Post by Duke Wallace on Jul 10, 2010 22:58:14 GMT -6
**"The Supremacist" Duke Wallace is sitting on a privately chartered airplane reading the newspaper. A tall dark haired gentleman with handsome game show host type features flashes his pearly white grin at Duke as he sits down next to him.**
ALAN THICKE: Hello, I'm Alan Thicke.
**Duke looks up from his newspaper. He gives Alan Thicke a disgusted look as he views him from head to toe.**
DUKE: You gotta be kidding me. I thought I asked for John Larroquette.
**Alan Thicke's charming smile disappears.**
ALAN THICKE: He was booked. They sent me as the backup choice.
DUKE: My backup was the guy from Mr. Belvedere.
ALAN THICKE: Alright, listen buddy. I hear the same story everywhere I go. I thought it was supposed to be John Larroquette, I thought it was supposed to be Tony Danza, I thought it was supposed to be Balki. I'm all that was available, so deal with it, okay? I'm Alan 'Freakin' Thicke. 20 years ago I was in demand, baby! Unlike those guys, I still have the charm, I still have the pearly whites, and I still have my own hair. Are we going to have a problem?
DUKE: Take it easy. I just wasn't expecting you.
**Alan Thicke nods apologetically and buckles up. The plane engine begins to come to life.**
ALAN THICKE: Can you tell me what we're doing? All the agency said was it was a hosting gig of some kind.
DUKE: Yes. Ever heard of Gabreal Martin? Didn't think so. He's kind of a nobody with an inflated ego. He has this awful reality show that I'm sure you haven't seen either called.
ALAN THICKE: Extreme Enough with Gabreal Martin??? You gotta be kidding me! I LOVE THAT SHOW! Never miss an episode! That's what I'm taking over hosting gigs on? I can't belive it! This is the break of a lifetime! Alan Thicke is back! Show me that smile again..........
DUKE: No. You're not hosting Extreme Enough. I'm going into competition on a rival network. I'm out to prove that anything Gabreal Martin can do, I can do better. I'm going to produce the greatest reality show anyone has ever seen. Here's the premise. I'm stranded on a deserted island with 2 teams of supermodels who are all vying for my affection. One by one they'll be eliminated after facing grueling dance offs. While doing this they'll also search for clues that will lead them on an Amazing Race off the island and around the world to a singing competition where they'll be judged solely by me.
**Alan Thicke blinks but doesn't respond at all. He leans back in his seat.**
ALAN THICKE: Oh.
**Duke shakes his head at Thicke and goes back to reading his newspaper.**
ALAN THICKE: So if you know Gabreal Martin, you think you can get me an autograph?
**Duke ignores Alan Thicke as the plane starts to take off.**
**The plane fuselage has been split in two. The back section is still on fire with black smoke rising from it. Duke Wallace drags a coughing Alan Thicke from the wreckage. He places him on the sand next to a group of terrified supermodels. **
SUPERMODEL #1: We're going to die.
ALAN THICKE: Wow those were some special effects, Duke. You'll blow Extreme Enough away in the ratings with production values like this.
DUKE: Alan, can I talk to you alone for a minute.
**Alan Thicke coughs some more and struggles to his feet. He limps down the beach with Duke. Duke speaks very quietly.**
DUKE: Those were no special effects. The pilot lost control in the middle of the flight. We actually crashed. This isn't part of the show.
ALAN THICKE: Oh great. I knew it! Every time I get a paying gig something like this happens!
DUKE: Calm down. I don't want to panic the supermodels. I know someone will find us eventually. They have those black box things on planes. I figure most of these supermodels are too dum,b to even know the difference between a real plane crash and a TV plane crash. We have the cameras, we have the supermodels, and we have me. We can take this and turn it into the greatest reality show anyone has ever seen. Gabreal Martin can continue to manufacture that crap he calls TV. We're going to go down in history with the real deal. All we need is a host to pull this whole thing together. What do you say? Wanna turn this tragedy into a real reality show?
**Alan Thicke places his hand on Duke's shoulder.**
ALAN THICKE: Duke, that was an inspiring speech. I will follow you to the death. My captain, my king, my brother.
DUKE: Whatever. Just start the show.
**Duke runs back to the camp of frantic supermodels. Most are bleeding and bruised.. Duke jumps up on a rock and stands heroicly with his arms crossed. Alan Thicke steps into the middle and motions for the camera man to start shooting.**
ALAN THICKE: Ladies and................ just ladies! Welcome to the first episode of the first season of "Duke Is Better Than Everyone" the newest reality show sensation! I am your host Alan Thicke, and for the next little while, we'll be competing on this island for the affections of the one and only "Supremacist" Duke Wallace! I hope you all have "recovered" from our little "show intro"
SUPERMODEL #1: Why are you making those quotations with your fingers?
