Post by Sedition: Gabreal Martin on Aug 20, 2010 16:36:34 GMT -6
[glow=red,2,300]Extreme Enough Episode 5[/glow]
(The scene opens up at a sound stage somewhere in Los Angeles, California. The camera pans around to see all the contestants in SWA Presents Extreme Enough. We are also able to see the host of the show Gabreal Martin the man that is setting the wrestling world on fire.)
Gabreal Martin: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another thriling episode of Sedition Wrestling Alliance Presents Extreme Enough as always I am your host Gabreal Martin. To my side are my bodyguard Kryptochild and the one and only the most beautiful woman in wrestling Olivia Saint. I know that all of you are wondering about my sore throat, but you can all rest easy now I am just fine.
Kryptochild: I hate doing this stuff.
Gabreal Martin: Oh come on this is a great show and this week it is going to be even better. This weeks show is entitled “Are you smarter than a Crackwhore”!
(A skinny skanky lady enters the area.)
Gabreal Martin: This week our contestants will each get one question and if they can answer it right plus answer it faster than this crackwhore then they will be moving on. Possibly.
(The first person to come up is Ebon.)
Ebon: Hey I know you lady. What are you doing here? Dreadnaught your son would not be happy about th is.
Gabreal Martin: Sorry we do not want to get into this we just picked her up at random. Ebon your question is what famous man is in the first book of the Bible?
(Ebon buzzes in first)
Ebon: Charlton Heston
Crackwhore: Phil Collins!
Gabreal Martin: Yes the Crackwhore gets it. Know that the first book of the Bible is Genisis. Heston is in it later he frees the jews later on in the book.
(Next up is Nigel Adams)
Gabreal Martin: Nigel Adams who much does an issue of the greatest magazine in the world SWA Magazine cost?
(Nigel is in first)
Nigel Adams: 15 Euro!
Crackwhore: 20 dollars!
Gabreal Martin: Once again our Crackwhore with the right answer. Remember Nigel we are in The United States not The United Kingdom the money amounts are different here.
Nigel Adams: But you did not say that!
(Nigel storms off in a huff as Gina Roberts comes up.)
Gabreal Martin: Gina Roberts who is the greatest wrestler of all time?
Crackwhore: Ric Flair!
Gina Roberts: Hulk Hogan!
Gabreal Martin: No you are both wrong on that one. You see I am the greatest wrestler of all time.
Gina Roberts: Isn’t that more of an opinion question not a fact question?
Gabreal Martin: No! It is a fact. I am the greatest even Rev and Gladiator say so. The opinion of those two is the only one that matters.
(Up next is The Warrior.)
Gabreal Martin: Warrior your question is who is the worst wrestler of all time?
Warrior: ME!
Crackwhore: I have to agree.
Gabreal Martin: I will accept that. At least someone will get a question right out of the contestants.
(Warrior walks away mumbling something that no one can understand sort of like one of his promos as Jason Holmes comes up.)
Gabreal Martin: Jason what street in every city can you get the best crack?
Jason Holmes: Third street
Crackwhore: MLK!
Gabreal Martin: Yes the whore is right again! I guess when Dr. King said he had a dream his dream was for all the boys and girls to be able to get the best rock on his street in every city.
Jason Holmes: Not a fair question. She knew it I did not!
Gabreal Martin: That is how it goes.
(Jason leaves as Jimmy Johnson comes up.)
Gabreal Martin: Jimmy Johnson who will win the SWA Title match at the pay per view?
Jimmy Johnson: Ian DeTornado?
Crackwhore: Larsen!
Gabreal Martin: No you are both wrong. I will. I am not in the match, but I am the rightful champion so I win no matter what happens.
(Jimmy leaves rolling his eyes as Willie Lee comes up.)
Gabreal Martin: Willie Lee. Who is that dirty hack who shot his woman down?
Willie Lee: Jack Brown?
Crackwhore: Willie Lee!
Gabreal Martin: Well done whore. You should really listen to the entire Johnny Cash song Willie you should have got that right.
(Willie leaves shaking his head as King X comes up.)
Gabreal Martin: King X what is the best line in SWA Extreme Enough so far?
King X: Ho Ho Ho Motherfucker!
Crackwhore: I have to agree.
(The judges give a thumbs up.)
Gabreal Martin: Well done King X you saved yourself from elimination…………………..
