SNF: Edmonton (4/10/10)

[Sedition: The Rev]

September 2004
Atlantic City

**SWA Owners The Rev and Gladiator are walking the floor of a casino with bundles of chips in their hands.**

[The Rev]-- SWA is killing the competition in the ratings and we're on top of the wrestling world. We're rich beyond our wildest dreams. Nothing can stop us now.

[Gladiator]-- Got that right...... Lets double our finances so we can buy new gold cadillacs.

[The Rev]-- With our luck lately, we can't lose!

BLACK JACK TABLE

**Gladiator sits across from the Black Jack dealer sipping his Shirley Temple. He confidently taps the table.**

[Gladiator]-- Hit me.

[Black Jack Dealer]-- 17!

[Gladiator]-- Hit me.

[Black Jack Dealer]-- 19!

[Gladiator]-- Hit me.

[Black Jack Dealer]-- 23!

[Gladiator]-- Hit me.

[Black Jack Dealer]-- 26!

[Gladiator]-- Hit me.

[Black Jack Dealer]-- 34!

[Gladiator]-- Hit me.

[Black Jack Dealer]-- Sir, you busted 3 hits ago.

[Gladiator]-- Busted, eh? Okay............... I take my last 3 hits back.

[Black Jack Dealer]-- You can't take it back.

[Gladiator]-- Give me my money!

[Black Jack Dealer]-- No! Get away from my table!

**Gladiator slams his hand down on the black jack table.**

ROULETTE TABLE

**Rev and Gladiator discuss their strategy back and forth. They nod in agreement and lay their chips on the table.**

[The Rev]-- I'll bet it all on RED.

**The wheel spins. The roulette ball slowly comes to a stop on BLACK.**

[Roulette Croupier]-- Black wins.

[Gladiator]-- No! We meant Black.

[Roulette Croupier]-- Better luck next time gentlemen.

[The Rev]-- Don't worry, I know how to play this game. Just think back to Plinko....

**Rev throws more chips on the table. The ball spins and lands on black again.**

[Roulette Croupier]-- black wins.

[The Rev]-- No! That's it............. Bob Barker's getting a letter bomb for this one!

**Rev slams his hand down on Roulette table.**

SLOT MACHINES

**Rev is shaking a slot machine violently as Gladiator punches and kicks it. A security guard approaches them.**

[Casino Guard]-- Excuse me, can I help you with something?

[Gladiator]-- Yes you can! This machine just ate our last dollars!

[Casino Guard]-- Terribly sorry about that. How many of the coins in there were yours? We'll happily retrieve them for you.

**Rev and Gladiator look at each other and huddle together. They whisper back and forth. They come to a decision and look back to the guard.**

[The Rev]-- All of them.

**The guard blinks and stares at Rev and Gladiator.**

[Casino Guard]-- Get out.

NARRATOR: And so with their pockets empty, Rev and Gladiator made the difficult decision to close the SWA. Years past... new alliances were formed.... new championships won.... The Sedition began to grow, spread, infect the wrestling world again. The memory of SWA never died. Many tried to imitate, but none could duplicate. Even Rev and Gladiator stepped up as General Managers in a rival promotion, but it never was the same. They knew it was time for a revival.

Calls were placed. A roster began to reform. Mr. Kiljoy, Waylon Hawthorne, Teen Throb and Captain Insanity were all on board again. Bryce Bridges, Kid Cannabis, Duke Wallace and Ian DeTornado were compelled to throw their hat into the most dangerous ring in this sport. Former SWA legend Michael Saint agreed to a merger with his KCW promotion. SWA was reborn.

But it wasn't the same. Even with some of the greatest classic competitors, a former legend in a staff role, and a line up of disgustingly violent matches on the card, it still was not the SWA Rev and Gladiator remembered. This company would never be complete. Not yet

There was only one man who would make it complete...

*A hairy middle aged Italian man whistles a merry tune as he strolls through a parking lot. It's none other than Joe Aiello, broadcast journalist extraordinaire. He goes to unlock his newly repaired Sunfire. A noise can be heard in the distance. Joe turns around and nervously looks across the parking lot to find the origin of the noise. There's nothing out of the ordinary. A nervous Joe unlocks the door and starts to climb into the drivers seat, but before he sits down, he sees a red dot appear on his side. He tries to wipe the dot away, assuming it's lint or dirt, but the dot remains. It's now clear that it's a laser. Joe screams like a terrified little girl, drops his keys and tries to run. Before he can get 3 feet a shot can be heard and Joe falls flat on his face. A tranquilizer dart has hit him in the back. Within seconds an unmarked van parks right next to Joe's body. Rev and Gladiator jump out of the van, pick up Joe's limp body and toss him into the back of the van. Gladiator hops into the drivers seat and speeds away. Joe is slurring his words in the back of the van.*

JOE: Why are you doing this to me?

REV: Ten years ago we bought custody of you and your soul in a business dealing. Legally you are still ours. I don't care how many other jobs you have. You were ours then, and you're ours now.

JOE: But what about my family? My wife? My kids?

GLADIATOR: You behave and we'll consider supervised visits. For now, just sit down, shut up, and call the matches. It'll be just like the old days. Ahahahaha!

REV: Ahahahahahahaha!

JOE: Noooooooooo!!!!!!!

_________________________

PRESENTS



Live from
EDMONTON, ALBERTA, CANADA



_________________________

**The fans are on their feet chanting “Welcome back! Welcome back! Welcome back!” As the SWA logo flashes on the JumboTron, and pyros shoot off above the ring, a heavyset security guard wheels Joe Aiello out on a dolly. He has duct tape on his mouth and a straight jacket around his torso. The guard wheels him over to the commentators table, where Skippy Mohophosite, the pasty white Sedition publicist sits with a headset on. The guard pulls Joe Aiello off of the dolly and sits him down next to Skippy.**

SKIPPY: Greetings my old friend!

JOE: Mmmhmmmhmmmm.Rrrrrmmmmhmmmm!

**Skippy rips the duct tape off Joe Aillo's mouth. He lets out a whimper.**

JOE: Why did this have to happen again? I have so happy. My life was peaceful. I should have known I'd never be free.

SKIPPY: Just sit back and enjoy the show. Try not to squirm too much, those straight jackets have been known to cause muscle cramps.

JOE: I suppose as always Rev and Gladiator have some elaborate death trap designed to keep me here. What is it this time? C4 planted under my seat? 10,000 Volts of electricity wired to my chair? Snipers in the rafters?

SKIPPY: They didn't fill me in on the details. Probably safest if you assume all of the above.

