Post by Teen Throb on Aug 7, 2010 9:20:22 GMT -6
{-- We open in a board room at the SWA corporate offices in that sheep paddock they call home. The board room is packed with executives. Rev, Gladiator, and Michael Saint are not present, partly because they have busy schedules and partly because when invited they all responded with "Go blow....... I'm goin golfin!". Never the less the rest of the SWA corporate execs are all cramped into this sweaty non air conditioned board room waiting on a presentation by Teen Throb and his band members of Watch Out, who identified in role call and by their name tags on their chest are Jerry, Jack, and Jaswinder. Nobody in the room looks happy to be there, including the Watch Out boys with the exception of Teen Throb. He stands in the corner with his arms crossed putting off the start of his presentation. --}
TT- Just a few more minutes.
Jack- What are you waiting for?
TT- Just building that exitement.
Jack- What exitement would that be?
TT- When I take the stage I like the crowd to wait a little longer than they expect. Soon they start to chant WE WANT TEEN THROB! WE WANT TEEN THROB! And then the waves begin. One by one each person in the crowd stands up with their arms in the air. The energy and excitement spreads like a domino effect. It just goes round and round and round. Then the announcer steps out and grabs the mike. The crowd will be screaming just knowing that the shows ready to begin. As the cheers die down he's finally able to speak and let out those familiar words ARE YOU READY TO PARTY insert city name here?
Jaswinder- Yeah but.
TT- The crowd will go crazy. Arms will be thrown in the air. The introduction comes.
Jaswinder- Hey listen to me. This isn't a concert. You don't call a board meeting and expect the executives to throw their hands in the air like they just don't care. These people aren't excited to see you. Most of them hate your guts. It's hot and everyone wants to go home. Just get out there and tell them what you came here for.
TT- Nah. I think they want to be pumped up. Jack get out there and start one of those waves.
{-- Jack although unwilling does walk out of the corner and stand at the front of the board room. He looks sheepish as the room full of angry execs stares at him. Jack forces a smile and throws his hands above his head while standing on his toes. He repeats this a few times trying to get the wave going. Of course not a soul in the room follows this. They just stare back at him as angry as ever. Jack places his hands in his pockets and walks back to the corner. He smacks Teen Throb in the back of the head. --}
Jack- Thanks man. I just made an idiot of myself in front of 50 executives. Just get on with this already. The heat is making me want to puke.
TT- You guys have no vision for showmanship. I'll start this show.
{-- Teen Throb pulls a huge universal remote out of his pocket. He hits a button and the lights dim. He hits another button and a strobe light goes off. He hits one more button and a booming dance beat starts playing from the speakers around the room. Over top of the music is a pre recorded voice which is so obviously Teen Throb himself growling while talking --}
Pre Recorded Voice- Ladies and gents... the man you all came to see today... TEEN THROB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{-- Teen Throb 'Running Man's' his way across the front of the room. He bounces to the beat for a few seconds and then hits a button and the music and strobe light shut off. --}
TT- Hello SWA executives! Are you ready for the biggest, baddest, partying-est board room meeting ever?
{-- Teen Throb waits for a response which never comes. The only sound is an embarrased Jack in the corner muttering a weak
Jack- Yeah!
TT- I said are you ready for the biggest, baddest, partying-est
{{-- One of the executives stands up and starts heading for the door. --}
TT- Wait where are you going? The presentation hasn't even started.
Angry executive- Then get to it before I really lose my patience and fire you.
TT- Come on grumpy gus. We're just trying to have a good old Teen Throb party. Ain't no party like a Teen Throb party. Can I get a beat my boys?
{-- Teen Throb turns to the humiliated group of Watch Out who don't respond. The angry executive snaps his fingers. --}
Angry executive- Where's my secretary. Draw up this man's formal release papers.
TT- All right all right. We'll do it your way. Geez you just try and liven up a board meeting and you get the third degree.
{-- Teen Throb stands still and relaxes his muscles like he's about to break into a dance. --}
Angry executive- If this presentation is about to be performed as an interpretative dance I'll fire you and have you killed on the way out of the building.
{-- Teen Throb stops dead in his tracks. --}
TT- No... I don't know what you're talking about.
{-- Teen Throb turns to the other boys of Watch Out and gives the ixnay on the ance-day signal. Teen Throb nows puts on his serious man face and addresses the board. --}}
TT- Swa executives. I am here to expose an imposter and a fraud within our very organization. There is a man who came on the scene only a few weeks ago named Psycho Dragon. You all believed him to be a strange and loopy clown of a wrestler with little talent, zero charisma and not even an ounce of sexy dance moves like yours truly. By the way in case you missed it the yours truly I was referring to was myself and not any of these other guys in the corner. Just wanted to clear that up first. So back to my awesome presentation. I have come to believe this Psycho Dragon is not the talentless charisma-less non-sexy dance moving kind of guy he seems, but an imposter in disguise. Be prepared to be stunned. Even his face can be deceiving. I have learned that beaneath that face of his is none other than a felt mask!