(The door to the studio busts open and a bunch of men in suits come in with guns)
CIA Agent: Alright! King X get down! You are under arrest.
King X: No! I am not going back to prison!
CIA Agent: We have reason to believe that you are a terrorist!
King X: I am not! No more prison!
(King X pulls out a gun, but when he does about 12 CIA Agents fill him with lead.)
CIA Agent: You are all safe now.
Gabreal Martin: Um……um…….
(Gabe looks at the bloody body of King X on the ground.)
Gabreal Martin: Due to unusual happenings King X has been eliminated. Goodnight and to Rev and Gladiator I am sorry another contestant had to die, but you know I am not taking a bullet for this guy.
(Fade)
Gabreal Martin: You know I guess that I should be sort of shocked at the moment. I mean when you think of it this is just like Larsen Van Der Kamp and Ian DeTornado to skip out on a chance to fight me. I mean despite what our current number one contender is going to tell you Larsen Van Der Kamp is afraid of me. I mean why else would he not want to be the man that signed up to take me on at the pay per view? I am sure that he will come on here and talk about how he was booked in another match and that he has a title shot. Well I seemed to think that Larsen had a set of balls, but I guess I was wrong. Then you got our current so called World Champion Ian DeTornado who will tell you that he has a championship defense to get ready for, but like Larsen he is afraid of me. It is sad that they are, but hey I can't really blame them. I am the real World Champion of this federation no matter who is in the match for the belt. Ian screwed me out of the belt and knows that if we face one on one that I would make him look so bad even in a non-title match that he would be forced to vacate the belt and give it to me. If I had to face Larsen well I would make him look so bad that even if he were to beat the champ later on in the night that they would force him to give his belt to me. We know that this is the case. It is not prior matches or anything like that guys it is just that neither of you have the balls to take me on one on one for the fear of showing you up and not being able to hold your head high as a champion in this federation. So I guess the blind will fight the blind and one man will get his moment in the sun as SWA Champion.
(He sighs)
Gabreal Martin: Now if those two are not going to be the ones to show their balls and give me a challenge at the pay per view who is going to be the great warrior that does? Waylon Hawthorne comes to the rescue I believe is the phrase that was used to describe it. Well I guess he did save something and that is the Sedition Wrestling Alliance World Championship, but I believe he also damned it to mediocrity as well. Oh well I guess that is what father time wanted to do. I guess maybe he believes that the winner of the match might have a match with him since they are obviously too afraid to have one with me and their is no way in hell that Waylon Hawthorne is going to make either of those two look bad. Well the assisted live superstar as I like to call him gets a match with me. Well he gets his rematch with me. That is really a sore point with me though, but I am not sure about him. You see last time we met the match ended with controversy. I was well on my way to beating Hawthorne and getting my hand raised when a couple of orderlies showed up in the match and caused the match to end in a no contest. I am sure that people are going to question the winner of that match, but I have no doubt in my mind it was me. Look at the facts we all know that Waylon had me covered, but I was about to kick out when the door busted open and he was taken away by the people in white coats. The people in the white coats who are really out there to protect the poor old bastard were starting to sense that I was going to do some major harm to their man so they rushed in and saved not only his career, but possibly his old life. I was thinking that the electrocution that we both encountered on that faithful night was going to send the poor man into a heart attack.
(He laughs)
Gabreal Martin: Now you might be mad at me for those words Waylon, I mean if you can hear me say them, but I am just being honest with you old man. No one wants to see some old fart die in a match no matter who he is. I mean yeah it might have worked for Ric Flair, but then again he had a fake heart attack you would have had a real one. They saved your life, because I do not want to see you dead, but I am would have at least made sure I got the pin and the win in that match before I took you to the Emergency Room myself. Would I have stayed in the room that night to make sure that you made it through it? Doubt, but that is not the problem here. The problem is that you are declaring our match a stalemate when it is obvious to not only me, but to everyone else that I was the clear winner of it. You were taken away by people for your own good to mean that says " Gabreal Martin is the winner of this match." So you need to do us a favor and get out of the imaginary world that you old people like to live in while you dream about the good old days. Though I have to admit Waylon I find you to be sort of entertaining. You have a wild hair up your ass when it comes to me for some odd reason. Like you see something in me that you can't stand. You want to complain about me not being around all that much and you want to call bullshit on my excuses. Fine you can go their, but know that I had a legit excuse for everything that kept me off the shows. I can't help that people like me are wanted on television shows. I can't help it that Jay Leno wanted me on his show. Oh, wait time out. Since you may not know who that is Jay Leno is the guy who took the place of that old dinosaur Johnny Carson. When the best host that The Tonight Show has ever had asks you to be a part of it you have to jump at it. Then you do not like the fact that I was suffering from a physical injury or the fact the great Dr. Rosen said I was not fit to wrestle some of the people here, because of the mental duress that it would cause me. I know that your generation wrestled no matter how they felt, but your generation also wrestled in carnivals against toothless rednecks who were just mere people with no ability. Your generation of wrestlers were out of shape pricks. You need to get with the times. The only way to survive my generation is by taking care of yourself and getting your face out there. You being jealous of me, because no one from your generation was ever on any television show other that Freddie Blassie being on the Dick Van Dyke Show.
