Post by Teen Throb on Jul 10, 2010 21:17:05 GMT -6
{-- When we last saw Teen Throb he was in the tag team victory circle with Van Der Kamp on Fever. But that has nothing to do with this story. When we last saw Teen Throb's band mates Jerry, Jack and Jaswidner they were leaving a recording studio searching for their other missing band mate JJ. That is more relevant to this story. When we last saw Watch Out band member JJ who most people know as "The Other Guy" he was checking out of his hotel to go home. We now join Teen Throb, Jerry, Jack and Jaswinder as they continue the search for their missing comrade. --}
TT- This is a waste of time.
Jerry- He's one of your oldest friends and an important member of this group. How can you say that?
TT- Because I'm the front man and he isn't. JJ is totally replaceable. We'll stick a mannequin in a glitter shirt on stage behind a mic and the fans will never know the difference.
Jack- You can be a real jerk sometimes.
TT- No I'm a realist. My star status is what pays for your buffet lunches Jack, and for your gambling debts Jerry, and for us keeping Jaswinder in the country legally. You guys want to go back to your day jobs then by all means keep wasting your time looking for JJ. You want to see your next pay check then help me figure out a way to beat Geriatric One Waylon Hawthorne this week.
Jaswinder- Enough with the wrestling dude. That's your deal not ours. We're singers not valets.
TT- You remember the motto I created when I singled handedely formed this band and made us superstars. What worked for Cindy Lauper will work for us. She was a singer and wrestling valet so that's what youll do. Now get those cool new pink headbands I boughtyou on and follow me to the old age home.
Jerry- Why do we have to go to an old age home?
TT- There are frail old men and crippled old ladies there.
Jerry- And?
TT- What do you mean AND? You don't see the opportunity in roughing up a bunch of frail old people? That's the kind of extra ciricular activities that make the world go round. Consider it good target practice for Hawthorne.
Jaswinder- You're really sick. We're going to look for JJ. He may be lost or have amnesia or be lost with amnesia. He could be in trouble with the law or in trouble with the gangs. We need to find him. For once I'm not going to let you and your ego dictate everything we do. We are going to work together as a team and find our lost friend. Got it?
TT- Fine. Have your way for once.
Jaswinder- Good. Now where are we going to start looking?
TT- I say the old age home.
Jaswinder- He's not going to be at the old age home. We need to start somewhere logial like the bus station or the hospital. I have a great idea. There's a bus station right next door to the hospital. We can start there.
TT- Or we could look in the old age home. JJ was always so fond of the elderly.
Jerry- You're making that up.
Jack- Yeah that's the dumbest suggestion ever. Stop trying to dominate our every action with your hidden agenda.
Jaswinder- We'll put it to a vote. All those in favor of the hospital next door to the bus station raise your hand.
{-- Jaswinder, Jerry and Jack all raise their hands. --}
TT- Right. And how about all those in favor of the old age home, where we can rough up some geezers. Where they have early bird dinner buffets and all day long games of Bingo and Gin Rummy. Show of hands?
{-- An hour later we pick up with Watch Out outside of the local old age home. Teen Throb, Jack and Jerry are all looking mighty pleased while Jaswinder scowls. --}
Jaswinder- Way to show some loyalty to your loost band member.
TT- It wouldn't be a thorough search unless we checked every establishment. Trust me I'm just as concerned about finding Jerry as the rest of you.
Jerry- I'm right here.
TT- Phew. Thank God that search is over. We've missed you old pal.
Jaswinder- We're not looking for Jerry we're looking for JJ.
TT- I knew that. I'm just as concerned with finding JJ as the rest of you. He's my oldest friend. He's like a brotehr to me. I don't know what I'd do without him. Now you guys go off and look for that no talent hack. I wonder if Hawthorne is around here.
{-- Teen Throb enters the old age home. Jaswinder does not look pleased with him. --}
Jaswinder- Well boys?
Jerry- I'm going to find a Gin Rummy game.
Jack- I'm going to find the dinner buffet.
{-- Jerry and Jack wander off on their own leaving Jaswinder behind. Inside the old age home Teen Throb is ducking behind every corner acting like a spy. Jaswinder comes up behind him and taps Teen Throb on the shoulder while he's spying on a few old guys chatting in the lunch room. Jaswinder susrprises TT enough to make him jump. --}
TT- What's the big idea sneaking up on me like that?