JOE: Great. I know the drill. Just make the best of it. I'd like to say it's good to see you again Skippy, but...... well........... it's not.

SKIPPY: I've missed you too. You wouldn't believe who's showing up tonight for the show. Take a look at this.

------------------------------


MAIN EVENT
RUSTY BLADE ON A POLE MATCH

MR. KILJOY
-vs-
WAYLON HAWTHORNE



SPANISH BROADCAST TABLE MATCH

KID CANNABIS
-vs-
TEEN THROB


MYSTERY MATCH

BRYCE BRIDGES
-vs-
MYSTERY OPPONENT



EXTREME COMBAT RULES
TRAILER PARK MATCH

CAPTAIN INSANITY
-vs-
IAN DE TORNADO
-vs-
DUKE WALLACE


------------------------------

SKIPPY: Old friends and new friends. I can't wait.

JOE: A trailer park match? Those poor people have no clue what's coming their way.

SKIPPY: Extreme Combat rules means anything goes. Captain Insanity is the only man to hold the EC Title 3 times. He's returning to SWA in his element, with two rising stars as his opponents. Ian De Tornado and Duke Wallace both want to make their mark in SWA. Only one of these guys will survive the first ever Trailer Park Match, which will take place entirely in a real trailer park on the outskirts of Edmonton.

JOE: Good use of cue cards, Skippy. Sounded very natural.

SKIPPY: I practiced in front of a mirror...... naked.

JOE: What?

SKIPPY: I feel more confident that way.

JOE: Why did you have to tell me that? I'm going to forget I heard anything. Back to the match, I hope those poor trailer park residents have house insurance, cause I know SWA doesn't have any.

SKIPPY: Our cameras are standing by at the trailer park location, where we go to our first match.

Duke Wallace -vs- Ian De Tornado -vs Captain Insanity

It cuts to the trailer park on the outskirts of Edmonton. Captain Insanity, Ian DeTornado and Duke Wallace are all on the road in the middle of the park. Dozens of trailers surround them. A group of fans watching their TVs have recognized their neighbourhood and come out to gather around the match.

Duke Wallace stands arrogantly looking down his nose at everyone gathering around. Ian De Tornado is stretching a few feet away. Captain Insanity is holding his old Extreme Combat title.

JOE: Did I miss something? This isn't a title match already,. Is it?

SKIPPY: No. Captain Insanity found out the old belt had been pawned. He's holding onto it for safe keeping I guess.

The referee rings a hand held bell and all 3 men try to make their first moves. Ian De Tornado charges at Duke Wallace, who picks up a rake from someone's yard and swings it hard, knocking Tornado back a few feet. He then hovers over Tornado and raises the rake, preparing to drop it spikes first onto Tornado. Tornado rolls out of the way just a split second before the rake hits. Duke tries to pull the rake out of the grass, but he's stalled for a few seconds doing it. Tornado ties Duke up in a drop toe hold. Duke falls face first on the lawn. Tornado locks in an STF. The ref gets in position to see if Duke submits. Captain Insanity is hanging back casually watching.

JOE: There's always one guy in a triple threat match who's smart enough to wait for the right moment to strike.

SKIPPY: That's why Captain Insnaity is the champ. The champ is always the smartest guy in the room.

JOE: But he's not the champ. You said yourself he just bought the belt at a pawn shop.

SKIPPY: Okay then. The thriftiest shopper is usually the smartest guy in the room

As Tornado continues to apply pressure with the STF, Captain Insanity slowly pulls a mailbox post out of the lawn. He walks up behind Tornado and Duke and nails Tornado in the back of the head with the metal mailbox. Tornado lets go of the STF and rolls on the ground. Insanity rips the mailbox off of the post and lays it over Tornado's face. He then raises the wood post and smashes it against the metal mailbox, denting it badly and crushing Tornado's face underneath. Tornado rolls around in pain holding his face. Insanity throws the post away and covers him.

1...





2...





Kickout by Tornado. Insanity picks Tornado up and runs forward, Powerslamming him right into the exterior wall of a trailer. Insanity then takes Tornado's face and grinds it against the side of the trailer.

About 30 feet down the road, Duke Wallace has opened the door of a Sunfire and looks to be hotwiring it. The engine starts.

JOE: Wait a second, I recognize those plates. Is that my Sunfire? How did it end up there?

SKIPPY: Rev and Gladiator had it towed to the trailer park. They had a feeling it might come in handy.

Captain Insanity now scoops Tornado up in a Fireman's Carry and holds him over his shoulders. He starts to spin him around in an Airplane spin, but he stops the rotation when he hears an engine rev. Insanity turns around just in time to see the look of madness on Duke Wallace's face as he drives the Sunfire into him with Tornado still on his shoulders. Insanity and Tornado roll over the hood and hit the windshield. The car crashes through the side of the trailer.

SKIPPY: Holy property damage! This is an SWA show alright!

The camera moves through the hole in the side of the trailer. The car has come to a full stop half parked inside the trailer's living room. Captain Insanity and Tornado both roll off the hood onto the living room floor. They look up and see an 8 year old boy sitting on the floor with his eyes bugged out and mouth gaping wide open. He looks back at the TV which is still running..... and by coincidence airing SWA's Saturday Night Fever. He sees himself on the TV, turns back to the wreckage, then calls out.

BOY: Mom! It's them!

The little boy's mother comes into the living room to find a car through the window and Tornado and Insanity grappling around their living room. She screams and grabs her little boy. She places him behind the sofa and grabs a broom from the kitchen. The mother starts swinging at Tornado and Insanity. They both let go of each other and dodge out of the way. She moves forward to swing the broom at them again. Duke is now out of the front seat of the car. He grabs her from behind and Back Suplexes her over the sofa.

JOE: Unbelievable.

SKIPPY: I know. Better than a front row seat.

Duke gets up and approaches Insanity. He dives through the air attempting to Spear him into the wall, but Insanity leap frogs over him and Duke dives straight into the kitchen. Insanity starts to move after Duke, but Tornado grabs his head from behind and smashes it into the glass china cabinet against the wall. Insanity goes down and Tornado runs into the kitchen.

Duke is on his feet as Tornado comes after him. Tornado kicks Duke in the midsection. He hooks him under his arm and Snap Suplexes him over head and directly onto the counter. Tornado climbs up on the counter with Duke and picks him up. He bends Duke over and executes a Guillotine Leg Drop. Duke goes down on the counter again. Tornado rolls him over and covers him. The ref gets in position while huffing and puffing. He counts Duke down.

1...





2...




