Post by Teen Throb on Apr 9, 2010 13:52:01 GMT -6
{-- A stretch limo rolls through the slums of Edmonton. Druggies and hookers bang on the windows as it stops at a red light. Inside the limo is Teen Throb along with his cousin Fletch Baxter. Fletch is stuffing his big fat obese face as Teen Throb crouches in his seat trying to hide from all the low lifes outside the vehicle. --}
FLETCH- I think you're safe in here. This limo is bullet proof. No dirty hooker or crackhead is any threat to you.
TT- I'm not scared. I just don't want to be recognized. Last thing we need is a mob of adoring fans mobbing me. I want to stay out of the public eye until Saturday night on Fever.
FLETCH- Then it's probably a bad idea that you invited this camera crew long.
TT- I guess that would defeat the purpose. Teen Throb is back baby. Every young lady and homo or bisexual male get ready to see these rock solid abs in HIGH DEFINITION!
FLETCH- This is SWA. Rev and Gladiator are too cheap to spring for HD equipment.
TT- Always the same story. Maybe it's for the best. We don't want my chiseled six pack stealing the thunder from all the other athletes. Regardless whether they're my competition or not I still don't want to them to become secondary performers to my sexy body. Not everyone was blessed with an irresistible physique such as I was. Not to mention the sweet sounds of my singing voice. Don't even get me started on how much of a disadvantage they're all at because they can't bust out electrifying dance moves alike this.
{-- Teen Throb begins a series of pelvic thrusts and cheesy dance moves. --}
FLETCH- Weren't you rejected from Dancing With The Stars last year?
TT- Not rejected. I turned them down because of creative differences.
FLETCH- That's not true. They said you didn't have enough star power. I believe the producers exact words were "Get a time machine and come back to audition in 2001 when someone might care"
TT- It was discrimination against me because of my boy band association. If I had been any other type of musician they would have died to have me. They're always that prejudice against boy bands.
FLETCH- Yeah but if that's true then why did they choose Aaron Carter?
TT- Aaron Carter snorts coke with 9 year olds! Don't get me started on Aaron Carter!
FLETCH- All right just take it easy.
TT- Sorry Fletch it's just I'm a little sensitive about certain things.
{-- The limo stops at a red light and hangs a right. Teen Throb checks out googlemaps on his iPhone. Fletch pops a mouth full of cheetos and peeks at the map --}
FLETCH- What are we doing here?
TT- Heading for the spanish district. I'm in what's apparently the first ever Spanish commentators match in history. I have a plan and it requires me speaking spanish.
FLETCH- Didn't you learn that in high school like everyone else?
{-- Teen Throb turns and laughs at Fletch. --}
TT- Regular people get laid in high school, not learn spanish.
{-- Fletch squints his eyes and gives Teen Throb an angry look. --}
TT- I have to take precautions. My return to wrestling is still shaky. I gave myself a few warm up fights and right now I'm 1-1. Captain Insanity went down in EWC, then he attacked me and caused me to lose to Jesse Nunez in KCW. My triple fed return comes home this Saturday. And who do I get as an opponent? Kid Cannabis. Either the Sedition team mate with equal rights or the glorified errand boy for Rev and Gladiator. It could have been someone easy who I already know I can beat like that burned out soon to be ex champion Captain Insanity.
FLETCH- What do you mean soon to be ex champion.
TT- Oh you just wait and see. Saturday will be an interesting day for one Captain Insanity.
FLETCH- If you're thinking about interfering it's not worth it. Not only will he be in some secluded trailer park for his match, but you forgot that he's an EWC champ right now not SWA. His title won't be on the line.
{-- Teen Throb looks out the window all disappointed. --}
TT- There goes that plan. Hey look, we're here!
{-- The limo stops in front of a local fast food place called Burrito Del Rio. --}
FLETCH- What are we doing here?
