Post by Duke Wallace on May 3, 2010 21:41:09 GMT -6
EXAMINER: I'm going to ask you several basic questions. Answer each with a clear yes or no answer. Do not make any sudden movements. Are you ready?
DUKE: Yes.
**"The Supremacist" Duke Wallace is strapped into a polygrapjh machine. Beads of sweat roll down his head. The examiner studies the machine and has a pen standing by to track the results. SWA resident interviewer Travis Malloy stands on the far side of the room. He turns to the camera and whispers.**
TRAVIS: I am here today with "The Supremacist" Duke Wallace, who has agreed to take a lie detector test, also known as a polygraph, to satisfy some of his harshest critics who say Wallace is full of it. Now it's finally time to find out if Duke Wallace is the real deal, or the pathological liar many believe him to be. The test is about to begin.
**The examiner starts the machine.**
EXAMINER: Is your name Duke Wallace?
DUKE: Yes.
**No movement on the needle.**
EXAMINER: Are you 29 years old.
DUKE: Yes.
**Still no movement.**
EXAMINER: Are you currently employed by the Sedition Wrestling Allliance?
DUKE: Yes.
EXAMINER: Did you suffer a serious car accident in your youth?
DUKE: Yes.
**No movement on the needle. Travis Malloy looks a little surprised by this.**
TRAVIS: So now we know Duke wasn't lying about that.
EXAMINER: Did you break every bone in your body during that accident.
DUKE: Yes.
**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**
DUKE: What's that noise? What's going on?
EXAMINER: The machine is indicating a lie.
DUKE: Your machine's the liar, not me. It's faulty equipment.
EXAMINER: I'm not accusing you of anything, just reading the results. If you're not happy we can try another one.
**Duke is sweating more now. He nods to continue the test.**
EXAMINER: Did you recently defeat DC Antonio on SWA television.
DUKE: Yes.
**No response from the machine.**
EXAMINER: Did you lose to Captain Insanity in a previous episode of SWA Fever?
DUKE: Absolutely not.
**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**
DUKE: It's doing that beeping thing again. What's wrong with that machine?
EXAMINER: There's nothing wrong with it. It's reading your response as a lie.
DUKE: I never lie. I never lost to Captain Insanity. The officials ruled afterwards that it was a bad call.
**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**
DUKE: They said Ian DeTornado and Captain Insanity had made some pact against me. Unsportsman like conduct is what they said. Tornado and Insanity had jealousy issues towards me.
**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**
DUKE: In fact if you go back and review the tape, you'll see that my shoulder was up the whole time. I was never officially pinned, therefore I never officially lost.
**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**
DUKE: Would you cut that out? Your machine is on the fritz. This is ridiculous.
EXAMINER: For the last time there's nothing wrong with this machine. We can try it one more time.
**Duke now looks furious. He agrees to carry on still.**
EXAMINER: Gabreal Martin recently made comments about him overshadowing you, and you always destined to come in seconad place to him. You responded by saying that Gabreal Martin lacked character since he recently got hooked crack as an escape for him previously being hooked on steroids, which he started out of desperation from not being able to match your intense and olympic class training regiment, and you claimed you had video evidence of him shooting up, which yoiu refused to release since The Sedition spies had confiscated it. Is any part of this story true?
DUKE: Every last word of it. **BEEP, BEEP, BEEP** I've never told a lie in my life, and on top of all of that, Martin got the drugs from Teen Throb, who also harbors jealousy towards me for stealing his girlfriends attention every week on the show. **BEEP, BEEP, BEEP** He got his supply from the same people who are keeping Van Der Kamp drugged to wipe out his memory of being an utter failure and disappointment in life. **BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**. Van Der Kamp's been missing for the last month and a half because of Mr. Kiljoy, who uses drugs to induce psychotic episodes in his opponents. We all saw that movie IT. Same principal except all drug induced. **BEEP, BEEP, BEEP** And if you wanna know where Kiljoy got the drugs from, just ask Geriatric Waylon Hawthorne's nurse and orderlies if they've noticed anything go missing from the pharmaceutical cabinet at the retirement home.
**The machine has continued beeping this entire time. Duke Wallace rips the attachments off his arm and picks the machine up. He whips it at the examiner, who gets knocke dout of the chair as the machine comes flying into his face. He hits the floor and Duke turns to Travis Malloy, who's now backing away.**
DUKE: Blasted machine. Probably made in China. You told me if I agreed to this test it would be fair. You never said anything about faulty machines.
TRAVIS: Just don't hurt me, Duke. I'm still healing after last week.
DUKE: You know, I don't have time for this. All the critics can say whatever they want. You know what it's like to live a life of pain and torment, to lie in a hospital bed barely clininging to your life, only to come back, regain full mobility, rise in prominence in a brutal and competitive industry, become a hero to thousands of people every night, only to have some call you a liar and try to sabotage your credibility by putting some phony polygraph examiner on TV with a faulty machine? Of course you don't know what that's like. Only I would be subjected to such disrespect. I couldn't care less. I live every day to show the world what a real man is meant to be. Pure, uncorrupted by the politics of the business, clean of the dope and filth that pollutes human life. This world needs a hero. Before I can be that hero, I have to become a champion. This week I'll prove to all the doubters out that that Duke Wallace is the one and only Supremacist. Once I'm SWA Champion, nobody will doubt me ever again.
