Post by Sedition: The Rev on Nov 15, 2010 23:17:39 GMT -6
**It's a Sedition round table meeting backstage before the opening of Fever. SWA owners and General Managers The Rev and Gladiator are joined by publicist, commentator and lothario Skippy Mohophosite, 9 year old sweatshop foreman Hong-Bo, the leader of Gladiator's Botswanan blood monkey army, Montacor, and the brilliant but clinically insane science adviser Dr. Rosen. Physically present but mentally absent is the chosen one Gabreal Martin, who is preoccupied watching the new Blu Ray box set of his Extreme Enough show. Gladiator is looking at his watch impatiently.**
GLADIATOR: This is just like him. Chambers is never on time.
REV: When has he ever been late before?
GLADIATOR: Oh gee, I don't know. Does this ring a bell to you? Hey Chambers, we're reopening the SWA in April. Be there or be square. Anyone seen the word November on the top of their calendar this month?
REV: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll give him another minute and then start without him.
**Just as the words finish coming out of Rev's mouth, James Chambers comes through the door. He sits back and rests his feet on the table. He turns to Skippy and snaps his fingers.**
CHAMBERS: Garcon, bring me a coffee. Bake me some nachos while you're at it, butler boy.
SKIPPY: But I'm not a butler. Remember me, I'm Skippy.
HONG-BO: That sounds delicious. Make that two.
GABE: I'll have some of those too, but with a tall glass of Iced Tea.
**Skippy looks to Rev to correct everyone, but Rev just shoos him away. Skippy wraps an apron around his waist and sulks out of the room.**
GLADIATOR: If you ladies are done ordering, can we get down to business?
CHAMBERS: Not just yet. Where are the welcome Jimmy banners, the balloons, strippers, etc. What kind of a welcome home party is this?
GLADIATOR: The kind that's not a welcome home party. We're here to plan the Sedition presence at Sadistic Rage. It's only 2 weeks away, and we've already lost a chance at the SWA Championship thanks to golden boy over there. We could have placed a contender in the Extreme Combat Championship, but golden boy spat on that idea as well
GABE: Hey, you guys are supposed to be the bosses around here. I still don't understand why you can't just put me in the title match instead of Psycho Dragon.
REV: Not that simple. Due to certain contracts that can't be broken, Michael Sainjt has equal booking power, and he objected to you receiving another title match.
GABE: And what idiot signed that paperwork?
**Rev's eyes look away as he remembers back to an early meeting with Michael Saint**
**Michael Saint wakes Rev up from a nap at his desk.**
SAINT: Rev, can you validate my parking for me?
**Rev scribbles his signature across a clearly labeled contract and falls right back asleep.**
REV: Hmm..... must have been Skippy. Back to plans, with no possible SWA or Extreme Combat title match, we need to find out where to place Gabe.
GABE: How about nowhere?
GLADIATOR: Not exactly what we had in mind.
GABE: If I'm not getting a title shot I'm not on the show at all. I'm usually a very flexible guy, but this time I'm, putting my foot down.
REV: That's the same thing you said a few weeks ago when we negotiated your last title match.
GABE: Not another word on the matter.
**Gabreal Martin storms out of the room. There's an awkward silence.**[/color]
CHAMBERS: I call dibs on his nachos.
GLADIATOR: Forget the nachos. We need a Sedition presence at Sadistic Rage. Gabreal is out, so that leaves us with fewer options. Chambers and Rosen, you guys are officially booked.
DR. ROSEN: Yeah, about that. I'm planning a vacation that week and may or may not be sunbathing on a beach in an alternate dimension, all depending on how my tests go this week.
CHAMBERS: I was thinking about taking on beating Gladiator, but the fans would be like “been there, seen that 3 times already”
**Gladiator gives Chambers the evil eye. Montacor squawks and gives an evil eye as well.**
CHAMBERS: So how about I move out of the ring and into a new interview segment, kind of like my own version of Piper's Pit. I can call it The C.R.A.P. Bowl, and I'd interview great pop culture icons of the past. My first guest can be the guy who played Nick on Family Ties.
REV: Ooooooo.
GLADIATOR: Ahhhhh.
MONTACOR: Oooo ooo, ahhh, ahhh.
HONG-BO: Bravo!
DR. ROSEN: Pfffttt!
CHAMBERS: You scoff at my C.R.A.P. Bowl proposal?
DR. ROSEN: Nick was nothing more than a mediocre 80-s knock off of The Fonz.