{-- Teen Throb turns on a bulky projector which he doesn't even realize is turned backwards. A bright light from the projector shines right into the eyes of all the executives. As Teen Throb continues to talk all the executives try to shield their eyes from the blinding image of Psycho Dragon being projected on their faces. --}
TT- That's right. You heard me right. Psycho Dragon is actually wearing a mask that hide shis true identity. As if the deception of hiding his real face from you isn't enough, I have discovered the man's real identity. Believe it or not, Psycho Dragon is not the name on his birth certificate. Who is he really? I'm about to tell you.
{-- Teen Throb turns around to the screen behind him with a laser pointer. He looks confused to see that the projector isn't showing Psycho Dragon on the screen. Teen Throb smacks the box a few times. --}}
TT- Stupid thing isn't working.
{-- Teen Throb turns off the switch and all the executives breathe a sigh of relief as the light stops blinding them. --}
TT- Okay so we now know that Psycho Dragon has deceived you by not showing his face and he's deceived you even more by the fact that his real name is not Psycho or Dragon. I know shocks like that usually take a while to sink in but I'm going to ask you to digest all these revelations later on for I'm about to drop the greatest bomb shell of all on you. I know who is beneath that poorly sewn mask. It is none other than
{-- Teen Throb pauses. --}
TT- Any chance I can get a drum roll for this? It's much better for the show. I have it pre recorded already.
Angry executive- Where are those release papers?
TT- Okay okay I was just asking. So I believe Psycho Dragon is none other than Watch Out's lost band member JJ! That's right I said JJ! How did I come to this conclusion. Very simple. Psycho Dragon appeared within a few weeks of JJ disappearing. Psycho Dragon also is known for his clumsiness and boobery. Ever seen JJ dance? It's like a So You Think You Can Flub a Dance episode. Then there's the fact that Psycho Dragon hates me. Me. We all know it's impossible to hate me. Only one other person had such disdain for me and that was JJ. Starting to put the pieces together. Get ready for the biggest shocker of all. I have hired a professional photographic comparison expert. Well he's not exactly a photographic comparison expert, but he rents a room in my Uncle's basement and he has the latest version of Photoshop. He has put together a side by side comparison to see. I give you the shocking photograph that demonstrates that if wearing a black and green mask, JJ would look exactly like Psycho Dragon.
{-- Teen Throb switches the projector back on blidning the executives again. Projected on their faces is a picture of Psycho Dragon next to a picture of JJs body with a Psycho Dragon mask photoshopped on his head. --}
TT- I call to have Psycho Dragon expelled from the Swa immediately. The pictures speak for themselves I think.
{-- All the fed up executives get up out of their chairs and start filing out the door. Teen Throb just watches them go. The other members of Watch Out come up to stand by him. Teen Throb turns off the projector and throws his universal remote against the wall. --}
Jerry- They didn't buy it.
TT- Oh well it was worth a shot.
TT- Just a few more minutes.
Jack- What are you waiting for?
TT- Just building that exitement.
Jack- What exitement would that be?
TT- When I take the stage I like the crowd to wait a little longer than they expect. Soon they start to chant WE WANT TEEN THROB! WE WANT TEEN THROB! And then the waves begin. One by one each person in the crowd stands up with their arms in the air. The energy and excitement spreads like a domino effect. It just goes round and round and round. Then the announcer steps out and grabs the mike. The crowd will be screaming just knowing that the shows ready to begin. As the cheers die down he's finally able to speak and let out those familiar words ARE YOU READY TO PARTY insert city name here?
Jaswinder- Yeah but.
TT- The crowd will go crazy. Arms will be thrown in the air. The introduction comes.
Jaswinder- Hey listen to me. This isn't a concert. You don't call a board meeting and expect the executives to throw their hands in the air like they just don't care. These people aren't excited to see you. Most of them hate your guts. It's hot and everyone wants to go home. Just get out there and tell them what you came here for.
TT- Nah. I think they want to be pumped up. Jack get out there and start one of those waves.
{-- Jack although unwilling does walk out of the corner and stand at the front of the board room. He looks sheepish as the room full of angry execs stares at him. Jack forces a smile and throws his hands above his head while standing on his toes. He repeats this a few times trying to get the wave going. Of course not a soul in the room follows this. They just stare back at him as angry as ever. Jack places his hands in his pockets and walks back to the corner. He smacks Teen Throb in the back of the head. --}
Jack- Thanks man. I just made an idiot of myself in front of 50 executives. Just get on with this already. The heat is making me want to puke.
TT- You guys have no vision for showmanship. I'll start this show.
{-- Teen Throb pulls a huge universal remote out of his pocket. He hits a button and the lights dim. He hits another button and a strobe light goes off. He hits one more button and a booming dance beat starts playing from the speakers around the room. Over top of the music is a pre recorded voice which is so obviously Teen Throb himself growling while talking --}
Pre Recorded Voice- Ladies and gents... the man you all came to see today... TEEN THROB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{-- Teen Throb 'Running Man's' his way across the front of the room. He bounces to the beat for a few seconds and then hits a button and the music and strobe light shut off. --}
TT- Hello SWA executives! Are you ready for the biggest, baddest, partying-est board room meeting ever?