**Duke Wallace kicks the polygraph machine against the wall and storms out.**
DUKE: Yes.
**"The Supremacist" Duke Wallace is strapped into a polygrapjh machine. Beads of sweat roll down his head. The examiner studies the machine and has a pen standing by to track the results. SWA resident interviewer Travis Malloy stands on the far side of the room. He turns to the camera and whispers.**
TRAVIS: I am here today with "The Supremacist" Duke Wallace, who has agreed to take a lie detector test, also known as a polygraph, to satisfy some of his harshest critics who say Wallace is full of it. Now it's finally time to find out if Duke Wallace is the real deal, or the pathological liar many believe him to be. The test is about to begin.
**The examiner starts the machine.**
EXAMINER: Is your name Duke Wallace?
DUKE: Yes.
**No movement on the needle.**
EXAMINER: Are you 29 years old.
DUKE: Yes.
**Still no movement.**
EXAMINER: Are you currently employed by the Sedition Wrestling Allliance?
DUKE: Yes.
EXAMINER: Did you suffer a serious car accident in your youth?
DUKE: Yes.
**No movement on the needle. Travis Malloy looks a little surprised by this.**
TRAVIS: So now we know Duke wasn't lying about that.
EXAMINER: Did you break every bone in your body during that accident.
DUKE: Yes.
**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**
DUKE: What's that noise? What's going on?
EXAMINER: The machine is indicating a lie.
DUKE: Your machine's the liar, not me. It's faulty equipment.
EXAMINER: I'm not accusing you of anything, just reading the results. If you're not happy we can try another one.
**Duke is sweating more now. He nods to continue the test.**
EXAMINER: Did you recently defeat DC Antonio on SWA television.
DUKE: Yes.
**No response from the machine.**
EXAMINER: Did you lose to Captain Insanity in a previous episode of SWA Fever?
DUKE: Absolutely not.
**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**
DUKE: It's doing that beeping thing again. What's wrong with that machine?
EXAMINER: There's nothing wrong with it. It's reading your response as a lie.
DUKE: I never lie. I never lost to Captain Insanity. The officials ruled afterwards that it was a bad call.
**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**
DUKE: They said Ian DeTornado and Captain Insanity had made some pact against me. Unsportsman like conduct is what they said. Tornado and Insanity had jealousy issues towards me.
**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**
DUKE: In fact if you go back and review the tape, you'll see that my shoulder was up the whole time. I was never officially pinned, therefore I never officially lost.
**BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**
DUKE: Would you cut that out? Your machine is on the fritz. This is ridiculous.
EXAMINER: For the last time there's nothing wrong with this machine. We can try it one more time.
**Duke now looks furious. He agrees to carry on still.**
EXAMINER: Gabreal Martin recently made comments about him overshadowing you, and you always destined to come in seconad place to him. You responded by saying that Gabreal Martin lacked character since he recently got hooked crack as an escape for him previously being hooked on steroids, which he started out of desperation from not being able to match your intense and olympic class training regiment, and you claimed you had video evidence of him shooting up, which yoiu refused to release since The Sedition spies had confiscated it. Is any part of this story true?
DUKE: Every last word of it. **BEEP, BEEP, BEEP** I've never told a lie in my life, and on top of all of that, Martin got the drugs from Teen Throb, who also harbors jealousy towards me for stealing his girlfriends attention every week on the show. **BEEP, BEEP, BEEP** He got his supply from the same people who are keeping Van Der Kamp drugged to wipe out his memory of being an utter failure and disappointment in life. **BEEP, BEEP, BEEP**. Van Der Kamp's been missing for the last month and a half because of Mr. Kiljoy, who uses drugs to induce psychotic episodes in his opponents. We all saw that movie IT. Same principal except all drug induced. **BEEP, BEEP, BEEP** And if you wanna know where Kiljoy got the drugs from, just ask Geriatric Waylon Hawthorne's nurse and orderlies if they've noticed anything go missing from the pharmaceutical cabinet at the retirement home.
**The machine has continued beeping this entire time. Duke Wallace rips the attachments off his arm and picks the machine up. He whips it at the examiner, who gets knocke dout of the chair as the machine comes flying into his face. He hits the floor and Duke turns to Travis Malloy, who's now backing away.**
DUKE: Blasted machine. Probably made in China. You told me if I agreed to this test it would be fair. You never said anything about faulty machines.
TRAVIS: Just don't hurt me, Duke. I'm still healing after last week.
DUKE: You know, I don't have time for this. All the critics can say whatever they want. You know what it's like to live a life of pain and torment, to lie in a hospital bed barely clininging to your life, only to come back, regain full mobility, rise in prominence in a brutal and competitive industry, become a hero to thousands of people every night, only to have some call you a liar and try to sabotage your credibility by putting some phony polygraph examiner on TV with a faulty machine? Of course you don't know what that's like. Only I would be subjected to such disrespect. I couldn't care less. I live every day to show the world what a real man is meant to be. Pure, uncorrupted by the politics of the business, clean of the dope and filth that pollutes human life. This world needs a hero. Before I can be that hero, I have to become a champion. This week I'll prove to all the doubters out that that Duke Wallace is the one and only Supremacist. Once I'm SWA Champion, nobody will doubt me ever again.
**Duke Wallace kicks the polygraph machine against the wall and storms out.**