CHAMBERS: Was not.
DR. ROSEN: Was too.
CHAMBERS: Henry Winkler can suck it!
DR. ROSEN: Darn right, and at least twice as good as Nick!
**Chambers dives over the table and tackles Rosen to the ground. Rev and Gladiator ignore the commotion and turn to face each other.**
REV: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
GLADIATOR: The Fonz vs Nick from Family Ties?
REV: No.
**Rev and Gladiator turn and watch Rosen bashing Chambers head through the drywall as Chambers pulls out a switchblade and prepares to knife her in the back**
PRESENTS
Live from
BOISE, IDAHO, USA
**The Sunday Night Fever logo fades and we see an opening shot of the jam packed arena in Boise, Idaho. The fans are hyper-active and giddy, as a live SWA show is just about the single most exciting event to hit Boise, Idaho since Richard Marx played a state fair 15 years earlier. Down at ringside Joe Aiello stands by himself, with the twins from Got Milk chewing on some cud on the floor next to him.**
JOE: We are live from Boise, Idaho, and I'm apparently flying solo tonight, as Skippy is busy preparing refreshments for everyone backstage, Welcome to Sunday Night Fever. We are 2 weeks away from the big show. Sadistic Rage III is just around the corner. We have been promised that by the end of the night we will have new matches announced for the Pay Per View event. Before we get to that, there are 3 big matches on the show for tonight. Let's take a look at what we have.
JOE: I'm sure we'll see some fireworks tonight.
**Skippy appears on camera. He takes off his apron and places his headset on.**
SKIPPY: Sorry I'm late. After Chambers and Rosen were separated they each sent back their nachos.
JOE: If they don't want it, I'll gladly take it off your hands. I've been fed nothing but slop and dog biscuits all week.
SKIPPY: Sorry, Joe. I'm under strict orders to avoid feeding you anything that will make you gassy.
JOE: Figures. I'm denioed nachos, but Rev and Gladiator give me real cud for these two morons to eat. Am I the only one aware that Got Milk are actually grown men?
** Cow #1 and Cow #2 shrug their shoulders.**
Cow #1: Mooooooo?
JOE: Don't just stand there mooing, get in the ring, your match is first up.
**Joe takes out a stick and starts hitting them with it. They gallop across the floor and rolls under the bottom rope.**
Branden Harvey -vs- Got Milk?
As “I Am Cow” by Arrogant Worms plays, the cows from Got Milk each trip over each other while trying to climb on the turnbuckle pads. They pick themselves off the mat, dust off their cow costumes, and lean against the ropes while trying to catch their breath.
VIRGIL: Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 600 lbs. From Kingston, Ontario, Canada. They are the duo that put Handicap into the Handicap match, the team of GOT MILK?!!!!!!
"Fuel by Metallica hits the speakers. Suddenly, high above the crowd, "Supersonic" Branden Harvey comes riding in on a cable. As he reaches the ring, he does a backflip off the cable and lands on his feet in the center of in the ring. Scaring Got Milk who tip over on their side.
VIRGIL: And their opponent, from Sacramento, California. He stands 5 feet and 8 inches, and weighs an anorexic 140 lbs. He is “Supersonic” Branden Harvey!!!!!
Harvey is stretching and looks ready for the match. As the bell rings the cows from Got Milk look startled as they look around for the origin of the “ding”
JOE: Branden Harvey has already faced and defeated Got Milk once. We'll see if he can do it again.
Cow #1 heads to the corner as Harvey and #2 lock up. Cow #2 pushes Harvey to the mat and jumps for joy and makes a quick tag to his partner. Cow #1 rushes into the ring and clotheslines Harvey as he gets to his feet. Harvey is quick to get back to his feet and ducks another clothesline. Cow #1 looks confused that the clothesline didn’t connect, Harvey hits him with a standing dropkick from behind. Cow #1 stumbles forward and falls against the ropes. Harvey pulls on the rope, choking Cow #1. The ref signals for Harvey to let him free as Cow #2 moo’s loudly in the corner.
SKIPPY: What's he trying to say? You're the translator now, Joe
JOE: How am I supposed to know. Roughly translated I'd say it's cow speak for “Moo” or something.
Harvey breaks the choke and pulls Cow #1 back to his feet and whips him into the turnbuckle. The two men in cow costumes collide and Cow #2 falls to the floor outside the ring.
