh shoot, I just broke character. Don't tell him I did that. He'll deduct it from my $5.00.

GLADIATOR: Berenger, you're already supposed to be out there on commentary as yourself. Ray Lyndon's ready to start the show. Pay Per Views are a 3-man commentary. Now where did Joe Aiello go to?

BERENGER: I'm right here. I am Joe Aiello.

REV: Lets get him out to the commentary desk. We'll find Joe later.

____________________

PRESENTS

Live from
MIAMI, FLORIDA, USA

**Every fan in the arena is on their feet screaming at the top of their lungs. Signs all over the arena are flashed in support of their favourite superstars. Ian DeTornado, Larsen Van Der Kamp, Captain Insanity, Psycho Dragon, Waylon Hawthorne. Everyone except Marty Jannetty are supported by their fans. Ray Lyndon stands by himself at ringside.**

RAY: We are jam packed here in Miami for Apocalypse Now 2010! Hello everyone, I am Ray Lyndon, I'm thrilled to be here, and this is my 17th Espresso of the day!

**Ray downs his drink. His head shakes violently for a second and then calms down. Tom Berenger suddenly shows up at his side waving to the crowd.**

RAY: And we are joined by Tom Berenger.

BERENGER: Correction. You are joined by Joe Aiello.

RAY: If this is your latest acting job you're doing a poor job of pulling it off.

BERENGER: Gimme a break, it's the best I could do with no time to research my character. Besides, a job is a job. Every man needs to eat. Hey, you gonna finish that pretzel?

RAY: You mean the one that fell on the floor and is half crushed under my loafers?

BERENGER: Yeah, it's looking good.

**Tom Berenger digs his paws under Ray's foot and picks up what's left of the crushed pretzel. Ray looks on in disgust.**

RAY: Wait, I'm confused about something. You're still out of work, broke and homeless?

BERENGER: You know it.

RAY: But didn't I see you in a supporting role in Inception last month? That movie has made over $600,000,000 worldwide so far.

BERENGER: Don't even get me started. I didn't see a penny from that.

RAY: How is that possible?

BERENGER: Beats me. I was really light headed from eating some bad dinner rolls I found in the dumpster behind Denny's. Some guy came up to me and started convincing me that I was actually in a dream world. I spent 3 weeks thinking the whole thing was real.

RAY: That's terrible!

BERNEGER: That Christopher Nolan is one crooked limey.

RAY: Well fans, until Joe Aiello can be recovered, you'll have to deal with me and Tom here. We have a huge show tonight. If you've been living under a rock and haven't already been informed, take a look at what's scheduled for Apocalyose Now 2010!

_______________

SWA CHAMPIONSHIP
BEST TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS
(1st- Traditional Rules, 2nd- Extreme Rules, 3rd- Falls Count Anywhere)

IAN DE TORNADO
-vs-
LARSEN VAN DER KAMP

---


EXTREME COMBAT CHAMPIONSHIP
BRAWL ON A SINKING CRUISE SHIP

CAPTAIN INSANITY
-vs-
TEEN THROB

---



ANYTHING GOES

GABREAL MARTIN
-vs-
WAYLON HAWTHORNE

---



ROTTWEILER/SCHNAUZER LUMBERJACK MATCH

PSYCHO DRAGON
-vs-
CHIP PEKURNY

---



REGULAR MATCH

DUKE WALLACE
-vs-
DANNY O'CALLAHAN

---

RAY: But that's not all. There's more! For no additional cost, we are offering all the fans at home this additional bonus match between two brand new stars on the SWA roster! Branden Harvey and Ultimo Doom have been added to the card as our exciting action packed opening bout! Lets get to it! Apocalypse Now 2010 is underway in 3.......... 2.............. 1............... 0.5...........

REGULAR MATCH

BRANDEN HARVEY
-vs-
ULTIMO DOOM

"Fuel" by Metallica hits the speakers. Branden Harvey makes his way to the ring. Ring announcer Virgil introduces him as he walks down the aisle.

VIRGIL: Introducing first, making his SWA debut. He hails from Sacramento, California, standing at a height of 5 feet and 8 inches and weighing a lean 140 pounds, love him or hate him, you're gonna hate him, the one and only BRANDEN HARVEY!!!!

Harvey gets on the middle turnbuckle, feigns to lift his arms in the air, before spitting on the nearest fan. He then backflips off the turnbuckle. "Can any of you do that?," he screams. "I didn't think so."

As “Little Green Bag” by George Baker plays, Ultimo Doom appears at the entrance way with his back to the crowd and his arms across his chest. He turns to the crowd striking his scary pose and laughing like a mad scientist. Ultimo Doom walks to the ring and leaps onto the apron. He then vaults over the top rope and lands in a evasive roll almost knocking the referee and Branden Harvey over before stopping suddenly in a ridiculous pose.

RAY: Here we have an aspiring super villain against just a plain old jerk.

BERENGER: Be prepared for non stop boos.

Ultimo Doom and Branden Harvey lock up in the center of the ring. Branden Harvey applies a Side Headlock, but Ultimo Doom pushes him towards the ropes. Branden Harvey bounces off the ropes and Ultimo Doom catches him with a Hip Toss. Branden Harvey gets on his feet and charges at Ultimo Doom. Ultimo Doom catches him with a Back Body Drop. Ultimo Doom stands with his back to Branden Harvey who's lying on the mat. Ultimo Doom drops on Branden Harvey with a Standing Moonsault. Ultimo Doom hooks Branden Harvey's leg for the cover,

1..

2...

Branden Harvey kicks out. Ultimo Doom picks Branden Harvey up and whips him to the corner. Ultimo Doom runs at him with a Clotheline, but Branden Harvey ducks out of the way. Ultimo Doom crashes into the turnbuckle. Branden Harvey grabs him from behind and applies a Reverse Chin Lock, but Ultimo Doom reverses with a Snapmare. Ultimo Doom grabs Branden Harvey by the head and delivers a Reverse Vertical Suplex. Ultimo Doom runs towards the ropes and springboards off the second rope. He flies back and lands on Branden Harvey with a Lionsault. Ultimo Doom goes for the cover

1..

2...

Branden Harvey kicks out.

RAY: Both of these newcomers are pulling out all the stops to pick up their first wins.

BERENGER: Yes indeed. As an experienced commentator I concur with your statement. Joe Aiello has spoken.

RAY: Give it up. You're not Joe Aiello.

Ultimo Doom picks Branden Harvey up and drops him down with a Sitdown Crucifix Bomb. Ultimo Doom climbs up on the top rope and Branden Harvey gets up on his feet. Ultimo Doom jumps off and hits Branden Harvey with a Flipover Neckbreaker. Ultimo Doom goes for the cover

1..

2...

Branden Harvey kicks out. Ultimo Doom climbs up to the top rope, but Branden Harvey gets up on his feet. Branden Harvey grabs Ultimo Doom by the foot and Ultimo Doom loses his balance. Ultimo Doom drops down on the top turnbuckle and Branden Harvey climbs up to the top rope. Branden Harvey delivers a Superplex. Branden Harvey goes for the cover

1..

2...

Ultimo Doom kicks out. Branden Harvey picks Ultimo Doom up and lifts him up in a Powerbomb, but Ultimo Doom flips back with a Hurricanranna. Ultimo Doom picks Branden Harvey up and applies a Sleeper Hold. Slowly but surely Branden Harvey begins to lose conciousness. Branden Harvey drops down to his knees. The ref picks Branden Harvey's hand up and it drops. He picks it up the second time and it drops again. The ref picks his hand up one last time.

RAY: Could this be it? I'm so tense I feel oike my heart is about to burst through my chest!

BERENGER: That could be because of the Espressos.

His arm prepares to drop, but Branden Harvey is able to keep his hand up. Branden Harvey gets back up to his feet, but Ultimo Doom delivers a Sleeping Neckbreaker. Ultimo Doom climbs up on the top rope and dives off with a Guillotine Leg Drop, but Branden Harvey moves out of the way. Ultimo Doom crashes down to the mat. Branden Harvey picks him up and picks Ultimo Doom up in a Front Suplex. Instead of falling back, Branden Harvey drops Ultimo Doom down into a Facebuster. Branden Harvey goes for the cover

1..

2...

Ultimo Doom kicks out.

Branden Harvey climbs up on the top rope. Ultimo Doom gets up on his feet and Branden Harvey hits him with a Missile Dropkick. Branden Harvey goes to pick Ultimo Doom up, but Ultimo Doom grabs his foot and trips him down to the mat. Branden Harvey gets up on his feet and runs at Ultimo Doom with a Clothesline. Ultimo Doom ducks it and hits Branden Harvey with The Mustache Twirl, a Corkscrew Neckbreaker. Ultimo Doom goes for the cover,

1..