Duke grabs hold of a frying pan and nails Tornado on the back of the head with it. Tornado rolls off the counter and Duke follows. Duke is getting ready to lock up with him when suddenly Captain Insanity appears from behind. He spins Duke around and hits him with a Superkick. Duke goes down. Insanity levels Tornado now with a Clothesline. He grabs both of Tornado's legs and lines him up on the floor. Insanity lowers himself back and Slingshots Tornado up in the air and straight through the patio door. He crashes through the screen and tumbles out into the back yard. Insanity is on his way out the door to follow him when Tornado hits him with a Flying Roundhouse kick that knocks Insanity into the back yard.

JOE: And with that one family's trailer terror ends.

Tornado picks up both Insanity and Duke. He grabs them both by the back of the heads and bashes their heads together. Both men look dazed by this and start to go down, but Tornado brings their heads together again. Their skulls crash together and Tornado lets go of them. Insanity falls to the ground, but Duke tries his hardest to stay on his feet. Tornado tries to hit him with a right hand. Duke blocks this and knees Tornado to the groin. He then grabs him by the arm and Irish Whips him across the yard. Tornado keeps running until he hits a rusted, stripped and burned out old Monte Carlo in the back yard and flips over the hood. He's now on the neighbouring property.

SKIPPY: No way they're going to hotwire that one.

Duke staggers across the property line toward Tornado. He finds him flat on the grass on the next property. Near the next trailer is a middle aged man sitting in a kiddie pool drinking a beer. The man stands up and slurs his words.

MAN: What's going on here?

Duke picks Tornado up over his head in a Gorilla Press Slam and tosses him into the arms of the drunk man. They both land in the kiddie pool. Half the water splashes across the yard. Duke picks Tornado up and bends him over, trying to execute a DDT, but Tornado delivers a Drop Toe Hold and Duke lands face first in the kiddie pool. Tornado holds Duke's face under the water and starts to drown him. Duke flails his arms about but he can't get his head up for air.

JOE: Great. SWA is about to have it's first ever death by drowning.

SKIPPY: Reruns to air at 11:00.

While Tornado continues to drown Duke, Captain Insanity has snuck up on them. He's holding a sledgehammer! Insnaity grabs the base of the kiddie pool and drags it underneath a wooden deck. Tornado lets go of Duke and both of them quickly try to get out from under it. Captain Insanity hits the leg posts of the deck with the sledghammer. The legs crack and the deck comes crashing down on top of Tornado and Duke. They're both hanging half way out with the wood trapping them. Insnaity places a hand over Duke and the ref moves into position to count.

1...





2...





3!


Winner: Captain Insanity!

Rescue workers rush in to try freeing Tornado and Duke from under the fallen deck. Insanity grabs the almost empty beer out of the drunk man's hands and walks off screen downing it. It returns to ringside where Joe and Skippy turn away from their monitors.

JOE: I think it's safe to say that will make the highlight reel.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Sedition: The Rev]

_______________________

**Backstage we find Rev and Gladiator pacing back and forth behind the entrance area.**

REV: Where is Saint? And where's our mystery opponent for Bryce Bridges? And where's our new ring announcer? You said you hired the best guy in the business.

GLADIATOR: Bad news. It turns out the best guy in the business takes issue with working for minimum wage.

REV: Great. Who are we going to use for the announcer?

GLADIATOR: Give me 2 minutes. I'll find the best guy minimum wage can buy.

**Gladiator runs down the hall and out the front door. On the street in front of the arena he looks through the crowd of people walking by. In the midst of that crowd is a charismatic looking bald black man holding a stack of t-shirts. The camera moves in closer and his face becomes visible.**

VIRGIL: T-shirts! Get your t-shirts here! Excuse me miss, wanna buy a t-shirt of Virgil and the Million Dollar Man? It's got my autograph on there and everything. Complete your collection with your exclusive t-shirt of Virgil right here! What about you, sir? You look like a Large. I got plenty of larges.

**It's former wrestling superstar Virgil! Gladiator smiles like an excited fan and shouts over the crowd to him.**

GLADIATOR: Hey Virgil! You want a job?

VIRGIL: What does it pay?

GLADIATOR: Minimum wage!

VIRGIL: Can I sell my merchandise on the job?

GLADIATOR: Go for it!

**Virgil picks up his box full of t-shirts and follows Gladiator into the building. Gladiator taps Rev on the shoulder and proudly presents Virgil to him.**

REV: You hired Virgil?

GLADIATOR: Sure did. You may also remember him as country music singing wrestler Curly Bill from the West Texas Rednecks.

VIRGIL: Listen, I can be whatever you want me to be. I'll put on a cowboy hat, a sailors hat, a pimps hat. I'll even put on one of these exclusive Virgil t-shirts. Normally $25, but for you, just $20.99!

REV: You're hired. Give the man a microphone and send him out there.

**Gladiator places a microphone in Virgil's hand and pushes him through the entranceway.**

______________________

JOE: And so another poor soul gets roped into slave duty.

SKIPPY: Some of us enjoy our jobs here in SWA.

JOE: I'm guessing “some of us” doesn't refer to those forced into straight jackets.

SKIPPY: Just let me know if you have an itch. I got your back.

JOE: You most certainly do not.

Skippy: Next up is the first ever Spanish Announce Table Match in SWA history.

Joe: The only way to win this match is to put your opponent through our good friends the Spanish Announce Teams table. Some would say that this is racist and not cool to force on someone.

Skippy: Those people would be morons though.

Teen Throb -vs- Kid Cannabis

"War Is Necessary" by Nas booms on the P.A. The arena fills with obscenely expensive pyro and lights displays as the one and only...

Kid Cannabis! Wrestling legend and the inventor of dynamite, strolls down the enterance ramp, smoking a big fat blunt full of blueberry kush while he flips off and berates the fans.

VIRGIL: Introducing first, hailing from Amsterdam, standing 6 feet tall and weighing 232 pounds. He is the man who surpassed yours truly as the most successful black athlete in the world of wrestling, the legendary KID CANNABIS!!!

As the opening harmonies from Watch Out's song Babe You Know You Want Me begin, every man in the arena groans. The girls, at least those under the age of 30 all scream. Teen Throb's pretty ol' face flashes on the big screen and he dances down the aisle in traditional boy band fashion. Once entering the ring Teen Throb lip syncs his own lyrics and swivels his hips to please his fans.

VIRGIL: And his opponent. From Grand Forks, North Dakota. Standing at a height of 6 feet and 3 inches, and wieghing in at 210 pounds. The pretty boy of SWA, he is TEEN THROB!!!


