Post by Sedition: The Rev on May 31, 2010 23:35:20 GMT -6
(OOC: I apologize for these results being below our usual standard. The matches are all complete, as are the segments, but due to the flood I mentioned yesterday, and a huge increase in work because of it, I didn't have time to format everything with colors. Still should be a good read though. Lots of storyline progression. Thanks to all who contributed.)
-----------------------------------
PRESENTS
Live from
REGINA, SASKATCHEWAN, CANADA
_________________________
**Captain Insanity is arriving at the arena. He walks through the parking lot looking determined. As he hears a whisper behind him he turns around. Standing behind him are 5 men wearing ski-masks. They would be perfectly disguised and otherwise unrecognizable if it weren't for the fact that all 5 of them were wearing offical Watch Out t-shirts.**
CAPTAIN INSANITY: What the?
GUY THAT SOUNDS LIKE TEEN THROB: Take this!
**The masked man wearing a Watch Out t-shirt who sounds identical to Teen Throb clocks Insanity over the head with a baseball bat. After that the other 4 guys wearing ski-masks and Watch Out t-shirts all join in on the attack. They pound Captain Insanity until he's lying motionless on the pavement with blood streaming out of his head. They all high five each other.**
GUY THAT SOUNDS LIKE TEEN THROB: Score one for me!
**The gang runs off, leaving Insanity unconcious. The sounds of ambulance sirens in the distance echoes.
It now cuts inside the arena, where Joe Aiello and Skippy Mohophosite are at ringside shouting over a deafening crowd in the background.**
JOE: What was that all about?
SKIPPY: Must be the mob again. Insanity has always had problems with them.
JOE: Do the mafia usually run around weaing t-shirts of washed up boy bands?
SKIPPY: I don't know. Does Il Divo count?
JOE: I think Teen Throb and his gang just pulled off the worse disguised sneak attack in history. He was set to do battle with Captain Insanity again tonight. They've been involved in the most heated feud in SWA, and everyone was hoping it would be resolved tonight.
SKIPPY: Well if that was Teen Throb and Watch Out, then I think the feud just got settled.
JOE: We'll see what Captain Insanity has to say about that. We have a lot to get to tonight. New SWA Champ Ian DeTornado will not only have a rematch with Duke Wallace, but also with one of the men he defeated in the Spring Breakdown Championship tournament last month. We're talking about Larsen Van Der Kamp. Van Der Kamp definitely wants a rematch, but tonight the title will NOT be on the line.
SKIPPY: First up is everyone's favorite.
JOE: Of course! “Geriatric” Waylon Hawthorne.
SKIPPY: No. I'm talking about his opponent, The Chosen One Gabreal Martin. What world are you living in?
JOE: Uh....... the world where Gabreal Martin is more hated than an infected growth on Rosie O'Donnell's rectum. This is SWA's off site match of the night. The First ever Seniors Home Brawl. We go live now to the seniors home, where Gabreal Martin and Waylon Hawthorne are ready to square off.
Gabreal Martin walks through the stale hallways of the Regina nursing home. A referee is walking a short distance behind. Gabreal is looking for Waylon Hawthorne. He walks up to a door and swings it open. On the otherside there's an elderly man changing his clothes. He is naked from the waist down. Gabreal shields his eyes and shudders. The old man slams the door in Gabreal's face. Hawthorne comes from behind and hits Gabreal over the head with a full bedpan. The liquid contents of the bedpan spill all over Gabreal. Gabreal starts puking.
AIELLO: We're only a few minutes into the show, and I'm already disgusted.
SKIPPY: That's more bodily fluids then I ever wanted to see.
Hawthorne grabs Gabreal by the head and drags him to the recreation area. He grabs Gabreal by the head and smashes it down on the corner of a ping pong table. He smashes Gabreal's head down 5 consecutive times. Gabreal rests his head on the table and Hawthorne grabs a ping pong paddle. He swings the paddle and hits Gabreal over the head with it. Gabreal stumbles backwards. Hawthorne takes off his belt. He swings his belt and whips Gabreal across the back with it. He whips him several times and leaves a welt on Gabreal's back. Hawthorne swings the belt with great force, but Gabreal reaches out and snatches it. Hawthorne hangs on and the two begin a tug of war over the belt. Gabreal tugs it hard and pulls Hawthorne towards him. He hits Hawthorne with a hard Short Arm Clothesline. Hawthorne hits the ground Gabreal picks him up. He takes him by the head and drags him towards the television set. Gabreal smashes Hawthorne's face into the screen of the television and Hawthorne's face smashes straight through the glass screen leaving pieces of glass everywhere.
SKIPPY: Waylon Hawthorne is living the dream. He's gotten his face on the TV, or should I say in the TV.
AIELLO: I'm just wondering who's gonna pay for that broken TV.
SKIPPY: Word is, Rev and Gladiator are taking it out of your salary.
Gabreal picks Hawthorne up. Blood trickles down from Hawthorne's forehead. Gabreal Pulls Hawthorne over to the ping pong table. He lifts Hawthorn up on his shoulders and Drives Hawthorne through the ping pong table with a Death Valley Driver. The ping pong table shatters and Gabreal goes for the cover,
1...
2...
Hawthorne kicks out. Martin tries to picks Hawthorne up , but Hawthorne hits him with a lowblow. Martin stumbles back and bumps into a table with a record player on it. The record needle falls into place. The sounds of Cab Calloway's "Minnie The Moocher starts to play.
"folk's here's the story 'bout Minnie the Moocher
she was a red hot hoochie coocher
she was the roughest, toughest frail
but Minnie had a heart a big as a whale"
As the background singers begin to sing their Hidey-Hi's a large group of senior citizens come into the room and start swing dancing. A very ugly, heavyset old lady grabs Gabreal and starts dancing with him. He tries to struggle out of her grasps, but her arms have swallowed him up. The dancers form a circle around Hawthorne who is dancing the meanest Charleston since Jimmy Stewart danced in It's A Wonderful Life. The heavyset old lady tosses Gabreal towards Hawthorne. Hawthorne catches him in mid air and drops him with a Spinebuster. Hawthorne goes for the cover,
1...
2...
Martins kicks out.
AIELLO: This could quite possibly be the strangest sight I have ever seen on SWA Television, and that's saying something.
SKIPPY: Hey that songs kind of catchy. Sing it with me Joe, 'Hidey-Hi, Hidey-Hi'.
AIELLO: I'd rather put a drillbit through my temple.
The heavyset woman tries to grab Gabreal again, but Gabreal crawls between her legs. He runs over to the record player, picks it up and smashes it on the ground. The song stops, and all the old people hang their heads and pout as they leave the room. Gabreal picks the record off the ground and tosses it as a frisbee. It hits Hawthorne on the forehead. Hawthorne stumbles back. Gabreal charges after him and hits him with a spear. The spear sends both men crashing through a door and into the therapeutic spa room. Gabreal grabs Hawthorne by the head and dunks him head first into the mineral whirlpool. He holds Hawthorne's head under the water. Hawthorne swings his arms around, but after 30 seconds under the water he seems to die out. He picks Hawthorne's head out of the water. Hawthorne looks at Gabreal and spits a mouth full of water into his eyes. Hawthorne grabs Gabreal by the head and flips him into the pool. Hawthorne gets a running start and jumps into the air. He does a cannonball and lands on Gabreal's floating body. Hawthorne holds Gabreal's head under water and punches him hard to the head.