2...

3

Winner: Ultimo Doom

RAY: Ultimo Doom wins in our opening bout. That's his first win in SWA.

BERENGER: That Branden Harvey pushes him to the limit. Joe Aiello has spoken.

RAY: For crying out loud, you can't just add “Joe Aiello has spoken” onthe end of every sentence and convince us you're Joe Aiello.

BERENGER: You don't think so?

RAY: How were you ever nominated for an Oscar?

_______________________

**Meanwhile, the real Joe Aiello is currently at the Miami International Airport standing in line for his flight. He pulls a baseball cap over his eyes and flips open his passport to examine it. It reads “Tom Berenger” with a picture of Joe forged onto it. Joe reluctantly approaches the front of the line.**

AIRLINE EMPLOYEE: Good evening, and thank you for flying American Airlines. My I see your passport and boarding pass please?

JOE: Sure.

**Joe nervously hands the passport and boarding pass to the employee. They look at the pass first. A one way flight to Cuba. They look at the passport, then back to Joe, then at the passport again, then back to Joe. The gate employee calls a security guard over. Joe looks nervous and turns around. He pushes past the other people in line as he makes a break for it. The guard extracts a gun.**

GUARD Freeze!

**Joe makes it a total of 15 feet before another security guard tackles him to the ground. He pulls Joe's hands behind his back and starts to put cuffs on him.

GUARD: Mr. Berenger, you are under arrest for......

**Rev and Gladiator run into the scene. They grab Joe away from the guard and start flashing phony badges all over the place.**

REV: It's okay, we have this under control. Federal Bureau of Sedition. We'll be taking this suspect in.

GUARD: You're who?

**Gladiator slaps the guard across the face.**

GLADIATOR: You better learn the chain of command before you get yourself into trouble, officer. Hold your tongue or I'll have you written up on a 517. Now if you'll excuse us we'll take the suspect from here.

**Rev drops a smoke grenade and the airport terminal fills up with smoke. When the smoke clears Rev, Gladiator and Joe Aiello have disappeared.**

_________________

RAY: I guess poor Joe was no match for Airport security. They must have circulated his picture........ hey wait a second, they said “You;'re under arrest, Mr. Berenger.”

BERENGER: Oops.

RAY: What do you mean, Oops? Is there a warrant out for your arrest?

BERENGER: Is a starving man guilty if he steals bread to feed his family?

RAY: Well...... technically yes....... but I guess that's questionable.

BERENGER: Okay. Lets say that starving man only stole bread for himself, and didn't have a family. Is he guilty for doing what he has to do to survive?

RAY: Again, technically yes, but I suppose times are hard.

BERENGER: Okay. Lets say that man stole some money and jewelry to sell so that he could afford to buy bread to feed his starving family.

RAY: We've already established that you didn't have a family.

BERENGER: And if he actually stole a big screen TV, stereo, and other pricey items, and it was part of a breaking and entering, and the house was that of Treat Williams, who we already know stole The Substitute franchise from me, which was a lot more valuable than some crummy big screen TV...

RAY: You no good hooligan!

BERENGER: Say what you will, but a man needs to feed his starving family.

RAY: You don't have a family, and this is all part of your unnatural hatred for the career of Treat Williams, not to mention you willingly let Joe Aiello steal your identity knowing that tehre was a warrant out for your arrest. I'm..... I'm speechless.

BERENGER: Geez. Gimme a break. I said oops./

**The fans cheer as a bound and gagged Joe Aiello is lead down the aisle by Rev and Gladiator.**

BERENGER: Looks who's back.

RAY: And in record time. Did they teleport from Miami International Airport?

**Rev sits Joe down and shackles him to the chair. He removes the gag from Joe's mouth.

REV: Now behave.

**Rev and Gladiator head back down the aisle. Joe turns to look at Tom Berenger, who picking some gum out from under the table and offering it to Joe.**

BERENGER: A peace offering.

JOE: I wish a slow and painful death upon you.

BERENGER: Next time we swap identities, I'll be sure to tell you about any outstanding warrants against me.

RAY: While we wait for Joe to settle in, we have another match to get to. The last time Danny “Fighting Irish” O'Callahan and Duke “The Supremacist” Wallace faced off it was in an Ottawa Street Fight. Duke was the victor that night. Now O'Callahan wants to even up the score. This time they'll be confined to the ring. It's Wallace vs O'Callahan: Round Two, only on Pay Per View!

REGULAR MATCH

DUKE WALLACE
-vs-
DANNY O'CALLAHAN

---

"What We Need is a Hero" begins to play and the lights go out. One lone spotlight shines on and off as the slow drum beat pounds. As the music kicks in the lights come up with a flash of pyros, and Duke Wallace appears at the top of the entrance ramp. He raises one arm high, pausing with his eyes closed as the pryos die out. Duke walks down the aisle with a serious look on his face and his shoulders and arms puffed out, clearly trying to show off his arms. Duke completely ignores the boos from the crowd. He rolls under the bottom rope and poses arrogantly as the lights in the arena all come back up.

VIRGIL: "Introducing First, Hailing from Vancouver, BC, Weighing in at 280 lbs, He is The Supremacist DUKE WALLACE!!!

As his music starts to play, green lights starts to flash. Danny steps onto the stage and raises his hands in the air. He slowly walks to the ring. He slides in the ring and poses on the turnbuckle.

VIRGIL: And His Opponent, Hailing from the projects of South Boston, He weighs in at 247 lbs, Fighting Irish DANNY O'CALLAHAN!!!

Both men step to the center of the ring and begin exchanging hard blows to the head. Duke gets the upper hand and backs O'Callahan up to the ropes. O'Callahan stands against the ropes. Duke charges at O'Callahan and hits him with a running boot to the head. O'Callahan flips backwards over the top rope and drops to the ground. Duke picks O'Callahan up and whips him against the barricade. Duke charges at him and hits him with a Avalanche Splash against the barricade. O'Callahan collapses down to the ground. Duke grabs on to the barricade and leaps into the air. He stomps his foot down on O'Callahan's head. Duke picks O'Callahan up and drags him to the ring. He grabs O'Callahan by the head and slams his head down on the edge of the apron. Duke drives O'Callahan's head down to the concrete with a Piledriver. Duke walks around to the timekeeper area. He grabs the ring bell, but the timekeeper tries to hang on to it. Duke rips the bell out of the time keepers hands. The time keeper tries to grab it back, but Duke holds it up in a threatening manner. The time keeper backs off. Duke turns around and O'Callahan is standing right behind him. O'Callahan delivers a Superkick, Duke follishly tries to block the Superkick with the bell, but when O'Callahan's foot collides with the bell, he kicks it into Duke's face. Duke drops the bell and stumbles backwards. O'Callahan picks up the bell and dives towards Duke with the bell in hand. O'Callahan nails Duke over the head with the bell.

RAY: Hey, that should be a disqualification. I don't recall this being an Extreme Rules Match.

AIELLO: This is the SWA Ray. The referees never enforce the rules.

TOM: And the food is never free. Rev charged me $2.00 for a half eaten can of beans today.

O'Callahan picks up the ring steps and sets them up next to Duke. O'Callahan picks Duke up in a Fireman's Carry. He drives Duke's head down to the ring steps with a F-5. O'Callahan picks Duke up and tosses him back in the ring. O'Callahan slides into the ring and goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Duke gets his shoulder up.

RAY: Somehow, Duke Wallace managed to get his shoulder up after suffering massive head trauma. What tenacity!

AIELLO: Ray, if he suffered massive head trauma he would be completely unconscious.

BERENGER: You know he's right. I once fell asleep in a dumpster and forgot it was garbage day the next morning. I woke up in the hospital 3 days later with a bandage on my head.

O'Callahan picks Duke up and lifts him up in a Military Press. O'Callahan drops Duke into a Spinebuster, O'Callahan goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Duke kicks out. O'Callahan picks Duke up and attempts to whip him off the ropes, but Duke reverses the whip. O'Callahan bonces off the ropes and Duke delivers a Sidewalk Slam. Duke bounces off the ropes and drops down on O'Callahan with a Knee Drop. Duke goes for the cover,

1...

2...

O'Callahan gets his shoulder up. Duke picks him up and sets him up for a Powerbomb, but O'Callahan reverses with a Back Body Drop. O'Callahan picks Duke up and delivers a Russian Leg Sweep. O'Callahan climbs up on the top rope and drops down on Duke with a Guillotine Leg Drop. O'Callahan goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Duke kicks out.

RAY: What an incredible display of amazingness.

AIELLO: That didn't even make any sense.

