Post by Teen Throb on May 29, 2010 9:09:28 GMT -6
{-- Watch Out band mates JJ, Jerry, Jack and Jaswinder are all banging on Teen Throb's hotel room door. So far there's been no answer. --}
JJ- Open the door. You're going to make us all late.
Jaswinder- This is just like him.
Jack- If we don't get downstairs quick we'll miss the waffle buffet.
Jerry- Forget that. If we don't leave on time we'll miss our first televised performance since the groups reunion.
{-- They all go back to banging on the door. Teen Throb's fatter than Jabba the Hut cousin Fletch Baxter comes out of his room across the hall. --}
Fletch- What's with all the racket.
Jaswinder- Your cousin is sleeping still. As always his selfishness is going to make us miss a very important performance.
Jack- Not to mention the waffle buffet.
Jerry- Forget about the waffle buffet. We didn't reunite as a band so he could ruin all our careers again with this spolied primadonna act. I'm not ready to go back to 7-11 night shift. Our careers are at stake if we can't get Teen Throb up.
Fletch- This is serious.
Jerry- Thank you.
Fletch- Nobody told me about a waffle buffet. If we get him up now, will we still make it there in time?
Jack- Just barely.
{-- As fast as The Flash being viewed in fast forward Fletch runs into the door and breaks it down. They all look into the hotel room and find Teen Throb lying in bed surrounding by used kleenex. He's sniffling and wiping his runny nose. His eyes are blood shot read and droopy. --}
TT- Guys I'm not feeling so good. I better skip work today.
{-- All the boys unanimosly scream NOOOOOOOO --}
Jerry- If I have to drag you down to the TV studio myself I'll do it.
TT- I'm sorry that I let you down old friend. I never meant for it to end this way. I'm afraid I've reache dthe end. Death is upon me. Goodbye JJ.
Jerry- I'm not JJ. I'm Jerry.
TT- So long dear JJ.
{-- Fletch is looking like he's getting tired of this. He smacks all the kleenex off the bed and grabs Teen Throb by the neck. --}
Fletch- Listen up. None of us want to hear you crying about a stuffed nose and a soar throat. Take a few chewable vitamins, drink a jug of Sunny D and act like a man for a chance. At least try to act like a responsible preteen. You're going to go to the TV studio with the boys and sing your hearts out, the off to Regina for a rematch with Captain Insanity?
{-- Teen Throb perks up out of bed. --}
TT- Did you say rematch with Captain Insanity? As in the same Captain Insanity who lost to me a few months ago? As in the same Captain Insanity that has lost to me every time we've faced? The one and only but still qualifies as every time we faced? That Captain Insanity? The over the hill poser who likes to consider himself a hardcore legend even though he's like 30 something and on the verge of sharing war stories with Geriatric Hawthorne? The same Captain Insanity who cost me my shot at a title in KCW before the merge? The same Captain Insanity who's been ducking my challenges and hiding behind tag team partners and a never ending bottle of vodka since the SWA return? Over the hill, past his prime, best days behind him Captain Insanity you're talking about?
Fletch- Yes.
TT- I hate that guy!
Fletch- I know!
TT- Lets go get him!
Fletch- You got it! But first we need to go to the TV studio for your performance.
Jerry- Yay!
Fletch- And before that a waffle buffet.
Jack- Yay!
{--Hours later Jack and Fletch are stuffed to the gills with waffles, and the successful televised reunion of the reunited boy band of Watch Out has come to an end. The boys performed their old hit song "Babe You Know You Want Me" in front of an audience full of screaming young girls. They did a short little interview with some loser of a daytime talk show host. Now their about to leave the studio and head off to Regina for Saturday Night Fever. --}
TT- Wow. Talk about an invigorating experience. I forgot how great it was to sing in front of an audience again. Too bad the lights in the studio were so bright. I couldn't see any of the sexy girls dancing away to our sweet tunes. Good thing the lights were bright enough that all the girls could see my sexy self dancing away. The crotch thrusts, girating, hip swivels. Must've been quite the sight. Am I hot stuff or what.
JJ- Whatever. I hear some screaming on the other side of this door. Sounds like our adoring young female fans are ready to tear us apart. Make a quick run to the limo boys. Here we go.
{-- Watch Out rush out the door. They do indeed finds dozens of horny girls mobbing them on their way out. What their surprised at is who the fans are. They aren't teens or young women at all. Most are close to if not over 30. --}
TT- What?