AIELLO: Only in the SWA will you see a match with two competitors fighting in a pool.
SKIPPY: That's not true, I've seen it before. Of course that was two women in bikinis and it was a kiddie pool full of jello, but same idea.
Gabreal fights his way out. He grabs Hawthorne by the head and hits his head down hard on the concrete at the edge of the pool. Gabreal tosses him out of the pool. Gabreal climbs out. He covers Hawthorne,
1...
2...
Hawthorne kicks out. Gabreal picks him up and tosses him through another door. This one is the women's change room. Gabreal walks in and sees three old ladies changing into their swimsuits. He screams and covers his eyes. Hawthorne laughs. He hits Gabreal with a dropkick, and Gabreal hits the ground. Hawthorne picks him up and drags him down the hallway. Hawthorne tosses Gabreal through a door into one of the medical rooms. Hawthorne grabs the difibulator and charges it up. Gabreal rests his head against a medicine cabinet and reaches up. He grabs a bottle of iodine and takes the cap off. Hawthorne drags the difibulator paddles over to Gabreal and leans down with the paddles in hand. Gabreal splashes the iodine in Hawthorne's eyes. Hawthorne screams and grabs is eyes. He rushes over to a sink and begins to flush his eyes out. Gabreal picks up the difibulator paddles. He sneaks up behind Hawthorne and places the paddles on either side of his head. Gabreal zaps Hawthorne. Hawthorne shakes from the shock and drops down on the ground. Gabreal goes for the cover,
1...
2...
Hawthorne kicks out.
AIELLO: I am in awe. Just when I think the SWA can't get any stranger, we are subjected to this match.
SKIPPY: I would comment on this, but I've been to scared to look at the monitor since we saw the women's change room. That has scarred me for life.
Gabreal picks Hawthorne up and sets him up for THE END TIME. Unfortunately, Hawthorne left the water in the sink running and it is over flowing. Martin slips on the water and falls backwards. He drags Hawthorne with him. Both men stumble across the floor. Hawthorne reaches down and grabs the difibulator paddle. Martin stops himself from falling by putting his hand in the sink. Hawthorne sticks the paddle under the water of the over flowing sink and both men get electrocuted. Martin drops to the ground unconcious, and Hawthorne falls on top of him. Both men are unconcious, but Hawthorne has Gabreal covered. The ref gets in position to count,
1...
2...
The door busts open, and the two men in white coats that had been chasing Hawthorne pick Hawthorne up and put handcuffs on him and drag him away. Nurse Cratchett stands next to a male nurse with a striking resemblence to him.
NURSE CRATCHETT: Thanks for the help cousin. Good to know I've got friend's in Regina.
REGINA NURSE: Glad to help. Put a good word in for me in Moose Jaw. They have a superior benefits package.
The men in white coats drag away the unconcious Hawthorne, and Gabreal Martin lies unconcious on the ground. The referee shrugs his shoulders and walks away.
WINNER:
??
JOE: That was beyond weird.
SKIPPY: Good to see Martin pick up a win.
JOE: He didn't pick up a win. Neither did Hawthorne. I'm not entirely sure what did happen?
SKIPPY: What happened is Hawthorne is back in custody wher ehe belongs.
JOE: He's a frail old man who deserves some freedom. One day he will have it.
SKIPPY: And one day Gabreal Martin will have the SWA Championship. I guarantee that.
JOE: We'll see.
(We open up backstage where we see Michael Saint walking down the halls when he is approached by Larsen Van Der Kamp.)
Larsen: Just the man that I wanted to see.
Michael Saint: Larsen for what do I owe this welcome conversation?
Larsen: I am sure that you know how I feel about The Sedition and in paticular one Gabreal Martin.
Michael Saint: Yes I do and I share most of those feelings with you.
Larsen: I know you have power here Mr. Saint. You have the power to make matches.
Michael Saint: Quite so what are you getting at?
Larsen: I want a match next week and not just any match. I want Gabreal Martin last week.
Michael Saint: Really why is that?
Larsen: We all saw what happened at Spring Breakdown. The Sedition fought to screw me over royally that night and make him a star at my expense. I want my revenge on him.
Michael Saint: You know what Larsen I think I can do that for you. I think next week we need to see Gabreal Martin vs Larsen Van Der Kamp.
(Gabreal Martin walks in fresh off his match with Waylon Hawthorne.)
Michael Saint: We were just talking about you. That was fast. How did you get here so quick?
Gabreal: Nursing home was just around the corner. What do you want Saint?
Michael Saint: I want what he wants and he wants a match with you next week.
Gabreal: I do not think so. I mean I can beat him easy I do not need to prove that. Your request is declined.
Michael Saint: Oh how you wish you had a say in this Gabreal. I regret to inform you that you don't and you will be having this match next week.
Gabreal: You can't do that to me. Do you have any idea who I am?
Larsen: The man that is going to get an ass kicking from me next week.
Gabreal: I will not stand for this and neither will anyone else in The Sedition. You have not heard the last of this subject tonight Saint.
(Gabe storms off.)
{{-A radio dial. Broadcast being found. Dusty Springfields' "Son Of A Preacher Man" plays.-}}[/i]
[]Our scene fades from black, two large headlights blind us for only a moment and then into view comes a 1937 Jaguar SS100. It's boat-like chassis with exposed engine is bonded by a dark maroon and a black trim. Rumbling down an unknown road, a man with short-wavy dirty blonde hair and a cigarette hanging from his lip represent the driver of the classic motor vehicle. He has one hand on the wheel, another hanging right over the side door with nothing but a cool breeze in the air. He takes a few pulls with his free hand and the smoke dances into the night sky, his right eye brighter and whiter than the other, not even a full moon could make it shine as it did and there is no moon to speak of.[]
{{-"Bein' good isn't always easy; No matter how hard I try; When he started sweet-talkin' to me; He'd come and tell me everythings alright; He'd kiss and tell me everything is alright; Can I get away tonight?"
Slight break in signal. He bangs on the dashboard with a quick pound.
"The only one who could ever reach me; Was the son of a preacher man"-}}
[]As our man with no name drives down this desolate highway, his mind wanders. It goes through flashbacks of his past, both glorious and treacherous. He thinks of his advancements and achievements but also the agony of defeat. He thinks about the contract he signed days prior. Bringing him back into the battle field in a land of misfits. He knew what this new deal on life entails. Sedition Wrestling Alliance. What's there? Who's there? If he knew all of that, it'd be too easy. What he does know is this time he's becoming more universal. No longer regulated just from the states, but around the globe. The Damned Crew will watch, confident of that. Nobody will ever step foward, he knows that all too well. Life has to keep moving though and inside an arena, confined in what is known as the squarded-circle to some, the boxed-stage showcases how resiliant one man can be.
The exit comes into view. Throwing on his blinker he rides off the freeway and into a city. The sign reads "Welcome To Regina". He follows the GPS but misses a few turns due to it's delay. He's become accustomed to it and learned to live with the fact that technology really plays discrepencies in people's lives. A sports complex comes into view, he continues on the road leading there.