TOM: Yeah, I'm drunk and I"m even making more even more sense than Roy.

RAY: Will you guys just lay off. I only get to work once every two weeks.

O'Callahan picks Duke up and whips him to the corner. He charges at Duke and jumps up on the second turnbuckle and delivers a Monkey Flip. O'Callahan picks Duke up and nails him with some hits to the head. He backs Duke up against the ropes and takes a few steps back. He charges at Duke and Clotheslines him over the top rope. O'Callahan bounces off the ropes as Duke gets up on his feet. Saint jumps over the top rope and drops down on Duke with a Suicide Dive. O'Callahan gets up on his feet. He drags Duke to the ring steps. He places Duke's head up against the steps. O'Callahan runs towards him and attempts the SOUTHIE KICK, but Duke moves out of the way. O'Callahan kicks the steel steps. Duke spins him around and grabs him by the head. He drives O'Callahan's head to the concrete wit DDT SUPREMACY.

AIELLO: Now that may have caused massive head trauma.

RAY: That was unbelievable!

Duke picks O'Callahan up and tosses him in the ring. Duke climbs up on the apron. He slingshots himself into the ring and drops down on O'Callahan with a Splash. Duke goes for the cover,

1...

2...

O'Callahan gets his foot up on the bottom rope. Duke takes a moment to argue with the ref. O'Callahan begins to get up on his feet. Duke picks O'Callahan up. He once again attempts DDT SUPREMACY, but as he holds O'Callahan up, O'Callahan drops down behind him. He delivers a Release German Suplex. Duke drops hard down to the mat. O'Callahan gets up to his feet and Duke rises up on his hands and knees. O'Callahan runs towards him and nails him the the SOUTHIE KICK. O'Callahan hooks Duke's legs for the cover,

1...

2...

3!!!

VIRGIL: Here is your winner, "FIGHTING IRISH" DANNY O'CALLAHAN!!!

RAY: Impressive win from the Fighting Irishman. Danny O'Callahan picks up his first singles win in SWA!.

JOE: And Duke Wallace has another opportunity to complain about a prejudicial loss.

RAY: Every wins!

_____________________-

[Sedition: The Rev]

BERENGER: What's next?

JOE: Looks like Chip Pekurny and Psycho Dragon.

BERENGER: Is that what it says on the card?

JOE: No, they're bringing out a pack of Rottweilers and Schnauzers.

RAY: Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to be witnesses to a monumental contest in sports entertainment history! Chip Pekurny and Psycho Dragon are about to be surrounded by hungry and rabid dogs in the first ever Rottweiler and Schnauzer Lumberjack Match. This all started about 2 weeks ago when Psycho Dragon ran over a poor defenseless Schnauzer on the side of the road. It turned out to be the pet dog of newcomer Chip Pekurny. Chip showed up to Saturday Night Fever in tears demanding an apology. Psycho Dragon refused to apologize, and the war began. As a fitting stipulation for this feud that all started over a dead dog, these two men will battle in a ring surrounded by livingh Schnauzers, which may or may not be cannibalized by the pack ofhungry Rottweilers that will also be surrounding the ring.

JOE: This is sick.

RAY: No, this is SWA.

BERENGER: Is there really a difference?

JOE: Shoo! Get away! Someone get this mangy mutt off of me.

RAY: One of the Schnauzers has begun humping Joe Aiello's leg.

JOE: Get this match underway already. Get off me!

ROTTWEILER/SCHNAUZER LUMBERJACK MATCH

PSYCHO DRAGON
-vs-
CHIP PEKURNY

---

The Theme music from Dallas plays and the crowd boos. CHIP PEKURNY walks down the aisle dressed in his usually wrestling gear, gym shorts and a sweater vest. CHIP hands out business cards on his way down to the ring. He rolls into the ring and tosses the remaining cards out to the crowd.

As the song plays, Psycho Dragon is seen slowly crawling from out of the entranceway on his hands and knees like a serpent. He kneels upwards and looks around at the crowd before he quickly gets up and jogs to the ring. He slides under the ropes and begins to crawl across the ring and goes on one of the turnbuckles, staring at the crowd again.


(The bell rings as we are underway. The two competitors look around the ring at the multiple dogs who are now surrounding the ring. We get a lock up and a go behind by Chip. Chip goes to toss Dragon out of the ring, but Dragon is blocking with all his might. Chip spins around Dragon before going to kick him in the groin, but Dragon catches his foot before giving him a capture suplex over the top. Chip lands on the ring apron as a huge rottweiler attempts to fight his leg. Chip jumps back into the ring before anything can happen to him. Dragon with a boot and goes to suplex Chip to the outside, but Chip blocks with a suplex of his own. Both men are up and Chip attempts to go for The Market Crash, but Dragon holds onto him and powerbombs Chip into a corner. Chip charges Dragon who backdrops him over the top turnbuckle to the outside. Chip looks around, but the dogs seem to be interested in something else sniffing around the announcers table.)

Ray: Looks like the dogs have something else going on.

Tom: I have no idea what is up.

(Chip gets back in the ring having no issues with the dogs. Dragon goes to send Chip to the outside once again, but this time Chip moves out of the way. Dragon gets the ropes and Chip rolls him up with a smallpackage

1



2


kickout by Dragon. Chip with a boot to the gut of Dragon and sets up for a powerbomb, but when Dragon is picked up he reverses into a hurricanrana! Chip is hunched over and Dragon goes for The Royale With Cheese, but Chip moves out of the way of the kick. Chip with an arm drag. Dragon up and gets a second arm drag. A third. Chip goes for a fourth, but this time Dragon is able to reverse into a monkey flip. Chip is up and is taken down with a running tornado DDT

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2


kickout by Chip. Chip is up and Dragon goes for another running tornado DDT, but this time Chip is able to throw Dragon over the top rope to the outside. Dragon is breathing heavy before slowly turning around to see that he is now surrounded by the dogs.)

Tom: This is bad.

Ray: We got a group of angry dogs out there.

(The biggest dog of the group walks up to Dragon and leaps on him. Dragon panics, but soon realizes that the dog is not attack, but licking him. Dragon can be heard laughing as the dogs all start to lick and play around with him as Chip stands in the ring with a look of confusion on his face. Dragon moves in closer to the ring and is grabbed by the top of his mask by Chip who brings him into the ring. Chip with a snap suplex. Chip off the ropes and comes back with a big splash into a cover

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2


kickout by Dragon. Both men are up and Chip with another snap suplex. Chip goes for another big splash, but Dragon gets his knees into the gut of Chip. Chip stumbles around and when from behind Dragon jumps onto his back and gives him a reverse rana! Dragon with a cover

1



2


kickout by Chip. Both men are up and Chip charges getting backdropped to the outside over the top rope by Dragon. Chip just smiles and starts to walk up to the dogs as Dragon gets out on the other side and grabs a bag. Dragon opens the bag and pulls out a piece of raw meat before tossing it onto Chip! The dogs go nuts attacking Chip while fighting with each other in an attempt to get to the piece of meat. Chip lets out a scream as he gets back in the ring.)

Tom: He saved himself there.

Ray: Pretty much. Those dogs would have mauled him.

Joe: Why is this one still stuck to my leg? They're human meat in there. Shoo. Shoo.

(Chip goes for Dragon again and this time is able to tackle him down to the mat before mounting and punching him. Chip gets off Dragon and goes for The Market Crash again and once again it is reversed when Dragon gives him an inverted atomic drop. Dragon goes up top and Psycho Star Press!!!!!!!!

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kickout by Chip. Chip gets to his feet and sneaks up behind him. Dragon goes for a german suplex, but chip backflips his way out of the move and lands on his feet. Chip his behind Dragon and gives him a half nelson backbreaker! Chip with a cover

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2






kickout by Dragon. Chip gets in the face of the ref and says that was a three count, but the ref says no. Dragon charges Chip from behind, but Chip moves out of the way and the ref gets knocked to the outside into the center of the group of dogs who are still fighting over the meat. Chip and Dragon stare out into the group as the ref screams for dear life. After about a minute the ref gets free with his shirt torn up and a bite on his left arm. The ref starts to make his way to the back. As he passes by one of the fans a small Chihuahua jumps and starts chasing him up the ramp. Chip and Dragon lock up again with Chip giving Dragon a field goal kick between the legs. Chip covers, but no ref!!!!!!!!! Chip looks around and from the back another ref runs in.

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kickout by Dragon! Both men are up and we get a double clothesline that puts them both back down.

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3







4





From the crowd a cat runs into the ring!!!!!!!!!!! The dogs are quick to follow. Both men are up and Dragon picks up the cat throwing it on Chip!!!!!!! Chip is getting scratched all over his face while a pack of dogs are attempting to get the cat. Chip eventually throws the cat off his now scratched up face and turns around into a Shoryuken! from Dragon

1









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3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


Winner: Psycho Dragon!


