Saturday Night Fever (5/29)

[Taylor M]

Toronto Ontario
Friday 05/28/2010

- Captain Insanity and Got Milk? are sitting in Captain Insanity’s apartment. All three men are crowded on the couch, Insanity unhappily stuck in the middle. One of the members Got Milk picks up the tv remote and turns up the volume as the series finale of Lost starts. Insanity grabs the remote and turns down the volume. Both men protest loudly. Insanity hits one of them over the head and they quiet down. After a while of watching the show in silence a commercial comes on and Got Milk starts to moo loudly in discussion of the show. Insanity sighs and gets up.-

CI: I don’t understand you two idiots. You’ve literally watched the finale three dozen times already. Give it a rest, you know what’s going to happen.

- The two men in cow costumes turn and ‘shhh’ Insanity as the commercial ends and the show resumes. Captain Insanity tosses his hands up in the air. –

CI: I can’t put up with you two anymore.

- Insanity walks out of the apartment. Got Milk shrug to each other and turn back to the tv, fully engrossed in the show.-

Hours Later

- Captain Insanity walks through a busy park, a half empty six pack of beer in his hand. He pulls a can from the plastic ring and cracks it open. A mother pushing her son on a swing yells at him for drinking in the park, Insanity ignores her and keeps walking. –


CI: I don’t know what to do with those two idiots. They’re getting more annoying than Teen Throb and his boy band posse.

-Insanity reaches the end of the park and looks around the area. He catches a sign for a pet store and heads in its direction. Insanity finishes his beer and tosses his empty can near a trash can before pushing open the store door.-

Staff: Sir, you can’t be drinking in here.

CI: I need one of those invisible fences for dogs and I need it to be the most powerful one you’ve got.

Staff: Ummm… just one second.

-The store worker heads to the stock room and returns later with a large box. He rings it up and Insanity pays him. –

Staff: So, what kind of dog do you have?

CI: Uh…. Two…. Big ones.

- Insanity grabs the box and heads out of the store-

Toronto Ontario
Saturday 05/29/2010

- Insanity is seen standing out front of his apartment building, shovel in hand; he’s busy digging up the small grass area near the lobby entrance. Once the digging is complete he opens the invisible dog fencing and lays it in the ground. Insanity takes the wire and strings it around the perimeter and starts to cover it up with dirt. He stops half way through and pops open can of beer stashed in the shade. Insanity downs the beer and returns to working. He finishes up the ground work and turns his attention to the two collars in the box. –

CI: Hmmm, seems simple enough. I just put this battery in and put the collar on the idiots and they’ll be stuck in this lawn. I love it.

-Got Milk make their way out of the building. Insanity calls them over. After a bit of struggling he manages to get both collars around the men’s necks. Got Milk moos loudly and struggles to get them off but can’t.-

CI: I’ve found a solution to the problem that is you. If you try to leave the yard here, you’ll get electrocuted.

-Got Milk looks back and forth from each other to Insanity and the edge of the grass. Insanity chuckles to himself as he walks away.-

CI: Now that they are taken care of I can get myself to Regina and deal with that troublesome Teen Throb. Well he’s not really troublesome, more like annoying and slightly diluted. He’s just as old and washed up as the rest of his band members and their fans. Sure I’m pushing 30, sure I’ve been off my game as of late but who doesn’t have a couple of off days at work, for months on ends. I don’t really understand where this idea of me being an angry drunk is coming from. I mean who doesn’t enjoy a cold beer once in a while.

The point I’m trying to make is that Teen Throb needs to stop and think for a moment or two about how things really are. He’s not the boy band icon he once was, nor is he an extreme icon like I am. I might not be Extreme Combat champion yet, but I will be some day. Teen Throb can either save himself some trouble and step out of the way or keep being a thorn in my side.

-Insanity waves down a cab and climbs in the back seat. –

CI: To the liquor store then the airport my good man.