JOE: There's that tag team coordination we've been working on.
Harvey runs and hits a splash against Cow#1 as he slouches in the corner. Cow #1 staggers out of the corner and Harvey nails a DDT. Harvey executes a leg drop across the chest of Cow #1. Harvey climbs the turnbuckle and prepares for senton, but Cow #2 manages to push him off the turnbuckle. Harvey tumbles off the top rope and lands on cow #1. The ref makes the count.
…1
…2
… Kickout.
Cow #1 manages to kick out at the last second. Harvey rolls off and looks around trying to figure out what happened. Cow #1 crawls over to the corner and tags in Cow #2. Harvey gets back to his feet and ready for Got Milk?. Cow #2 rushes at Harvey, Harvey counters with a drop toe hold. Harvey kicks the downed cow before he climbs the turnbuckle and hits a senton on Cow #2.
SKIPPY: Your boys are getting murdered in there. Shouldn't you be doing something to help them?
JOE: I would just put them out of their misery Old Yeller style, but your bosses won't let me have a gun.
Harvey gives Cow #2 a few quick kicks and punches before locking in his finisher, ‘The 70s Hold’, a STF. The ref checks on Cow #2 asking if he gives up. Cow #2 shakes his head. Cow #1 climbs under the rope into the ring to save his partner but gets caught up in the ropes and trips. Cow #2 taps out and the ref calls for the bell.
Your winner by submission, the giant killer/cow slaughterer, Branden Harvey!
**Cow #1 and Cow #2 roll out of the ring. They're rolling around at the edge of the commentators table moaning and mooing in agony.**
JOE: You know, if you “accidentally” shot them, that would be fine too.
SKIPPY: I have half a mind to call The Humane Society on you you monster.
JOE: They're not real cows! Forget it. Get backstage you fools!
**The cows from Got Milk crawl down the aisle and disappear behind the curtain.**
JOE: Another impressive win for Branden Harvey. Many out there have considered him lucky for winning a shot at the EC belt at Sadistic Rage, but between his win over the huge monster Mihail Stelio and a Handicap match against Got Milk, Harvey may be more dangerous than most people realize. We'll be back after this break.
GLADIATOR: This is just like him. Chambers is never on time.
REV: When has he ever been late before?
GLADIATOR: Oh gee, I don't know. Does this ring a bell to you? Hey Chambers, we're reopening the SWA in April. Be there or be square. Anyone seen the word November on the top of their calendar this month?
REV: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll give him another minute and then start without him.
**Just as the words finish coming out of Rev's mouth, James Chambers comes through the door. He sits back and rests his feet on the table. He turns to Skippy and snaps his fingers.**
CHAMBERS: Garcon, bring me a coffee. Bake me some nachos while you're at it, butler boy.
SKIPPY: But I'm not a butler. Remember me, I'm Skippy.
HONG-BO: That sounds delicious. Make that two.
GABE: I'll have some of those too, but with a tall glass of Iced Tea.
**Skippy looks to Rev to correct everyone, but Rev just shoos him away. Skippy wraps an apron around his waist and sulks out of the room.**
GLADIATOR: If you ladies are done ordering, can we get down to business?
CHAMBERS: Not just yet. Where are the welcome Jimmy banners, the balloons, strippers, etc. What kind of a welcome home party is this?
GLADIATOR: The kind that's not a welcome home party. We're here to plan the Sedition presence at Sadistic Rage. It's only 2 weeks away, and we've already lost a chance at the SWA Championship thanks to golden boy over there. We could have placed a contender in the Extreme Combat Championship, but golden boy spat on that idea as well
GABE: Hey, you guys are supposed to be the bosses around here. I still don't understand why you can't just put me in the title match instead of Psycho Dragon.
REV: Not that simple. Due to certain contracts that can't be broken, Michael Sainjt has equal booking power, and he objected to you receiving another title match.
GABE: And what idiot signed that paperwork?
**Rev's eyes look away as he remembers back to an early meeting with Michael Saint**
**Michael Saint wakes Rev up from a nap at his desk.**
SAINT: Rev, can you validate my parking for me?
**Rev scribbles his signature across a clearly labeled contract and falls right back asleep.**
REV: Hmm..... must have been Skippy. Back to plans, with no possible SWA or Extreme Combat title match, we need to find out where to place Gabe.
GABE: How about nowhere?
GLADIATOR: Not exactly what we had in mind.