RAY: Psycho Dragon wins! Psycho Dragon wins! Psycho Dragon wins!

BERENGER: Those dogs followed that cat like me following spare change rolling down the street. Hey and on the plus side even that dog attached to Joe's leg is gone.

JOE: I feel so violated.

RAY: No time to feel violated right now. The show must go on!

JOE: Doesn't anyone have some hand sanitizer that I can spread on my leg or something?

RAY: Tom drank it for a buzz after the opening match.

BERENGER: Barely even felt it. Whta a ripoff.

RAY: Our next match is another return match for earlier this summer. The last time Gabreal Martin and “Geriatric” Waylon Hawthorne met it was in a Retiremement Home Brawl. That match ended in a no contest. In the weeks that followed Gabreal Martin continued to show his true laziness by avoiding challenges left right and center. His lame line of excuses kept him out of the ring for a large part of the summer. Last week he was called out by SWA staff member Michael Saint, and to preserve his pride Gabreal issued an open challenge to anyone on the SWA roster who would agree to face him.

JOE: Of course he already knew Larsen Van Der Kamp and Ian DeTornado were booked, so he wasn't exactly issuing a full open challenge.

RAY: Very true, When Gabreal tried to get involved in an altercation between Tornado and Larsen, “Geriatric” Waylon Hawthorne got in the middle and knocked Gabreal Martin down. He accepted Martin's open challenge, and that brings us here.

JOE: Anything goes, so hopefully we'll have a winner this time. Gabreal Martin vs Waylon Hawthorne Part II here at Apocalypse Now.

ANYTHING GOES

GABREAL MARTIN
-vs-
WAYLON HAWTHORNE

---

“The Last Saskatchewan Pirate” begins to play. Waylon walks out onto the stage and flexes his saggy old man muscles. Waylon walks down the aisle. About halfway to the ring he seems to forget what he’s doing. He looks around and sees the ring and suddenly remembers what he’s supposed to do. He climbs up onto the apron and steps through the ropes. He stands in the middle of the ring and does a dopey old man dance.

The lights in the arena go black as The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived (Variations On A Shaker Hymn) by Weezer plays on the PA

"You try to play it cool like you just don't care
But soon I'll be playin' in your underwear
I'm like a mage with the magic spell
You come like a dog when I ring your bell
I got the money and I got the fame
You've got the hots to ride on my plane
You've given me all that I desire
Cuz down with me I'm takin' you higher"

A spotlight is shown on Gabe as he walks to the ring.

"I'm baddest of the bad
I'm the best that you've ever had
I'm the tops, I'm the king
All the girls get up when I sing
I'm the meanest in the place
Step up, I'll mess with your face
I don't care where you are
Look up and follow this star"

Gabe gets in the ring posing for the crowd and the bell rings.


Both men square off in the middle of the ring, neither intimidated by the other. A sly smile creeps across Gabe's lips before he sucker punches Hawthorne in the jaw. A brawl breaks out between the two men. Hawthorne quickly gains the advantage as he pummels Gabe with lefts and rights. Hawthorne forces Gabe back into the turnbuckle, but Gabe ducks under the top rope, forcing the referee to push Hawthorne back with his assault. As Gabe comes back towards Hawthorne, Gabe throws a wild haymaker and slightly connects and temporarily dazing Hawthorne. Gabe quickly follows this up with a dropkick to the jaw of Hawthorne. As Hawthorne lies on the mat, Gabe stomps away at the extremities of Hawthorne. Gabe decides to slow down the pace of the match by locking in a half Boston Crab. Hawthorne reaches out for the bottom rope, but Gabe readjusts himself and pulls Hawthorne back towards the middle of the ring.

JOE: You know a man of Hawthorne's age is going to have a harder than reversing something like this.

RAY: Hawthorne is fighting for his life here!

JOE: Lets not exaggerate. It's only a Boston Crab.

BERENGER: Did someone say Crab?

Hawthorne refuses to submit and manages to kick Gabe off of him. Hawthorne slowly makes it to his feet as Gabe comes charging at him. Hawthorne catches Gabe in mid air as Gabe attempts a cross body block. Hawthorne takes two steps forward before tossing Gabe behind him like a rag doll. The bounce from the impact is enough for Gabe to roll out of the ring to the outside.

JOE: I love to see Gabreal take a fall like that.

RAY: Someone check if Gabreal is breathing!

JOE: Just take a few deep breaths, Ray. You're gonna burst a blood vessel. We're still in basic wrestling here.

Gabe slowly gets up and walks around the outside of the ring as Hawthorne stalks him from the inside of the ring. Gabe tries to enter the ring, but Hawthorne quickly cuts him off and stomps on his fingers. Finally Gabe rolls into the ring, but Hawthorne quickly stomps on him. Hawthorne grabs Gabe by the head and yanks him to his feet. Hawthorne grabs Gabe by the throat and throws him into the nearby corner. Hawthorne rushes over and hits an Avalanche Splash followed by a series of lefts and rights. Hawthorne lifts Gabe to the top turnbuckle and hooks in a Superplex, sending Gabe crashing down to the mat with a loud thud. Hawthorne covers Gabe.

Referee: 1..



2..





Gabe kicks out at two. Hawthorne slowly begins to rise to his feet and argue with the referee. Gabe takes advantage of this and pushes Hawthorne into the referee, knocking him down and out. Gabe quickly exits the ring and looks under the apron for a weapon as Hawthorne looks round, bewildered at what just happened.

RAY: What's he looking for under there?

BERENGER: If it's edible I get first dibs.

Hawthorne finally sees Gabe slide back into the ring with a steel chair. Gabe goes to swing the chair, but Hawthorne ducks the chair and knocks it out of Gabe's hands. Hawthorne punches Gabe in the head and than picks the chair up off of ground. Hawthorne cracks the chair over the head of Gabe and instantly the chair dents from the skull of Gabe. Gabe slumps to the mat as Hawthorne throws the chair out of the ring. Hawthorne exits the ring and pulls one monitor out of the announcer's table. Hawthorne turns and notices Gabe slowly sturring. Hawthorne rolls back in the ring and goes back on the attack. Instead of punishing Gabe with submission holds, Hawthorne picks Gabe up in the air and tosses him out of the ring towards the announcer's table. Gabe makes it to his feet when he notices Hawthorne climbing to the top turnbuckle. Hawthorne jumps from the top turnbuckle just as Gabe moves at the right moment and Hawthorne crashes into the announcer's table, whacking his own head off of the remaining monitor.

BERENGER: Oh man. I was watching that.

JOE: Someone help me. I'm still shackled to the table.

Making it groggily back to his feet, Hawthorne begins to bleed profusely from his forehead. Gabe runs and hits a running haymaker sending Hawthorne back a step. Gabe Irish Whips Hawthorne towards the ring steps and Hawthorne crashes into the steps with a loud bang. Gabe runs and tries too kick Hawthorne in the head, but Hawthorne backdrops Gabe over the steps. Gabe lands with a smack as Hawthorne grabs the ring steps. Hawthorne yanks the steps out of the corner and weakly tosses them at Gabe. Gabe rolls out of the way just in time as the steps land with a loud bang.

JOE: Seriously guys, I can't get up.

RAY: Shut up and let us watch the match!

A bloodied Gabe and Hawthorne roll back into the ring. Staggering to their feet, both men refuse to give up. Hawthorne throws a right punch that barely connects with Gabe's jaw. Staggering back a step, Gabe reacts with a stiff kick to the gut of Hawthorne. Hawthorne keels over and Gabe throws Hawthorne into the turnbuckle shoulder first. Hawthorne smacks into the turnbuckle and manages to pull himself out of the corner, only to have Gabe whip him into the other corner. Hawthrone slumps to the mat, leaning against the ropes. Gabe pauses for a moment to catch his breath and charges at Hawthrone.

RAY: Look out!

Gabe connects with a hard running knee strike, Hawthorne's neck snaps back from the impact. Gabe steps back, leaning over to catch his breath. Gabe pulls Hawthorne to his feet and hits him with a stiff uppercut, Hawthorne staggers back a bit but Gabe grabs him by the hair and knees him in the midsection. Hawthorne doubles over and Gabe executes The End Time, a Snap Double Arm DDT. Gabe slowly covers Hawthorne.

Referee:

1..






2..





3

Winner: Gabreal Martin


RAY: Gabreal Martin puts away the old man for good this time. Listen to the boos from these fans!

JOE: Please someone pick me up.