(He pauses)
Gabreal Martin: You need to get over this petty jealous old man, because it is not becoming of you. I would tell you to bow out of the limelight gracefully, but you have not been in the limelight since the 1970's. You called me a little brat and you say that you are going to knock me down off the pedestal that I have put myself on. Really? Well I want to see you do that old man. I know that you are a veteran in this business and I am not afraid to say that you may know more than I do in that ring, but if you seriously think that you are going to beat me you are sadly mistaken. The old school is dead. Welcome to the reality that is new school wrestling. You see are not taking me on in some slow paced battle like you did against Bob Backlund. You are taking me on in a Falls Count Anywhere Match. I can beat you here I can beat you there. I can beat you anywhere. It is going to be bloody and it is going to violent. I guess that I can do you a favor and beat you in like five minutes like the last huge star that was in the ring with you, but why would I want to. Everyone knows that I can dominate you, but it is not the best thing to do at this time. I am going to win this match Waylon and really you do not have much of a say in it. Look at it this way. You can look back on this day and say one day to your.......oh wait if you had grandchildren they would not come and visit you. It is not as funny when my opponent is old enough to already have grandchildren. How about you being able to say on your death bed here in a few weeks when your life ends that you had your last truly great match against Gabreal Martin. You were beaten around so badly that it was not funny, but heck you proved that you can get your asskicked by someone who is superior to you in every way possible.
(Fade)
(The scene opens up at a sound stage somewhere in Los Angeles, California. The camera pans around to see all the contestants in SWA Presents Extreme Enough. We are also able to see the host of the show Gabreal Martin the man that is setting the wrestling world on fire.)
Gabreal Martin: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to another thriling episode of Sedition Wrestling Alliance Presents Extreme Enough as always I am your host Gabreal Martin. To my side are my bodyguard Kryptochild and the one and only the most beautiful woman in wrestling Olivia Saint. I know that all of you are wondering about my sore throat, but you can all rest easy now I am just fine.
Kryptochild: I hate doing this stuff.
Gabreal Martin: Oh come on this is a great show and this week it is going to be even better. This weeks show is entitled “Are you smarter than a Crackwhore”!
(A skinny skanky lady enters the area.)
Gabreal Martin: This week our contestants will each get one question and if they can answer it right plus answer it faster than this crackwhore then they will be moving on. Possibly.
(The first person to come up is Ebon.)
Ebon: Hey I know you lady. What are you doing here? Dreadnaught your son would not be happy about th is.
Gabreal Martin: Sorry we do not want to get into this we just picked her up at random. Ebon your question is what famous man is in the first book of the Bible?
(Ebon buzzes in first)
Ebon: Charlton Heston
Crackwhore: Phil Collins!
Gabreal Martin: Yes the Crackwhore gets it. Know that the first book of the Bible is Genisis. Heston is in it later he frees the jews later on in the book.
(Next up is Nigel Adams)
Gabreal Martin: Nigel Adams who much does an issue of the greatest magazine in the world SWA Magazine cost?
(Nigel is in first)
Nigel Adams: 15 Euro!
Crackwhore: 20 dollars!
Gabreal Martin: Once again our Crackwhore with the right answer. Remember Nigel we are in The United States not The United Kingdom the money amounts are different here.
Nigel Adams: But you did not say that!
(Nigel storms off in a huff as Gina Roberts comes up.)
Gabreal Martin: Gina Roberts who is the greatest wrestler of all time?
Crackwhore: Ric Flair!
Gina Roberts: Hulk Hogan!