ALAN THICKE: Because it's all part of the show. Everything you see is part of this brilliant ground breaking show.
SUPERMODEL #2: You mean this is all part of the show?
ALAN THICKE: I will ask you to maintain a level of panic for the cameras, but between you and me, it's all being staged.
SUPERMODEL #3: What about the dead stewardesses washing on shore?
ALAN THICKE: All being staged as part of the show.
SUPERMODEL #4: And this severed arm of the co-pilots that's in my hand?
ALAN THICKE: Just part of the show as well.
SUPERMODEL #5: And my broken wrist and this gash above my eye that won't stop bleeding?
ALAN THICKE: Uh.............. special effects.
SUPERMODEL #5: Wow!
**All of the supermodels are amazed suddenly. They seem to be buying it. Duke clears his throat to get Alan Thicke's attention.**
ALAN THICKE: And lets not forget the reason we all came here. The real mans man. The man who can do it all. Survived a car crash, broke every bone in his body, doctors said he'd never walk again. Here he stands befor eyou today ready to receive all your love and affection, "The Supremacist" Duke Wallace!
**Duke strikes a couple of poses for the girls.They respond with Oooos and Ahhhs.**
ALAN THICKE: So put down those severed arms and lets get to our first dance off!
**All the girls start to stumble through their best dance routines, which may have looked impressive had they not all been nursing fractures and sprains. Duke steps down off his pedestal and calls Alan over.**
DUKE: This isn't enough. We lost a lot in the plane crash. This is good, I'm way better than Gabreal Martin. We need to top him on every level. It's not enough that I can bench press 6 times Martin's body weight. People won't care that I have the ability to grow facial, chest and arm pit hair and he doesn't. Nobody realizes that the only reason he has success in this business is because he's spoon fed opponents by his bosses. The fans need to know that I top him in every aspect, including creating a spectacle on television. His show had celebrity guests. We have none.
ALAN THICKE: Ha! I wouldn't say none.
**Alan Thicke flashes his pearly whites.**
DUKE: I mean celebrities from this decade.
KATE: Excuse me!
**Duke and Alan Thicke turn to see which one of the girls is calling him. It's Kate Gosselin of John and Kate Plus 8! She has all 8 annoying screaming kids hanging off of her every limb.**
KATE: This show had better have a child care facility or I'm hitting the road!
DUKE: Oh how come I couldn't have perished in the crash. Someone get the bimbo out of here before she spontaneously conceives another litter.
KATE: Give me a break. You know how hard it is to be a single Mom raising 8 kids in a 6 figure reality show salary? These kids have to eat. Boob jobs don't pay for themselves either.
DUKE: Fire her, Thicke, or I'm firing you.
**Alan Thicke starts to usher Kate Gosselin and her screaming monsters to the otehr side of the beach.**
KATE: Fire me? How am I supposed to feed these kids? Have you no charity? I can't be expected to get a job, or go on welfare!
**Alan walks her away and returns to Duke.**
DUKE: I'm telling you, we have drama, we have tragedy, we have brainless supermodels. That's the entire recipe for every successful reality show. But Gabreal had the icing on the cake. Celebrity guests, and on the last episode, violence against children. We can't be expected to top that under these circumstances...................... On second thought, keep one camera on Kate for another 15 minutes. We can still top Extreme Enough. I think it's time to let the game begin.
**Alan Thicke yells over all the commotion from the engine fire to get the girls attention.**
ALAN THICKE: Alright, it's time for the first elimination round! The rules are as follows!
**A loud rumbling is heard somewhere behind the burning fuselage. Alan Thicke, Duke Wallace, and the supermodels turn around and find a fleet of helicopters in the sky flying straight toward them.**
ALAN THICKE: That would be the rescue.
DUKE: Couldn't they have waited until we at least got to the Coconut Cook Off challenge?
**The girls are screaming and running towards the helicopters for rescue. Alan puts a hand on Duke's shoulder.**
ALAN THICKE: Well my friend, you tried to be better than Gabreal Martin and you failed. Some men are born to entertain, and some men just aren't cut out for this entertainment business. You fall into the latter category. People like me and Gabreal are born for it. You should pass on my business card to him.
DUKE: I'm not born to entertain? I'm Mr. Entertainment. Gabreal Martin's show jumped the shark after episode 3. I don't need a reality show to compete with him. You forget that I'm a survivor and a hero to millions. They never doubted my superiority. You failed me, Thicke. I thought we were on the same page. I thought you wanted to show up Gabreal Martin just as much as I did.
ALAN THICKE: I do. I was just hoping we could grab an autograph after you destroy him in the ring. You think that's still a possibility?