**Tom Berenger notices Joe Aiello lying on his back still shackled to the chair. He pulls him up.**

BERENGER: Geez. Why didn't you say something before.

RAY: Time for a short break as I take my pills! More action coming up! Two title matches still to come!

______________________

[Sedition: The Rev]

We see a luxurious cruise ship sailing out into the Ocean. As the helicopter cam slowly zooms in, the voices of the commentators can be heard.**

RAY: This is it. We're here at last. The SWA Extreme Combat Title, the most prestigious belt in any hardcore division anywhere in the world returns to our great sport.

JOE: Captain Insanity has won this title more than anyone else in SWA history.

RAY: Actually with 3 wins, he holds the records for most times any SWA competitor has won a singles title.

BERENGER: Big deal. I found that belt in a storage locker months ago and pawned it for $50.

RAY: What!?!?

JOE: It was YOU that pawned the Extreme Combat Title?

BERENGER: Yeah. I slept in a Motel 6 that night. It was sweet.

JOE: Do you realize it was when Captain Insanity discovered that his prized belt was pawned that he made it his mission to reclaim it? He's been on a mission ever since to win it back.

BERENGER: Heck of a story. If he wins it he'd better keep a close eye on it. I've been dying to try the Motel 8.

RAY: Captain Insanity has experienced something of a career revival since he found that belt pawned. He's destroyed a lot of SWA's competition, including a huge win over Larsen Van Der Kamp a few weeks ago. Only one man has eluded him. Teen Throb. This will be the 3rds time they've met, and Teen Throb has been victorious both of the previous times.

JOE: Although the point has been made that the first time he had to lock Insanity in the trunk of a car, and the second time Teen Throb and his boy band jumped Insanity in the parking lot, nearly putting him in the hospital before the match.

RAY: But that's what Extreme Combat is all about! The violence! The blood and broken bones! The total disregard for public property! It's all so barbaric!

JOE: Now we're about to see a first in this sport. A Battle on a Sinking Cruise Ship. As you can now see on your screen, Teen Throb and Captain Insanity are both on the deck of that ship, waiting for the bell to ring. Both will stop at nothing to become the new Extreme Combat Champion. The wait is over. We're about to crown on of these men the new Extreme Combat Champion. Only the most barbaric will survive.

BERENGER: Should someone tell those passengers they're about to be sunk?

EXTREME COMBAT CHAMPIONSHIP
BRAWL ON A SINKING CRUISE SHIP

CAPTAIN INSANITY
-vs-
TEEN THROB

---

The ship's horn blows to signal the start of the match. Captain Insanity and Teen Throb rush toward each other with fury in their eyes. They tackle each other to the ground and roll around on the ship deck. Teen Throb picks CI up and they lock up in a grapple. It's only seconds into the grapple that the two challengers are thrown apart by a huge blast from the starboard side of the cruise ship. A camera on the side catches the explosion. From the blast a hole has been blown in the side of the cruise ship. The passengers and crew all start screaming.

JOE: I guess they all forgot that this is a Battle on a SINKING Cruise Ship.

RAY: I have a feeling if anyone on that ship had seen SWA TV they wouldn't have booked a ticket.

BERENGER: Serves those snobs right for having media and human decency standards. Next time they'll think twice and check out the show.

As the ship's crew all begin trying to calmly lead the passengers onto the life boats, Teen Throib and Captain Insanity are right back at it. CI DDT's Teen Throb onto the wooden deck. He picks Teen Throb up and whips him across the deck. Teen Throb plows through some frantic passengers and hits a door. CI grabs Teen Throb by the back of the head and bashes his face against the door. The door suddenly swings open right into Teen Throb's face. A hyper passenger screams “We're all gonna die!” and pushes past Teen Throb and CI. Teen Throb is down on the ground. CI approaches him and Teen Throb ties his legs up around CI's ankles, bringing him down with a Drop Toe Hold. CI falls forward and hits the side of his head against the bow of one of the life boats. The wood from the bow splinters upon impact. Teen Throb is on his feet grabbing Captain Insanity. Teen Throb scoops CI up and delivers a Backbreaker across the side of the ship rail. He covers CI. The ref pushes past the fleeing passengers and counts.

1....








2..









Captain Insanity kicks out. Teen Throb is picking CI up again. He scoops CI up again and carries him across the deck. Teen Throb finds a fat woman without a life preserver desperately trying to break open one of those glass cases with a ringed flotation device inside. He increases his speed and rams CI's head into the glass case like a battering ram, shattering the glass. Teen Throb drops CI and turns to the fat woman. She says “Thank you” and reaches for the flotation ring. Teen Throb pushes the fat lady to the floor and grabs the flotation ring for himself.

JOE: What a gentleman.

Teen Throb is trying to slip the flotation ring over his head, but the water being taken onto the ship has change the angle it's sinking at and Teen Throb loses his footing. CI has grabbed hold of the railing and pulled himself to his feet. Teen Throb is rolling around on the deck trying to get back up. He stands and comes face to face with the fat woman he shoved over. She has a large wooden paddle in her hand. She winds up and clocks Teen Throb in the head with the paddle. He spins around and lands right in Captain Insanity's arms. CI picks Teen Throb up and delivers a Brainbuster. CI now goes for the cover.

1....






2...






Teen Throb kicks out. The ship is starting to tilt now as t5he starboard side floods. CI kicks open a door. He then waits for Teen Throb to stand up and lunges forward, Spearing Teen Throb through the open door. In the dark on the other side is a set of stairs going down. They both tumble down the stairs. They're now in a Dining Room area. The ship's band is still trying to play on stage as the angle of the ship continues to tilt with the sinking. They're in the middle of an instrumental rendition of “Michael Row Your Boat Ashore”

RAY: It's hard to make light in a situation like this, but you gotta admit that's a catchy tune!

JOE: I wonder if they'll take any requests.

BERENGER: Looks like the sinking interrupted dinner service. I'm wondering if the winner can bring me back some of those dinner rolls. I don't care if they're soggy.

Captain Insanity is the first one onto his feet. He grabs one of the chairs and breaks it across Teen Throb's back. He then grabs Teen Throb from behind the chin and applies a Sleeper Hold. Teen Throb fights to break free but he's slowly slipping into dreamland. CI applies more pressure while struggling to stay on his feet. The band members start to slide down the stage as the ship tilts some more. The few remaining passengers inside crawl to the exit stairs. Teen Throb looks to be out cold. The referee comes over to try and check Teen Throb's vital signs, but he's having trouble keeping his balance. Captain Insanity lets go of the Sleeper and Teen Throb hits the floor like he's comatose. Captain Insanity drags Teen Throb by the ankle towards the stage. He throws Teen Throb onto the stage as the band begins to play Bobby Darin's “Beyond the Sea”. Captain Insanity climbs onto the stage and bends Teen Throb down. He lifts him up over his shoulders in a Running Powerbomb as he charges across the stage into the band. CI delivers the Insanity Bomb, ramming Teen Throb right into the drum kit. The drums break apart and the rest of the band pathetically try to continue with “Beyond the Sea” without a proper rhythm.

JOE: He just Insanity Bombed him into the drums. That's gotta be it.

RAY: It's all over for Teen Throb!

Before Captain Insanity can make the cover, the ship has a drastic shift in angle and the grand piano on the other edge of the stage slides across it and slams right into Captain Insanity. The grand piano pushes CI's body off the stage and pins him against the wall.

RAY: God almighty, Captain Insanity is stuck! Look at that, the water's starting to rush in!

As CI tries to free himself from the piano, water begins to pour into the dining room. The side of the room CI is pinned on floods with water. It's soon half way up his body. Teen Throb is starting to come around as he kicks the drums off of his body.

RAY: If Captain Insanity can't free himself fast, he'll drown!

BERENGER: So by default, Teen Throb would win the title?

JOE: Yes. For those watching at home who care more about a decisive victory than the value of human life, that's what wou;d happen.

RAY: You know SWA fans. They want the decisive victory.

Captain Insanity is now up to his neck. Teen Throb sees this and runs over to him. Teen Throb positions himself next to CI as the water comes up over his mouth.

JOE: Is he going to help break Insanity free?

The answer to this is clearly NO, as Teen Throb is actually pinning Captain Insanity below the water level and calling for the referee to come over and make the count. The ref however screams “Someone save me!” and swims across the dining room toward the exit stairs. Teen Throb rolls his eyes and pulls Captain Insanity free from the piano. Captain Insanity's head comes up over the water level for air and he gasps to catch a breath. Teen Throb is swimming to the exit. Captain Insanity follows. Captain Insanity jumps on Teen Throb's back and dunks him under the water. He swims ahead. Teen Throb comes up and jumps on CI's back, dunking him under the water and swimming ahead. They continue to try and drown each other on the way to the stairs.