GABE: If I'm not getting a title shot I'm not on the show at all. I'm usually a very flexible guy, but this time I'm, putting my foot down.
REV: That's the same thing you said a few weeks ago when we negotiated your last title match.
GABE: Not another word on the matter.
**Gabreal Martin storms out of the room. There's an awkward silence.**[/color]
CHAMBERS: I call dibs on his nachos.
GLADIATOR: Forget the nachos. We need a Sedition presence at Sadistic Rage. Gabreal is out, so that leaves us with fewer options. Chambers and Rosen, you guys are officially booked.
DR. ROSEN: Yeah, about that. I'm planning a vacation that week and may or may not be sunbathing on a beach in an alternate dimension, all depending on how my tests go this week.
CHAMBERS: I was thinking about taking on beating Gladiator, but the fans would be like “been there, seen that 3 times already”
**Gladiator gives Chambers the evil eye. Montacor squawks and gives an evil eye as well.**
CHAMBERS: So how about I move out of the ring and into a new interview segment, kind of like my own version of Piper's Pit. I can call it The C.R.A.P. Bowl, and I'd interview great pop culture icons of the past. My first guest can be the guy who played Nick on Family Ties.
REV: Ooooooo.
GLADIATOR: Ahhhhh.
MONTACOR: Oooo ooo, ahhh, ahhh.
HONG-BO: Bravo!
DR. ROSEN: Pfffttt!
CHAMBERS: You scoff at my C.R.A.P. Bowl proposal?
DR. ROSEN: Nick was nothing more than a mediocre 80-s knock off of The Fonz.
CHAMBERS: Was not.
DR. ROSEN: Was too.
CHAMBERS: Henry Winkler can suck it!
DR. ROSEN: Darn right, and at least twice as good as Nick!
**Chambers dives over the table and tackles Rosen to the ground. Rev and Gladiator ignore the commotion and turn to face each other.**
REV: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
GLADIATOR: The Fonz vs Nick from Family Ties?
REV: No.
**Rev and Gladiator turn and watch Rosen bashing Chambers head through the drywall as Chambers pulls out a switchblade and prepares to knife her in the back**
_________________
PRESENTS
Live from
BOISE, IDAHO, USA
**The Sunday Night Fever logo fades and we see an opening shot of the jam packed arena in Boise, Idaho. The fans are hyper-active and giddy, as a live SWA show is just about the single most exciting event to hit Boise, Idaho since Richard Marx played a state fair 15 years earlier. Down at ringside Joe Aiello stands by himself, with the twins from Got Milk chewing on some cud on the floor next to him.**
JOE: We are live from Boise, Idaho, and I'm apparently flying solo tonight, as Skippy is busy preparing refreshments for everyone backstage, Welcome to Sunday Night Fever. We are 2 weeks away from the big show. Sadistic Rage III is just around the corner. We have been promised that by the end of the night we will have new matches announced for the Pay Per View event. Before we get to that, there are 3 big matches on the show for tonight. Let's take a look at what we have.
------------------------------
MAIN EVENT
Special Guest Referee: Ian DeTornado
PSYCHO DRAGON
-vs-
LARSEN VAN DER KAMP
EXTREME COMBAT TITLE MATCH
TEEN THROB
-vs-
WAYLON HAWTHORNE
HANDICAP MATCH
BRANDEN HARVEY
-vs-
GOT MILK?
------------------------------
MAIN EVENT
Special Guest Referee: Ian DeTornado
PSYCHO DRAGON
-vs-
LARSEN VAN DER KAMP
EXTREME COMBAT TITLE MATCH
TEEN THROB
-vs-
WAYLON HAWTHORNE
HANDICAP MATCH
BRANDEN HARVEY
-vs-
GOT MILK?
------------------------------
JOE: I'm sure we'll see some fireworks tonight.
**Skippy appears on camera. He takes off his apron and places his headset on.**
SKIPPY: Sorry I'm late. After Chambers and Rosen were separated they each sent back their nachos.
JOE: If they don't want it, I'll gladly take it off your hands. I've been fed nothing but slop and dog biscuits all week.
SKIPPY: Sorry, Joe. I'm under strict orders to avoid feeding you anything that will make you gassy.
JOE: Figures. I'm denioed nachos, but Rev and Gladiator give me real cud for these two morons to eat. Am I the only one aware that Got Milk are actually grown men?
** Cow #1 and Cow #2 shrug their shoulders.**
Cow #1: Mooooooo?