JOE: Somebody's coming.
SKIPPY: Who?
JOE: I don't know. He doesn't look familiar to me. But one thing's for sure.
SKIPPY: He drives a better car than you?
JOE: Okay two things are sure. He drives a better car than me, and he looks like he means business.
**Gabreal Martin throws open the office door of the SWA Owners and General Managers, The Rev and Gladiator. He paces back and forth**
REV: Yes?
GABREAL: I came here to have you solve my problem.
REV: What problem is that?
GABREAL: Larsen Van Der Kamp.
GLADIATOR: RighT! Good old Larkin.
GABREAL: It's Larsen. Saint says I'm booked against him next week
GLADIATOR: Done deal. It'll make a spectacular main event. Can't wait to see you guys go at it again. What a show that will be.
GABREAL: No! I want you to find a way to cancel the match.
REV: Cancel it? Why?
GABREAL: Because I'm above him. Because I have nothing to prove against him. Because I don't like the look of his face. Take your pick. Just get me out of it.
**Rev and Gladiator give each other a nod.**
REV: We'll work it out. Now go take a shower. You still smell like old people.[/color]
JOE: What a whiny, no good......
SKIPPY: Next SWA Champion!
JOE: Not exactly how I was going to finish my sentence.
SKIPPY: Next SWA Champion.
JOE: While Gabreal is weaselling his way out of a match with Van Der Kamp next week, the current SWA Champion will prove yet again he's more of a man than The Chosen One by not only facing Van Der Kamp, but also Duke Wallace at the same time. It's a Non-Title match, but a win over the champ here could mean big things.
The three men stare across the ring at one another. Wallace nods to De Tornado, who nods in return. Suddenly, surprising everyone, VDK throws himself across the ring for a diving double clothesline. He knocks both men off their feet and bounces back up to his. He turns first to De Tornado and drags him to his feet, whipping him to the ropes, and then sidewalk slamming him on the return.
VDK turns his attention to Wallace. He lifts Wallace up and goes to suplex him, but Wallace blocks. Wallace throws a couple of jabs to the face of VDK. Wallace winds back and throws a punch that staggers VDK. Wallace flips up and grabs VDK in a standing hurricanrana. He goes for the pin.
…1.. .
De Tornado breaks the count.
VDK slowly gets back to his feet as Wallace and De Tornado square off. He takes a breather from his initial onslaught. De Tornado kicks, catching Wallace in the midsection. Wallace bends over, and De Tornado takes him down with a DDT. De Tornado bounces back to his feet, but comes up quick with a shove that knocks De Tornado off balance. De Tornado starts to recover, but Wallace ducks and dives at De Tornado, hitting a hard spear to the gut. He goes for the pin.
1…
2…
VDK from the top with a frog splash to break the count.
Wallace is first to his feet, but VDK quickly takes him back down with a low blow. De Tornado grabs VDK by the head and lifts him to his feet. De Tornado nails an uppercut, sending VDK stumbling backwards. VDK backpedals, and De Tornado starts laying in chops to the chest. De Tornado shoves against the ropes and goes to whip him to the other side, but VDK reverses. De Tornado hits the rope and bounces back into a tilt a whirl slam from VDK. VDK goes for the cover.
..1
….2
… De Tornado is able to get a shoulder up.
De Tornado and VDK are both back up now, battling it out. VDK whips De Tornado toward Wallace. De Tornado avoids the collision and leaps onto the turnbuckle. De Tornado hits a spinning kick and VDK goes sprawling as De Tornado lands. He is about to follow up, but Wallace stops him with a full nelson slam out of nowhere. VDK swings at Wallace, who manages to dodge the punch and take him down with a quick armbar submission.
VDK yells in pain and frustration, squinting his eyes against the pain in his arm and shoulder. He looks like he’s ready to tap, but De Tornado grabs Wallace. Wallace releases the hold as De Tornado stops him a few times before nailing a short arm suplex. De Tornado quickly turns to VDKs and puts him in a hammerlock. He uses the force of the hold to put VDK at his mercy, and drags him up to his feet. VDK is struggling against the pain, but still standing. De Tornado cranks the arm around another time, and VDK cries out against the pressure on his joints. De Tornado lifts up the arm, about to jerk it back down, when VDK suddenly drops to his knees.De Tornado is about to crank the arm some more, but VDK plants a foot. The crowd begins stomping and cheering.
The crowd gets louder and louder as VDK pushes off and get back to his feet. De Tornado looks surprised, but goes to crank the arm anyway. Just as he is about to duck under, VDK does a front flip, landing on his feet and straitening his arm out. He grabs De Tornado with his pained arm, and nails a short arm clothesline. The crowd explodes. VDK catches a breath after knocking De Tornado down, but isn’t long for it as De Tornado gets back up. De Tornado runs at VDK, just as Wallace regains his composure and makes a run from the other side.
VDK steps back at the last second and De Tornado and Wallace crash into each other. VDK surveys the damage before climbing the turnbuckle. He leaps from the top rope and hits his finisher, The Memory Remains on a prone Wallace. VDK gives De Tornado a few stomps before covering Wallance.
…1
….2
….3
Winner: Larsen Van Der Kamp
JOE: What an upset! Van Der Kamp has just defeated the SWA Champion!
SKIPPY: Big deal. Gabreal Martin could have done it blind folded.
JOE: It was a non title match, but that puts Tornado and Van Der Kamp at one win a piece against each other. Maybe that will be enough to earn Van Der Kamp a rematch for the belt this time.
Circling the stadium, the back lot reaches way into the back. A gate fences off the parking lot and a security booth sits right outside of it. The SS100 pulls up and the security guard looks up from his newspaper wide-eyed.[]
Security Guard: Nice car mate. How can I help you?
(Presenting paperwork)Man With No Name: Here to make an impression.
(Taking the papers, flipping through the pages)Security Guard: I'm sorry?
Man With No Name: You see, once you let me through those doors, there won't be any turning back. Nobody is safe.
Security Guard: Uhh..sir?...I, I can't let you on the premises with those words.
Man With No Name: Only joking partna. I'm one of the new grapplers in SWA, that's why I presented those documents. I'm simply here for the show.
(Unsure eye contact, re-reading papers)Security Guard: All of you boys are a sure riot! I can never tell how you mean what you say considering you guys are always talking some trash back and fourth. How do you get along when not on camera?
Man With No Name: Were here for all the same reason..uhm?...What's your name?
Security Officer: My name is David.
Man With No Name: David, the whole of us know what were here for. The some of us are here to entertain. The lot of us are here because it's a damn good lively hood. And the dozen of us travel to find the answers that can't be found elsewhere. Then.. then there's those few.
David the Security Guard: And what about those few?
Man With No Name: You better get three coffins ready.
[]The Man With No Name smiles as David hands back the sheets. He opens the gate and waves this man in, waving his hand up as the Jaguar SS100 finds itself inside the mouth of the garage.
He pulls up the roof on the car and locks it up. Walking to the back entrance, he shuffles through his jacket to pull out an ID card. Another security guard at the door gives it a once over and let's him into the building. The brown duster coat blows out just a bit, the door closes and now this Man With No Name blends right into the sea of busy people. Don't blink..or you might just miss him.