Jaswinder- What are you doing?
TT- If you must know I'm trying to find a target to practice my geezer beatings on. I don't want to be rusty going into Fevre.
Jaswinder- And what does that have to do with JJ?
TT- You didn't let me finish. JJ may very well have run away and disguised himself as a senior citizen. We have to cover all bases. Besides don't pretend like you're so concerned about JJ. He disappeared 2 weeks ago and you only decided to come look for him at the last minute before Saturday Night Fever. Talk about procrastinating.
{--Teen Throb crawls behind a water fountain and continues to spy on the old guys chatting it up in the hall. --}
TT- You heard what Hawthorne said about me too. He thinks I'm an effeminate crotch thruster. That's only half true. While he's been getting spongue baths from nurse Cratchet and downing those blood pressure pills I've been out there making myself a Hardcore icon. They're finally bringing the Extreme Combat title back and I want it. I'm the only one qualified to carry it. Double victories over Captain Insanity. You know him. The former Hardcore icon of SWA. Nobody busts a move like Teen Throb and nobody busts a head open like Teen Throb. I'm the real extreme. Extremely talented, extremely gorgeous, extremely hardcore. The only thing extreme about old man Hawthorne is his right wing crotchety family values. That and to describe the size of his prostate! Take that Hawthorne! One mamogram comin up.
Jaswinder- Do you even know what a mamogram is?
TT- Do I know what a mamogram is?
Jaswinder- Are you answering my questions with a question because you don't know?
TT- Am I answering your questions with a question because I don't know?
{--Down the hall; the two old guys break up. One walks away limping a little and the other pulls out a walker to help himself down the hall. Teen Throb keeps his eyes on the guy using the walker. --}
TT- That's our boy.
Jaswinder- What about him?
TT- Prey on the weakest and most defenseless. That's what got my voted class president in high school, and what got Schwarzenneger into the Governer's mansion. Grab that crutch over against the wall there. It's time to get in some seniors beating practice. Maybe send old man Hawthorne a message in the process. Follow me.
{--Teen Throb does some ridiculous rolls down the hall as he secretly follows the guy in the walker. The old man fumbles with his keys and opens a door to what's most likely his room. He closes the door behind him. Teen Throb does a few more rolls down the hall. He stops outside of the old man's room and stands up to grab the door knob. He nods for Jaswinder to follow him. --}
Jaswinder- I don't think so. You're on your own this time.
TT- Suit yourself.
{--Teen Throb turns the knob and enters the room. He slams the door behind him. Not long after that there's a high pitched girlish scream from inside the room. Jaswinder rushes to the door to find out what's going on. It opens in his face. Teen Throb stands in the doorway with his back facing Jaswinder. He's slowly backing up out of the room with his hands over his head. As Teen Throb steps out of the room Jaswinder now sees the old man with the walker holding a shotgun to Teen Throb's head. --}
Old Man- We may be old, but we're heavily armed. Get out of here before I pump your guts full of lead.
{-- A few brief seconds later Teen Throb and Jaswinder are running out of the old folks home. They stop on the sidewalk outside the home to catch their breath. They find Jerry and Jack sitting on the ground looking miserable. --}
TT- What happened to you guys?
Jerry- They caught me cheating at Gin and pulled a blade on me. Cut right through my silk shirt and drew blood too.
TT- And you Jack?
Jack- Apparently they don't like you cutting in line at the salad bar. I got maced in the eyes by Ethel and Mildred.
TT- I hope you boys learnt a lesson. Old people like Ethel, Mildred, Hawthorne and that crazy guy with the shotgun may be old, but they still pack a mighty punch. It's like they all are part of some secret gang that lives to cause pain and suffering to anyone young and attractive, and also hurt people like Jack too. I can't take Hawthorne or anyone else too lightly ever again. Hawthorne has to have a lot of bite to still be in this business. All I know is that I want that Extreme Combat title. I missed out on the SWA title at Spring Break Down tournament and I'm okay with that. I missed out on a guaranteed title shot again a few weeks ago on Fever to Van Der Kamp and I'm okay with that too. I'm not in this for the showiness of the main event. I'm in it to bust some moves and bust some heads. Hawthorne can trash my music all he wants. I don't need him to tell me that "Hey Baby" and "Girl I'm Your Man" have no soul. That's for the 12 year old girls to decide. He's clearly taken me lightly and I'm not going to make the same mistake. When it comes to my music everyone including Hawthorne's grandson know I rock. He hates my style and I couldn't care less. But after tomorrow night he will know I'm the one and only hardcore hero of SWA.