(The bell rings and right away Kid Can takes down Teen Throb into a mounted punch. Kid Can goes to town on his smaller opponent not letting him get to his feet. When Throb eventually gets to his feet Kid Can takes him over with a northern lights suplex. Kid Can is bridging, but the ref tells him this match can't end in a pin fall. Kid Can lets up Throb get to his feet and goes for another northern lights, but this time Throb is able to reverse and spike him on his head with a DDT. Throb is not going to waste any time he throws his opponent to the outside of the ring before cleaning off the Spanish announce table. Throb grabs a hold of Kid Can and attempts to put him on the table, but before Throb can get him on it Kid Can rolls off the table and gets back into the ring.

Joe: Good strategy. Stay as far away from that table as possible.

Both men are up in the ring and Throb goes for a clothesline, but Kid Can ducks under it. When Throb turns around Kid Can gives him an inverted atomic drop! Kid Can hits the ropes and takes down Throb with a clothesline on his own. Throb is to his feet and gets clotheslined over the top rope to the outside.)

Joe: Kid Cannabis is a house of fire.

Skippy: As a member of The Sedition he knows that he has to impress out there every week.

Joe: Yes very true. Rev and Gladiator might do unspeakable things to him if he lost the match.

(Kid Can hits the ropes on one side of the ring and comes back with a corkscrew plancha over the top rope to the outside onto Teen Throb! Kid Can pulls himself up and grabs the head of Throb. Kid Can sets up for The Chronic by running up the apron on the outside, but is unable to connect when Throb sends him crotch first into a steel ring post! Both men are down, but Kid Can seems to be the one who is much worse off at the moment. Teen Throb pulls Kid Can over to the Spanish announce table and puts him on top of it. Throb gets on the table and goes for a piledriver, but Kid Can blocks it and gets to his feet. Kid Can goes for a suplex on the table, but Throb is able to block that as well. Teen Throb sets up and delivers a big time DDT onto the announce table, but it does not break! Kid Can just holds his head for a moment before rolling off the table and hitting the floor. Throb looks over at the ref who says that he has not won, because the table did not break. Throb looks at the Spanish Announce Team who just shrug out of confusion. Throb looks down at Kid Can. Throb gets himself into position and jumps off the announce table with The Pretty Boy Splash, but Kid Can rolls out of the way and Throb just eats the cold hard floor!)

Joe: Jesus christ!

Skippy: I can't believe that just happened. Teen Throb might be dead.

Joe: He is definitely out of this match they should stop it.

Skippy: Stop it! Where do you think we are! This is SWA we do not stop matches for injury.

Joe: Oh yeah that is right, but then again we do not give them health insurance either.

Skippy: True lets just hope no one is hurt.

(Kid Can picks up Throb and sets up for a powerbomb, but he gets backdropped onto the announce table. Kid Can gets to his feet the same time that Throb does. Kid Can off the announce table with a flying body press, but Throb jumps up and dropkicks him in the stomach as he is coming down. Throb gets to his feet and goes for a running dropkick to the face of the down Kid Can, but he rolls out of the way. Throb gets to his feet and gets a Superkick from Kid Can. Kid Can puts Throb on the table and once again goes for a piledriver, but Throb is able to stop that with a low blow! Throb gets a normal table from under the ring. Kid Can and Throb are on the table battling back and forth. Neither man is giving an inch. Kid Can gets in a gut shot and goes to powerbomb Throb from one table to the other,but he gets back dropped breaking the non announce table! Throb gets to his feet and starts leaping around to celebrate.)

Skippy: The match is not over.

Joe: Not at all I believe. I mean completely wrong table.

(The ref tells Throb that it was the wrong table. Throb picks up Kid Can and puts him on the Spanish announce table. Throb goes under the ring and takes out a ladder. Throb gets the ladder set up and starts to climb, but as he does Kid Can gets off the table. Kid Can is on one side of the ladder and Throb is on the other. Kid Can and Throb trade punches for a moment with Kid Can getting the upper hand. Kid Can with a haymaker that rocks Throb. Kid Can has him set up and Suplex off the ladder through the Spanish Announce Table for the win!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)


Your winner: Kid Cannabis!

Spanish announcer: Ahora donde soy supuesto poner mi bebida?

JOE: What a close call that was. Teen Throb almost had him.

SKIPPY: It just goes to show. You can't beat The Sedition.

JOE: One day someone in this place will prove you wrong.

_______________________

An old 1980's style Buick screeches into the parking lot of the arena. It is followed closely by a black SUV. "The Geriatric One" Waylon Hawthorne hops out of his old Buick and runs towards the door. Two men in white coats hop out of the SUV and chase him down. Hawthorne runs into the arena. The two men in white coats follow after him. Hawthorne sees Travis Malloy.

MALLOY: "Hey Waylo... I mean Mr. Hawthorne. Do you mind if I get a quick interview with you?"

HAWTHORNE: "Only if you agree to turn a blind eye to what I'm about to do."

MALLOY: "Sure thing."

The two men in white coats burst through the doors. Hawthorne pulls out some pepper spray and sprays them both in the eyes. As they grab their eyes, Hawthorne reaches into one of their pockets and pulls out a taser. He zaps them both till they pass out. He then hogties them with duct tape and puts them in a closet. Hawthorne pushes a heavy desk in front of the door.

MALLOY: "This may surprise you, but this isn't the first time I've seen that happen."

HAWTHORNE: "Really?"

MALLOY: "I do work for Rev and Gladiator."

HAWTHORNE: "Good point."

Malloy pulls a microphone out of his pocket.

MALLOY: "Travis Malloy here with "The Geriatric One" Waylon Hawthorne. Mr. Hawthorne, what are your thoughts about your Rusty Blade On A Pole Match with Mr. Kiljoy tonight."

HAWTHORNE: "Rusty Blade On A Pole Match? Good Lord what have I gotten myself into? Back in my day we used our fists in the ring. Now their bringing rusty blades into it."

MALLOY: "No offense Mr. Hawthorne, but back in your day wrestling wasn't nearly as popular as it is today."

HAWTHORNE: "Balderdash! It was just as popular then as it is now. Back then it was a gentlemen's support. Both the competitors and the fans were respectful. Now we have psychotic clowns, and evil potsmokers in the ring, and drunken punks in the crowd. I'm here to give the SWA a good solid dose of old school respectability."

MALLOY: "Well, I'm sure your opponent isn't interested in old school respectability. He's gonna do whatever it takes to make sure he gets the chance to stab you with a rusty blade tonight."

HAWTHORNE: "Well then I'll just have to fight fire, with fire. First I'm gonna get jiggy with it all over his face, then I'll stick the rusty blade in his face and I'll do it all with grace and dignity."