**The Rev is walking backstage looking for someone. The man in the brown coat passes by him. Rev gives him a suspicious glance. The man with no name smiles and keeps walking. Rev slowly heads back down the corridor. He runs in to Michael Saint.**
REV: Did you hire that guy?
SAINT: What guy?
REV: That one that just passed me.
SAINT: I didn't see anyone. And I haven't hired anyone new.
REV: Hmm.......... Anyway......... straight to the point. You booked Gabreal Martin in a match next week against Larsen Van Der Kamp.
SAINT: Don't even try it. My contract gives me booking power, including over Gabreal.
REV: No more games. This is legit. Unfortunately there's been a slight oversight. It seems next Saturday is the day Gabreal is scheduled to appear on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. He won't be available for that match. Shame too. He was ever so excited about facing Van Der Kamp again.
SAINT: Strange. The Tonight Show dooesn't air on Saturday.
REV: Yeah.......... about that.......... they've decided to............. pretape the interview. Trying to work around Gabreal's hectic schedule. He's a hot commodity these days.
**Saint lets out a sigh of defeat.**
SAINT: Don't think I'm going to let up like that. Gabreal can't come up with excuses every week. One of these days he'll have nothing left to hide behind. Then Van Der Kamp will get his match.
**Rev smirks and walks away.**
**Backstage in the first aid room, Captain Insanity is still being attended to by medical staff. He keeps trying to get up, but paramedics are forcing him down on the table. They're trying to stitch up the huge gash in his head.**
CI: I said let me go.
**Gladiator walks in on the paramedics struggling with Insanity.**
GLADIATOR: What's going on here?
PARAMEDIC: He's suffered some serious head trauma. We're still not done stitching him up.
GLADIATOR: Is he cleared to wrestle?
CI: Yes.
PARAMEDIC: No. He's in rough shape. I wouldn't recommend he walk for extended periods, let alone fight.
CI: I'm going to get Teen Throb and his band of gay dance partners. Forget the stitches.
GLADIATOR: Teen Throb denies having anything to do with your attack.
CI: Yeah right.
GLADIATOR: I'm sorry. I just wouldn't feel right about letting you go out there in this kind of shape. If you die, that would be on my conscience.
CI: Are you serious?
GLADIATOR: No. But the fact that I didn't get the chance to promote it for at least 24 hours beforehand would be on my conscience, and that's more than I'm prepared to live with. I'm afraid you'll have to forfeit. Unless you can find someone else to fill in for you.
**CI flops down on the table looking defeated. Suddenly there's a faint noise in the doorway. The figures of two grown men wearing cow costumes peaks around the corner.**
GOT MILK #1: moo.
GOT MILK #2: Mmmoooooo.
CI: What other choice do I have? Get out there and avenge me.
**Seconds later we are at ringside. Teen Throb's entrance music is playing.**
JOE: I defy anyone to predict how SWA shows are actually going to end. Our much publicized rematch between Captain Insanity and Teen Throb is being scrapped in favor of......
Teen Throb enters the ring accompanied by his band mates, who all suspiciously are wearing matching Watch Out t-shirts. He dances around as the music ends.
The fans cheer as the cow costumed duo of Got Milk trot down the aisle. They wave their arms in the air aggressively and slide under the bottom rope.
The Got Milk duo immediately attack Teen Throb. They tackle him to the ground and lay in furious string of rights and lefts. The other members of Watch Out drag the Got Milk team off of Teen Throb. They back Got Milk into the corners. Got Milk #1 is being chopped in the chest while Got Milk #2 is being kicked in his artificial rubber nipple hanging on the front of his cow costume. Got Milk retaliate by tossing the members of Watch Out over the top rope. They Moo in rage and turn their attention to Teen Throb, who is now cowering on his knees and backing into the corner.
JOE: In a million years I never thought these words would come out of my mouth....... ahem............ The cows have the upper hand on Teen Throb.
Teen Throb backs all the way up to the ropes. Got Milk #1 and #2 stand over him shaking their fists........ inside the costumed hooves. Teen Throb goes for a low blow on Got Milk #1. He grabs the artifical costume nipple and then punches him in the groind. Got Milk #1 goes down. Got Milk #2 tries to kic Teen Throb in the face, but TT grabs his ankle and trips him down. Both members of Got Milk roll around mooing.
SKIPPY: What a main event! This is hilarious!
JOE: Except it wasn't supposed to be hilarious. It was supposed to be the long awaited rematch of Captain Insanity and Teen Throb.
Teen Throb drops a few elbows on the cows. He climbs to the top rope and hits Cow #! with a diving Headbutt. He then climbs to the top rope on the other side of the ring and dives off, hitting Cow #2 with Frog Splash. Teen Throb is now piling one cow on top of the other. He then slides under the bottom rope and folds up a chair. He tosses it into the ring, re-enters the ring, and places the chair on top of the cows. Teen Throb carefully climbs to the top rope and positions himself. He aims for dead center and leaps off, flipping in the air and hitting a double leg drop onto the chair, crushing Got Milk underneath. They let out a loud MOO. Teen Throb performs a quick dance around their bodies and covers them both. The ref counts.
1...
2...
“Down and Out” by Tantric hits the speakers. The fans turn their attention to the entrance way, where Captain Insanity has come running out, staggering all over the place as he's still clearly injured.
JOE: Against doctors orders this main event will go on!
A close up shot of him as he enters the ring shows the stitches only partially sewn on his forehead. He kicks Teen Throb in the gut. Teen Throb doubles over in pain and CI drops a DDT. CI stands up and bounces off the ropes, but has trouble keeping his balance and he stumbles. Teen Throb starts to get up and so does Insanity. CI steadies himself and dives forward with a Clothesline, but due to his physical weakness it has little effect. Teen Throb is rocked, but does not fall. TT picks CI up and Sidewalk Slams him right onto Got Milk's bodies!
SKIPPY: Ohh!!!! Never defy a doctor.
Teen Throb lies CI on top of both members of Got Milk and climbs to the top rope. He thrusts his hips out like a gigolo and leaps off, hitting the Pretty Boy Splash, his modifed version of a 450 Phoenix Splash. CI, Got Milk #1 and Got Milk #2 are all crushed underneath the impact. TT pulls CI off of Got Milk and covers him.
1...
2...
3.
Winner: Teen Throb
JOE: And after Captain Insanity giving it everything he had following that vicious attack earlier today, he still came up shirt against Teen Throb.
SKIPPY: Got Milk came up really short against Teen Throb.
JOE: I can only imagine how angry Insanity is going to be once he recovers. The battle for SWAs Extreme Combat Legend rages on. We're all out of time this week, but before we go, we have a major announcement for next week.
SKIPPY: I will be auctioning off an evening of good times and endless pleasure to the lady who is the highest bidder.
JOE: Not that. We have just received this announcement. Next week, someone, I repeat, someone will receive a guaranteed Title shot against Ian DeTornado at the upcoming Apocalypse Now Pay Per View! No more details, except that someone will earn the chance to face the champ. Be sure to tune in next week to find out who.