TT- Taking precautions cousin. Like I already said Kid Cannabis has turned to the dark side and he's suddenly joined at the hip with Rev and Gladiator. I'm no dummy. I know you don't walk into a fight with the bosses new best friend without a backup plan. If we have to go through the spanish commentators table I want the spanish commentators on my side. From what I understand the salary for being a spanish commentator in SWA doesn't necessarily pay the bills so both Juan and Paco have to hold down side jobs at this localk Burrito feedbag.
FLETCH- Being world champion in SWA doesn't necessarily pay the bills. Are you sure you have the right guys?
TT- Of course. There can't be many Juan or Pacos in the spanish district. I'm smarter than that. Back on topic, I thought I could talk the spanish commentators into helping me out on Saturday. We'll see how receptive they are to the idea.
{-- Teen Throb sneaks out of the limo and runs into the restaurant. Fletch follows him and immediately starts looking at the menu on the wall behind the counter. Both Juan and Paco wear hair nets and aprons. They have no recognition for Teen Throb as he walks up to the counter. --}
JUAN- Thank you for coming to Burrito Del Rio, may I take your order?
{-- Teen Throb starts speaking very loud and slow --}
TT- Hola padre! My name es Teen Throb!
{-- Juan and Paco just keep nodding. --}
TT- Coma esta? Teen Throb requesta mucho grande help pulverizing Kid Cannabis!
FLETCH- Your spanish sucks.
TT- Shut up Fletch. Aturday-say ight-nay. Estling-wray atch-may. Eednay ot-ay eat-chay.
FLETCH- That's not even spanish. That's pig latin.
TT- I said shut up. Meesa need some big-o help-o to beat Kid Cannabis. Meesa pay yousa double what you makin now-o.
FLETCH- Dude now you're talking Jar Jar Binks language.
TT- You think you can do better, be my guest. Show me if it was worth it to study and NOT get laid Mr. Smarty pants.
{-- Teen Throb steps out of the way and Fletch gladly steps up to the counter. --}
FLETCH- Hey guys. You boys speak english?
JUAN- Sure do.
PACO- It's my first language.
{-- Fletch steps back and waves Teen Throb back in. --}
TT- What I was trying to say was I need some help from my favorite spanish commentators. I've been paired up with Kid Cannabis for the return of SWA show this saturday night. I know my chances are limited with him being on the same team as the bosses, and my chances are even more limited since he turned to the dark side and started biting off babies heads or whatever it is evil potheads do these days. You boys have control over that table, and I need to put Kid Cannabis through it. More import I need to make sure he doesn't put me through it. I'm 1-1 and I need this win to be taken seriously again. A stunning body and a flawless profile can only get you so far in this business. After a while they start to look at records. With any win I'll be on the rise again in SWA. With a win over The Sedition's golden boy, I'll be unstoppable. But to make sure that happens I need the famous spanish commentating doe to help me win the first ever spanish commentators table match. With you guys in my back pocket I'll have an even bigger advantage than Cannabis. Are you guys in? I'll throw in a free autographed 8x10 and concert tickets to Watch Out's new world tour. Better yet you can be back up singers on the tour. What do you say?
{-- Paco and Juan look at each other and give a shrug. --}
JUAN- Okay.
TT- Great. This will be a night to remember. It'll be the night that Teen Throb conquered the politics of the evil Kid Cannabis and his evil Sedition team mates. Just keep this deal secret. If Cannabis, Rev or Gladiator finds out about our little deal here I guarantee they'll pick new announcers. So hush hush until I give you the signal on saturday night. Juan and Paco, you're playing for Teen Throb's team now. I'll watch your back and you watch mine. Wait for the signal and victory will be ours. If I ask you toattack, you attack. If I ask you protect the table and pull me off if I'm in danger, you pull me right off. We work as a team. I'll see you boys at the spanish commentating table.
{-- Teen Throb salutes Juan and Paco and walks toward the door. Fletch follows but turns around to say one more thing. --}
FLETCH- Yeah and I'll be back for a half dozen of those pork and black bean burritos later.
TT- Viva la SWA!