MALLOY: "How can you stab someone in the face with grace and dignity?"

HAWTHORNE: "I wouldn't expect a little brat like you to understand. You'll just have to watch and see. "The Geriatric One" is gonna rise straight to the top, and it all starts tonight with Bozo the clown. So whatcha gonna do Mr. Kiljoy, when "The Geriatric One" gets jiggy with it all over you!"

Hawthorne flexes his saggy old man muscles and walks off camera.

MALLOY: "I can't even begin to describe just how wrong that sounded. Back to you at ringside."

_______________________

[Sedition: The Rev]

_______________________

(Land of the Rising Sun by The Animals plays on the PA as Michael Saint comes to the ring with a microphone in hand and an intent look on his face.)

JOE: Here he is. Once just a rising star in SWA. Now he's in the power seat next to Rev and Gladiator.

SKIPPY: Time to see if he's on board.

(The cheers die down and Saint raises the mic.)

Saint: I want to say a few things. I have to thank both Rev and Gladiator for agreeing to let me be a part of this. With the merger of KCW and SWA you will get some great matches. I am hoping that very soon some of the former KCW people will be showing up here in SWA.

(cheers)

Saint: The other thing I want to address is my involvement in the match between Bryce Brides and Johnny Insane at the EWC Anniversary Show. I was asked to be the guest Ref for that match by Mac himself. I will not say that I was the best ref in the world, but I want to tell you I did what I thought was right. I will admit to doing things in my career to people that were not always on the up and up. I have messed with people, but when I am set to be a ref in a match I am going to call it down the middle.

(cheers)

Saint: I guess that when I made The Sedition leave ringside and prevented them from costing Bryce the match I may have made those two men very unhappy with me.

(Booing)

Saint: I respect what Rev and Gladiator have done for me in my career, but when they let me on this ride I guess they did not know what they were getting into. I am not going to roll around on the floor. I am not going to be their bitch. I will do what I want when I want. I will stand in the ring and I will fight for those who Rev and Gladiator are fighting against. I do not care who it is, but if The Sedition think they can jack around with me or Bryce Bridges or anyone else I will stand up to them and fight back. I am not afraid of either man.

(Cheers from the crowd. This quickly turns to boos as Rev and Gladiator appear at the top of the entrance ramp.)

REV: We've all come a long way since the last time SWA had a show. You've grown from an in ring up and comer to a dedicated corporate man. You single handedly ran EWC for a year, and then successfully revived KCW. Now we're all back here in SWA.

GLADIATOR: We've been looking forward to this merge, Saint. You've worked some miracles in the past. When EWC seemed dead, you brought it back to life. You took a small promotion like KCW and helped produce an exciting and innovative product. Believe it or not, we admire the work you've done in this business. We admire it so much so, that we've decided to scoop up an old friend of yours.

REV: That's right. Some might say he was your greatest creation in this business. Now he's leaving the little leagues on Team Saint to play with the big boys. Ladies and gentlemen, and Michael Saint, please welcome former KCW Champion, and the new ally of The Sedition, Mr. Gabreal Martin!

The lights in the arena go black as The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived (Variations On A Shaker Hymn) by Weezer plays on the PA

"You try to play it cool like you just don't care
But soon I'll be playin' in your underwear
I'm like a mage with the magic spell
You come like a dog when I ring your bell
I got the money and I got the fame
You've got the hots to ride on my plane
You've given me all that I desire
Cuz down with me I'm takin' you higher"

A spotlight is shown on Gabe as he shakes Rev and Gladiator's hands and heads down the aisle.

"I'm baddest of the bad
I'm the best that you've ever had
I'm the tops, I'm the king
All the girls get up when I sing
I'm the meanest in the place
Step up, I'll mess with your face
I don't care where you are
Look up and follow this star"

(Gabe gets in the ring and grabs a microphone of his own.)

Gabe: What Saint you look sort of shocked. I mean I guess that you did not see this one coming.

Saint: I guess you could say that. I figured that since I trained you that you would stay by my side here.

Gabe: I will admit you did things for me in my career, but I learned something else for you. I learned that Rev and Gladiator are two men that are genius' They are the two most brilliant men in this business you said so yourself on more than one occasion.

Saint: They are brilliant, but you have said the same about me.

Gabe: Indeed. You are a brilliant man or so I thought. You see the more time I spent with these two men I realized something. I came to realize that you were not brilliant. You were just a rip off. You were just a watered down version of Rev or Gladiator. You mislead me to think that you were a genius.

Saint: I am a genius. I may not have had the same career without these two men, but I would still be the best mind in the business today.

Gabe: I disagree. Without Rev or Gladiator you would be some small time wrestler getting small payoffs. You would not be in any sort of position of power anywhere. You have to look at it from my point of view Saint. I am would much rather be aligned with the two genius' of this federation instead of some lame wanna be who will not accomplish anything despite what he says.

Saint: You have chosen the wrong road these two will lead you to a road to ruin.

Gabe: No I am the Chosen One. I am the man that these two men have decided would be the start. I am the very best at what I do. I am going to take out Bryce Bridges tonight and then when I get rid of him I am moving on to the SWA World Championship. I am the man Saint and you are just some one that will never be able to measure up to me in any way possible.

(The fans boo Gabreal and start to throw garbage. Saint tries hard to hide his frustration. Rev and Gladiator laugh as they come down the aisle.)

REV: I love this merger! After this break you'll all see why Gabreal Martin is the Chosen One. And maybe we'll finally be done with Bryce Bridges once and for all.

GLADIATOR: Just to make sure things are fair, Rev and I will be hanging out at ringside. If you want to avoid a massacre, the locker room is that way, Saint.

(Saint walks out of the ring, picks up a chaior, and sits down next to the ring. The fans cheer as the show starts to fade to commercial.)

JOE: Management will be front and center for this one. Bryce Bridges vs Gabreal Martin is up next!

________________________

COMING SOON

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JOE: We're back, and if you're just joining us, boy did you miss a shocker. After years of remaining loyal to Michael Saint, the man who helped make his career, Gabreal Martin has turned his loyalties to Rev and Gladiator.

SKIPPY: Saint had this one coming. He knew Rev and Gladiator have been busting themselves silly trying to force Bryce Bridges out of this business. He goes and extends a helping hand to Bryce. What did he expect would happen.

JOE: We knew Bryce was going to have a mystery opponent, and we knew The Sedition were probably setting him up, but who would have guessed they'd steal Saint's number 1 star out from under him.

SKIPPY: Nobody said this business was pretty.

JOE: Certainly not with you on camera. It's time for the match. Rev, Gladiator and Saint are all at ringside. Lets get to it.