Hawthorne vs Gabreal written by Gladiator
Van Der Kamp vs Duke vs Tornado written by Taylor M
Teen Throb vs Captain Insanity written by The Rev
-----------------------------------
PRESENTS
Live from
REGINA, SASKATCHEWAN, CANADA
_________________________
**Captain Insanity is arriving at the arena. He walks through the parking lot looking determined. As he hears a whisper behind him he turns around. Standing behind him are 5 men wearing ski-masks. They would be perfectly disguised and otherwise unrecognizable if it weren't for the fact that all 5 of them were wearing offical Watch Out t-shirts.**
CAPTAIN INSANITY: What the?
GUY THAT SOUNDS LIKE TEEN THROB: Take this!
**The masked man wearing a Watch Out t-shirt who sounds identical to Teen Throb clocks Insanity over the head with a baseball bat. After that the other 4 guys wearing ski-masks and Watch Out t-shirts all join in on the attack. They pound Captain Insanity until he's lying motionless on the pavement with blood streaming out of his head. They all high five each other.**
GUY THAT SOUNDS LIKE TEEN THROB: Score one for me!
**The gang runs off, leaving Insanity unconcious. The sounds of ambulance sirens in the distance echoes.
It now cuts inside the arena, where Joe Aiello and Skippy Mohophosite are at ringside shouting over a deafening crowd in the background.**
JOE: What was that all about?
SKIPPY: Must be the mob again. Insanity has always had problems with them.
JOE: Do the mafia usually run around weaing t-shirts of washed up boy bands?
SKIPPY: I don't know. Does Il Divo count?
JOE: I think Teen Throb and his gang just pulled off the worse disguised sneak attack in history. He was set to do battle with Captain Insanity again tonight. They've been involved in the most heated feud in SWA, and everyone was hoping it would be resolved tonight.
SKIPPY: Well if that was Teen Throb and Watch Out, then I think the feud just got settled.
JOE: We'll see what Captain Insanity has to say about that. We have a lot to get to tonight. New SWA Champ Ian DeTornado will not only have a rematch with Duke Wallace, but also with one of the men he defeated in the Spring Breakdown Championship tournament last month. We're talking about Larsen Van Der Kamp. Van Der Kamp definitely wants a rematch, but tonight the title will NOT be on the line.
SKIPPY: First up is everyone's favorite.
JOE: Of course! “Geriatric” Waylon Hawthorne.
SKIPPY: No. I'm talking about his opponent, The Chosen One Gabreal Martin. What world are you living in?
JOE: Uh....... the world where Gabreal Martin is more hated than an infected growth on Rosie O'Donnell's rectum. This is SWA's off site match of the night. The First ever Seniors Home Brawl. We go live now to the seniors home, where Gabreal Martin and Waylon Hawthorne are ready to square off.
WAYLON HAWTHORNE vs GABREAL MARTIN
Gabreal Martin walks through the stale hallways of the Regina nursing home. A referee is walking a short distance behind. Gabreal is looking for Waylon Hawthorne. He walks up to a door and swings it open. On the otherside there's an elderly man changing his clothes. He is naked from the waist down. Gabreal shields his eyes and shudders. The old man slams the door in Gabreal's face. Hawthorne comes from behind and hits Gabreal over the head with a full bedpan. The liquid contents of the bedpan spill all over Gabreal. Gabreal starts puking.
AIELLO: We're only a few minutes into the show, and I'm already disgusted.
SKIPPY: That's more bodily fluids then I ever wanted to see.
Hawthorne grabs Gabreal by the head and drags him to the recreation area. He grabs Gabreal by the head and smashes it down on the corner of a ping pong table. He smashes Gabreal's head down 5 consecutive times. Gabreal rests his head on the table and Hawthorne grabs a ping pong paddle. He swings the paddle and hits Gabreal over the head with it. Gabreal stumbles backwards. Hawthorne takes off his belt. He swings his belt and whips Gabreal across the back with it. He whips him several times and leaves a welt on Gabreal's back. Hawthorne swings the belt with great force, but Gabreal reaches out and snatches it. Hawthorne hangs on and the two begin a tug of war over the belt. Gabreal tugs it hard and pulls Hawthorne towards him. He hits Hawthorne with a hard Short Arm Clothesline. Hawthorne hits the ground Gabreal picks him up. He takes him by the head and drags him towards the television set. Gabreal smashes Hawthorne's face into the screen of the television and Hawthorne's face smashes straight through the glass screen leaving pieces of glass everywhere.
SKIPPY: Waylon Hawthorne is living the dream. He's gotten his face on the TV, or should I say in the TV.
AIELLO: I'm just wondering who's gonna pay for that broken TV.
SKIPPY: Word is, Rev and Gladiator are taking it out of your salary.
Gabreal picks Hawthorne up. Blood trickles down from Hawthorne's forehead. Gabreal Pulls Hawthorne over to the ping pong table. He lifts Hawthorn up on his shoulders and Drives Hawthorne through the ping pong table with a Death Valley Driver. The ping pong table shatters and Gabreal goes for the cover,
1...
2...
Hawthorne kicks out. Martin tries to picks Hawthorne up , but Hawthorne hits him with a lowblow. Martin stumbles back and bumps into a table with a record player on it. The record needle falls into place. The sounds of Cab Calloway's "Minnie The Moocher starts to play.
"folk's here's the story 'bout Minnie the Moocher
she was a red hot hoochie coocher
she was the roughest, toughest frail
but Minnie had a heart a big as a whale"
As the background singers begin to sing their Hidey-Hi's a large group of senior citizens come into the room and start swing dancing. A very ugly, heavyset old lady grabs Gabreal and starts dancing with him. He tries to struggle out of her grasps, but her arms have swallowed him up. The dancers form a circle around Hawthorne who is dancing the meanest Charleston since Jimmy Stewart danced in It's A Wonderful Life. The heavyset old lady tosses Gabreal towards Hawthorne. Hawthorne catches him in mid air and drops him with a Spinebuster. Hawthorne goes for the cover,
1...
2...
Martins kicks out.
AIELLO: This could quite possibly be the strangest sight I have ever seen on SWA Television, and that's saying something.
SKIPPY: Hey that songs kind of catchy. Sing it with me Joe, 'Hidey-Hi, Hidey-Hi'.
AIELLO: I'd rather put a drillbit through my temple.
The heavyset woman tries to grab Gabreal again, but Gabreal crawls between her legs. He runs over to the record player, picks it up and smashes it on the ground. The song stops, and all the old people hang their heads and pout as they leave the room. Gabreal picks the record off the ground and tosses it as a frisbee. It hits Hawthorne on the forehead. Hawthorne stumbles back. Gabreal charges after him and hits him with a spear. The spear sends both men crashing through a door and into the therapeutic spa room. Gabreal grabs Hawthorne by the head and dunks him head first into the mineral whirlpool. He holds Hawthorne's head under the water. Hawthorne swings his arms around, but after 30 seconds under the water he seems to die out. He picks Hawthorne's head out of the water. Hawthorne looks at Gabreal and spits a mouth full of water into his eyes. Hawthorne grabs Gabreal by the head and flips him into the pool. Hawthorne gets a running start and jumps into the air. He does a cannonball and lands on Gabreal's floating body. Hawthorne holds Gabreal's head under water and punches him hard to the head.
AIELLO: Only in the SWA will you see a match with two competitors fighting in a pool.