Gabreal Martin: No you are both wrong on that one. You see I am the greatest wrestler of all time.
Gina Roberts: Isn’t that more of an opinion question not a fact question?
Gabreal Martin: No! It is a fact. I am the greatest even Rev and Gladiator say so. The opinion of those two is the only one that matters.
(Up next is The Warrior.)
Gabreal Martin: Warrior your question is who is the worst wrestler of all time?
Warrior: ME!
Crackwhore: I have to agree.
Gabreal Martin: I will accept that. At least someone will get a question right out of the contestants.
(Warrior walks away mumbling something that no one can understand sort of like one of his promos as Jason Holmes comes up.)
Gabreal Martin: Jason what street in every city can you get the best crack?
Jason Holmes: Third street
Crackwhore: MLK!
Gabreal Martin: Yes the whore is right again! I guess when Dr. King said he had a dream his dream was for all the boys and girls to be able to get the best rock on his street in every city.
Jason Holmes: Not a fair question. She knew it I did not!
Gabreal Martin: That is how it goes.
(Jason leaves as Jimmy Johnson comes up.)
Gabreal Martin: Jimmy Johnson who will win the SWA Title match at the pay per view?
Jimmy Johnson: Ian DeTornado?
Crackwhore: Larsen!
Gabreal Martin: No you are both wrong. I will. I am not in the match, but I am the rightful champion so I win no matter what happens.
(Jimmy leaves rolling his eyes as Willie Lee comes up.)
Gabreal Martin: Willie Lee. Who is that dirty hack who shot his woman down?
Willie Lee: Jack Brown?
Crackwhore: Willie Lee!
Gabreal Martin: Well done whore. You should really listen to the entire Johnny Cash song Willie you should have got that right.
(Willie leaves shaking his head as King X comes up.)
Gabreal Martin: King X what is the best line in SWA Extreme Enough so far?
King X: Ho Ho Ho Motherfucker!
Crackwhore: I have to agree.
(The judges give a thumbs up.)
Gabreal Martin: Well done King X you saved yourself from elimination…………………..
(The door to the studio busts open and a bunch of men in suits come in with guns)
CIA Agent: Alright! King X get down! You are under arrest.
King X: No! I am not going back to prison!
CIA Agent: We have reason to believe that you are a terrorist!
King X: I am not! No more prison!
(King X pulls out a gun, but when he does about 12 CIA Agents fill him with lead.)
CIA Agent: You are all safe now.
Gabreal Martin: Um……um…….
(Gabe looks at the bloody body of King X on the ground.)
Gabreal Martin: Due to unusual happenings King X has been eliminated. Goodnight and to Rev and Gladiator I am sorry another contestant had to die, but you know I am not taking a bullet for this guy.
(Fade)
Gabreal Martin: You know I guess that I should be sort of shocked at the moment. I mean when you think of it this is just like Larsen Van Der Kamp and Ian DeTornado to skip out on a chance to fight me. I mean despite what our current number one contender is going to tell you Larsen Van Der Kamp is afraid of me. I mean why else would he not want to be the man that signed up to take me on at the pay per view? I am sure that he will come on here and talk about how he was booked in another match and that he has a title shot. Well I seemed to think that Larsen had a set of balls, but I guess I was wrong. Then you got our current so called World Champion Ian DeTornado who will tell you that he has a championship defense to get ready for, but like Larsen he is afraid of me. It is sad that they are, but hey I can't really blame them. I am the real World Champion of this federation no matter who is in the match for the belt. Ian screwed me out of the belt and knows that if we face one on one that I would make him look so bad even in a non-title match that he would be forced to vacate the belt and give it to me. If I had to face Larsen well I would make him look so bad that even if he were to beat the champ later on in the night that they would force him to give his belt to me. We know that this is the case. It is not prior matches or anything like that guys it is just that neither of you have the balls to take me on one on one for the fear of showing you up and not being able to hold your head high as a champion in this federation. So I guess the blind will fight the blind and one man will get his moment in the sun as SWA Champion.