Bryce Bridges -vs- Gabreal Martin

VIRGIL: Introducing first, already standing in the ring, from Los Angeles, California. Standing 6 feet and 1 inch, and weighing 220 pounds, He is the Chosen One, GABREAL MARTINNNNN!!!! Hey brother, wanna be a Virgil t-shirt? Only $20.
Gabe shoves Virgil and begins posing for the crowd as Edge of Seventeen by Jonas hits the PA system and the lights turn pink and green. Bryce walks out with his trademark zebra fedora. He walks with a cocky undertone, getting booed every step of the way. He goes to high five a fan who trys return the favor, but before he makes contact, he quickly lows his hand, and gives the fan a pissed off look. Bryce shakes his head in a disapproving manor and moves along. Once at the apron, he takes a step back, takes off his hat, gets a running start, and slides into the ring.
VIRGIL: And his opponent, coming at you from the Edge of Seventeen. He stands 6 feet and 4 inches, and weighs in at 254 pounds. He is “B-Double” the one and only BRYCE BRIDGES!!!!

The ref looks nervously from Saint to The Sedition and calls the the bell. Both men lock up and Gabe wins the test of strength. He knees Bridges in the midsection and whips him into the ropes. Bridges bounces off the ropes and is hit with a stiff clothesline from Gabe. Gabe quickly stomps the prone Bridges, working the legs and mid section with big stomps. Gabe taunts the crowd and goes for a big stomp to the head but Bridges rolls out of the way and manages to trip Gabe. Bridges quickly delivers a series of lefts and rights to Gabe before pulling him to his feet. Bridges hits a quick belly to belly suplex and is back to his feet. He drops a leg across the chest of Gabe. Both men get to the feet. Gabe goes for a tackle but Bridges delivers a falling kick to the face and Gabe falls to the mat. Bridges makes a cover and the ref starts to count.

..1

...2



Gabe kicks out and shakes the cobwebs from his head as he gets to his feet. Bryce grabs Gabe and whips him into the turnbuckle and follows it up with a big slash. Gabe staggers out of the corner as Bryce starts to climb the ropes. Gabe turns around and follows Bridges up the turnbuckle. Gabe nails a superplex on Bridges and both men lay on the mat catching their breath. The ref checks on both men. Gabe is the first to his feet and locks up with Bridges. Both men battle back and forth. Gabe gains the upperhand and executes an armbar to leg drop on Bridges. Gabe locks in a triangle armlock and applies pressure as Bridges struggles to reach the ropes. The ref checks on Bridges, asking if he wants to quit. Bridges shakes his head and reaches for the ropes. Bridges grabs the bottom rope and the ref tries to break Gabe's hold but he applies more pressure. The ref starts to count.

..1



...2



...3



....4



Gabe releases the hold and kicks Bridges hard in the back. Bryce starts to pull himself up with the ropes, but is tripped by Rev. Gladiator slips Gabe pair of brass knuckles as the ref leans over the ropes to warn Rev to stay out of it. Gabe slips on the brass knuckles and waits for Bridges to turn around. Bridges ducks Gabes punch and connects with a mule kick of his own. Bridges taunts Rev and Gladiator. Gabe hits Bridges with a brass knuckle low blow and Bridges drops to the mat. Gabe quickly discards the brass knuckles and makes a cover.

..1



...2



Saint puts Bridges foot on the bottom rope and yells at the ref. The ref stops the count when he sees Bridges foot on the ropes. Gabe pounds the mat in anger and starts to argue with the ref. Bridges reaches out and grabs the brass knuckles, slipping them on. Bridges slowly makes it to his feet. Bridges spins Gabe around and levels him with the brass knuckles. Bridges makes the cover but before he can get the one count Gladiator drags the ref out of the ring. Rev climbs into the ring and calls for the bell. The timekeeper rings the bell.

Rev: You're winner as a result of disqualification, Gabreal Martin.

Rev starts to raise Gabreal's hand as Saint climbs into the ring.

Saint: I don't think so! Gabe cheated first.

Rev: So you admit it! Bryce did cheat!

Rev and Saint stand face to face, arguing back and forth over who should be disqualified. Eventually the arguing turns to shoving. Saint shoves Rev and Rev shoves back. This goes on and on as the shouting match continues. The ref is pulling his hair out in frustration. As the arguement continues in the ring, the ref rolls outside and starts talking to Virgil. Back in the ring, everyone stops and looks at the referee when the bell rings again.

VIRGIL: Ladies and Gentlemen, the referee has declared this match no contest.

Bridges lunges at Gladiator and tackles him to the ground. Gabe dives at Saint as security rushes to the ring and breaks up the chaos. The guards are pulling them all apart and escorting them down the aisle. Bryce shouts the words “This isn't over yet” as the shot cuts back to Joe Aiello and Skippy Mohophosite.

JOE: As if tensions weren't high enough.

SKIPPY: Did you see that blonde in the third row checking me out?

JOE: No I missed that, Skippy. I was too busy watching your bosses, Rev and Gladiator trying to force an executive decision in Gabreal Martin's favor.

SKIPPY: Really? Is the match over already?

JOE: You have the attention span of a child.

**The chaos has moved backstage now, but the fans attention is drawn to the entranceway again, where the midget clown Frak appears dragging a dummy down the aisle.**

JOE: Hey Skippy, you have a visitor.

**Skippy looks down the aisle and sees Frak.**

SKIPPY: Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!

**Skippy hides behind Joe, trembling in fear. Frak comes all the way down the aisle and lays the dummy on it's back just in front of the commentators table. Skippy moves further away to avoid him. Frak then pulls out a can of gasoline and begins dumping it on the dummy. It's now clear that the dummy wears a lime green suit and a pair of glasses. It looks just like Skippy Mohophosite.**

SKIPPY: Leave me alone Frak! You have no business being out here!

**Frak finishes dumping the gasoline out and he drops a match on the dummy. It goes up in flames. Frak starts to dance around the flaming dummy.. Skippy screams again and turns around, trying to hop over the barricade and into the crowd. He's surprised to come face to face with Mr. Kiljoy sitting in the front row! Kiljoy puts his hands on Skippy and pushes him back into his seat.**

JOE: Oh how nice. The killer clown remembers you.

**Skippy is paralyzed with fear as Kiljoy easily steps over the barricade and pulls up a seat right next to Skippy. He puts an arm around Skippy and stares at him with that evil grin of his as the flames continue to burn. Skippy's usually pale complexion goes completely ghost like.

KILJOY: HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

**Kiljoy laughs in Skippy's face before standing up and walking away, leaving the burning dummy behind.

JOE: Good to see Mr. Kiljoy hasn't changed. We'll be back after these messages.