JOE: Tell me why Rev and Gladiator would book a match like this? What's the benefit to having both of your stars die on live Pay Per View?

RAY: Aside from doubling the buy rate for the replay, my guess would be they'd save on funeral costs. A funeral at sea is much cheaper.

JOE: True enough. Burial plots are outrageously priced.

Teen Throb and Captain Insanity both reach the exit stairs at the same time. They push and shove past each other as they race up the stairs and back onto the deck, which is almost completely slanted. Teen Throb grabs Captain Insanity and delivers an Alabama Slam. He grabs the ref who is trying to jump into the last life boat. Teen Throb make sthe cover. The ref is on the verge of tears as he drops down and makes a quick count.

1...


2...


Captain Insanity kicks out. The ref tries to jump into the life boat again. Teen Throb grabs him and holds him back. Teen Throb and the ref are in the middle of a heated argument as Captain Insanity grabs Teen Throb from behind and executes a Belly to Back Suplex. He covers Teen Throb. The ref again drops down for the count.

1...




2...






The referee's body slides down the tilted deck and into the water. Captain Insanity grabs hold of the railing as the ship's angle becomes too harsh to stay on his feet. Teen Throb grabs hold of the railing as well. Both of them hold on for dear life as the ship's bow raises up on a 435 degree angle and the cruise ship starts to drop into the ocean. Captain Insanity and Teen Throb are exchanging blows as the ship slips into the ocean. CI and Teen Throb go down with it.

RAY: Where did they go?

JOE: They're under there somewhere. The question is whether or not they'll make it back up for air. The pull of that ship is strong and neither man had a life preserver.

Ten seconds pass with no sign of either man. All the life boats start to row away from the spot the ship went down at. 20 seconds pass, still nothing. After 30 seconds a head pops up out of the water. It's Teen Throb. He swims for the nearest life boat. Not even a few feet into his swim his body is dragged under again. Suddenly Captain Insanity's head pops up out of the water. It looks like he's trying to hold Teen Throb down. Captain Insanity swims for the life boat. Now Teen Throb is up again and they both start to fight in the water as they drift toward the life boat.

BERENGER: At this rate they'll both drown before a winner can be declared.

Captain Insanity and Teen Throb are both within a few feet of a life boat. One of the passengers in the life boat sticks the long paddle out for the men to grab on to. Captain Insanity grabs onto it first. The passenger uses the paddle to pull CI onto the life boat. Teen Throb has grabbed onto CI's ankle to pull himself in. CI tries to kick Teen Throb off as he climbs onto the life boat. Teen Throb manages to make it on board as well. CI grabs the paddle away from the kind passenger and swings it at Teen Throb. Teen Throb ducks and it hits the passenger instead. He flies into the water. Teen Throb knees CI in the groin and CI doubles over in pain. Teen Throb locks him in and delivers a Twist of Fate. The impact is so hard that there's a pop in the inflated life boat and it starts to deflate.

RAY: They're going down again!

As the dozen or so passengers on the quickly deflating life boat start to dive into the water, Teen Throb covers Captain Insanity. The ref swims over coughing from all the water he swallowed and he makes a very weak count.

1...








2...









3!


Winner: and NEW Extreme Combat Champion, Teen Throb!!!

Teen Throb stands on his feet with his hands raised high in the air. He stomps on Captain Insanity as the nearly fully deflated life boat goes under. Teen Throb finds the same fat lady he fought with earlier. He grabs the flotation ring from out of her hand and pushes her into the water. Teen Throb dives in and swims away as the trumpet player from the cruise ship band plays a gurgly sounding rendition of “Babe You Know You Want Me” as he struggles to tread water. Teen Throb reaches floats in the water celebrating as the referee tosses him the SWA Extreme Combat Title.

RAY: What an ending! That was unbelievable! The action! The excitement!

JOE: The loss of human life. How many of those passengers drown so that our fans could be entertained?

RAY: Who cares. Those guys put on a spectacular show!

BERENGER: We have a new Extreme Combat Champion. One more Championship to go.

_____________________

[Sedition: The Rev]

_____________________

**Larsen Van Der Kamp is shown behind the entrance curtain waiting. SWA interviewer Travis Mallow approaches him with a microphone in hand.**

TRAVIS: Larsen, it was at our last Pay Per View, Spring Breakdown, where you met Ian DeTornado in the finals of the tournament. He defeated you and Gabreal Martin to become the new SWA champion. Since then you and he have fought at least once in a Non-Title match where you defeated him. Do you believe you have what it takes to win the Championship, or will Tornado make this another Pay Per View with his hand raised over yours in the end?

**Larsen Van Der Kamp stares at Travis Malloy. He then shoves him to the ground with a hard push. Travis picks himself back up and dusts himself off.**

TRAVIS: Good talking with you. Lets see if the Champion has something more to say.

**Travis Malloy walks down the hall and stops in front of the dressing room marked SWA Champion. He's about to knock on the door when Ian DeTornado himself opens the door. He stands before Travis with the SWA Championship belt around his waist.**

TRAVIS: Champion, just one quick question before you head out to the ring. You shocked the world by winning 3 matches in one night at Spring Breakdown, but since then you've been unsuccessful in defeating Larsen Van Der Kamp in Non-Title bouts. Are you saving your best for when the title is on the line, or has Van Der Kamp just become too tough for you to deal with?

TORNADO: Baboy ka! Ang baho mo!

**Tornado slaps Mallow across the face knocking him to the ground. He laughs at Malloy as he walks away from him.**

TRAVIS: Back to you at ringside.

____________________

JOE: I think Travis covered it all there. The feud between these two has intensified over the past few weeks, but the root of their issues still remains to be the gold, which is currently in Ian DeTornado's possession. Tornado and Van Der Kamp have exchanged victories over the last couple of months. Now they'll have to win the best 2 out of 3 falls tonight to win the belt. 1st Fall is traditional rules, second fall Extreme rules, 3rd fall...... all bets are off, as falls will count anywhere. Lets go down to the ring for the SWA Championship Match.

SWA CHAMPIONSHIP
BEST TWO OUT OF THREE FALLS
(1st- Traditional Rules, 2nd- Extreme Rules, 3rd- Falls Count Anywhere)

IAN DE TORNADO
-vs-
LARSEN VAN DER KAMP

---

"New Divide" by Linkin Park plays over the P.A. A mix of cheers and jeers come from the crowd. Larsen walks towards the ring, completely unaffected by the crowd's reaction. He walks to the ring slowly keeping his eyes straight ahead the whole time. He climbs into the ring and sits himself on the top turnbuckle as he awaits the beginning of the match.

VIRGIL: Introducing first, the challenger, hailing from a place he doesn’t remember, but currently residing in Johannesburg, South Africa, Weighing in at 229 lbs, LARSEN VAN DER KAMP!!!

As the intro of his Theme song plays through the P.A., Red and Blue smoke effects covers the entrance stage... Then from the middle of the smoke a (Philippine infamous) jeepney will drive from the entrance to the middle of the ramp.

then upon reaching the middle of the ramp, ianzky will jump off from the driver's seat and will climb the ring post, point to the audience before doing a back flip towards the middle of the ring.

VIRGIL: And his opponent, Hailing from the city of Manila in the Philipines, Weighing in at a slender 180 lbs, He is the SWA Champion, “The Tropical Tornado” IAN DETORNADO!!!

Tornado hands his title belt over to the ref. The ref raises the belt in the air and hands it off to the timekeeper. The ref signals for the opening bell and the action begins. Larsen charges at Tornado and hits him with a flying forearm. He mounts himself on top of Tornado and nails him with a series of punches to the head. Larsen picks Tornado off the mat and whips him off the ropes. Tornado bounces off the ropes and Larsen hits him with a Dropkick. Larsen picks Tornado up and applies a side headlock. Tornado shoves Larsen towards the ropes and Tornado catches him in a Sleeper Hold on the rebound. Larsen lifts Tornado off the mat and backs into the corner, smashing Tornado into the turnbuckle. Tornado releases the Sleeper hold and Larsen places him on the top turnbuckle. Larsen climbs up and sets Tornado up for Superplex, but Tornado shoves Larsen off the top rope. Larsen hits the mat. Tornado stands up on the top rope and dives off with a Guillotine Leg Drop, but Larsen rolls out of the way. Tornado crashes down on the canvas. Larsen picks him up and delivers a Piledriver. Larsen goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Tornado kicks out. Larsen picks him up and delivers a Bridging Northern Lights Suplex for the pin,

1...

2...

Tornado kicks out. Larsen climbs up on the top rope. He dives off and drops down on Tornado with a flying Elbow Smash. Larsen goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Tornado kicks out.