{-- Teen Throb yells this as he walks out the door. Juan and Paco turn to each other. --}
JUAN- Who was that guy and what's an SWA?
PACO- What's a spanish commentator?
JUAN- Beats me. Lets go back to work.
FLETCH- I think you're safe in here. This limo is bullet proof. No dirty hooker or crackhead is any threat to you.
TT- I'm not scared. I just don't want to be recognized. Last thing we need is a mob of adoring fans mobbing me. I want to stay out of the public eye until Saturday night on Fever.
FLETCH- Then it's probably a bad idea that you invited this camera crew long.
TT- I guess that would defeat the purpose. Teen Throb is back baby. Every young lady and homo or bisexual male get ready to see these rock solid abs in HIGH DEFINITION!
FLETCH- This is SWA. Rev and Gladiator are too cheap to spring for HD equipment.
TT- Always the same story. Maybe it's for the best. We don't want my chiseled six pack stealing the thunder from all the other athletes. Regardless whether they're my competition or not I still don't want to them to become secondary performers to my sexy body. Not everyone was blessed with an irresistible physique such as I was. Not to mention the sweet sounds of my singing voice. Don't even get me started on how much of a disadvantage they're all at because they can't bust out electrifying dance moves alike this.
{-- Teen Throb begins a series of pelvic thrusts and cheesy dance moves. --}
FLETCH- Weren't you rejected from Dancing With The Stars last year?
TT- Not rejected. I turned them down because of creative differences.
FLETCH- That's not true. They said you didn't have enough star power. I believe the producers exact words were "Get a time machine and come back to audition in 2001 when someone might care"
TT- It was discrimination against me because of my boy band association. If I had been any other type of musician they would have died to have me. They're always that prejudice against boy bands.
FLETCH- Yeah but if that's true then why did they choose Aaron Carter?
TT- Aaron Carter snorts coke with 9 year olds! Don't get me started on Aaron Carter!
FLETCH- All right just take it easy.
TT- Sorry Fletch it's just I'm a little sensitive about certain things.
{-- The limo stops at a red light and hangs a right. Teen Throb checks out googlemaps on his iPhone. Fletch pops a mouth full of cheetos and peeks at the map --}
FLETCH- What are we doing here?
TT- Heading for the spanish district. I'm in what's apparently the first ever Spanish commentators match in history. I have a plan and it requires me speaking spanish.
FLETCH- Didn't you learn that in high school like everyone else?
{-- Teen Throb turns and laughs at Fletch. --}
TT- Regular people get laid in high school, not learn spanish.
{-- Fletch squints his eyes and gives Teen Throb an angry look. --}
TT- I have to take precautions. My return to wrestling is still shaky. I gave myself a few warm up fights and right now I'm 1-1. Captain Insanity went down in EWC, then he attacked me and caused me to lose to Jesse Nunez in KCW. My triple fed return comes home this Saturday. And who do I get as an opponent? Kid Cannabis. Either the Sedition team mate with equal rights or the glorified errand boy for Rev and Gladiator. It could have been someone easy who I already know I can beat like that burned out soon to be ex champion Captain Insanity.
FLETCH- What do you mean soon to be ex champion.
TT- Oh you just wait and see. Saturday will be an interesting day for one Captain Insanity.
FLETCH- If you're thinking about interfering it's not worth it. Not only will he be in some secluded trailer park for his match, but you forgot that he's an EWC champ right now not SWA. His title won't be on the line.
{-- Teen Throb looks out the window all disappointed. --}
TT- There goes that plan. Hey look, we're here!
{-- The limo stops in front of a local fast food place called Burrito Del Rio. --}
FLETCH- What are we doing here?
TT- Taking precautions cousin. Like I already said Kid Cannabis has turned to the dark side and he's suddenly joined at the hip with Rev and Gladiator. I'm no dummy. I know you don't walk into a fight with the bosses new best friend without a backup plan. If we have to go through the spanish commentators table I want the spanish commentators on my side. From what I understand the salary for being a spanish commentator in SWA doesn't necessarily pay the bills so both Juan and Paco have to hold down side jobs at this localk Burrito feedbag.