[Sedition: The Rev]

Mr. Kiljoy -vs- Waylon Hawthorne

“The Last Saskatchewan Pirate” begins to play. Waylon walks out onto the stage and flexes his saggy old man muscles. Waylon walks down the aisle. About halfway to the ring he seems to forget what he’s doing. He looks around and sees the ring and suddenly remembers what he’s supposed to do. He climbs up onto the apron and steps through the ropes. He stands in the middle of the ring and does a dopey old man dance.

VIRGIL: "Introducing First. Hailing from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. Weighing in at 245 lbs. He is a former SWA Television Champion, and SWA's lone member of the Hairclub For Men. "THE GERIATRIC ONE" WAYLON HAWTHORNE!!!"

When the theme to Silent Hill blasts in the arena we then see green smoke coming from the entranceway and then we see The Massive Mr.Kiljoy comes out with a sadistic smile on his face then he is followed by his faithfull sidekick the midget clown Frak. Then they both come into the ring and Mr. Kiljoy goes to the corner and climbs it and raises both his arms in the air as Frak is running around in the ring like a rabid pitbull.

VIRGIL: "And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by his midget Frak. He hails from God knows where. Standing at an amazing 7 feet, and tipping the scales at 320 lbs. Also a former SWA Television Champion. The Most Insane Clown In The World, MR. KILJOY!!!"

Both men stand in their corners. They look across the ring at the rusty blade hanging from the pole. Hawthorne runs over and tries to climb up to retrieve the blade. He gets up on the second turnbuckle, but Kiljoy comes from behind. He shoves Hawthoren from behind, and Hawthorne flips over the top rope and hits the concrete. Kiljoy steps over the top rope and drops to the outside. He goes to pick Hawthorne up, but Hawthorne hits him with a headbutt to the chest. Hawthorne gets up and grabs Kiljoy by the head. He delivers a Snapmare and follows it up with a Spinal Tap kick to Kiljoy's back. Hawthorne picks him up and delivers a Snap Suplex to the concrete. Hawthorne stands up and does the Charleston dance over Kiljoy's body. Frak comes from behind and bites the back of Hawthorne's leg. Hawthorne howls in pain and blood tricles down his leg. He turns around and boots Frak in the face. Frak tumbles back and hits his head on the steel ringsteps.

AIELLO: Yes folks, the SWA is back. Only in the SWA will you see a match involving a 7 foot clown, a midget clown, and a 65 year old man.

SKIPPY: And only in the SWA will you see a man dance the Charleston, get bit by a midget, then use the midget as a soccer ball.

Kiljoy gets up on his feet and grabs Hawthorne from behind. He slams Hawthorne down to the concrete with a Full Nelson Slam. He picks Hawthorne up and throws him into the ring. Kiljoy looks over at Skippy seated at the broadcast table. He points towards the rusty blade, then points at Skippy. Kiljoy smiles a sadistic smile and Skippy turns white as a ghost. As Kiljoy is taunting Skippy, Hawthorne climbs up on the top rope. He jumps off and hits Kiljoy to the back with a Double Axe Handle. Kiljoy tumbles forward and falls onto the broadcast table. Hawthorne slides his elbow pad off and climbs back up to the top rope. He raises his fingers in the air like the Macho Man and dives off the top rope with an Elbow Smash. Kiljoy rolls off the table at the last moment and Hawthorne crashes through the table. Kiljoy gets up on his feet and picks Hawthorne up he whips Hathorne to the guardrail. Kiljoy runs at him and hits him with a Big Boot to the face that sends Hawthorne over the guardrail and into the first row. He falls into the laps of some unsuspecting fans. Kiljoy uses the top of the guardrail and launches himself into the air. He drops down on Hawthorne with a Splash and crushes the fans underneath.

AIELLO: "Great, now the SWA will have a lawsuit on their hands. Those poor fans will surely sue."

SKIPPY: "Don't worry Joe, they're probably to drunk to be able to remember this happening."

Kiljoy gets up and picks Hawthorne up to his feet. He tosses Hawthorne over the guardrail and back to the ringside area. The drunken fans who were crushed underneath get up on their feet and seem oblivious to what just happened. Kiljoy climbs on the guardrail as Hawthorne gets up to his feet. Kiljoy dives off and hits Hawthorne with a Flying Clothesline. Hawthorne falls back right next to Frak, who gets up on his feet and bites Hawthorne's nose. Blood now trickles from Hawthorne's nose and his leg. Kiljoy picks up Hawthorne and throws him into the ring. Before Kiljoy climbs in he tosses a couple of chairs into the ring. He then reaches under the ring and pulls out a table, and a cookie sheet. That's right, the world's deadliest weapon, a cookie sheet. Kiljoy climbs into the ring. By the time he gets in Hawthorne is back on his feet. Kiljoy runs at him with a Clothesline, but Hawthorne ducks it. He grabs Kiljoy and delivers a Back Suplex. Hawthorne reaches down and picks up the cookie sheet. As Kiljoy gets up Hawthorne hits him over the head with the cookie sheet. Kiljoy just smiles and laughs. Hawthorne hits him again, but the weapon again had no effect. Kiljoy grabs Hawthorne by the throat and lifts him into the air. Kiljoy slams him down to the mat with a Chokeslam. Kiljoy picks up the table and sets it up in the center of the ring. Kiljoy picks up Hawthorne and drags him to the corner. Kiljoy climbs up to the top rope and pulls Hawthorne up. He tries to set Hawthorne up for a Super Powerbomb, but Hawthorne hits him with a couple of quick punches. Hawthorne lifts Kiljoy up and Superplexes him off the top rope and through the table. The fans leap out of their seats and begin to chant SWA! SWA! SWA!

AIELLO: "After all these years, the old man's still got it."

SKIPPY: "Good! I hope he finally puts that clown out of my misery."