RAY: An amazing start to the match so far. Both men seem determined to finish it early.

AIELLO: It's in their best interest to finish it early. They've got at least one more fall to go.

TOM: Oh man! I hope the match doesn't go to long. All the good dumpsters are usually taken by 11:00.

Tornado rolls out on the apron to regroup. Larsen charges against the ropes and kicks Tornado onto the floor with a Baseball Slide. Tornado gets right back up and climbs onto the apron again. Seperated by the ropes, Larsen grabs Tornado's head and gives him a headbutt that knocks him back onto the floor. Tornado gets back on his feet and climbs onto the apron. Larsen again charges toward the ropes to knock Tornado over. Larsen attempts to Spear Tornado through the ropes, but Tornado steps out of the way and Larsen flies right through the ropes. He hits his head on the barricade on the outside. Tornado climbs into the ring to regroup. Larsen is rolling over outside the ring. He appears semi-concious. The ref begins counting him out,

1................

2................

3................

4................

Tornado rolls out of the ring. He picks Larsen up and tosses him back into the ring. Tornado rolls in after him.

TOM: Joe, what was the strange thing the referee was doing?

AIELLO: It's called a count out Tom. In traditional wrestling rules if a wrestler was outside of the ring the referee would begin the countout. If he did not get back in the ring after 10 seconds the match would be ruled a count out.

RAY: A count out in the SWA. Now I've seen everything.

Tornado picks Larsen up off the mat and engages in a lockup. Tornado twists Larsen's arm and boots him to the midsection. Tornado locks Tornado under his arm and lifts him up in a Standing Suplex. Tornado hangs him for several seconds, and then drops him down on the mat with a Brainbuster. Tornado runs towards the ropes. He springboards off the second rope and attempts a Lionsault, but Larsen gets his knees up. Tornado drops down on Larsen's knees and gets a knee to the ribs. Larsen gets up to his feet. He picks Tornado up and whips him off the ropes. Tornado rebounds off the ropes and Larsen catches him with a Belly to Belly Suplex. Larsen leaps onto the top rope. He steadies himself and then leaps off with a Frog Splash. As he drops down Tornado gets his knees up Larsen gets a knee to the ribs.

RAY: Bodies flying everywhere. You can only find this kind of excitement in the SWA!

TOM: You should see the action when they run out of soup at the mission.

AIELLO: Shhhh. Don't give Rev and Gladiator any ideas.

Tornado picks Larsen up and backs him into the corner. He takes Larsen by the arm and whips him across the ring into the corner on the other side. Tornado sprints across the ring toward Larsen. As Tornado nears the corner, Larsen drops down to the mat and catches Tornado with a Drop Toe Hold. Tornado falls forward and smashes his face against the bottom turnbuckle. Larsen picks Tornado up and executes an Inverted Atomic Drop. Tornado holds his groin in pain and Larsen scoops him up, and drops Tornado on his knee with a Back Breaker. Tornado lies face down on the mat. Larsen drops several knees onto Tornado's back. Tornado holds his back in pain. Larsen sits on Tornado's back and grabs both of his legs. Larsen pulls up on Tornado's legs with an Elevated Boston Crab. Larsen stretches further and further back applying more pressure. The ref is down on the mat asking Tornado if he wants to tap out. Tornado refuses to give up. Tornado begins to slowly crawl to the ropes. As Tornado inches closer and closer, Larsen leans further back increasing the amount of pressure. Tornado finally reaches out his hand and places it on the bottom rope. The ref tells Larsen to break the hold, but Larsen doesn't listen. The ref begins to count, 1... 2... 3... 4... Larsen releases the hold.

TOM: Uhhh Joe, I have another question.

AIELLO: In traditional wrestling if a submission hold is applied and the person in the hold reaches the ropes, the hold must be released in 5 seconds or the person applying it would be disqualified.

RAY: Incredible!

Larsen gets up on his feet. He picks Tornado up and delivers a T-Bone Suplex. Larsen climbs up on the top rope and leaps off. He drops down on Tornado with a Flipping Leg Drop. Larsen goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Tornado kicks out. Larsen grabs Tornado by the leg and applies a STF. Tornado again reaches forward to try and grab the ropes, but he's right in the middle of the ring, and the ropes are out of his reach. The ref gets in position to watch for the tap out. Tornado puts both of his hands on the mat and pushes up off the mat. He slowly makes his way over to the ropes and grabs on. Larsen releases the hold. Tornado starts to get up on his feet. Larsen starts booting Tornado to the head as he tries to pull himself up by the ropes. Tornado gets up on his feet and Larsen goes for a punch. Tornado blocks the punch and hits Larsen with a few punches of his own. Tornado bounces off the ropes, but Larsen hits him with a Clothesline on the rebound. Larsen picks Tornado up and delivers a Gutwrench Powerbomb. Larsen goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Tornado gets his shoulder up.

AIELLO: Van Der Kamp is in firm control, but he just can't seem to be able to put the champ away.

RAY: Ian DeTornado is showing amazing tenacity in this slobberknocker.

Larsen picks Tornado up and sets him up for a Suplex. Larsen lifts Tornado up in the air with a Vertical Suplex, but he drops him forward into a Facebuster. Larsen goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Tornado kicks out. Larsen climbs up on the top rope as Tornado slowly gets up on his feet. Larsen flies off the top rope and nails him with a Missile Dropkick. Larsen goes for the cover again,

1...

2...

Tornado kicks out. Larsen drags Tornado to the corner. He leaps up to the top rope and drops down on Tornado with THE MEMORY REMAINS. Larsen goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Tornado gets his foot up on the bottom rope. Larsen gets up on his knees. He slams his hands down on the mat. He stands up and looks down at Tornado with a look of frustration.

RAY: What more does the challenger have to do to put the champion down for the count?

TOM: Just get him to drink a full bottle of Nyquil. I did that once, slept like a baby.

AIELLO: Why am I not shocked to here you say that?

Larsen drops ddown to the mat and rolls out of the ring. He grabs a steel chair. Larsen rolls back into the ring with chair in hand. Larsen waits as Tornado slowly gets up on his feet. Larsen raises the chair over his head and prepares to swing. The ref grabs the chair and yanks it out of Larsen's hands. Larsen turns and argues with the ref. Tornado gets up on his feet. He grabs Larsen from behind and delivers a German Suplex. Tornado jumps up on the top rope and leaps off. He drops down on Larsen with the TORNADOSSAULT. Tornado goes for the cover,

1...

2...

3!!!

Ian DeTornado - 1 / Larsen Van Der Kamp - 0

[/b]


RAY: Ian DeTornado has a 1 fall advantage. If he can win the next fall he will retain the SWA Championship.

Larsen and Tornado both are up again. Tornado whips Larsen into the ropes. Tornado throws himself off the opposite ropes and attempts to hit Larsen with a Clothesline. Larsen ducks under it and hoists Tornado's body over his shoulders with a Fireman's Carry. Larsen dumps Tornado over the top rope and he drops to the floor outside. Larsen gets a running start and throws himself over the top rope with a Suicide Dive to the outside. He spins in the air and nails Tornado with a Corkscrew Cross Body Block.

RAY: I have a feeling this is about to get ugly.

AIELLO: I have a feeling this is going to get really ugly.

TOM: And I have a feeling that the only dumpster left for me will be the one behind Denny's. Won't this match ever end?

Larsen picks Tornado up and whips him into the steel cornerpost. Larsen throws the ring announcer out of his chair and sets the chair up a few feet away from Tornado. Larsen gets a running start and steps off the chair, jumping high in the air and flying toward Tornado. Tornado takes the top piece off of the steel ring steps and throws it at the airborn body of Larsen. The steps hit Larsen and he falls. Tornado shakes off the cobwebs and searches for a weapon. He snatches the water pitcher from off the broadcast table. Tornado throws the water pitcher at Larsen, but Larsen catches it. Larsen smashes the pitcher against the broadcast table and the glass shatters. Larsen picks up a piece of glass and lunges towards Tornado with it. Tornado kicks Larsen's hand and knocks the pieco of glass out of his hand. Tornado runs towards Larsen, but Larsen hits him with a knee to the gut. Larsen grabs Tornado by the head and slams it down face first into the pile of glass on the broadcast table. Tornado drops to the ground with pieces of glass sticking out of his face.

RAY: I can't believe my eyes. Never in my life have I seen anything like this.

AIELLO: Boy, Van Der Kamp wasn't kidding when he said he would do whatever it took to win.