DUKE: Fat chance. I don't need you, supermodels, TV ratings or celebrity guests to tell me what I already know. I'm The Supremacist. The one and only. SWAs lone wolf and future world champion. Gabreal Martin's about to become yesterdays news.
ALAN THICKE: Hello, I'm Alan Thicke.
**Duke looks up from his newspaper. He gives Alan Thicke a disgusted look as he views him from head to toe.**
DUKE: You gotta be kidding me. I thought I asked for John Larroquette.
**Alan Thicke's charming smile disappears.**
ALAN THICKE: He was booked. They sent me as the backup choice.
DUKE: My backup was the guy from Mr. Belvedere.
ALAN THICKE: Alright, listen buddy. I hear the same story everywhere I go. I thought it was supposed to be John Larroquette, I thought it was supposed to be Tony Danza, I thought it was supposed to be Balki. I'm all that was available, so deal with it, okay? I'm Alan 'Freakin' Thicke. 20 years ago I was in demand, baby! Unlike those guys, I still have the charm, I still have the pearly whites, and I still have my own hair. Are we going to have a problem?
DUKE: Take it easy. I just wasn't expecting you.
**Alan Thicke nods apologetically and buckles up. The plane engine begins to come to life.**
ALAN THICKE: Can you tell me what we're doing? All the agency said was it was a hosting gig of some kind.
DUKE: Yes. Ever heard of Gabreal Martin? Didn't think so. He's kind of a nobody with an inflated ego. He has this awful reality show that I'm sure you haven't seen either called.
ALAN THICKE: Extreme Enough with Gabreal Martin??? You gotta be kidding me! I LOVE THAT SHOW! Never miss an episode! That's what I'm taking over hosting gigs on? I can't belive it! This is the break of a lifetime! Alan Thicke is back! Show me that smile again..........
DUKE: No. You're not hosting Extreme Enough. I'm going into competition on a rival network. I'm out to prove that anything Gabreal Martin can do, I can do better. I'm going to produce the greatest reality show anyone has ever seen. Here's the premise. I'm stranded on a deserted island with 2 teams of supermodels who are all vying for my affection. One by one they'll be eliminated after facing grueling dance offs. While doing this they'll also search for clues that will lead them on an Amazing Race off the island and around the world to a singing competition where they'll be judged solely by me.
**Alan Thicke blinks but doesn't respond at all. He leans back in his seat.**
ALAN THICKE: Oh.
**Duke shakes his head at Thicke and goes back to reading his newspaper.**
ALAN THICKE: So if you know Gabreal Martin, you think you can get me an autograph?
**Duke ignores Alan Thicke as the plane starts to take off.**
**The plane fuselage has been split in two. The back section is still on fire with black smoke rising from it. Duke Wallace drags a coughing Alan Thicke from the wreckage. He places him on the sand next to a group of terrified supermodels. **
SUPERMODEL #1: We're going to die.
ALAN THICKE: Wow those were some special effects, Duke. You'll blow Extreme Enough away in the ratings with production values like this.
DUKE: Alan, can I talk to you alone for a minute.
**Alan Thicke coughs some more and struggles to his feet. He limps down the beach with Duke. Duke speaks very quietly.**
DUKE: Those were no special effects. The pilot lost control in the middle of the flight. We actually crashed. This isn't part of the show.
ALAN THICKE: Oh great. I knew it! Every time I get a paying gig something like this happens!
DUKE: Calm down. I don't want to panic the supermodels. I know someone will find us eventually. They have those black box things on planes. I figure most of these supermodels are too dum,b to even know the difference between a real plane crash and a TV plane crash. We have the cameras, we have the supermodels, and we have me. We can take this and turn it into the greatest reality show anyone has ever seen. Gabreal Martin can continue to manufacture that crap he calls TV. We're going to go down in history with the real deal. All we need is a host to pull this whole thing together. What do you say? Wanna turn this tragedy into a real reality show?
**Alan Thicke places his hand on Duke's shoulder.**
ALAN THICKE: Duke, that was an inspiring speech. I will follow you to the death. My captain, my king, my brother.
DUKE: Whatever. Just start the show.
**Duke runs back to the camp of frantic supermodels. Most are bleeding and bruised.. Duke jumps up on a rock and stands heroicly with his arms crossed. Alan Thicke steps into the middle and motions for the camera man to start shooting.**
ALAN THICKE: Ladies and................ just ladies! Welcome to the first episode of the first season of "Duke Is Better Than Everyone" the newest reality show sensation! I am your host Alan Thicke, and for the next little while, we'll be competing on this island for the affections of the one and only "Supremacist" Duke Wallace! I hope you all have "recovered" from our little "show intro"
SUPERMODEL #1: Why are you making those quotations with your fingers?
ALAN THICKE: Because it's all part of the show. Everything you see is part of this brilliant ground breaking show.