(He sighs)
Gabreal Martin: Now if those two are not going to be the ones to show their balls and give me a challenge at the pay per view who is going to be the great warrior that does? Waylon Hawthorne comes to the rescue I believe is the phrase that was used to describe it. Well I guess he did save something and that is the Sedition Wrestling Alliance World Championship, but I believe he also damned it to mediocrity as well. Oh well I guess that is what father time wanted to do. I guess maybe he believes that the winner of the match might have a match with him since they are obviously too afraid to have one with me and their is no way in hell that Waylon Hawthorne is going to make either of those two look bad. Well the assisted live superstar as I like to call him gets a match with me. Well he gets his rematch with me. That is really a sore point with me though, but I am not sure about him. You see last time we met the match ended with controversy. I was well on my way to beating Hawthorne and getting my hand raised when a couple of orderlies showed up in the match and caused the match to end in a no contest. I am sure that people are going to question the winner of that match, but I have no doubt in my mind it was me. Look at the facts we all know that Waylon had me covered, but I was about to kick out when the door busted open and he was taken away by the people in white coats. The people in the white coats who are really out there to protect the poor old bastard were starting to sense that I was going to do some major harm to their man so they rushed in and saved not only his career, but possibly his old life. I was thinking that the electrocution that we both encountered on that faithful night was going to send the poor man into a heart attack.
(He laughs)
Gabreal Martin: Now you might be mad at me for those words Waylon, I mean if you can hear me say them, but I am just being honest with you old man. No one wants to see some old fart die in a match no matter who he is. I mean yeah it might have worked for Ric Flair, but then again he had a fake heart attack you would have had a real one. They saved your life, because I do not want to see you dead, but I am would have at least made sure I got the pin and the win in that match before I took you to the Emergency Room myself. Would I have stayed in the room that night to make sure that you made it through it? Doubt, but that is not the problem here. The problem is that you are declaring our match a stalemate when it is obvious to not only me, but to everyone else that I was the clear winner of it. You were taken away by people for your own good to mean that says " Gabreal Martin is the winner of this match." So you need to do us a favor and get out of the imaginary world that you old people like to live in while you dream about the good old days. Though I have to admit Waylon I find you to be sort of entertaining. You have a wild hair up your ass when it comes to me for some odd reason. Like you see something in me that you can't stand. You want to complain about me not being around all that much and you want to call bullshit on my excuses. Fine you can go their, but know that I had a legit excuse for everything that kept me off the shows. I can't help that people like me are wanted on television shows. I can't help it that Jay Leno wanted me on his show. Oh, wait time out. Since you may not know who that is Jay Leno is the guy who took the place of that old dinosaur Johnny Carson. When the best host that The Tonight Show has ever had asks you to be a part of it you have to jump at it. Then you do not like the fact that I was suffering from a physical injury or the fact the great Dr. Rosen said I was not fit to wrestle some of the people here, because of the mental duress that it would cause me. I know that your generation wrestled no matter how they felt, but your generation also wrestled in carnivals against toothless rednecks who were just mere people with no ability. Your generation of wrestlers were out of shape pricks. You need to get with the times. The only way to survive my generation is by taking care of yourself and getting your face out there. You being jealous of me, because no one from your generation was ever on any television show other that Freddie Blassie being on the Dick Van Dyke Show.
(He pauses)
Gabreal Martin: You need to get over this petty jealous old man, because it is not becoming of you. I would tell you to bow out of the limelight gracefully, but you have not been in the limelight since the 1970's. You called me a little brat and you say that you are going to knock me down off the pedestal that I have put myself on. Really? Well I want to see you do that old man. I know that you are a veteran in this business and I am not afraid to say that you may know more than I do in that ring, but if you seriously think that you are going to beat me you are sadly mistaken. The old school is dead. Welcome to the reality that is new school wrestling. You see are not taking me on in some slow paced battle like you did against Bob Backlund. You are taking me on in a Falls Count Anywhere Match. I can beat you here I can beat you there. I can beat you anywhere. It is going to be bloody and it is going to violent. I guess that I can do you a favor and beat you in like five minutes like the last huge star that was in the ring with you, but why would I want to. Everyone knows that I can dominate you, but it is not the best thing to do at this time. I am going to win this match Waylon and really you do not have much of a say in it. Look at it this way. You can look back on this day and say one day to your.......oh wait if you had grandchildren they would not come and visit you. It is not as funny when my opponent is old enough to already have grandchildren. How about you being able to say on your death bed here in a few weeks when your life ends that you had your last truly great match against Gabreal Martin. You were beaten around so badly that it was not funny, but heck you proved that you can get your asskicked by someone who is superior to you in every way possible.
(Fade)