{-- Teen Throb waits for a response which never comes. The only sound is an embarrased Jack in the corner muttering a weak
Jack- Yeah!
TT- I said are you ready for the biggest, baddest, partying-est
{{-- One of the executives stands up and starts heading for the door. --}
TT- Wait where are you going? The presentation hasn't even started.
Angry executive- Then get to it before I really lose my patience and fire you.
TT- Come on grumpy gus. We're just trying to have a good old Teen Throb party. Ain't no party like a Teen Throb party. Can I get a beat my boys?
{-- Teen Throb turns to the humiliated group of Watch Out who don't respond. The angry executive snaps his fingers. --}
Angry executive- Where's my secretary. Draw up this man's formal release papers.
TT- All right all right. We'll do it your way. Geez you just try and liven up a board meeting and you get the third degree.
{-- Teen Throb stands still and relaxes his muscles like he's about to break into a dance. --}
Angry executive- If this presentation is about to be performed as an interpretative dance I'll fire you and have you killed on the way out of the building.
{-- Teen Throb stops dead in his tracks. --}
TT- No... I don't know what you're talking about.
{-- Teen Throb turns to the other boys of Watch Out and gives the ixnay on the ance-day signal. Teen Throb nows puts on his serious man face and addresses the board. --}}
TT- Swa executives. I am here to expose an imposter and a fraud within our very organization. There is a man who came on the scene only a few weeks ago named Psycho Dragon. You all believed him to be a strange and loopy clown of a wrestler with little talent, zero charisma and not even an ounce of sexy dance moves like yours truly. By the way in case you missed it the yours truly I was referring to was myself and not any of these other guys in the corner. Just wanted to clear that up first. So back to my awesome presentation. I have come to believe this Psycho Dragon is not the talentless charisma-less non-sexy dance moving kind of guy he seems, but an imposter in disguise. Be prepared to be stunned. Even his face can be deceiving. I have learned that beaneath that face of his is none other than a felt mask!
{-- Teen Throb turns on a bulky projector which he doesn't even realize is turned backwards. A bright light from the projector shines right into the eyes of all the executives. As Teen Throb continues to talk all the executives try to shield their eyes from the blinding image of Psycho Dragon being projected on their faces. --}
TT- That's right. You heard me right. Psycho Dragon is actually wearing a mask that hide shis true identity. As if the deception of hiding his real face from you isn't enough, I have discovered the man's real identity. Believe it or not, Psycho Dragon is not the name on his birth certificate. Who is he really? I'm about to tell you.
{-- Teen Throb turns around to the screen behind him with a laser pointer. He looks confused to see that the projector isn't showing Psycho Dragon on the screen. Teen Throb smacks the box a few times. --}}
TT- Stupid thing isn't working.
{-- Teen Throb turns off the switch and all the executives breathe a sigh of relief as the light stops blinding them. --}
TT- Okay so we now know that Psycho Dragon has deceived you by not showing his face and he's deceived you even more by the fact that his real name is not Psycho or Dragon. I know shocks like that usually take a while to sink in but I'm going to ask you to digest all these revelations later on for I'm about to drop the greatest bomb shell of all on you. I know who is beneath that poorly sewn mask. It is none other than
{-- Teen Throb pauses. --}
TT- Any chance I can get a drum roll for this? It's much better for the show. I have it pre recorded already.
Angry executive- Where are those release papers?
TT- Okay okay I was just asking. So I believe Psycho Dragon is none other than Watch Out's lost band member JJ! That's right I said JJ! How did I come to this conclusion. Very simple. Psycho Dragon appeared within a few weeks of JJ disappearing. Psycho Dragon also is known for his clumsiness and boobery. Ever seen JJ dance? It's like a So You Think You Can Flub a Dance episode. Then there's the fact that Psycho Dragon hates me. Me. We all know it's impossible to hate me. Only one other person had such disdain for me and that was JJ. Starting to put the pieces together. Get ready for the biggest shocker of all. I have hired a professional photographic comparison expert. Well he's not exactly a photographic comparison expert, but he rents a room in my Uncle's basement and he has the latest version of Photoshop. He has put together a side by side comparison to see. I give you the shocking photograph that demonstrates that if wearing a black and green mask, JJ would look exactly like Psycho Dragon.
{-- Teen Throb switches the projector back on blidning the executives again. Projected on their faces is a picture of Psycho Dragon next to a picture of JJs body with a Psycho Dragon mask photoshopped on his head. --}
TT- I call to have Psycho Dragon expelled from the Swa immediately. The pictures speak for themselves I think.
{-- All the fed up executives get up out of their chairs and start filing out the door. Teen Throb just watches them go. The other members of Watch Out come up to stand by him. Teen Throb turns off the projector and throws his universal remote against the wall. --}
Jerry- They didn't buy it.
TT- Oh well it was worth a shot.