Hawthorne is slow to get up. He clutches his back which is hurting from the fall. Hawthorne picks up a steel chair. He waits as Kiljoy slowly gets to his feet. Kiljoy gets up and Hawthorne hits him in the ribs with the chair. Kiljoy hurls over and Hawthorne drops the chair on the mat. Hawthorne drives Kiljoy's head down onto the chair with a DDT. Kiljoy lies out cold on the mat. Hawthorne places a chair on top of Kiljoy's head. He bounces off the ropes and drops down on Kiljoy with the OLD SCHOOL CRUNCH, crushing Kiljoy's head under the chair. Hawthorne gets up to his feet and points to the rusty blade. The fans cheer. Hawthorne climbs up to the top turnbuckle and reaches up. He is unable to reach the blade so he pulls himself up on the pole. Hawthorne yanks at the blade and pulls it away. He drops down to the mat and hold the blade in his hand. Frak climbs into the ring and kicks Hawthorne in the shin. Hawthorne drops the blade and grabs his shin. Frak picks up the blade. Frak looks to the outside where Skippy is sitting at the broadcast table. Skippy looks at Frak, and Frak holds up the blade. Frak jumps to the outside and comes after Skippy with the blade. Skippy's eyes bug out and he starts to run. Frak chases Skippy around the entire ring. As Frak rounds a corner, Hawthorne jumps to the outside with a steel chair in his hand. He hits Frak over the head with the chair. Frak drops to the ground and drops the blade. Skippy returns to the broadcast table and Joe is laughing at him.

SKIPPY: "Thanks alot Joe. I'm glad you find my brush with death amusing."

AIELLO: "No, thank you. That was the most entertained I've been all night."

Hawthorne picks up the blade, but Kiljoy reaches down from inside the ring. He grabs Hawthorne by the hair and pulls him up to the apron. Hawthorne drops the blade on the apron. Kiljoy picks Hawthorne up by the throat with both hands. He pulls him into the ring and slams him down to the mat with COTTON CANDY. Skippy gets out of his chair and grabs the rusty blade. He puts it in his pocket and sits down at the table. Kiljoy looks around the ring for the blade, but doesn't see it. He climbs out of the ring and starts to look for it. He checks under the ring, under the steps, and under Frak, but still doesn't find it. He looks over at Skippy who is grinning like a moron. As Kiljoy's eyes meet his, the grin turns to fear. Kiljoy points at Skippy and smiles. Skippy looks up and sees Hawthorne on his feet in the ring. Skippy pulls the blade out of his pocket and throws it to Hawthorne in the ring. Kiljoy turns around and sees Hawthorne holding the blade. Hawthorne waves Kiljoy over. Kiljoy walks up to the apron, and Hawthorne slides towards him with a Baseball Slide. Hawthorne slides and hits Kiljoy in the chest. Kiljoy falls backwards. Hawthorne rolls out to the ground. He lunges at Kiljoy with the blade, but Kiljoy rolls on the ground to dodge. Kiljoy picks up a nearby cookie sheet. Hawthorne lunges at him with the blade again, but Kiljoy blocks it using the cookie sheet as a shield.

AIELLO: "I don't believe it. Mr. Kiljoy just found a practical use for a cookie sheet in Pro Wrestling."

SKIPPY: "Kiljoy was bound to do something useful eventually."

Hawthorne backs away and Kiljoy throws the cookie sheet lika frisbee at Hawthorne's head. It hits him hard in the forehead, and Hawthorne stumbles back. He drops the blade, and Kiljoy runs at him, and hits him with a Spear. Kiljoy lays into Hawthorne with hard punches to the head. Kiljoy picks Hawthorne up and Powerbombs him down onto the ringsteps. Hawthorne rolls around on the ground clutching his back. Kiljoy walks over and picks up the rusty blade. He holds it up in the air and the fans cheer. Hawthorne gets up on his knees. Kiljoy stands over him and holds the blade high in the air laughing psychotically.

AIELLO: "Am I the only one having flashbacks to Stephen King's IT?"

SKIPPY: "Please, Kiljoy's nowhere near as scary as that clown."

AIELLO: "Than why do you wake up screaming his name?"

SKIPPY: "I told you to stay away from my dressing room."

Kiljoy thrusts the blade downwards, but Hawthorne just barely dodges it. He hits Kiljoy with a hard lowblow. Kiljoy drops the blade and doubles over in pain. Hawthorne throws him back into the ring. Hawthorne picks up the blade and slides into the ring. Kiljoy gets up onto his feet and Hawthorne runs at him with the blade. He lunges forward, but Kiljoy grabs Hawthorne by the arm. He pulls Hawthorne's own arm in and presses the blade towards Hawthorne's throat. Hawthorne pulls away with all his might. He flips his head back and hits Kiljoy with a hard headbutt to the chest. Kiljoy lets go of Hathorne's arm. Hawthorne runs at Kiljoy and tackles him down to the mat with a footbal tackle. Hawthorne tries to stab down with the blade, but Kiljoy grabs his arm and pushes it away. The two struggle back and forth with the blade. Kiljoy rolls Hawthorne over and pins him to the mat. Kiljoy now tries to stab Hawthorne, but Hawthorne resists.

AIELLO: "I hope these guys have had their tetnus shots."

SKIPPY: "I can't watch this. Someone's gotta stop that clown."

Skippy leaves his headset on the table and slides into the ring. Kiljoy looks over at his nemesis with rage in his eyes. He lets go of Hawthorne and stands to his feet. With his back to Hawthorne he advances on Skippy. Hawthorne comes from behind and clips Kiljoy's knee. Kiljoy falls down to the mat and the blade flies up in the air. Skippy goes to pick up the blade, but Frak slides into the ring. He takes a cookie sheet and hits Skippy in between the legs with it. Skippy howls in pain and drops to the mat. He drops the blade. Hawthorne and Kiljoy begin exchanging blows back and forth in the center of the ring. Frak picks up the blade and runs over towards Kiljoy. As Frak runs, Skippy grabs his foot and trips him. As Frak falls he throws the blade. It flies through the air towars Hawthorne and Kiljoy. Hawthorne reaches up to grab it, but Kiljoy cuts in front and snatches the blade. He thrusts his arm back and drives the blade into Hawthorne's bicep. Hawthorne drops back to the mat with the blade sticking out of his arm, and the ref calls for the bell.

VIRGIL: "Here is your winner, MR. KILJOY!!!"

JOE: Oh come on! I didn't see any advisory warnings before this match! Hawthorne's gonna need a dozen tetanus shots after that one. Mr. Kiljoy wins in our main event........ and it looks like Skippy's running for his life again.

**Kiljoy chases Skippy out of the ring while swinging the now bloody rusty blade. Swkippy's girlish shrieks can be heard over the thunderous ovation of the fans.**

JOE: We're out of time, and I'm losing feeling from the neck down. We'll see you one week from today for another episode of Saturday Night Fever, hopefully with no straight jacket requirements. Goodnight.

Copyright: 2010 Sedition Productions

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Duke Wallace vs Ian De Tornado vs Captain Insanity written by Rev
Teen Throb vs Kid Cannabis written by Michael Saint
Gabreal Martin vs Bryce Bridges written by Taylor M
Mr. Kiljoy vs Waylon Hawthorne written by Gladiator