Jaswinder- What about JJ?
TT- He can wait. Payday comes first.
TT- This is a waste of time.
Jerry- He's one of your oldest friends and an important member of this group. How can you say that?
TT- Because I'm the front man and he isn't. JJ is totally replaceable. We'll stick a mannequin in a glitter shirt on stage behind a mic and the fans will never know the difference.
Jack- You can be a real jerk sometimes.
TT- No I'm a realist. My star status is what pays for your buffet lunches Jack, and for your gambling debts Jerry, and for us keeping Jaswinder in the country legally. You guys want to go back to your day jobs then by all means keep wasting your time looking for JJ. You want to see your next pay check then help me figure out a way to beat Geriatric One Waylon Hawthorne this week.
Jaswinder- Enough with the wrestling dude. That's your deal not ours. We're singers not valets.
TT- You remember the motto I created when I singled handedely formed this band and made us superstars. What worked for Cindy Lauper will work for us. She was a singer and wrestling valet so that's what youll do. Now get those cool new pink headbands I boughtyou on and follow me to the old age home.
Jerry- Why do we have to go to an old age home?
TT- There are frail old men and crippled old ladies there.
Jerry- And?
TT- What do you mean AND? You don't see the opportunity in roughing up a bunch of frail old people? That's the kind of extra ciricular activities that make the world go round. Consider it good target practice for Hawthorne.
Jaswinder- You're really sick. We're going to look for JJ. He may be lost or have amnesia or be lost with amnesia. He could be in trouble with the law or in trouble with the gangs. We need to find him. For once I'm not going to let you and your ego dictate everything we do. We are going to work together as a team and find our lost friend. Got it?
TT- Fine. Have your way for once.
Jaswinder- Good. Now where are we going to start looking?
TT- I say the old age home.
Jaswinder- He's not going to be at the old age home. We need to start somewhere logial like the bus station or the hospital. I have a great idea. There's a bus station right next door to the hospital. We can start there.
TT- Or we could look in the old age home. JJ was always so fond of the elderly.
Jerry- You're making that up.
Jack- Yeah that's the dumbest suggestion ever. Stop trying to dominate our every action with your hidden agenda.
Jaswinder- We'll put it to a vote. All those in favor of the hospital next door to the bus station raise your hand.
{-- Jaswinder, Jerry and Jack all raise their hands. --}
TT- Right. And how about all those in favor of the old age home, where we can rough up some geezers. Where they have early bird dinner buffets and all day long games of Bingo and Gin Rummy. Show of hands?
{-- An hour later we pick up with Watch Out outside of the local old age home. Teen Throb, Jack and Jerry are all looking mighty pleased while Jaswinder scowls. --}
Jaswinder- Way to show some loyalty to your loost band member.
TT- It wouldn't be a thorough search unless we checked every establishment. Trust me I'm just as concerned about finding Jerry as the rest of you.
Jerry- I'm right here.
TT- Phew. Thank God that search is over. We've missed you old pal.
Jaswinder- We're not looking for Jerry we're looking for JJ.
TT- I knew that. I'm just as concerned with finding JJ as the rest of you. He's my oldest friend. He's like a brotehr to me. I don't know what I'd do without him. Now you guys go off and look for that no talent hack. I wonder if Hawthorne is around here.
{-- Teen Throb enters the old age home. Jaswinder does not look pleased with him. --}
Jaswinder- Well boys?
Jerry- I'm going to find a Gin Rummy game.
Jack- I'm going to find the dinner buffet.
{-- Jerry and Jack wander off on their own leaving Jaswinder behind. Inside the old age home Teen Throb is ducking behind every corner acting like a spy. Jaswinder comes up behind him and taps Teen Throb on the shoulder while he's spying on a few old guys chatting in the lunch room. Jaswinder susrprises TT enough to make him jump. --}
TT- What's the big idea sneaking up on me like that?
Jaswinder- What are you doing?
TT- If you must know I'm trying to find a target to practice my geezer beatings on. I don't want to be rusty going into Fevre.
Jaswinder- And what does that have to do with JJ?