Larsen grabs a steel chair. He places it on Tornado's head. Larsen reaches under the ring and pulls out a sledgehammer. Larsen holds the sledgehammer up over his head and drives it down onto the chair, crushing Tornado's head underneath and driving the glass shards further into his skin. Larsen holds the sldgehammer up in the air and again drives it onto the chair. Larsen drops the sledgehammer. He picks up the lifeless body of Tornado, who is now a bloody mess and drags him over to the broadcast table. Larsen climbs up on the broadcast table and pulls Tornado up with him. Larsen drives Tornado's head throught the table with an Inverted Piledriver.

AIELLO: And in typical SWA fashion we have lost out broadcast table... again.

RAY: But that's what makes the SWA so spectacular. These men are willing to put their bodies on the line and sacrifice themselves all for the glory of victory.

TOM: Personally, I think they do it for the money.

Larsen picks Tornado up and throws him ito the ring. Larsen climbs into the ring and goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Tornado gets his shoulder up. Larsen picks Tornado up and climbs up on the top rope. Larsen grabs Tornado by the head and delivers a Tornado DDT. Larsen goes for the cover,

1...

2...

Tornado kicks out. Larsen rolls out of the ring. He throws the sledgehammer into the ring. He throws the steel chair into the ring. He then reaches under the ring and pulls out a stack of tables. He slides them into the ring. Larsen rolls into the ring. He picks up the sledgehammer as Tornado gets up to his feet. Larsen runs at Tornado and dives towards him. Larsen nails Tornado over the head with the sledgehammer while flying through the air.

RAY: Larsen Van Der Kamp is brutalizing Ian DeTornado.

TOM: I haven't seen a beating like this since security found me nosing around the set of The Substitute 4.

AIELLO: Tom, one of these days you need to deal with your anger towards Treat Williams.

Larsen takes a table and sets it up in the middle of the ring. He takes a second table and stacks it on top of the other. Larsen rolls out of the ring. He reaches underneath and pulls out a Ladder. Larsen slides the ladder into the ring and rolls in after it. Larsen sets the ladder up beside the tables. Larsen lifts Tornado up over his head and places him on top of the second table. Larsen climbs up the ladder on the outside. As he nears the top Tornado gets up on his feet and stands on the top of the table. He waits until Larsen reaches the top. Tornado then jumps in the air and hits Larsen with a Flying Clothesline. Larsen falls off the ladder to the outside of the ring and crashes through the Spanish Announce Table.

SPANISH ANNOUNCER: Renuncio a este trabajo!

Tornado also falls and hits the canvas hard. The fans are erupting with chants of SWA! SWA! SWA! Both men lie motionless for nearly a minute. Tornado rolls out of the ring. He picks Larsen up and throws him into the ring. Tornado rolls in after him. Tornado picks Larsen up and drags him up the ladder. Tornado reaches the top of the stack of tables and places Larsen on top of it. Tornado climbs to the top of the ladder. Tornado leaps off the ladder with a 450 Splash, but Larsen rolls off the table in the nick of time. Larsen drops down and hits the mat hard, but Tornado crashes through both tables. The fans again erupt with their drunken chanting. Larsen slowly rolls through the wreckage of the tables and goes for the cover,

1...

2...

3!!!

Ian DeTornado - 1 / Larsen Van Der Kamp - 1

RAY: I’m so excited! One more fall left! I think I’m gonna burst!

Larsen rolls out of the ring. He lies on the gorund outside the ring trying to get his bearings. Tornado is hardly showing any signs of life at all. Larsen slowly gets up on his feet and Tornado does the same. Tornado gets up and notices Larsen on the outside. Tornado walks towards the ropes. Larsen grabs his feet and trips him down to the mat. Larsen drags Tornado out of the ring. He lifts Tornado up and whips him to the guardrail. Larsen charges at the rail and Clotheslines Tornado over it. Larsen climbs up on the rail. Tornado slowly gets to his feet. Larsen jumps off the rail and hits Tornado with a Cross Body Block. Larsen goes for the cover,

1…

2…

An overly excited Ian DeTornado fan shoves Larsen to break up the count. Larsen gets up and stares at the fan. He grabs him by the collar of the shirt and prepares to strike him, but Tornado comes from behind and rolls Larsen up with a School Boy for the pin attempt,

1…

2…

Larsen kicks out.

AIELLO: Where are these two men finding the strength to keep fighting after what they’ve been through tonight.

RAY: I’ll tell you where. It comes from a little place in the pit of your stomach called determination. It shows itself when a man has given all he has and has nothing left to give but his soul.

TOM: That was beautiful Ray.

Tornado gets up on his feet. He waits as Larsen gets up. Tornado attempts a Superkick, but Larsen pulls the same fan who broke up the pin infront of him, and the fan takes a kick to the jaw. Tornado checks on the fan who lies out cold on the concrete. Larsen grabs a steel chair. He folds it and cracks Tornado across the back with it. Larsen lies the chair down on the floor. He grabs Tornado by the head and drives his head into the chair with an Elevated DDT. Larsen goes for another cover,

1…

2…

Tornado barely gets his shoulder up. Larsen gets angry. He picks up the referee. He takes the referee by the head and headbutts him. The ref drops to the ground and Larsen gives him a few boots to the head.

AIELLO: This is starting to get out of hand. First Larsen uses a fan as shield, now he’s attacking the referee. What has happened to Larsen Van Der Kamp?

RAY: He’s sick! The man is sick! They outta lock him up in an asylum!

TOM: Nah, those places are over rated. I got the kitchen staff to give me there left over scraps, and I tell you the food they serve is horrible.

Tornado comes from behind and nails Larsen in the back with a steel chair. Larsen trips over the referee and tumbles over the guardrail and into the aisle. Tornado uses the guardrail to slingshot himself onto Larsen with a Leg Drop. Tornado goes for the cover and a new ref gets in position,

1…

2…

Larsen gets his shoulder up. Tornado picks Larsen up and drags him up the ramp. Tornado picks Larsen up in a Powerbomb and drops him down to the concrete with a Sitout Powerbomb. Tornado goes for another cover,

1…

2…

Larsen kicks out. Tornado picks him up and drags him to the edge of the ramp. Tornado sets him up for a Suplex, but Larsen hits him with a stiff shot to the kidney’s. Larsen lifts Tornado up in a Suplex and drops him face first. Tornado drops off the stage and crashes face first down on the concrete below. Larsen stands on the edge of the stage with his back to Tornado. He jumps off and drops down on Tornado with an Asai Moonsault. Larsen rolls Tornado over and goes for another cover,

1…

2…

Tornado barely gets his shoulder up.

AIELLO: Somehow, someway, one of these men is going to find a way to finish this match.

RAY: These two men have been in a war. What more can they have to give?

TOM: And how!

AIELLO: Dynamite drop in Tom.

Larsen gets up on his feet. He looks down at Tornado who is hardly moving. He then looks up at the upper deck. A sick smile creeps across his face. Larsen finds a conveniently placed ladder that lleads to the upper deck. He begins to climb. Tornado slowly rises to his feet. He looks at Larsen climbing the ladder and decides to take the stairs. Tornado reaches the top first and crouches behind some seats. Larsen reaches the top and looks down. He is confused when he sees Tornado is not there. Tornado jumps out from behind the seats. He hits Larsen with a Supekick. Larsen tries to balance himself at the edge of the deck, but he loses his balance and plummets down to the concrete. Tornado steadies himself on the edge. He points down to Larsen and the crowd goes nuts. Tornado leaps off the balcony and drops down with a TORNADOSSAULT. He splashes down on Larsen with amazing impact. Tornado takes a lot of damage in the fall, but he manages to drape on arm over Larsen. The ref goes for the count,

1…





2…







3!!!

VIRGIL: Here is your winner, and still SWA Champion, IAN DETORNADO!!!


RAY: The Champ wins it! Tornado retains!

JOE: These guys look like they've been through everything except for a Nuclear explosion.

BERENGER: What a main event. What a show. Can I get paid now?

RAY: Ian DeTornado wins the 3rd fall, and this show is over folks. Joe will be back next week on Saturday Night Fever, where I'm sure we'll see some of the fallout from Apocalypse Now. We'll be back on Pay Per View with the long awaited SADISTIC RAGE III, coming this Fall. Thank you for being a part of this huge event. Goodnight! Someone get me my ritalin.

Copyright: 2010 Sedition Production

________________________________________

Ian DeTornado vs Van Der Kamp (written by Gladiator)
Teen Throb vs Captain Insanity (written by The Rev)
Gabreal Martin vs Waylon Hawthorne (written by Taylor M)
Psycho Dragon vs Chip Pekurny (written by Michael Saint)
Danny O'Callahan vs Duke Wallace (written by Gladiator)
Ultimo Doom vs Branden Harvey (written by Taylor M)