SKIPPY: That's not true, I've seen it before. Of course that was two women in bikinis and it was a kiddie pool full of jello, but same idea.
Gabreal fights his way out. He grabs Hawthorne by the head and hits his head down hard on the concrete at the edge of the pool. Gabreal tosses him out of the pool. Gabreal climbs out. He covers Hawthorne,
1...
2...
Hawthorne kicks out. Gabreal picks him up and tosses him through another door. This one is the women's change room. Gabreal walks in and sees three old ladies changing into their swimsuits. He screams and covers his eyes. Hawthorne laughs. He hits Gabreal with a dropkick, and Gabreal hits the ground. Hawthorne picks him up and drags him down the hallway. Hawthorne tosses Gabreal through a door into one of the medical rooms. Hawthorne grabs the difibulator and charges it up. Gabreal rests his head against a medicine cabinet and reaches up. He grabs a bottle of iodine and takes the cap off. Hawthorne drags the difibulator paddles over to Gabreal and leans down with the paddles in hand. Gabreal splashes the iodine in Hawthorne's eyes. Hawthorne screams and grabs is eyes. He rushes over to a sink and begins to flush his eyes out. Gabreal picks up the difibulator paddles. He sneaks up behind Hawthorne and places the paddles on either side of his head. Gabreal zaps Hawthorne. Hawthorne shakes from the shock and drops down on the ground. Gabreal goes for the cover,
1...
2...
Hawthorne kicks out.
AIELLO: I am in awe. Just when I think the SWA can't get any stranger, we are subjected to this match.
SKIPPY: I would comment on this, but I've been to scared to look at the monitor since we saw the women's change room. That has scarred me for life.
Gabreal picks Hawthorne up and sets him up for THE END TIME. Unfortunately, Hawthorne left the water in the sink running and it is over flowing. Martin slips on the water and falls backwards. He drags Hawthorne with him. Both men stumble across the floor. Hawthorne reaches down and grabs the difibulator paddle. Martin stops himself from falling by putting his hand in the sink. Hawthorne sticks the paddle under the water of the over flowing sink and both men get electrocuted. Martin drops to the ground unconcious, and Hawthorne falls on top of him. Both men are unconcious, but Hawthorne has Gabreal covered. The ref gets in position to count,
1...
2...
The door busts open, and the two men in white coats that had been chasing Hawthorne pick Hawthorne up and put handcuffs on him and drag him away. Nurse Cratchett stands next to a male nurse with a striking resemblence to him.
NURSE CRATCHETT: Thanks for the help cousin. Good to know I've got friend's in Regina.
REGINA NURSE: Glad to help. Put a good word in for me in Moose Jaw. They have a superior benefits package.
The men in white coats drag away the unconcious Hawthorne, and Gabreal Martin lies unconcious on the ground. The referee shrugs his shoulders and walks away.
WINNER:
?? JOE: That was beyond weird.
SKIPPY: Good to see Martin pick up a win.
JOE: He didn't pick up a win. Neither did Hawthorne. I'm not entirely sure what did happen?
SKIPPY: What happened is Hawthorne is back in custody wher ehe belongs.
JOE: He's a frail old man who deserves some freedom. One day he will have it.
SKIPPY: And one day Gabreal Martin will have the SWA Championship. I guarantee that.
JOE: We'll see.
____________________________
(We open up backstage where we see Michael Saint walking down the halls when he is approached by Larsen Van Der Kamp.)
Larsen: Just the man that I wanted to see.
Michael Saint: Larsen for what do I owe this welcome conversation?
Larsen: I am sure that you know how I feel about The Sedition and in paticular one Gabreal Martin.
Michael Saint: Yes I do and I share most of those feelings with you.
Larsen: I know you have power here Mr. Saint. You have the power to make matches.
Michael Saint: Quite so what are you getting at?
Larsen: I want a match next week and not just any match. I want Gabreal Martin last week.
Michael Saint: Really why is that?
Larsen: We all saw what happened at Spring Breakdown. The Sedition fought to screw me over royally that night and make him a star at my expense. I want my revenge on him.
Michael Saint: You know what Larsen I think I can do that for you. I think next week we need to see Gabreal Martin vs Larsen Van Der Kamp.
(Gabreal Martin walks in fresh off his match with Waylon Hawthorne.)
Michael Saint: We were just talking about you. That was fast. How did you get here so quick?
Gabreal: Nursing home was just around the corner. What do you want Saint?
Michael Saint: I want what he wants and he wants a match with you next week.
Gabreal: I do not think so. I mean I can beat him easy I do not need to prove that. Your request is declined.
Michael Saint: Oh how you wish you had a say in this Gabreal. I regret to inform you that you don't and you will be having this match next week.
Gabreal: You can't do that to me. Do you have any idea who I am?
Larsen: The man that is going to get an ass kicking from me next week.
Gabreal: I will not stand for this and neither will anyone else in The Sedition. You have not heard the last of this subject tonight Saint.
(Gabe storms off.)
____________________________
{{-A radio dial. Broadcast being found. Dusty Springfields' "Son Of A Preacher Man" plays.-}}[/i]
[]Our scene fades from black, two large headlights blind us for only a moment and then into view comes a 1937 Jaguar SS100. It's boat-like chassis with exposed engine is bonded by a dark maroon and a black trim. Rumbling down an unknown road, a man with short-wavy dirty blonde hair and a cigarette hanging from his lip represent the driver of the classic motor vehicle. He has one hand on the wheel, another hanging right over the side door with nothing but a cool breeze in the air. He takes a few pulls with his free hand and the smoke dances into the night sky, his right eye brighter and whiter than the other, not even a full moon could make it shine as it did and there is no moon to speak of.[]
{{-"Bein' good isn't always easy; No matter how hard I try; When he started sweet-talkin' to me; He'd come and tell me everythings alright; He'd kiss and tell me everything is alright; Can I get away tonight?"
Slight break in signal. He bangs on the dashboard with a quick pound.
"The only one who could ever reach me; Was the son of a preacher man"-}}
[]As our man with no name drives down this desolate highway, his mind wanders. It goes through flashbacks of his past, both glorious and treacherous. He thinks of his advancements and achievements but also the agony of defeat. He thinks about the contract he signed days prior. Bringing him back into the battle field in a land of misfits. He knew what this new deal on life entails. Sedition Wrestling Alliance. What's there? Who's there? If he knew all of that, it'd be too easy. What he does know is this time he's becoming more universal. No longer regulated just from the states, but around the globe. The Damned Crew will watch, confident of that. Nobody will ever step foward, he knows that all too well. Life has to keep moving though and inside an arena, confined in what is known as the squarded-circle to some, the boxed-stage showcases how resiliant one man can be.
The exit comes into view. Throwing on his blinker he rides off the freeway and into a city. The sign reads "Welcome To Regina". He follows the GPS but misses a few turns due to it's delay. He's become accustomed to it and learned to live with the fact that technology really plays discrepencies in people's lives. A sports complex comes into view, he continues on the road leading there.
______________________
JOE: Somebody's coming.
SKIPPY: Who?
JOE: I don't know. He doesn't look familiar to me. But one thing's for sure.
SKIPPY: He drives a better car than you?