FLETCH- Being world champion in SWA doesn't necessarily pay the bills. Are you sure you have the right guys?
TT- Of course. There can't be many Juan or Pacos in the spanish district. I'm smarter than that. Back on topic, I thought I could talk the spanish commentators into helping me out on Saturday. We'll see how receptive they are to the idea.
{-- Teen Throb sneaks out of the limo and runs into the restaurant. Fletch follows him and immediately starts looking at the menu on the wall behind the counter. Both Juan and Paco wear hair nets and aprons. They have no recognition for Teen Throb as he walks up to the counter. --}
JUAN- Thank you for coming to Burrito Del Rio, may I take your order?
{-- Teen Throb starts speaking very loud and slow --}
TT- Hola padre! My name es Teen Throb!
{-- Juan and Paco just keep nodding. --}
TT- Coma esta? Teen Throb requesta mucho grande help pulverizing Kid Cannabis!
FLETCH- Your spanish sucks.
TT- Shut up Fletch. Aturday-say ight-nay. Estling-wray atch-may. Eednay ot-ay eat-chay.
FLETCH- That's not even spanish. That's pig latin.
TT- I said shut up. Meesa need some big-o help-o to beat Kid Cannabis. Meesa pay yousa double what you makin now-o.
FLETCH- Dude now you're talking Jar Jar Binks language.
TT- You think you can do better, be my guest. Show me if it was worth it to study and NOT get laid Mr. Smarty pants.
{-- Teen Throb steps out of the way and Fletch gladly steps up to the counter. --}
FLETCH- Hey guys. You boys speak english?
JUAN- Sure do.
PACO- It's my first language.
{-- Fletch steps back and waves Teen Throb back in. --}
TT- What I was trying to say was I need some help from my favorite spanish commentators. I've been paired up with Kid Cannabis for the return of SWA show this saturday night. I know my chances are limited with him being on the same team as the bosses, and my chances are even more limited since he turned to the dark side and started biting off babies heads or whatever it is evil potheads do these days. You boys have control over that table, and I need to put Kid Cannabis through it. More import I need to make sure he doesn't put me through it. I'm 1-1 and I need this win to be taken seriously again. A stunning body and a flawless profile can only get you so far in this business. After a while they start to look at records. With any win I'll be on the rise again in SWA. With a win over The Sedition's golden boy, I'll be unstoppable. But to make sure that happens I need the famous spanish commentating doe to help me win the first ever spanish commentators table match. With you guys in my back pocket I'll have an even bigger advantage than Cannabis. Are you guys in? I'll throw in a free autographed 8x10 and concert tickets to Watch Out's new world tour. Better yet you can be back up singers on the tour. What do you say?
{-- Paco and Juan look at each other and give a shrug. --}
JUAN- Okay.
TT- Great. This will be a night to remember. It'll be the night that Teen Throb conquered the politics of the evil Kid Cannabis and his evil Sedition team mates. Just keep this deal secret. If Cannabis, Rev or Gladiator finds out about our little deal here I guarantee they'll pick new announcers. So hush hush until I give you the signal on saturday night. Juan and Paco, you're playing for Teen Throb's team now. I'll watch your back and you watch mine. Wait for the signal and victory will be ours. If I ask you toattack, you attack. If I ask you protect the table and pull me off if I'm in danger, you pull me right off. We work as a team. I'll see you boys at the spanish commentating table.
{-- Teen Throb salutes Juan and Paco and walks toward the door. Fletch follows but turns around to say one more thing. --}
FLETCH- Yeah and I'll be back for a half dozen of those pork and black bean burritos later.
TT- Viva la SWA!
{-- Teen Throb yells this as he walks out the door. Juan and Paco turn to each other. --}
JUAN- Who was that guy and what's an SWA?
PACO- What's a spanish commentator?
JUAN- Beats me. Lets go back to work.