SUPERMODEL #2: You mean this is all part of the show?
ALAN THICKE: I will ask you to maintain a level of panic for the cameras, but between you and me, it's all being staged.
SUPERMODEL #3: What about the dead stewardesses washing on shore?
ALAN THICKE: All being staged as part of the show.
SUPERMODEL #4: And this severed arm of the co-pilots that's in my hand?
ALAN THICKE: Just part of the show as well.
SUPERMODEL #5: And my broken wrist and this gash above my eye that won't stop bleeding?
ALAN THICKE: Uh.............. special effects.
SUPERMODEL #5: Wow!
**All of the supermodels are amazed suddenly. They seem to be buying it. Duke clears his throat to get Alan Thicke's attention.**
ALAN THICKE: And lets not forget the reason we all came here. The real mans man. The man who can do it all. Survived a car crash, broke every bone in his body, doctors said he'd never walk again. Here he stands befor eyou today ready to receive all your love and affection, "The Supremacist" Duke Wallace!
**Duke strikes a couple of poses for the girls.They respond with Oooos and Ahhhs.**
ALAN THICKE: So put down those severed arms and lets get to our first dance off!
**All the girls start to stumble through their best dance routines, which may have looked impressive had they not all been nursing fractures and sprains. Duke steps down off his pedestal and calls Alan over.**
DUKE: This isn't enough. We lost a lot in the plane crash. This is good, I'm way better than Gabreal Martin. We need to top him on every level. It's not enough that I can bench press 6 times Martin's body weight. People won't care that I have the ability to grow facial, chest and arm pit hair and he doesn't. Nobody realizes that the only reason he has success in this business is because he's spoon fed opponents by his bosses. The fans need to know that I top him in every aspect, including creating a spectacle on television. His show had celebrity guests. We have none.
ALAN THICKE: Ha! I wouldn't say none.
**Alan Thicke flashes his pearly whites.**
DUKE: I mean celebrities from this decade.
KATE: Excuse me!
**Duke and Alan Thicke turn to see which one of the girls is calling him. It's Kate Gosselin of John and Kate Plus 8! She has all 8 annoying screaming kids hanging off of her every limb.**
KATE: This show had better have a child care facility or I'm hitting the road!
DUKE: Oh how come I couldn't have perished in the crash. Someone get the bimbo out of here before she spontaneously conceives another litter.
KATE: Give me a break. You know how hard it is to be a single Mom raising 8 kids in a 6 figure reality show salary? These kids have to eat. Boob jobs don't pay for themselves either.
DUKE: Fire her, Thicke, or I'm firing you.
**Alan Thicke starts to usher Kate Gosselin and her screaming monsters to the otehr side of the beach.**
KATE: Fire me? How am I supposed to feed these kids? Have you no charity? I can't be expected to get a job, or go on welfare!
**Alan walks her away and returns to Duke.**
DUKE: I'm telling you, we have drama, we have tragedy, we have brainless supermodels. That's the entire recipe for every successful reality show. But Gabreal had the icing on the cake. Celebrity guests, and on the last episode, violence against children. We can't be expected to top that under these circumstances...................... On second thought, keep one camera on Kate for another 15 minutes. We can still top Extreme Enough. I think it's time to let the game begin.
**Alan Thicke yells over all the commotion from the engine fire to get the girls attention.**
ALAN THICKE: Alright, it's time for the first elimination round! The rules are as follows!
**A loud rumbling is heard somewhere behind the burning fuselage. Alan Thicke, Duke Wallace, and the supermodels turn around and find a fleet of helicopters in the sky flying straight toward them.**
ALAN THICKE: That would be the rescue.
DUKE: Couldn't they have waited until we at least got to the Coconut Cook Off challenge?
**The girls are screaming and running towards the helicopters for rescue. Alan puts a hand on Duke's shoulder.**
ALAN THICKE: Well my friend, you tried to be better than Gabreal Martin and you failed. Some men are born to entertain, and some men just aren't cut out for this entertainment business. You fall into the latter category. People like me and Gabreal are born for it. You should pass on my business card to him.
DUKE: I'm not born to entertain? I'm Mr. Entertainment. Gabreal Martin's show jumped the shark after episode 3. I don't need a reality show to compete with him. You forget that I'm a survivor and a hero to millions. They never doubted my superiority. You failed me, Thicke. I thought we were on the same page. I thought you wanted to show up Gabreal Martin just as much as I did.
ALAN THICKE: I do. I was just hoping we could grab an autograph after you destroy him in the ring. You think that's still a possibility?
DUKE: Fat chance. I don't need you, supermodels, TV ratings or celebrity guests to tell me what I already know. I'm The Supremacist. The one and only. SWAs lone wolf and future world champion. Gabreal Martin's about to become yesterdays news.