TT- You didn't let me finish. JJ may very well have run away and disguised himself as a senior citizen. We have to cover all bases. Besides don't pretend like you're so concerned about JJ. He disappeared 2 weeks ago and you only decided to come look for him at the last minute before Saturday Night Fever. Talk about procrastinating.
{--Teen Throb crawls behind a water fountain and continues to spy on the old guys chatting it up in the hall. --}
TT- You heard what Hawthorne said about me too. He thinks I'm an effeminate crotch thruster. That's only half true. While he's been getting spongue baths from nurse Cratchet and downing those blood pressure pills I've been out there making myself a Hardcore icon. They're finally bringing the Extreme Combat title back and I want it. I'm the only one qualified to carry it. Double victories over Captain Insanity. You know him. The former Hardcore icon of SWA. Nobody busts a move like Teen Throb and nobody busts a head open like Teen Throb. I'm the real extreme. Extremely talented, extremely gorgeous, extremely hardcore. The only thing extreme about old man Hawthorne is his right wing crotchety family values. That and to describe the size of his prostate! Take that Hawthorne! One mamogram comin up.
Jaswinder- Do you even know what a mamogram is?
TT- Do I know what a mamogram is?
Jaswinder- Are you answering my questions with a question because you don't know?
TT- Am I answering your questions with a question because I don't know?
{--Down the hall; the two old guys break up. One walks away limping a little and the other pulls out a walker to help himself down the hall. Teen Throb keeps his eyes on the guy using the walker. --}
TT- That's our boy.
Jaswinder- What about him?
TT- Prey on the weakest and most defenseless. That's what got my voted class president in high school, and what got Schwarzenneger into the Governer's mansion. Grab that crutch over against the wall there. It's time to get in some seniors beating practice. Maybe send old man Hawthorne a message in the process. Follow me.
{--Teen Throb does some ridiculous rolls down the hall as he secretly follows the guy in the walker. The old man fumbles with his keys and opens a door to what's most likely his room. He closes the door behind him. Teen Throb does a few more rolls down the hall. He stops outside of the old man's room and stands up to grab the door knob. He nods for Jaswinder to follow him. --}
Jaswinder- I don't think so. You're on your own this time.
TT- Suit yourself.
{--Teen Throb turns the knob and enters the room. He slams the door behind him. Not long after that there's a high pitched girlish scream from inside the room. Jaswinder rushes to the door to find out what's going on. It opens in his face. Teen Throb stands in the doorway with his back facing Jaswinder. He's slowly backing up out of the room with his hands over his head. As Teen Throb steps out of the room Jaswinder now sees the old man with the walker holding a shotgun to Teen Throb's head. --}
Old Man- We may be old, but we're heavily armed. Get out of here before I pump your guts full of lead.
{-- A few brief seconds later Teen Throb and Jaswinder are running out of the old folks home. They stop on the sidewalk outside the home to catch their breath. They find Jerry and Jack sitting on the ground looking miserable. --}
TT- What happened to you guys?
Jerry- They caught me cheating at Gin and pulled a blade on me. Cut right through my silk shirt and drew blood too.
TT- And you Jack?
Jack- Apparently they don't like you cutting in line at the salad bar. I got maced in the eyes by Ethel and Mildred.
TT- I hope you boys learnt a lesson. Old people like Ethel, Mildred, Hawthorne and that crazy guy with the shotgun may be old, but they still pack a mighty punch. It's like they all are part of some secret gang that lives to cause pain and suffering to anyone young and attractive, and also hurt people like Jack too. I can't take Hawthorne or anyone else too lightly ever again. Hawthorne has to have a lot of bite to still be in this business. All I know is that I want that Extreme Combat title. I missed out on the SWA title at Spring Break Down tournament and I'm okay with that. I missed out on a guaranteed title shot again a few weeks ago on Fever to Van Der Kamp and I'm okay with that too. I'm not in this for the showiness of the main event. I'm in it to bust some moves and bust some heads. Hawthorne can trash my music all he wants. I don't need him to tell me that "Hey Baby" and "Girl I'm Your Man" have no soul. That's for the 12 year old girls to decide. He's clearly taken me lightly and I'm not going to make the same mistake. When it comes to my music everyone including Hawthorne's grandson know I rock. He hates my style and I couldn't care less. But after tomorrow night he will know I'm the one and only hardcore hero of SWA.
Jaswinder- What about JJ?
TT- He can wait. Payday comes first.