JOE: Okay two things are sure. He drives a better car than me, and he looks like he means business.
__________________________
**Gabreal Martin throws open the office door of the SWA Owners and General Managers, The Rev and Gladiator. He paces back and forth**
REV: Yes?
GABREAL: I came here to have you solve my problem.
REV: What problem is that?
GABREAL: Larsen Van Der Kamp.
GLADIATOR: RighT! Good old Larkin.
GABREAL: It's Larsen. Saint says I'm booked against him next week
GLADIATOR: Done deal. It'll make a spectacular main event. Can't wait to see you guys go at it again. What a show that will be.
GABREAL: No! I want you to find a way to cancel the match.
REV: Cancel it? Why?
GABREAL: Because I'm above him. Because I have nothing to prove against him. Because I don't like the look of his face. Take your pick. Just get me out of it.
**Rev and Gladiator give each other a nod.**
REV: We'll work it out. Now go take a shower. You still smell like old people.[/color]
_________________________
JOE: What a whiny, no good......
SKIPPY: Next SWA Champion!
JOE: Not exactly how I was going to finish my sentence.
SKIPPY: Next SWA Champion.
JOE: While Gabreal is weaselling his way out of a match with Van Der Kamp next week, the current SWA Champion will prove yet again he's more of a man than The Chosen One by not only facing Van Der Kamp, but also Duke Wallace at the same time. It's a Non-Title match, but a win over the champ here could mean big things.
IAN DETORNADO vs VAN DER KAMP vs DUKE WALLACE
The three men stare across the ring at one another. Wallace nods to De Tornado, who nods in return. Suddenly, surprising everyone, VDK throws himself across the ring for a diving double clothesline. He knocks both men off their feet and bounces back up to his. He turns first to De Tornado and drags him to his feet, whipping him to the ropes, and then sidewalk slamming him on the return.
VDK turns his attention to Wallace. He lifts Wallace up and goes to suplex him, but Wallace blocks. Wallace throws a couple of jabs to the face of VDK. Wallace winds back and throws a punch that staggers VDK. Wallace flips up and grabs VDK in a standing hurricanrana. He goes for the pin.
…1.. .
De Tornado breaks the count.
VDK slowly gets back to his feet as Wallace and De Tornado square off. He takes a breather from his initial onslaught. De Tornado kicks, catching Wallace in the midsection. Wallace bends over, and De Tornado takes him down with a DDT. De Tornado bounces back to his feet, but comes up quick with a shove that knocks De Tornado off balance. De Tornado starts to recover, but Wallace ducks and dives at De Tornado, hitting a hard spear to the gut. He goes for the pin.
1…
2…
VDK from the top with a frog splash to break the count.
Wallace is first to his feet, but VDK quickly takes him back down with a low blow. De Tornado grabs VDK by the head and lifts him to his feet. De Tornado nails an uppercut, sending VDK stumbling backwards. VDK backpedals, and De Tornado starts laying in chops to the chest. De Tornado shoves against the ropes and goes to whip him to the other side, but VDK reverses. De Tornado hits the rope and bounces back into a tilt a whirl slam from VDK. VDK goes for the cover.
..1
….2
… De Tornado is able to get a shoulder up.
De Tornado and VDK are both back up now, battling it out. VDK whips De Tornado toward Wallace. De Tornado avoids the collision and leaps onto the turnbuckle. De Tornado hits a spinning kick and VDK goes sprawling as De Tornado lands. He is about to follow up, but Wallace stops him with a full nelson slam out of nowhere. VDK swings at Wallace, who manages to dodge the punch and take him down with a quick armbar submission.
VDK yells in pain and frustration, squinting his eyes against the pain in his arm and shoulder. He looks like he’s ready to tap, but De Tornado grabs Wallace. Wallace releases the hold as De Tornado stops him a few times before nailing a short arm suplex. De Tornado quickly turns to VDKs and puts him in a hammerlock. He uses the force of the hold to put VDK at his mercy, and drags him up to his feet. VDK is struggling against the pain, but still standing. De Tornado cranks the arm around another time, and VDK cries out against the pressure on his joints. De Tornado lifts up the arm, about to jerk it back down, when VDK suddenly drops to his knees.De Tornado is about to crank the arm some more, but VDK plants a foot. The crowd begins stomping and cheering.
The crowd gets louder and louder as VDK pushes off and get back to his feet. De Tornado looks surprised, but goes to crank the arm anyway. Just as he is about to duck under, VDK does a front flip, landing on his feet and straitening his arm out. He grabs De Tornado with his pained arm, and nails a short arm clothesline. The crowd explodes. VDK catches a breath after knocking De Tornado down, but isn’t long for it as De Tornado gets back up. De Tornado runs at VDK, just as Wallace regains his composure and makes a run from the other side.
VDK steps back at the last second and De Tornado and Wallace crash into each other. VDK surveys the damage before climbing the turnbuckle. He leaps from the top rope and hits his finisher, The Memory Remains on a prone Wallace. VDK gives De Tornado a few stomps before covering Wallance.
…1
….2
….3
Winner: Larsen Van Der Kamp
JOE: What an upset! Van Der Kamp has just defeated the SWA Champion!
SKIPPY: Big deal. Gabreal Martin could have done it blind folded.
JOE: It was a non title match, but that puts Tornado and Van Der Kamp at one win a piece against each other. Maybe that will be enough to earn Van Der Kamp a rematch for the belt this time.
____________________________
Circling the stadium, the back lot reaches way into the back. A gate fences off the parking lot and a security booth sits right outside of it. The SS100 pulls up and the security guard looks up from his newspaper wide-eyed.[]
Security Guard: Nice car mate. How can I help you?
(Presenting paperwork)Man With No Name: Here to make an impression.
(Taking the papers, flipping through the pages)Security Guard: I'm sorry?
Man With No Name: You see, once you let me through those doors, there won't be any turning back. Nobody is safe.
Security Guard: Uhh..sir?...I, I can't let you on the premises with those words.
Man With No Name: Only joking partna. I'm one of the new grapplers in SWA, that's why I presented those documents. I'm simply here for the show.
(Unsure eye contact, re-reading papers)Security Guard: All of you boys are a sure riot! I can never tell how you mean what you say considering you guys are always talking some trash back and fourth. How do you get along when not on camera?
Man With No Name: Were here for all the same reason..uhm?...What's your name?
Security Officer: My name is David.
Man With No Name: David, the whole of us know what were here for. The some of us are here to entertain. The lot of us are here because it's a damn good lively hood. And the dozen of us travel to find the answers that can't be found elsewhere. Then.. then there's those few.
David the Security Guard: And what about those few?
Man With No Name: You better get three coffins ready.
[]The Man With No Name smiles as David hands back the sheets. He opens the gate and waves this man in, waving his hand up as the Jaguar SS100 finds itself inside the mouth of the garage.
He pulls up the roof on the car and locks it up. Walking to the back entrance, he shuffles through his jacket to pull out an ID card. Another security guard at the door gives it a once over and let's him into the building. The brown duster coat blows out just a bit, the door closes and now this Man With No Name blends right into the sea of busy people. Don't blink..or you might just miss him.