JOE: Don't just stand there mooing, get in the ring, your match is first up.
**Joe takes out a stick and starts hitting them with it. They gallop across the floor and rolls under the bottom rope.**
Branden Harvey -vs- Got Milk?
As “I Am Cow” by Arrogant Worms plays, the cows from Got Milk each trip over each other while trying to climb on the turnbuckle pads. They pick themselves off the mat, dust off their cow costumes, and lean against the ropes while trying to catch their breath.
VIRGIL: Introducing first, at a total combined weight of 600 lbs. From Kingston, Ontario, Canada. They are the duo that put Handicap into the Handicap match, the team of GOT MILK?!!!!!!
"Fuel by Metallica hits the speakers. Suddenly, high above the crowd, "Supersonic" Branden Harvey comes riding in on a cable. As he reaches the ring, he does a backflip off the cable and lands on his feet in the center of in the ring. Scaring Got Milk who tip over on their side.
VIRGIL: And their opponent, from Sacramento, California. He stands 5 feet and 8 inches, and weighs an anorexic 140 lbs. He is “Supersonic” Branden Harvey!!!!!
Harvey is stretching and looks ready for the match. As the bell rings the cows from Got Milk look startled as they look around for the origin of the “ding”
JOE: Branden Harvey has already faced and defeated Got Milk once. We'll see if he can do it again.
Cow #1 heads to the corner as Harvey and #2 lock up. Cow #2 pushes Harvey to the mat and jumps for joy and makes a quick tag to his partner. Cow #1 rushes into the ring and clotheslines Harvey as he gets to his feet. Harvey is quick to get back to his feet and ducks another clothesline. Cow #1 looks confused that the clothesline didn’t connect, Harvey hits him with a standing dropkick from behind. Cow #1 stumbles forward and falls against the ropes. Harvey pulls on the rope, choking Cow #1. The ref signals for Harvey to let him free as Cow #2 moo’s loudly in the corner.
SKIPPY: What's he trying to say? You're the translator now, Joe
JOE: How am I supposed to know. Roughly translated I'd say it's cow speak for “Moo” or something.
Harvey breaks the choke and pulls Cow #1 back to his feet and whips him into the turnbuckle. The two men in cow costumes collide and Cow #2 falls to the floor outside the ring.
JOE: There's that tag team coordination we've been working on.
Harvey runs and hits a splash against Cow#1 as he slouches in the corner. Cow #1 staggers out of the corner and Harvey nails a DDT. Harvey executes a leg drop across the chest of Cow #1. Harvey climbs the turnbuckle and prepares for senton, but Cow #2 manages to push him off the turnbuckle. Harvey tumbles off the top rope and lands on cow #1. The ref makes the count.
…1
…2
… Kickout.
Cow #1 manages to kick out at the last second. Harvey rolls off and looks around trying to figure out what happened. Cow #1 crawls over to the corner and tags in Cow #2. Harvey gets back to his feet and ready for Got Milk?. Cow #2 rushes at Harvey, Harvey counters with a drop toe hold. Harvey kicks the downed cow before he climbs the turnbuckle and hits a senton on Cow #2.
SKIPPY: Your boys are getting murdered in there. Shouldn't you be doing something to help them?
JOE: I would just put them out of their misery Old Yeller style, but your bosses won't let me have a gun.
Harvey gives Cow #2 a few quick kicks and punches before locking in his finisher, ‘The 70s Hold’, a STF. The ref checks on Cow #2 asking if he gives up. Cow #2 shakes his head. Cow #1 climbs under the rope into the ring to save his partner but gets caught up in the ropes and trips. Cow #2 taps out and the ref calls for the bell.
Your winner by submission, the giant killer/cow slaughterer, Branden Harvey!
**Cow #1 and Cow #2 roll out of the ring. They're rolling around at the edge of the commentators table moaning and mooing in agony.**
JOE: You know, if you “accidentally” shot them, that would be fine too.
SKIPPY: I have half a mind to call The Humane Society on you you monster.
JOE: They're not real cows! Forget it. Get backstage you fools!
**The cows from Got Milk crawl down the aisle and disappear behind the curtain.**
JOE: Another impressive win for Branden Harvey. Many out there have considered him lucky for winning a shot at the EC belt at Sadistic Rage, but between his win over the huge monster Mihail Stelio and a Handicap match against Got Milk, Harvey may be more dangerous than most people realize. We'll be back after this break.
_____________________________