{-- The boys from Watch Out are lead to the limo by the monstrous Fletch Baxter. Fletch pushes back many women, most of which are almost as heavy as he is. Fletch is finally able to get the boys into the limo. He slams the door and locks them in. The horny women climb all over the car as they pull out of the parking lot. --}
TT- Where are all the young good looking girls?
Jaswinder- Yeah that one looks like she's over 30!
TT- That one looks like she's over 300 pounds! These aren't the fans we remember.
Fletch- How superfiscial can you get? I'm over 30. I'm over 300 pounds. You aren't discriminating against me.
TT- Yeah but you were never young and sexy. Our fans used to be. I can't believe this could happen.
Fletch- You guys first broke on to the music scene 10 years ago. You've been out of the public eye for over 5 years. What did you expect was going to happen?
TT- I feel so... old suddenly. Here I've been mocking Captain Insanity fior weeks calling him over the hill and past his prime. Seeing how old crusty and flabby these almost 30 and over 30 girls are I now realize I'm in the same boat as Captain Insanity. Are my best days behind me too? Captain Insanity and I are the senior most veterans in SWA. Both of us have been there since almost the beginning. The only other guy whose been around as long as us is... eww... Geriatric Hawthorne! I don't know what I was thinking. Fans grow up. Opponents grow up. Teen Throb grows old.
{-- There's a solemn silence in the limo as the final horny women is thrown from the bumper as they turn onto the highway. Everyone except for Fletch have their heads down and frowns on their faces. --}
Jack- Does that mean I'm getting old too?
TT- Yes.
Jerry- Me too?
TT- Yes.
Jack- And me?
TT- You're old too... and starting to get fat as well.
JJ- Not me though right?
TT- You too buddy.
{-- All the Watch Out boys are choking back tears. --}
TT- You know what? Who cares. I may be getting older, but I still got the rock solid abs, flawless complexion and oh so studly dance moves. I'm just as hot today as I was 10 years ago. Forget those old grannies back there! Just because they let themselves go doesn't mean I have. I still have one thing over Captain Insanity. I never let myself fall into a drunken stupor. My life is just as healthy and youthful as it was 10 years ago. Insanity is old drunk and angry. That's why he hates me so much. I'm young sober and too hot to handle without a safely padded oven mit. That's the reason why I've beaten Insanity every single time I've faced him.
Fletch- You only fought him once.
TT- And I beat him. That's 100% success ratio. And I'll beat him again. I'll increase that number to 101%! Age is nothing but a number. Greatness like Teen Throb lives forever baby.
JJ- Open the door. You're going to make us all late.
Jaswinder- This is just like him.
Jack- If we don't get downstairs quick we'll miss the waffle buffet.
Jerry- Forget that. If we don't leave on time we'll miss our first televised performance since the groups reunion.
{-- They all go back to banging on the door. Teen Throb's fatter than Jabba the Hut cousin Fletch Baxter comes out of his room across the hall. --}
Fletch- What's with all the racket.
Jaswinder- Your cousin is sleeping still. As always his selfishness is going to make us miss a very important performance.
Jack- Not to mention the waffle buffet.
Jerry- Forget about the waffle buffet. We didn't reunite as a band so he could ruin all our careers again with this spolied primadonna act. I'm not ready to go back to 7-11 night shift. Our careers are at stake if we can't get Teen Throb up.
Fletch- This is serious.
Jerry- Thank you.
Fletch- Nobody told me about a waffle buffet. If we get him up now, will we still make it there in time?
Jack- Just barely.
{-- As fast as The Flash being viewed in fast forward Fletch runs into the door and breaks it down. They all look into the hotel room and find Teen Throb lying in bed surrounding by used kleenex. He's sniffling and wiping his runny nose. His eyes are blood shot read and droopy. --}
TT- Guys I'm not feeling so good. I better skip work today.
{-- All the boys unanimosly scream NOOOOOOOO --}
Jerry- If I have to drag you down to the TV studio myself I'll do it.
TT- I'm sorry that I let you down old friend. I never meant for it to end this way. I'm afraid I've reache dthe end. Death is upon me. Goodbye JJ.
Jerry- I'm not JJ. I'm Jerry.
TT- So long dear JJ.
{-- Fletch is looking like he's getting tired of this. He smacks all the kleenex off the bed and grabs Teen Throb by the neck. --}
Fletch- Listen up. None of us want to hear you crying about a stuffed nose and a soar throat. Take a few chewable vitamins, drink a jug of Sunny D and act like a man for a chance. At least try to act like a responsible preteen. You're going to go to the TV studio with the boys and sing your hearts out, the off to Regina for a rematch with Captain Insanity?