_____________________
**The Rev is walking backstage looking for someone. The man in the brown coat passes by him. Rev gives him a suspicious glance. The man with no name smiles and keeps walking. Rev slowly heads back down the corridor. He runs in to Michael Saint.**
REV: Did you hire that guy?
SAINT: What guy?
REV: That one that just passed me.
SAINT: I didn't see anyone. And I haven't hired anyone new.
REV: Hmm.......... Anyway......... straight to the point. You booked Gabreal Martin in a match next week against Larsen Van Der Kamp.
SAINT: Don't even try it. My contract gives me booking power, including over Gabreal.
REV: No more games. This is legit. Unfortunately there's been a slight oversight. It seems next Saturday is the day Gabreal is scheduled to appear on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. He won't be available for that match. Shame too. He was ever so excited about facing Van Der Kamp again.
SAINT: Strange. The Tonight Show dooesn't air on Saturday.
REV: Yeah.......... about that.......... they've decided to............. pretape the interview. Trying to work around Gabreal's hectic schedule. He's a hot commodity these days.
**Saint lets out a sigh of defeat.**
SAINT: Don't think I'm going to let up like that. Gabreal can't come up with excuses every week. One of these days he'll have nothing left to hide behind. Then Van Der Kamp will get his match.
**Rev smirks and walks away.**
_______________________________
**Backstage in the first aid room, Captain Insanity is still being attended to by medical staff. He keeps trying to get up, but paramedics are forcing him down on the table. They're trying to stitch up the huge gash in his head.**
CI: I said let me go.
**Gladiator walks in on the paramedics struggling with Insanity.**
GLADIATOR: What's going on here?
PARAMEDIC: He's suffered some serious head trauma. We're still not done stitching him up.
GLADIATOR: Is he cleared to wrestle?
CI: Yes.
PARAMEDIC: No. He's in rough shape. I wouldn't recommend he walk for extended periods, let alone fight.
CI: I'm going to get Teen Throb and his band of gay dance partners. Forget the stitches.
GLADIATOR: Teen Throb denies having anything to do with your attack.
CI: Yeah right.
GLADIATOR: I'm sorry. I just wouldn't feel right about letting you go out there in this kind of shape. If you die, that would be on my conscience.
CI: Are you serious?
GLADIATOR: No. But the fact that I didn't get the chance to promote it for at least 24 hours beforehand would be on my conscience, and that's more than I'm prepared to live with. I'm afraid you'll have to forfeit. Unless you can find someone else to fill in for you.
**CI flops down on the table looking defeated. Suddenly there's a faint noise in the doorway. The figures of two grown men wearing cow costumes peaks around the corner.**
GOT MILK #1: moo.
GOT MILK #2: Mmmoooooo.
CI: What other choice do I have? Get out there and avenge me.
**Seconds later we are at ringside. Teen Throb's entrance music is playing.**
JOE: I defy anyone to predict how SWA shows are actually going to end. Our much publicized rematch between Captain Insanity and Teen Throb is being scrapped in favor of......
TEEN THROB vs GOT MILK
Teen Throb enters the ring accompanied by his band mates, who all suspiciously are wearing matching Watch Out t-shirts. He dances around as the music ends.
The fans cheer as the cow costumed duo of Got Milk trot down the aisle. They wave their arms in the air aggressively and slide under the bottom rope.
The Got Milk duo immediately attack Teen Throb. They tackle him to the ground and lay in furious string of rights and lefts. The other members of Watch Out drag the Got Milk team off of Teen Throb. They back Got Milk into the corners. Got Milk #1 is being chopped in the chest while Got Milk #2 is being kicked in his artificial rubber nipple hanging on the front of his cow costume. Got Milk retaliate by tossing the members of Watch Out over the top rope. They Moo in rage and turn their attention to Teen Throb, who is now cowering on his knees and backing into the corner.
JOE: In a million years I never thought these words would come out of my mouth....... ahem............ The cows have the upper hand on Teen Throb.
Teen Throb backs all the way up to the ropes. Got Milk #1 and #2 stand over him shaking their fists........ inside the costumed hooves. Teen Throb goes for a low blow on Got Milk #1. He grabs the artifical costume nipple and then punches him in the groind. Got Milk #1 goes down. Got Milk #2 tries to kic Teen Throb in the face, but TT grabs his ankle and trips him down. Both members of Got Milk roll around mooing.
SKIPPY: What a main event! This is hilarious!
JOE: Except it wasn't supposed to be hilarious. It was supposed to be the long awaited rematch of Captain Insanity and Teen Throb.
Teen Throb drops a few elbows on the cows. He climbs to the top rope and hits Cow #! with a diving Headbutt. He then climbs to the top rope on the other side of the ring and dives off, hitting Cow #2 with Frog Splash. Teen Throb is now piling one cow on top of the other. He then slides under the bottom rope and folds up a chair. He tosses it into the ring, re-enters the ring, and places the chair on top of the cows. Teen Throb carefully climbs to the top rope and positions himself. He aims for dead center and leaps off, flipping in the air and hitting a double leg drop onto the chair, crushing Got Milk underneath. They let out a loud MOO. Teen Throb performs a quick dance around their bodies and covers them both. The ref counts.
1...
2...
“Down and Out” by Tantric hits the speakers. The fans turn their attention to the entrance way, where Captain Insanity has come running out, staggering all over the place as he's still clearly injured.
JOE: Against doctors orders this main event will go on!
A close up shot of him as he enters the ring shows the stitches only partially sewn on his forehead. He kicks Teen Throb in the gut. Teen Throb doubles over in pain and CI drops a DDT. CI stands up and bounces off the ropes, but has trouble keeping his balance and he stumbles. Teen Throb starts to get up and so does Insanity. CI steadies himself and dives forward with a Clothesline, but due to his physical weakness it has little effect. Teen Throb is rocked, but does not fall. TT picks CI up and Sidewalk Slams him right onto Got Milk's bodies!
SKIPPY: Ohh!!!! Never defy a doctor.
Teen Throb lies CI on top of both members of Got Milk and climbs to the top rope. He thrusts his hips out like a gigolo and leaps off, hitting the Pretty Boy Splash, his modifed version of a 450 Phoenix Splash. CI, Got Milk #1 and Got Milk #2 are all crushed underneath the impact. TT pulls CI off of Got Milk and covers him.
1...
2...
3.
Winner: Teen Throb
JOE: And after Captain Insanity giving it everything he had following that vicious attack earlier today, he still came up shirt against Teen Throb.
SKIPPY: Got Milk came up really short against Teen Throb.
JOE: I can only imagine how angry Insanity is going to be once he recovers. The battle for SWAs Extreme Combat Legend rages on. We're all out of time this week, but before we go, we have a major announcement for next week.
SKIPPY: I will be auctioning off an evening of good times and endless pleasure to the lady who is the highest bidder.
JOE: Not that. We have just received this announcement. Next week, someone, I repeat, someone will receive a guaranteed Title shot against Ian DeTornado at the upcoming Apocalypse Now Pay Per View! No more details, except that someone will earn the chance to face the champ. Be sure to tune in next week to find out who.
Hawthorne vs Gabreal written by Gladiator
Van Der Kamp vs Duke vs Tornado written by Taylor M
Teen Throb vs Captain Insanity written by The Rev
