Sink or Swim

[Captain Insanity]

Toronto, Canada
Tuesday

- Captain Insanity turns the key in the lock of his apartment door, pushing the door open he instantly regrets it. Got Milk? is sitting on the couch moo'ing and sobbing as they watch the ending of Titanic. Insanity tosses his keys on the counter and pulls open the fridge and extracts a cold beer. -

Cow #1: Moooooo Mooooo Mooooooo

Cow #2: Moooooooooooooooooooo!

CI: Would you idiots give it a rest! I've told you a million times my match isn't going to end up like the damn Titanic. Sure the boat will sink, Teen Throb might drown but I'll be fine. Actually you know what it might end like the movie. I can picture Teen Throb on the door, one of his band buddies floating in the water, holding each others hands.

- Insanity chuckles and then instantly shudders at the thought.-

Cow #1: MoooOOooo. Moooo moo moooo moooo

CI: Oh, well fuck you very much too. Alright, I'll see about making arrangements about you becoming roster members before that match, that way if I die you won't be without a job.

- Insanity walks out of the room as Got Milk? turns their attention back to the TV, pleased with the possibility of becoming roster members.-

Toronto, Canada
Friday

- Captain Insanity pushes open the door of the local Bass Pro Shops door, stepping inside of the large outdoors-man store he glances around briefly before he starts wander around. After a few moments a store employee approaches him. -

Employee: Can I help you find something sir?

CI: Actually, yes. I'm looking for a life jacket and inflatable safety raft.

Employee: Going to be doing some rafting and swimming?

CI: No. A co-worker is going to need these things so he doesn't drown this weekend.

Employee: Okay..... follow me.

- The store employee leads Insanity to the boating section where he finds a selection of life jackets and rafts. -

CI: Thanks, I can manage from here.

- The employee walks away as Insanity picks up a kids life jacket and a small inflatable raft. -

CI: These should help that little pansy from dying.

- Insanity starts to walk away but stops for a moment and picks up a set of water wings. -

CI: Better get him these to be safe.

- Insanity heads to the check out, ignoring the weird look from the cashier as she rings up the items. Insanity pays and heads back out of the store. -

CI: Apocalypse Now, a sinking Cruise Ship battle, Sink or Swim. You couldn't ask for a more fitting match. Win and become champion or sink to the bottom, the chance for glory or a finale of a drowning career.

Teen Throb,most of the time you just ramble about nothing of interest or worth, but this week you managed to actually make a a valid point. You are right about the stature of the Extreme Combat title, it does stand about the World title. It takes a certain kind of man to hold this championship, you have to be willing to lay everything on the line, and in the SWA that means your life. What risk of death comes with the World title? None, unless by some chance there's a stipulation of some sort. The Extreme title comes with a guaranteed risk, a forecast of blood and pain. Teen Throb is right, to hold the Extreme Combat title you do indeed need to be a titan.

Teen Throb might have also been right about the stats of our previous matches, but let's put it into some perspective shall we? Firstly, at the SWA tribute show, he had to lock me into the truck of a car to defeat me, he couldn't do it himself. Which that actually brings me to our next match. In order to defeat me he and his band of boy band losers had to jump me in the parking lot and I still managed to make it out for the match despite my condition.

You see Teen Throb, that's the difference between you and I. You always need someone to help you, someone to hold your hand along the way as where I do everything myself. I don't need the help of the Backstreet Boy rejects like you do, I don't have to lock someone in the trunk of a car to make sure I win and I sure as hell don't need to poison the minds of a cruise ship full of people to help me. I won this title 3 times by myself and at Apocalypse Now, I'll win it again by myself.

At the end of the night one of use will leave a champion and the other a drowned rat, I hope for your sake you're a decent swimmer.