{-- Teen Throb perks up out of bed. --}
TT- Did you say rematch with Captain Insanity? As in the same Captain Insanity who lost to me a few months ago? As in the same Captain Insanity that has lost to me every time we've faced? The one and only but still qualifies as every time we faced? That Captain Insanity? The over the hill poser who likes to consider himself a hardcore legend even though he's like 30 something and on the verge of sharing war stories with Geriatric Hawthorne? The same Captain Insanity who cost me my shot at a title in KCW before the merge? The same Captain Insanity who's been ducking my challenges and hiding behind tag team partners and a never ending bottle of vodka since the SWA return? Over the hill, past his prime, best days behind him Captain Insanity you're talking about?
Fletch- Yes.
TT- I hate that guy!
Fletch- I know!
TT- Lets go get him!
Fletch- You got it! But first we need to go to the TV studio for your performance.
Jerry- Yay!
Fletch- And before that a waffle buffet.
Jack- Yay!
{--Hours later Jack and Fletch are stuffed to the gills with waffles, and the successful televised reunion of the reunited boy band of Watch Out has come to an end. The boys performed their old hit song "Babe You Know You Want Me" in front of an audience full of screaming young girls. They did a short little interview with some loser of a daytime talk show host. Now their about to leave the studio and head off to Regina for Saturday Night Fever. --}
TT- Wow. Talk about an invigorating experience. I forgot how great it was to sing in front of an audience again. Too bad the lights in the studio were so bright. I couldn't see any of the sexy girls dancing away to our sweet tunes. Good thing the lights were bright enough that all the girls could see my sexy self dancing away. The crotch thrusts, girating, hip swivels. Must've been quite the sight. Am I hot stuff or what.
JJ- Whatever. I hear some screaming on the other side of this door. Sounds like our adoring young female fans are ready to tear us apart. Make a quick run to the limo boys. Here we go.
{-- Watch Out rush out the door. They do indeed finds dozens of horny girls mobbing them on their way out. What their surprised at is who the fans are. They aren't teens or young women at all. Most are close to if not over 30. --}
TT- What?
{-- The boys from Watch Out are lead to the limo by the monstrous Fletch Baxter. Fletch pushes back many women, most of which are almost as heavy as he is. Fletch is finally able to get the boys into the limo. He slams the door and locks them in. The horny women climb all over the car as they pull out of the parking lot. --}
TT- Where are all the young good looking girls?
Jaswinder- Yeah that one looks like she's over 30!
TT- That one looks like she's over 300 pounds! These aren't the fans we remember.
Fletch- How superfiscial can you get? I'm over 30. I'm over 300 pounds. You aren't discriminating against me.
TT- Yeah but you were never young and sexy. Our fans used to be. I can't believe this could happen.
Fletch- You guys first broke on to the music scene 10 years ago. You've been out of the public eye for over 5 years. What did you expect was going to happen?
TT- I feel so... old suddenly. Here I've been mocking Captain Insanity fior weeks calling him over the hill and past his prime. Seeing how old crusty and flabby these almost 30 and over 30 girls are I now realize I'm in the same boat as Captain Insanity. Are my best days behind me too? Captain Insanity and I are the senior most veterans in SWA. Both of us have been there since almost the beginning. The only other guy whose been around as long as us is... eww... Geriatric Hawthorne! I don't know what I was thinking. Fans grow up. Opponents grow up. Teen Throb grows old.
{-- There's a solemn silence in the limo as the final horny women is thrown from the bumper as they turn onto the highway. Everyone except for Fletch have their heads down and frowns on their faces. --}
Jack- Does that mean I'm getting old too?
TT- Yes.
Jerry- Me too?
TT- Yes.
Jack- And me?
TT- You're old too... and starting to get fat as well.
JJ- Not me though right?
TT- You too buddy.
{-- All the Watch Out boys are choking back tears. --}
TT- You know what? Who cares. I may be getting older, but I still got the rock solid abs, flawless complexion and oh so studly dance moves. I'm just as hot today as I was 10 years ago. Forget those old grannies back there! Just because they let themselves go doesn't mean I have. I still have one thing over Captain Insanity. I never let myself fall into a drunken stupor. My life is just as healthy and youthful as it was 10 years ago. Insanity is old drunk and angry. That's why he hates me so much. I'm young sober and too hot to handle without a safely padded oven mit. That's the reason why I've beaten Insanity every single time I've faced him.
Fletch- You only fought him once.
TT- And I beat him. That's 100% success ratio. And I'll beat him again. I'll increase that number to 101%! Age is nothing but a number. Greatness like Teen Throb lives forever baby.